


Midwife

by joyrdings



Category: Peaky Blinders (TV)
Genre: Babies, Explicit Language, Explicit Sexual Content, F/M, Midwifery, Murder, Sex, Violence, but ill give warnings, but peaky blinders world, idk - Freeform, idk what to tag, kinda like call the midwife, oh and it can be triggering in a couple of chapters
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-01-13
Updated: 2019-02-09
Packaged: 2019-03-04 03:29:17
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 48
Words: 155,994
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13355559
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/joyrdings/pseuds/joyrdings
Summary: From the moment Michael Gray saw Hannah Anderson down the side of the alley way, hands shaking and dried tears stuck to her rosy cheeks as she struggled to light the cigarette, Michael knew that he had stumbled across someone special. ( can also be found on my wattpad account - johnshelby )





	1. first meeting.

**Author's Note:**

> hello. so, this is my first michael fic - i've wrote plenty about tommy - and i decided to post it on here. feedback is always, always appreciated so please leave comment's if you would like. this is also on my wattpad - john shelby - which also has my tommy fics on there. you can also find my one shots/imagines on my tumblr account - johnsheiby. thank you + i hope you enjoy.

For a brief moment, Michael thought that the young woman who was down the side of an alley was a working girl until he saw the uniform that she was wearing. It was an easy mistake; she was down the side of an alley, the sweat that had gathered was covering her forehead and causing her hair to become a wild mess as brown locks fell down the side of her face, make-up smudged, and her breath was departing her frame at a rapid and worrying pace.

He should have overlooked the young woman and walked forward until he returned home - wherever that was - but a part of him was fascinated. The night was cold, and the girl was shivering as she struggled to light the cigarette that was dangling from her pouted lips. There was a look of defeat on her face from what Michael could see, he only managed to briefly see her face before the lighter stopped glowing up her heavenly features.

Michael himself was not one to judge the poor women's appearance, he looked a mess, just not as bad as the shadowy girl. Rather large splatters of blood were on his face from the bar fight that him and Isaiah had previously been in. Some blood was on his face, the other guys came out worse, but there were still a few open wounds that could easily be mended with some boiled water and good care - also, a lot of liquor. Isaiah had wondered away after the fight, most likely with a girl attached to his side, leaving Michael to find his own way back home despite being half-drunk and unaware of his surroundings.

After a few moments of debating with himself mutely, Michael finally sauntered down the alley with as much self-confidence as he could muster together until he was directly face-to-face with the young woman. For a moment, she looked afraid of Michael's presence. The other midwives had advised her not to talk to strange men in the dead of night, especially around the rough areas but there was something different about the man in front of her, she could tell instantaneously. She looked down quickly and spotted his blood-spattered knuckles, but his face was a contrast to the bright red knuckles. His face had innocence hidden deep in the features, but the purity was fading, and it was going fast.

"Would you like to use my lighter?" Michael asked as he reached into his pocket. The girl slowly nodded before taking the lighter from his hand when he had retrieved it. The young woman swiftly lit the cigarette before handing it back to the man in front of her. She expected him to just be a friendly man and walk away but after she had puffed on her cigarette a few times, he was still stood in front of her. His hands were placed in his trouser pockets and he was leaning back slightly so he could get a better view. "I'm Michael Gray."

The girl looked at him before smiling. "Hannah Anderson. Thank you for the cigarette. Mine needs filling up with some gas but one of the..."

Hannah trailed off as she spotted Michael screwing up his face, which alarmed her, before slowly reaching up to wipe away some blood from underneath her eyes. "Busy night?" He asked, inspecting the traces of blood that were now on his shirt sleeve.

Hannah's eyelids dropped slightly as she thought about the baby that she had just delivered. It had been draining for everybody involved. It was her first time delivering a baby on her own without any help from other midwives, medics or trained nurses. A breach baby was not what she anticipated for her first time but when the baby eventually arrived into the world, and the sound of crying and screaming was heard, Hannah's own life became complete.

"You could say that," she chuckled, leaning her head on the cold brick wall behind her. Even though the cold weather was causing her to shake slightly, she did not feel the harshness. Her body was on fire with a mixture of enthusiasm and courage. "I delivered my first baby tonight, all on my own. It was breach and lasted a lot longer than it should have done but when I saw the baby in his mother's arms, his father proudly looking down and beaming, I knew that it was worth the agonising pain and fear. They named the baby Lucas, after the mother's father." Hannah did not know why she was chatting to the random man in front of her, but she was thrilled and wanted to share her story with someone. By the time she got back to the convent, all the other midwives would be fast asleep or with their own patients. "I'm sorry, I am just so excited and happy." she whispered with a little giggle.

Michael waved his hands in the air and smiled. "No, it's interesting. I'm glad that you are passionate about something because it's not very often you find that. Women nowadays rely on their husbands and the money that they bring in too much, it's nice to see someone that is independent." In Michael's head, the words sounded stupid as they fell from his mouth, but he was a nervous wreck for some odd reason and he couldn't take the words back, not now. A smile was plastered on Hannah's face as she sucked on the end of the cigarette.

"I guess I am very lucky. I'm sure that things will change one day, and women will be able to get jobs with no trouble." Hannah sighed before eyeing Michael up with concern. "What has happened to your face if you don't mind me asking?" Hannah reached up to run her finger underneath the cut. It was not too deep and could be treated at home, but it didn't stop her from being concerned. Michael looked guiltless in comparison to the other men that strolled around Birmingham but looks were deceiving and, she knew nothing about Michael and his background.

Not wanting Hannah to be put off, at least not yet, Michael came up with the best fib that he could think of when he was under-pressure. "Me and Isaiah, my friend, we were messing about and he caught me, it's no big deal."

Hannah didn't believe him, but she decided not to pursue her concerns. She had taken a liking to Michael in the short few minutes that she had known him and oddly, she did not want to think badly of him. From the injuries he had sustained, it was blatantly obvious that he had been in some brutal bar fight. "You should be more careful. It could have been a lot worse and you wouldn't want it to get infected because then you would be in big trouble. I believe I have some wipes in my bag that will help reduce the chance of infections, but it can be treated - "

"It's fine," he interrupted, raising his hand slightly. "You talk a lot," he said mischievously.

Hannah looked down in embarrassment before shrugging her shoulders. "I'm just so happy that tonight was successful. I didn't think it was going to end well but it did and I'm so thankful."

"I like that you talk a lot. It saves me having to do it and messing up." Michael laughed, his own embarrassment rising but Hannah was too in awe to notice. While Michael tried to compose himself, and regain the self-confidence that was lacking, Hannah was secretly trying to find another cigarette in her uniform pocket, so she could stay and chat for longer. "Have you lost something, Hannah?" Michael asked, his rough accent coming through.

"No, it's fine." Hannah threw the smoked cigarette on the floor before stomping her heel of her shoe on the glowing end. "It was nice to meet you, Michael Gray. Please go and clean up those injuries because it's ruining that face of yours."

"And it was nice to meet you as well, Hannah Anderson." Michael gave her quick nod before turning around to walk back only but quickly stopped himself and turned back to Hannah who collecting her bag from the floor. "I might bump into you again in the near future. My cousin has a habit of getting his wife pregnant every single year."

Hannah chuckled before licking her lips. "I  _will_ see you soon."


	2. tea + cake.

Breakfast was served far too early in Hannah's eyes. By seven in the morning, she had to be washed, kitted out and down the stairs in the unappealing midwifery uniform. Her roommate, Nurse Alexandra Hill, was a fashionable woman who in some way managed to make the God-awful uniform look rather eye-catching. The woman was up a while before Hannah almost every single morning as she wanted to look her best. Hannah, on the other hand, could not care about her looks and was often too exhausted to put on make-up and do her hair nice. By the end of the day, it would only be a catastrophic muddle anyway.

"How many hours sleep have you had?" Alexandra questioned as both her and Hannah strolled into the dining room.

"About five I would say," she replied before taking her seat across from Sister Maria. "The birth was problematic but me, mother and baby all got there in the end and we were successful. I am going to see Mrs. White today during my rounds so I can check on the baby then and see that he is still doing okay."

"Correct me if I am wrong but was last night the first time that you have delivered a baby with no one else present?" Sister Margaret asked. Sister Margaret was the leading nun who took charge most of the days. Out of all the nuns at the religious foundation, she was the one that nurses, midwifes and even other nuns could go to in time of need.

"Yes, that is correct. I just hope they aren't all like that." Hannah smiled at Sister Margaret before grabbing the plate that had a few pieces of toast on it.

"Some go very well, others don't. You will understand once you have a few more years' experience."

Hannah nodded before taking a bite of her toast. She had not been in Small Heath for long and was a newbie to the profession that she had adored since being a young girl. However, her thoughts about midwifery were being clouded by a certain Michael Gray. When she had arrived back at the convent, she had struggled to sleep as her main focus was on the handsome fellow she had met down an alley. It was not a romantic place to meet but then again, Hannah was not looking for romance.

Bringing up boys in front of the nuns would be risky in Hannah's eyes but she was enthusiastic to know more about the man. Out of everyone at the dinner table, the nuns were most likely to know something about Michael than any of the other midwives. The nuns had been in Small Heath for many years and they had quite possibly delivered Michael. If any of the other midwives knew of Michael then it would be through word of mouth, or their own relationship with the man. For all Hannah knew, Michael could be some random man that sought-after midwives in the dead of night.

"Does the name Michael Gray ring any bells to anyone?" Hannah asked. In her eyes, the question was innocent and should have not have raised any alarms but when Sophie, another midwife who lived in the convent, spat out of her drink and began to cough, Hannah knew that she had brought up a conversation that probably should have been kept buried. "Are you okay, Sophie?" Hannah asked, leaning across the table to look at the young woman.

"Perfectly fine," the young midwife answered, waving one hand in the air. "Perfectly, perfectly, fine."

Sister Maria was the scariest of the nuns but deep down, she had a heart of gold. The look that she was giving Hannah petrified her, but she could also see the concern. At that moment, Hannah was more anxious about Michael and what the issue was surrounding him. From her the short-time she spent with him, Michael seemed like an ordinary man. There were parts of him that puzzled Hannah such as the expensive suit as it was rare to see men that age dressed so smart but the blood on his expensive suit only contrasted what she had previously believed. No man that she knew would dare stain the luxurious and rich suits that they had obtained so this only augmented her inquisitiveness and yearning to know more about Michael.

"Is nobody going to answer my question?" Hannah asked fretfully, an anxious giggle leaving her mouth when she had finished the question that was sending waves of awkwardness throughout the dining room.

Alexandra coughed and lightly tapped Hannah on the shoulder. "Why are you asking about Michael Gray?"

Hannah looked around the room at everyone's concerned, and transparently bothered, glares before responding to the question. "I bumped into him last night and he offered me a lighter. We spoke for a bit and then we parted ways. I didn't realise that it was a problem..."

"It might be best to stay away from boys around here, you see. You've only been here a few weeks Hannah and there's a lot about these mean old streets that you need to learn before you throw yourself into the deep end."

"I wasn't planning on having a romantic relationship with him, if that's what you are implying. I spoke to him for no more than ten minutes last night, that is all." Hannah scoffed at the judgemental stares that were being directed in her way.

"I delivered him and his sister, that's all that needs to be said about Michael Gray and that family," Sister Maria said which ended the conversation right there.

Hannah looked at Alexandra for support, but she was met with a subtle nod which told Hannah that she should not pursue the discussion any further. The nuns and midwives had tried to shut down the conversation and if they spoke with bleakness, it would perhaps warn Hannah away from Michael, but their words and abnormal actions did the complete obvious. Her curiosity had strengthened, and she was now making it her assignment to know more about Michael, even if it caused friction in the convent.

"Right, everybody is on rounds today and I don't want no slacking. I also don't want anybody talking to random men while they are on duty," Sister Maria announced, breaking the silence but producing even more tension at the same time. "Everyone is to be out of here for eight, understood?"

The sound of chairs scrapping across the solid floor boomed throughout the convent as all the midwives hurried to get their bags ready for the day. Hannah loitered behind for a moment and looked at Sister Maria before smiling. "I wasn't on duty."

Sister Maria looked at Hannah with surprise but then smirked at her. "You will learn, one day and when you do, it will be too late."

+++

Hannah had never been one to believe in fate but when she spotted Michael Gray walking down the street in her direction, concentrating on some documents in his hand, she swore that she would never doubt destiny again. Hannah remained by the door of her patient who she had just quickly checked in on and waited uncomplainingly for Michael to notice her. Much to her disappointment, he walked straight past her, too devoted to the papers in front of him. Even though she did not want to come across as a lonely, young and desperate girl, she couldn't help but call his name when he was a few feet away from her.

"Michael Gray, we meet again," she said, smiling broadly.

Michael stood still in the middle of the street, his back to Hannah, before folding the papers in half and stuffing them in his pocket. "Hannah Anderson." Michael finally turned around and looked over at Hannah who was leaning against the wall. "What a pleasure it is to see you again. You look very beautiful in your uniform."

"I would return the compliment, but it isn't quite true," she teased. "It's nice to see you've cleaned your wounds. I must say, whoever cleaned them has some knowledge by the look of things."

"My mother cleaned them for me," he told her as he sauntered over until he was stood in front of her. "I got yelled at as well, felt like I was ten years old again."

"Why did she shout at you if it was an accident? I mean, you told me that your friend unintentionally hurt you." Hannah raised one eyebrow and Michael sighed, accepting defeat.

"Did you know that I was lying?" he asked, smirking to some extent.

"It was pretty obvious that you had been in a fight and the smell of whiskey was also noticeable. I couldn't help but notice that you flared your nostrils as well and that's a sign of someone being dishonest."

"You just know everything, don't you?"

"You would be surprised." Hannah looked down at her rota and saw that she had an hour spare before her next patient. "Do you care for a cup of tea, Michael?"

"I was just about to ask you the same thing," he replied, nodding towards the cafe that was visible from their place on the street. "How long do you have?"

"An hour but I will need to leave slightly early because of the distance between here and my next patient."

Michael pointed towards the cafe before walking in front, leaving Hannah to speedily check her environments to make sure that none of the other midwives were travelling the streets to get to their next patients. The worst-case scenario would be Sister Maria noticing Hannah and Michael together over a cup of tea. Hannah could effortlessly pass it off as two friends having a beverage together but none of the midwives or nuns would stand for it. There was obviously something about Michael that maddened them, but Hannah could not figure out what it was.

"Would you like milk and sugar?" Michael asked as he pointed towards a table that was unoccupied, motioning for Hannah to sit down. "And are you hungry? I can get you some cake or something."

"Just milk and no cake, I fear that it may come back up if I have any deliveries today," she answered with a quick smile before moving over to the table. The cafe was small and not very enjoyable, but it was hidden away on a working-class street and it was very rare that people entered the establishment. Hannah examined Michael as he ordered the two drinks and noted that as he waited for them drinks to be made, his hand slipped back inside of his pocket to retrieve the papers that he had earlier. When he returned to the table, two drinks in hand, Hannah smiled at her and quickly thanked him. "How much was it? I have some loose chapter at the bottom of my bag that you are welcome to have."

"It was nothing," he answered, stopping Hannah's movements, before pulling out two cigarettes. Michael handed one to Hannah and a lighter as well. "Tell me about yourself, Hannah. I am intrigued to know." Michael took the lighter from Hannah's hand once her own cigarette was successfully lit, his skin lightly brushing against hers.

"What do you want to know?" she asked as she flicked the ash into the ashtray that had been left on the table. "I'm not an interesting person, you know."

"Where did you grow up?"

"London. I was fairly fortunate to come from a good middle-class area. My mother was a stay-at-home housewife, but my father owned his own business and earned a lot of money from it. They weren't massively well off, not like some of the rich business men that you see driving around London, but we had enough to survive and money for pleasure as well."

"How did you pay for your education?" Michael didn't know why he was asking such intrusive and random questions, but he was panicking for some bizarre reason and wanted the discussion to remain strictly on Hannah. If she asked any questions about his own profession, or family, then the small, but special, thing they were sharing would be well and truly over before it had even begun.

"My grandmother left me a lot of money before she died of consumption and I paid for it that way. My mother and father were not happy about me getting an education and becoming a midwife and nurse, they have appallingly old-fashioned views. My mother seems to forget that women can now vote and have more rights than they did when she was my age," Hannah said, smiling softly. "They wanted me to marry some nice, rich and handsome man and become a housewife, but I had ambitions and dreams, always have done and always will."

"Most people want their children to do well in life, not stop them from doing what they love."

"If you met my parents then you would understand. I have not spoken to them since I started my training at The London. I think they might still believe that I am in London. Maybe I should write to them and let me know that I live in Birmingham now, but I think that will possibly send them over the edge." Hannah reached over and grabbed the lighter as her cigarette was no longer lit due to Hannah's non-stop talking. "Any more questions, Michael?"

"Why Small Heath?" Michael asked, pulling a face once he had finished. "You could have gone anywhere in the country or you could have been a nurse that lives in the houses of rich upper-class people but instead, you decided to come and nurse the people of Small Heath. I think it's rather remarkable yet strange."

Hannah sighed and leaned forward. "I am a nurse and midwife. I like challenges."

"You'll like me then," he joked.

"Is that your attempt at flirting?"

"Who said I was flirting?"

The corner of her mouth quirked up as she looked ahead at Michael. He was a beautiful man with features that could send any girl insane if they stared at him for too long but there was secrets and things that he was not willing to share in fear of losing people. Hannah had always been able to read people and understand what they were thinking but with Michael, it was virtually impossible. His lips were pressed into a hard line when neither one of them were talking, signalling that he was deep in thought. When he did talk, hardly any words left his lips and Hannah was the one who took the leading role in the conversations.

"I should probably get going. My next patient, Mrs. Jones, is quite the woman and she lives on the other side of Small Heath, so I need to get there on time." Hannah stood up before gazing down at Michael, a question lingering on her lips. "What do you do for a living, Michael?"

Michael stifled a laugh before answering. "I'm an accountant for my families' business. It's nowhere near as exciting as your job."

Hannah gave him a lopsided grin before rubbing him on the shoulders and leaving to deal with her next patient. Michael stayed behind in the cafe for a few moments longer, silently sipping on his tea as he thought about his mother, Polly, and how she would most definitely approve of Hannah.

+++

Hannah, Alexandra, Betty and Sophie were all sat in one of the bedrooms discussing their busy days as the other three nurses got ready for dancing. Hannah had planned to go with them, but Mrs. Jones had been grumpy for the whole time Hannah was there and she knew that it wouldn't be long before Mrs. Jones waters broke.

"Did you have a nice day, Hannah?" Sophie, one of the other midwives asked. She had arrived around the same time as Hannah and the two of them had stuck together ever since.

Hannah considered telling her friends about Michael but after breakfast and the awkward tension that had been brought into the room because of his name, she decided to stay silent. "Lovely," she answered.

Hannah was laid on the single bed with her arm covering her eyes. She felt nothing but exhaustion and slowly, her eyelids were dropping. The sound of music and laughter from the other midwives kept her away from slumber and sweet dreams but Michael also did that. His face was imprinted on her brain and she could not seem to forget the conversation that they had shared and the utterly pathetic attempt of flirting which she adored.

"And who's got you so loved up?" Alexandra was the next to speak as she pushed Hannah's leg up, so she could sit down on the bed.

"I am not loved up," Hannah argued, sitting up quickly and ignoring the look that Betty was giving her. Alexandra scoffed before looking at the other midwives for support. A smirk was playing on Hannah's lips as she laid back down on the bed, shifting around to get comfier. "What time will you all be back tonight?"

"Before midnight. I'm guessing you won't be in bed when we arrive home."

"She'll be too busy with the local - "

"Shush," Betty interrupted Sophie, silently hitting her arm. Hannah sat up straight and looked at both girls with confusion before turning her attention to Alexandra who was sipping on her drink. "Ignore Sophie, she's had a bit too much to drink already."

"No, I haven't." Sophie wanted to say more but once again, Butty hushed her before she could speak.

"The local what?" Hannah asked, her voice louder than normal. "What is so wrong with Michael?"

All three girls looked between each other as if they were mentally having a conversation with each other and poor Hannah was left out of the loop. Hannah didn't know what to think, she was so confused and couldn't wrap her head around the cryptic words that people kept saying to her. It was obvious that Michael was bad news and even though she had been intrigued before, at that moment, she didn't want to know as she feared it would be something truly awful.

"Well would you like at that, it's time to go. Good luck with Mrs. Jones, I delivered her first and she's a right pain in labour. Refused to lay down for me." Alexandra nervously chuckled before grabbing her back and walking out of the bedroom door.

"Have a nice night, Hannah," they all called out, but Hannah was barely listening.

She was annoyed and frustrated with everybody in the convent for keeping things from her. With nothing else to do until the phone rang, Hannah fell back on the bed in hopes that she would get a few hours' sleep before she was sent back out to work. The mystery surrounding Michael lingered in the back of her head for a while, but she soon drifted into darkness.


	3. esme shelby.

Sister Maria stared at the schedule in front of her and then back into the dining room where the midwives and other nuns were sat uncomplainingly waiting for breakfast to be served to the table. Hannah was laughing along at some anecdote that Sophie had said as she listened carefully to the stories about the previous night. The list of patients beneath Hannah's name did not worry Sister Maria until she came across the last name that had been scribbled at the bottom of the white page – Esme Shelby.

"Sister, are the rota's ready for today?" Betty asked as she supped on her warm morning cup of tea. Hannah picked up on Sister Maria's unsettling mood but didn't comment on it because she was not in the good books and needed to remain silent about the Michael issue in order to get back in them.

"Yes, here they are," Sister Maria finally answered as she walked back into the dining room and placed the rota's down in the middle. All she could do was hope and pray that Hannah would not bump into the disreputable Michael Gray. The midwives could not deny Esme, they had a duty to help everyone, but a midwife dating anyone connected to the gang would not look good and possibly ruin the unsoiled reputation that the nunnery had.

Hannah grinned as she grabbed the sheet, but her smile soon turned into a frown as she saw a familiar name – Mr. Maxwell. He was being treated for burns that he had sustained in one of the factories and even though he was Hannah's patient, she couldn't help but loathe the man. He was five years her senior, which wasn't too bad, but Hannah had no interest or feelings towards the bloke, yet he still felt the need to flirt with her whenever she went around to his flat to clean the injuries.

"Clinic is cancelled this week because of a flood at the community centre," Sister Margaret announced. Everyone groaned and pretended to be upset but secretly, everyone was excited about the extra few hours that they would get off work. "We tried to find somewhere else to hold clinic but sadly, we couldn't. If you see any new mums on your rounds today, then let them know that business will resume as usual next week. Did Mrs. Jones have the baby last night, Hannah?"

"Aye, she did. A little girl, born at about two in the morning," Hannah answered, once again proud of the fact that she was doing so well in the midwifery profession. Ever since being a young girl, this is what she had fantasised about and to know that she was being successful only enhanced her dreams.

"Was she a pain like I said?" Alexandra asked.

"No, she did rather well. I think she was more exhausted than anything and just wanted to get baby out of her." Hannah smiled and took another look at her rota while Alexandra and Sophie continued to chat about some women who had fell over while pirouetting. A name came to her attention, one that she was no familiar with. For a second, she thought it was a mistake as she had never treated a Mrs. Shelby before, but she shrugged it off. "I think I'm going to leave now because I need to go to the post office and to the shops. Does anybody want anything picking up while I'm down there?"

"Can you be a darling and pick me up some cigarettes? I'm running low and I have a day of running around today," Alexandra asked. Hannah nodded before telling Alexandra that she would meet her at lunch.

"We both have patients on Watery Lane today – "Alexandra quickly looked at the other midwives and sisters and shrugged her shoulders before glancing back over at Hannah who was placing her hat on the top of her head. She was completely unaware of the quick stare that everyone in the room, apart from her, had shared. "I will probably see you then."

Hannah nodded before waving everybody a good-bye. Things were still awkward in the convent and even more uncomfortable than her first day there. She tried to think of everything that Alexandra had told her about the streets of Birmingham, the men and the chinwag that could be heard throughout the street, but she couldn't remember Michael's name being mentioned which signalling to Hannah that he was nothing of reputation and just a normal young lad trying to get by in the world.

"Good morning, Nurse Anderson," someone said, as they hurriedly hurried past the young midwife with a pram and a few kids trailing behind – their moans and groans about school getting louder. Hannah did not know who she was but after being in Small Heath for a few weeks, she had become used to being valued around the streets. "Clinic open tomorrow?" She shouted, quickly stopping to look at Hannah.

"Clinic is cancelled, I'm afraid. If it's crucial, then you should nip and see the doctor." Hannah told her as she quickly walked over to the heavily expecting woman. "Can I see little one?"

"Of course," she responded. "Although I can't be long because I need to get the children to school before I have a mental breakdown."

"How old is he?" Hannah asked, referring to the slumbering baby in the pushchair. Hannah rubbed her thumb against the baby's cheek and chuckled as the baby moved his head from side to side.

"Just turned one a few weeks ago. I got pregnant a few months after he was born." The young woman sighed before shrugging her shoulders. "Not a lot I can do about it, is there? The hospital won't do anything to stop me getting pregnant... I don't even think they've invented remedies or surgeries to stop pregnancy."

Hannah nodded her head and smiled softly at the woman. "Your husband helps out, doesn't he?"

Esme narrowed her eyes at Hannah, believing for a moment that she was making a snide remark at John but when she saw the soft smile on Hannah's face, who was oblivious to the Shelby's reputation, she answered. "When he can. He's a busy man but he always tries his hardest to be there for me and the kids. Business sometimes gets in the way but it's not forever." The woman looked between Hannah and the kids before nodding towards the bus stop at the end of the road. "I really must go and get these kids to school. I'll see you soon, Nurse Anderson."

"And you."

+++

Hannah rolled her eyes at Mr. Maxwell as he repetitively asked her out for a few drinks at one of the local pubs. Each time, Hannah would courteously decline but her tolerance was wearing thin with the grovelling man in front of her. Hannah tried to take her time with injuries, especially when it came to burns as they became disease-ridden easily, but with Mr. Maxwell, she just wanted to get out of his flat as speedily as she could.

"How about one drink, Nurse Anderson?" he requested, smiling broadly as she wrapped the bandage around his leg. "I'll take you down to The Garrison."

"I don't know where that is, and I don't care to find out about the place. It's not very professional for me to go for drinks my patients but I'm sure you will find somebody in the future who will happily get drunk with you" Hannah tried to be as caring as she could, but it was wearing her down.

"Probably for the best. Everyone who enters that place, or goes anywhere near that family, end up corrupt or dead." Mr. Maxwell scoffed and aggressively pointed towards his injuries. "Or fucking burnt... not that they give a shit."

Hannah shook her head as Mr. Maxwell continued to rant on about some family, but she never picked up on the name and did not care to gossip. Hannah patted Mr. Maxwell's leg before looking up at him. "All finished. Is there anything else you would like?" Hannah asked, immediately regretting the question because she knew what was about to come.

"I'd like a date with you," he replied, a cocky grin on his face. "That's not going to happen though, is it?"

"I'm afraid not, Mr. Maxwell. I believe that Nurse Owen will be round at some point tonight to give you your medicine. Until then, I have to go and check on somebody else."

"Nurse Owen?" Mr. Maxwell sighed heavily but closing his eyes. "Her hands aren't as soft as yours."

Hannah looked down at Mr. Owen before shaking her head. "I'll see you soon, Mr. Maxwell."

"Not soon enough."

The next name of Hannah's schedule was Esme Shelby, the lady who she had never met before. Hannah had to quickly meet up with Alexandra, so she could give her the cigarettes that she had brought from the local corner shop earlier that morning. Hannah waited outside of a random house on Watery Lane for Alexandra who was being particularly slow. For wasting her time, Hannah took a couple of cigarettes from the box and kept them for herself.

"You alright, Nurse?" A voice asked from behind her. Hannah turned around and was met with a young lad who was not much younger than her, possibly the same age. "I'm Finn."

Hannah looked at Finn with confusion before smiling softly. "It's lovely to meet you, Finn." Hannah puffed on her cigarette before rolling her head to the side to look at Finn with a toothy grin. "Can I help you?"

"You can't help me, but you'll be helping my sister-in-law. She lives across there with me brother." Finn nodded towards one of the households on the street but to Hannah, they all looked the same. "Esme Shelby. She spotted you through the window and recognised you. Want's to know if you want a drink or anything."

Hannah chuckled before shaking her head. "Tell Mrs. Shelby that I am alright, thank you. I shouldn't be too long, I'm just waiting for somebody." Just as Finn was about to walk away, Hannah gripped Finn's wrist and pulled him back. "What's happened to your eye?" she asked, her protective and nurturing side showing.

"Got into a pub fight. Well, my friends did. I somehow ended up in the middle of it but left before anything serious could happen." Finn shrugged casually, as if it was a normal daily thing.

"When was this fight?"

"A couple of days ago, why?"

Hannah's breathing slowed down for a moment as she thought about Michael and how the two of them could have been involved in the same bar fight. Before she could interrogate Finn, a cough came from the other side of her and Hannah involuntary rolled her eyes. Finn stifled a laugh before mumbling a hello to Alexandra who was squinting her blue eyes at Hannah.

"Oh, she arrives," Hannah said, her voice laced with sarcasm. Hannah reached into her coat pocket and placed the cigarette box in Alexandra's outstretched arm. "I stole a couple because you were taking ages."

Alexandra looked down at Hannah with raised eyebrows. "Mrs. Jenkins was complaining about having to visit the hospital and I couldn't calm her down and then her husband came in and kicked up a fuss because I was apparently upsetting her. Anyway, why on earth was you talking to Finn Shelby?"

Hannah huffed and flung her arms in the air. "Can I not talk to anyone?" Hannah was not used to having people act so protective over her and she understood that people were worried, but they were acting ambiguous and keeping secrets by not telling Hannah anything about the people that she supposedly shouldn't be speaking too. If they continued to tell Hannah not to speak to Michael, then it would only encourage her to talk to him even more because she wanted to find out the mystery. Alexandra, Sophie and the other midwives would never understand the fascination that Hannah had with Michael. At that moment in time, even Hannah couldn't understand her own fascination, but it was all going to make sense one day, she could feel it.

"Finn Shelby was simply asking me if I would like a drink because I am about to go and check in on his sister-in-law," Hannah told Alexandra.

"Mm, well just be careful when you are over there." Alexandra paused before rubbing Hannah on the shoulder. "I have to go and deal with Mrs. Howard. I'll see you tonight for dinner."

"No, I'll be too busy down an alley," Hannah joked, referencing Sister Maria's comment from the morning before. Alexandra gasped before winking at Hannah. "See you later, Alexandra."

"Mrs. Shelby?" Hannah bumped on the front door and waited for the mum-to-be to answer the door. Usually, the nurses and midwives walk straight into the houses, but Hannah was too uncomfortable to do such a thing yet. With some patients, like the ageing, she had no choice and often felt as if she was being invasive but then again that was just the way that she had been brought up. "Oh, it's you."

"Nurse Anderson, please call me Esme and not Mrs. Shelby," Esme said, smiling tenderly. "Come in before you catch a cold. I'm sorry for being in such a rush this morning, I didn't even give my bleeding name." Esme rambled as she walked throughout the house.

"No, it's fine. You needed to get the kids to school," Hannah spoke as she looked around the house. Kids toys were placed around the room and Hannah had to be careful that she did not go flying on a wooden train. The house was not scruffy, it was just lived in. "Right, where would you be most comfortable? I can do it on the sofa or upstairs in your room.

"You can just do the checks on the sofa if you want. I'll just have to kick Finn out for a little while."

Finn was sat on the sofa in the living room, reading a children's book to the youngest baby when he spotted Hannah. "Do you want me to take the little one over to the betting shop, Esme?" Finn asked as he delicately picked the baby up from the Moses basket.

"Yes, please. If you see that bastard brother of yours then tell him to get over here because I need someone to pick up the kids later," she ordered as she waved her hands towards the front door. When Finn had left, Esme turned to Hannah and shook her head. "I can't bloody win, Nurse. If it's not the kids acting up and running rings around me then it's their bloody dad. Spends most of his time round at The Garrison than here but he tries, he truly does. Don't think bad of him..."

The mention of the pub made Hannah think back to her conversation with Mr. Maxwell. It was a possibility that the Shelby's were the family that he was speaking discourteously about but that was none of her business. Hannah's main concern was making sure that Esme was well, comfortable and that she was suffering no pains during her pregnancy.

"Why would I think bad of your husband?"

"It doesn't matter," Esme whispered, pleased that she was not being judged because of John or the other Shelby brother's.

"When are you due, Esme?" Hannah asked as Esme made herself comfortable on the sofa. A loud sigh left Esme's body as she placed her hand under one of the cushions, only to throw a children's book across the room.

"November 14th," she replied. "Last one was premature, Nurse. Nurse May didn't think that the baby was going to survive through the night, but he has Shelby blood in him and he pulled through. That kid is the light of my life."

"And are you getting any pains?" Esme shook her head, so Hannah continued. "Baby is in correct position and the heartbeat is strong and well." Hannah stood up from her kneeled position and moved Esme's clothing back down. "If you ever get worried, then you can call the convent and I will come straight out to you. Even if it's just the slightest pain, I will be here. Ring me in the early hours of the morning if you have too."

Esme raised one eyebrow and knelt up on her elbows. "Really?"

"Of course."

Esme sat back and smiled to herself. "None of the other nurses have said that to me. I don't think they care for me as much as the other mums because of my last name and whenever they come around to check up on the baby, they are gone as quickly as they arrived."

"I'll always offer you the best care that I can. It says in your notes that Nurse May is due to deliver your baby when the time comes but if you'd like, I can ask if I can do it instead," Hannah offered.

"Are you allowed to do that?"

"I can ask." Hannah removed the gloves from her hands and moved over to her bag. "Also, I don't care about your last name."

Before Esme could continue, the front door crashed open and a young gentleman walked in. "Who put that book there? Bet it was bloody Finn, am I right? Oh, hello, Nurse." A goofy grin was on his place as he held his hand out for Hannah to shake. "I'm John, Esme's husband."

"John Shelby?" Hannah asked before shaking his hand. "Nurse Anderson, it's a pleasure to meet you."

Esme's eyes lit up as she motioned for John to go over to her. "Everything is alright with the baby. Nothing to worry about and Nurse Anderson said that if we need anything, we can just call up the convent. She's also going to be the one who delivers this little one instead of Nurse May if she can get permission."

"Call you if we need anything?" John asked to which Hannah nodded. "Can you stop her getting pregnant?" John muttered but it was obviously that he was joking, earning him a punch to the arm from Esme.

"Only you can stop that, Mr. Shelby," Hannah teased as she continued to pack away her medical bag.

"I can't do that. Esme is too irresistible." Esme rolled her eyes at John's comment but chuckled along anyway. "Am I picking the kids up then?"

"Yes." Esme wrapped his hand around John's arm as she forced herself up. "Half three from outside of the school and don't be fucking late again."

+++

As Michael marched through the streets of Birmingham, a part of him was saddened at the fact he had not seen Hannah once. Every time someone rushed past him, with a bag in their hand or hair that looked remotely like Hannah's, he would turn around quickly and sigh quietly when he realised that it was not her. Isaiah was starting to become annoyed with his best friend's antics and distant mood. The two of them had hardly spoken to each other in the few hours they had been out and no matter how hard Isaiah tried to get Michael to chat, Michael was having none of it.

"Who's this lass that we are meeting tonight?" Isaiah asked as he flicked a cigarette to the ground. The two of them had made their way to Watery Lane where Arthur had asked his family, and close friends, to attend a family dinner.

"Her names Linda. Arthur is absolutely smitten by her, reckons she has changed him. He's started searching for peace by praying." Michael scoffed and looked down at the ground. "Wonder what his darling Linda would think if she knew that he had battered that lad last night."

Isaiah rolled his eyes and pushed Michael softly. "What's up with you? I'm going to drag Finn next time because you are being tedious."

Michael chewed on his bottom lip and continued to be quiet. He was almost ashamed at how infatuated he was with Hannah. The two of them had known each other for no more than a couple of days yet she was already ruining his life. No matter where he went, even if it was just across the road to John and Esme's, he would be looking out for her in hopes that they could have a quick chat. Isaiah would rip him to bits if he knew that Michael was obsessing over a midwife, as would the rest of his family.

"It's nothing, mate. I'm just fucking shattered," he muttered. "Let's get this fucking dinner over and done with."

Isaiah laughed before shoving Michael through the betting shop door. All the Shelby family and more were sat around a large table that Isaiah and Finn had stolen off someone's back garden for Arthur. Polly was rolling her eyes and leisurely smoking a cigarette as Linda spoke about God and redemption, Tommy and Grace were in a world of their own – most likely discussing business and Charlie as that's all the two of them seemed to do, Arthur was eyeballing the booze that he knew he couldn't drink in front of Linda and John and Esme were sat chatting baby things with Ada and Finn.

"Shall we just get out of here?" Michael whispered to Isaiah. Nobody had noticed the two of them enter the dining room and they easily could have snuck away but from the look on Isaiah's face, who was extremely amused with the sight in front him, Michael knew that he was going nowhere. Michael moved towards his mum and sat between her and Linda before she did something that would case Arthur to fall out with his Aunt. "Mum, it's nice to see you."

"Where have you been?" Polly hissed in his ear before giving Linda a quick smile. The gesture was not returned, and Linda instead turned her attention to Esme. "I don't want to hear bible verses as I try and eat my food."

"I'd be careful if I was you with."

"What do you mean?" Polly leaned back and raised one eyebrow.

"She's going to try and cleanse you of your sins." Michael wiggled his eyebrows and tried to hide the risking smirk that was coming onto his face. Arthur was anxiously looking around at everyone to check that they were all getting along with Linda and as much as Polly did not like the woman, she wasn't going to do anything that would upset Arthur so she lightly smacked Michael's arm to stop him from laughing.

"Yeah? Well, she would be there for a long fucking time," Polly murmured in his ear.

The conversation between Michael and Polly died down as Esme's voice raised higher than anybody else's. Baby chat was something that Michael did not want to involve himself with because it only reminded him of Hannah but when Esme began to speak about the new midwife who had visited Esme a few hours earlier, Michael perked up and engaged himself in the conversation.

"What was her name, Esme?" Michael asked as he sipped on his whiskey. Polly turned her head to look at Michael with a confused look, unsure of why her son was suddenly interested in midwifery before shaking her head.

"Nurse Anderson. She was very nice and did not seem to care that I was married to this bloody idiot who was late to pick his kids up... again." Esme dug her elbow into John's ribs and he jumped back before groaning.

"I'm not an idiot," John muttered as he rubbed the side of his body.

Michael detached himself from the conversation and looked down at the red tablecloth, a smile on his face. Polly quickly glanced over at her son before squinting her eyes. Michael simply looked at Polly before smirking.

"What are you so happy about?" she asked slowly.

"I'm just happy, mum."


	4. the clinic.

Hannah yawned noisily as she looked out of the window, taking in the view of Small Heath from the flat that she was currently in. It was late at night; the outside world was silent and lit due to the street lights. Inside of the flat was dim and full of yells as the first-time mum to be on the bed struggled to deliver the baby that had been growing inside of her for nine months. Moisture was building up around her forehead and cheeks, her face had turned a dark crimson and her knuckles were white due to the harsh grip she had on the bed sheets.

"Mrs. Connor, I need you to push as hard as you can, okay? Take deep breathes and it'll all come to you." Hannah's voice was raised high, so Mrs. Connor could hear her voice over the screams that were coming out of her mouth, as she held the poor woman's legs up high with her feet pressed against Hannah's chest, giving her the perfect view of the baby's head that had been born only moments before. "Not long now, love. I think that with one big last push, this baby will be out in no time."

"I can't do it," she bellowed, as she gripped the bed sheets in her hands.

"Yeah, they all say that, but they manage to do it. Just push for me, Mr. Connor and this baby will be out, I promise you."

It was gone three in the morning and Hannah could feel her eyelids slowly dipping as she clung onto the skin of Mrs. Connor. The poor woman had been in labour for over ten hours and the experience was becoming tiring and challenging for all involved in the act. The poor father had entered the room multiple times, only to go rushing back out when he saw the scene in front of him. Tea cups were distributed across the room, damp towels and hot water were sat waiting for when the little one decided to stop being so persistent.

"Come on," Hannah whispered as she gave Mrs. Connor a easy smile. "One big push and all of this will be over and done with. Forget about the agony and focus on your baby that will be here very, very soon if you listen to me." Mrs. Connor nodded and with one brash scream and an enormous push, the sound of a child crying and screaming boomed throughout the small one-bedroom flat and both the mother and Hannah let out of a sigh of relief. "A daughter, you have a gorgeous daughter."

Hannah quickly cut the cord and covered the baby into a soft towel to keep the her warm.

"I'm going to call her Louise. My husband said that if the baby was a boy, he would decide the name and if she was a girl, I would decide. So, she's being called Louise."

Hannah chuckled before gently passing the baby over to Mrs. Connor before she passed out from fatigue. Taking a deep breath, Hannah sat back on the bed and watched at Mrs. Connor grinned down at her baby. Even though the job was demanding, the prize was always satisfying.

"Are you going to have kids, Nurse Anderson?" Mrs. Connor questioned, still looking down at her baby but occasionally looking at Hannah who was watching the pair with admiration. She had nothing but respect for the mothers who dealt with the pain so well, no matter how gruelling it was.

"I have nobody to have children with but maybe, in the future. Right now, I am focused on delivering the babies of Small Heath."

"Well, someone needs to. Seems like everyone round here is getting pregnant at the moment."

Hannah chuckled before pulling up the blanket covering Mrs. Connors bottom half. "Right, let's go and introduce Louise to her father and then we can get this afterbirth out."

+++

Esme and Michael stared at each other from across the room for a solid few minutes before Esme gave up with the staring match and made her way over to Michael. He moved around in his seat before looking at Esme with begging eyes. Michael knew that it was clinic day and Esme had momentarily mentioned going so she could talk to Hannah. After an hour of trying to figure out how he could go unnoticed, Michael came to the conclusion that he had no choice but to ask Esme if he could come along with her.

"What do you want, Michael?" Esme asked as she sat on the desk at the side of him before folding her arms across her torso. "You've been staring at me for a long time and if anyone was to notice it, they would think that something is going on."

"There is something going on, just not with you. Just listen, if I tell you something then you must promise to not say anything to anybody. I don't want me mum knowing or John because if they knew then I would be ripped to pieces and I don't want to deal with their stupid jokes."

"Our little secret? I don't like secrets very much, Michael." Esme upstretched one eyebrow and considered what Michael had said for a few moments before nodding. "But, yes, I promise, as long as I don't get into trouble. Hurry up about it however because I need to go to the community centre in a minute. This little one has done some right kicking about in the last few days and I fear that labour is going to come early yet again."

"I know, and I need to come with you. Don't question it, just give me a straight answer because I can't be dealing with a million and one questions. Just a simple yes or no will do." Michael was feeling tremendously bad-tempered. He hadn't seen Hannah in over a week and worried that she had found out the truth about what he did for a living. Occasionally, he forgot that being a midwife was a challenging occupation and he felt selfish for wanting Hannah all to himself. However, he had a question to ask her and he couldn't spend another night thinking about it and freaking out.

Esme pulled a face before sliding off the desk. "And why would you want to come to clinic? Let me guess..." Esme trailed off and raised a finger to cheek before letting her mouth twist into a smirk. "It's something to do with Nurse Anderson. Don't think me and your mother didn't catch you smiling when her name was brought up over dinner the other day. You need to hide your feelings a bit better."

"What happened to not asking any questions but for your information, there are no feelings," he defended. "I'm just interested in midwifery and children." Esme wasn't stupid and could see right through Michael's dreadful effort at being dishonest.

"Have you got some random lass accidentally pregnant? If you have, then you best do something about it like putting a ring on her finger or at least tell your ma and not me."

"No, I haven't. Why do you always think the worst of me, Esme? You wouldn't ask Finn that question."

"Finn wouldn't be that stupid. This is all to do with Nurse Anderson, I am not a fool and stop being so mardy, it was only a question." Esme sighed before nibbling her bottom lip as if she was deep in thought. Michael looked at her with pleading eyes, mutely asking her for consent to come but also to not say anything to John or his mother. "Fine. We leave in five minutes. If anybody asks, your just there to help me because John is away on business. I don't want you causing a scene or making poor Nurse Anderson uncomfortable. God knows what the sisters would think if they knew that you and she were involved with each other."

Michael nodded. "We aren't involved with each other, not yet at least. She's just a friend."

"Well, don't go breaking her heart. She is the only midwife who has sincerely shown an interest in me and I can't lose her. What are you planning on saying to her?"

Michael leaned back before sighing. "I don't know," he fibbed, not wanting to declare the truth to Esme. Michael was already aware that his 'relationship' with Hannah would make it back to John one way or another. Esme was good when it came to guidance and helping people out, but she couldn't keep a secret, especially not from John. The two of them told each other everything and all Michael could do was hope and pray that John would keep his mouth closed and not tell Polly. If his mother was to find out, then it would only lead to him being sat down at the dinner table and interrogated about Hannah.

"Bullshit." Esme rolled her eyes before leaving Michael alone to quickly collect his things.

+++

It was very rare that Michael felt anxious when it came to girls but none of the girls that he had dated in the past had affected him like Hannah had. On the way to the community centre, he had strolled behind Esme, pointlessly smoking on cigarettes to calm his nerves, and tried to think of the different ways he would approach her but when he finally stepped foot inside of the old-fashioned room that smelt of children and sick, all his previous thoughts went out of the window.

Fortunately, no one took notice of Esme and Michael as they stepped inside of the room, all the of the mothers were too engrossed on their own children or the midwives that were there to support them. It took Michael a while to spot Hannah but when he did, a wide smile came onto his face. Esme shook her head at the loved-up boy before propelling him in Hannah's direction.

"I'll make sure that none of the nuns or other midwives see the two of you and if they do, I'll make up some excuse. I'm better at lying than you."

Michael quickly thanked Esme before making his way over to Hannah who was stood in the corner of the room with a clipboard. She looked up at the ceiling and let out a deep breath as she tried to calm herself down. Sister Maria had just told her that a hospital down in London were looking for nurses to look after one of the wards for a few weeks and Hannah had been nominated to go down if worse came to worse. It was all because of Michael. Hannah knew that and so did Sister Maria, but she couldn't make any remarks towards the older nun.

"Hannah." Michael's voice came out lenient and quiet and when Hannah didn't reply, he thought that she had not heard her name being called. Hannah, however, had heard everything and was stuck frozen in place. Her eyes quickly scanned the room and she thanked the lord that all the nuns were busy with other children.

"What on earth are you doing here?" Hannah hissed as she grabbed Michael by the forearm and dragged him towards a vacant cubicle. Michael looked startled and glanced back at Esme, but she was too focused on talking to another one of the mums. "If the nuns see you here then who knows what will happen to me. I'm already being quizzed every dinner time about where I've been and who I've been talking to. I'm not trusted to do anything anymore."

"Why?" Michael scrunched up his face before removing Hannah's hand from his arm.

"The morning after we met, I asked them over breakfast if any of them knew who you were. It was the worst bloody mistake of my life. No one is looking at me properly, I keep getting interrogated and to have you here will be bloody wonderful, won't it?" Hannah exhaled before rubbing a gloved hand over her face. It was extremely inappropriate, but Michael couldn't take her eyes off her and kept focusing on how pretty she looked in the nurse's uniform. "I'm sorry, I shouldn't have snapped at you. Still, why are you here?"

"Why does it matter that you mentioned me?" Michael already knew the answer to his own question. The nuns would never be supportive of one of their employees being seen with Michael, just like Esme had said. It was only going to be a matter of time before Michael's true self got exposed to Hannah and she would see what he was associated with - the business, his family, the beatings, the killings.

"I don't know," she said with a confused tone. Her voice was a lot softer as she looked down at the ground and began to play with the end of her pinafore. "You're quite the mystery, Michael."

Michael chortled at the remark before looking down at Hannah who had perched herself on top of the bed. "Don't listen to what they say. It's none of their fucking business."

"Sister Maria told me that she delivered you and your sister, that's the only information I got about you." Hannah paused and crumpled her eyebrows when she realised how outlandish that sounded as it came out of her mouth. "I'm not stalking you or anything. I was just inquisitive because I'd always been told that the men around Small Heath were peculiar. That came from Alexandra though, so I shouldn't have paid attention to what she was saying to me."

Michael raised his hands before chuckling. "No, it's fine. If you want me to be perfectly frank with you Hannah, I only came here so I could see you. I wanted to ask you out for dinner." Michael placed his hands in his coat pocket before looking around the small cubicle awkwardly. There was nowhere to run and if Hannah rejected his proposal, he would have no choice but to face the humiliation in front of her. "Whenever you are free, of course. I'm sure you don't have a timetable because babies come whenever they want." Michael gulped before turning away out of embarrassment. "I sound like a fucking idiot."

"No, not at all. Michael, I do have days off. My next one is on Friday, so we can go out for dinner then but that's only if you are free."

"Yeah, I'm free." Michael pointed towards the curtain. "I best be going back now. I don't want you to get into trouble and Esme will be waiting for me."

"I didn't know that you and Esme were related. Is this the woman you were on about when we first met?" Michael tried to recall what comment he made but that whole night had been a blur to him and he couldn't remember much. "You said that you have a relative who likes to get pregnant once a year."

Michael chuckled before nodding. "Yeah, that's Esme and John. Esme likes you a lot, spoke about you over dinner and everything so I'm guessing we will be seeing a lot of each other, even if the nuns and other midwives don't like it."

Hannah ignored his comment for a moment as she stood up and walked over to the opening of the curtain and shouted for Esme. "They can think what they want if I'm being honest. You've done nothing bad towards me, so I cannot judge you for past blunders."

"Will you judge me though?" Michael asked.

Hannah turned to look at him before shrugging her shoulders. "Like I said, you've done nothing to hurt or upset me. There's obviously more to you than I know but until I find out what it is, I'm not going to ignore you."

"Hannah, I've done bad things – " Michael was ready to tell Hannah the truth which would give her the chance to get out of the situation before she found herself in too deep but the rambling, and extremely nervous, midwife cut Michael off before he could continue with his confession.

"A few bar fights doesn't put me off. I got involved in a bar fight once but in my defence, the other woman started it first." Hannah laughed at the memory before grabbing some of Esme's notes. "Think of me as your personal nurse, Michael."

"It's not just a few bar fights though. There's – "

Before Michael could confess to the whole thing, Esme swayed open the curtain and smiled widely at Hannah. The two of them began to talk about the baby, all while Michael remained in the corner, uncertain of what to do. There was something special about Hannah and he admired her, but he did not want her to be dragged into the business and his way of living. The poor girl was unconscious to what Michael really did and a part of him felt guilty for that.

"Esme, I have some really good news," Hannah broadcasted as she smoothed out the blanket on the bed. Esme scowled at Michael for a few moments before he got the hint and left the cubicle, leaving the two girls alone. He feared what Esme was going to say as he knew what she was like. As he left, Hannah gave him a soft smile.

"I'll pick you up from the convent at seven," he said, overlooking the smile that was growing on Esme's face. "And I'll wait for you outside, Esme."

"What's this good news?" Esme asked as she hiked her dress up. "Is it something to do with you and our Michael?"

Hannah acknowledged the last question with a roll of the eyes but answered the first one with eagerness. "Sister Margaret has given me permission to be your midwife when you go into labour. So, when things start moving along, send John down to the local phone box and tell him to ask for me."

"Should I make sure that Michael is lingering about as well?" Esme asked in a teasing tone.

"No, I don't think that's needed." Hannah tried to act like she was playing along but her bright red cheeks gave everything away. Esme only sighed softly before laying further back on the bed. "Let's see what baby is up to then."

+++

Isaiah was sat across from Michael, a cigarette in one hand and a glass of whiskey in the other. After spending the last week spent in the company of Michael and his unpredictable mood swings, he had finally managed to get Michael on his own, so he could question him. Finn had tried only a few days before to find out what was wrong with his cousin, but Michael had immediately shut him down and used the awful excuse that he was just exhausted.

"Who is she?" Isaiah asked, gently kicking Michael underneath the table so he could get his attention.

Michael looked over at Isaiah with fake confusion on his face. "What are you on about?"

"Don't try and kid me, Michael. There's some girl in your life and you can't stop thinking about her. Are you having some girl trouble?"

"There is no – "

"You're lying."

"No, I'm not."

"I'm supposed to be your best friend."

"She's a midwife, alright?" Michael was through with Isaiah and Finn's endless questions. The chat that him and Hannah had shared earlier on in the afternoon made Michael feel slightly better about telling his friends the truth, but he still couldn't get the little things out of his mind.

"And you like her?"

"No, I fucking hate her," he answered sarcastically. "Isaiah, why wouldn't I like her? She's interesting, funny and we get along, but she knows nothing about me. Hannah thinks that I get involved with bar fights and that's it. She knows nothing about the business and what we do. It's only going to be a matter of time before someone tells her the truth and that means that everything will be fucked up. She's a respectable girl with a good job and she won't want to mess that up for somebody like me."

"You don't know that. She might think it's attractive that you are some bad boy." Isaiah wiggled his eyebrows but stopped when Michael threw a pencil in his direction.

"I do, Isaiah." Michael narrowed his eyes as his friends attempt at being amusing.

"Just tell her the truth then before somebody else does. You know what people like here are round, they gossip and say shit. If you tell her the complete and honest truth than she will probably respect you and forget about everything. If it comes from somebody else, then..." Isaiah trailed off and clicked his tongue for the effect. "She'll probably hate you."

"You aren't helping at all. I tried to tell her today, I was ready to admit to everything but then Esme interrupted, and I didn't know what to say so I just left. We are meant to be going out for dinner on Friday, but I don't want to waste her time."

"Just don't say anything then. It's not as if you've done anything bad, is it? Arthur, John and Tommy deal with the murders and the illegal side of the business. Right now, the business is on its way to becoming fully legal so maybe just leave it for a slight while. If someone says something, then just defend yourself." Isaiah groaned before throwing a cigarette towards Michael who looked like he desperately needed one. "Look, I don't know. I haven't been in this situation before. If I was you then I wouldn't say anything but that's me. Your just probably worrying about nothing."

Michael sighed, not at all satisfied with his friends attempt at advice. "Just got to see what happens on Friday, I guess."


	5. revelations.

With a hop in her step, Hannah ran straight up to her bedroom, so she could start getting ready for her dinner date with Michael. It had been over three days since he had asked her out at the clinic and keeping it a secret was becoming unbearable. If she was back in London with her childhood friends, then she would have been shouting and raving about her date with a handsome boy from the rooftops, but Hannah couldn't deal with the judgement that she would face from the sisters and other midwives. However, Alexandra, Betty, Sophie and Jodie were not stupid, and they could see right through Hannah's performance. No matter how hard she tried to keep her eagerness controlled, there will still a glowing smile on her face whenever she thought about Michael and the activities they would get up too.

The sound of some jazz music softly played throughout the small bedroom that held nothing but two single beds and two chests of drawers. It wasn't much but it was what Hannah considered home. Hannah was near the front window which she was thankful for in many ways. After coming back from a long and gruelling delivery, she would sit at the window and watch the children play with their friends, the factory workers making their way to work and mothers rushing around all while she sat back with a glass of some cheap wine that Alexandra had brought back from one of the local shops. The wine was usually vile, but Hannah didn't have the heart to tell Alexandra who had politely gifted it to her.

"Where are you going tonight?" Alexandra asked as she skimmed over an article in a fashion magazine. Betty and Sophie were sat on Alexandra's bed, both speaking about their day but when they overheard Alexandra ask the question that had been playing on everybody's lips ever since they had arrived back home, their conversation was cut short. "I mean, you look lovely, so it must be with someone very important. Is it a date?"

"No, it's not a date, Alexandra. I'm going to meet an old friend of mine from London. She has some cousins up here and has somehow managed to find the time to invite me out for dinner at one of the new restaurants that's opened on Dark Lane. It's my night off and I couldn't exactly say no now, could I? I haven't seen her in many months and I missed her wedding which I don't think I'm full forgiven for." The deceits fell naturally from Hannah's lips, a series of prearranged untruthfulness, that she had been ready to share since the moment she walked into the room and saw all three girls on the bed. A part of her felt guilty for lying to her closest friends but she couldn't risk having the sisters find out about her private escapades with Michael Gray. It would only lead to unnecessary trouble that could easily be kept hidden.

Somewhere during Hannah's thoughts, Jodie had entered the bedroom and was sat at the end of Hannah's bed with a cup of tea in her small and petite hand. She had just arrived back from a troubling birth and was ready for bed, but Jodie was curious and wanted to know if Hannah was really going to see Michael like all the other girls had speculated. Betty gave Jodie a funny look, which Hannah caught in the corner of her mirror and within seconds, all of the girls were laughing hysterically to themselves. Hannah whipped her head around and looked at the other midwives with confusion and annoyance.

"What's your friends name?" Betty asked once her loud laughter had calmed down a little. However, as soon as she repeated the second question, the sound of Betty's laugher filled the air once more. "Michael Gray, is it?"

"Oh, bugger off, Betty." Hannah tossed the hairbrush in Betty's direction before chuckling along with her. "I believed that I was a decent deceiver. Clearly, I was very mistaken."

"Bless you, Hannah. We've all known for a few days now that you were going to see Michael tonight. If you and he are going to continue to meet up in secret, then tell him to not turn up at the clinic. You are tremendously fortunate; do you know that? If Sister Maria or Sister Margaret had seen him there then you might possibly have been out of a job," Jodie warned. Although she came across as demeaning, Hannah knew that she didn't mean it. Out of all the midwives, Jodie was the sweetest who cared for her friends deeply and she did not want to see Hannah broken-hearted over Michael.

Hannah tightened her lips before turning around so she was facing the rest of the girls. "I don't want you all to think bad about me or start having a go at me because of this but yes, I am going out for dinner with Michael. I completely understand that Michael isn't everyone's cup of tea because of the bar fights he gets into but surely one day, we could just overlook that. It's a few bar fights, nothing major. You all made me believe that Michael was some dreadful man and had me worrying for no reason at all."

"Hannah." Alexandra moved nearer, her eyes flashing with concern. "It's not just a few bar fights that Michael has been involved with, it's way worse than a few bar rights, I promise. Is that what he's told you?" Alexandra placed both of her hands-on top of Hannah's and gave her a heartening smile. "This is Michael Gray that we are talking about, not some drunken man who drinks too much because he cannot handle his drink and then ends up saying something that he shouldn't say. Michael is a dangerous man, darling."

Hannah tilted her head to the side and muffled a giggle. "Dangerous? I think dogs are more dangerous than Michael. Where are you getting this from?" Hannah was trying to act confident and stick up for Michael, but her voice was trembling, as were her hands. She knew that this time would come sooner or later, the time when she would find out the truth about Michael and what he did for a living, but no amount of overthinking could have prepared Hannah for what she heard next. The past week of snide comments, endless puzzling messages and not telling the truth was finally going to make sense.

"You haven't been in Small Heath for long, so we couldn't have expected you to know about The Peaky Blinders."

"The Peaky Blinders?" Hannah chuckled. "What on earth is that? It sounds absolutely ridiculous."

"The Peaky Blinders are a gang. Many men around Small Heath work for them as do the police, it's why they get away with everything that they do. The Shelby family run the gang, you see."

Betty sat forward and leaned across the bed. "Have you seen that burnt down pub? It's a few streets down and it's been vacant for about a year now. Sometimes, you see the kids running in and out of it so see if there's any leftover junk that they can try and sell for a bit of money." Hannah nodded as she recalled seeing it a few times on her journeys, but she had never paid it that much attention. The fire had happened way before she had arrived at Small Heath and was no concern of hers. "Michael and his cousins burnt the pub down. Apparently, one of the workers or somebody who was just drinking there, I don't know the exact facts, was racist towards his friend and a fight broke out. Next thing you know, the whole pub is on fire and the owner is dead."

Hannah squinted her eyes as she tried to think of some excuse for Michael's behaviour, but she was finding it tough. She felt as if her world had come crushing down around her. This is what she had been waiting for, the truth. Now that it was out in the open, she wanted to erase it from her memory completely and keep her image of Michael clean. "Well, that man shouldn't have been racist. I'm sure a lesson was learnt."

"Hannah, the man ended up bloody dead. I don't even know if he made some comment towards Michael's friend. Can you not see that these people don't care about anyone but themselves?" Alexandra's voice was harsh and stern, yet she tried to be comforting as she believed that she was doing this for Hannah's own good. "Do you know what Michael does for a living?"

Hannah nodded. "Yes, he's an accountant for his family's business. I think that's a good job for such a young man and it shows that he is intelligent and has a good future ahead of him."

"The only reason he has a good future ahead of him is because the Shelby family made their way to the top by doing illegal activities Has he told you that his family murder people?" Hannah shook her head. "No, I didn't think he would. Ask anybody around here and they will all tell you stories about The Peaky Blinders. It was only a few years ago that they shot another man in the middle of the street. They had army guns and everything, stolen army guns may I add. I was more angry at the fact that they made a complete mess of the street and I found it very difficult to get to Mrs. Lane who was about to give birth to her first child all on her own. The poor sod."

"Let's not forget Inspector Campbell. One day he was hanging around the streets, trying to get The Peaky Blinders erased from Small Heath, the next he had disappeared. Turns out, Inspector Campbell was shot at the race course, but nobody knows who did it. Weirdly enough, The Peaky Blinders were at that exact same race course on the same day." Jodie raised both eyebrows and looked around the room, acting as if she was the next Sherlock Holmes.

"You are all just listening to rumours and gossip and it's not healthy to do that..." Hannah trailed off before looking at the dress that was hung up on the door. She had brought it especially for her date tonight. Michael had only seen Hannah in her uniform and she wanted to make an impression. However, as Hannah looked up at the dress, she felt nothing but unhappiness and disappointment. "Has Michael murdered anybody?" It was a risky question and Hannah wasn't sure if she wanted to know the answer to it.

Alexandra shrugged her shoulders. "Who knows? I delivered one of Esme Shelby's babies and I spotted at least three guns around the house during my short time there." When Alexandra noticed Hannah's saddened features, she decided that tough love was not what Hannah needed but she was sure going to get it. "The whole family is destructive. Look, Hannah, I'm not saying that Michael is a bad person because - "

"You are," Hannah interrupted. The words came out harsher than Hannah had anticipated but she was frustrated with everything and everyone.

"No, I'm not. I don't know Michael very well but every person around Small Heath knows about the Shelby family. They will all tell you different stories about the gang and the things that they have done. I spoke to one mother and her son was brutally killed in a boxing match. Arthur Shelby beat him so badly that they couldn't even recognise his face," Alexandra told Hannah.

"Must have been a sporting accident," Hannah mumbled before downing her beverage in one go, hoping that it would calm her nerves.

Hannah turned around to continue with her make-up, ignoring the groans that came from all the girls. There was a feeling in her stomach that she had not felt since she had seen a young girl die of the Spanish flu - pain, hurt and disappointment. Hannah should have prepared herself, she knew that Michael was a dark horse but as she learned more about Michael and his way of living, she just felt sick to her stomach. No amount of excuses could get rid of what the Shelby family had done.

"Why are you defending him?" Jodie asked. Even if she was the kindest woman at the convent, she wasn't doing anything to hide her revulsion.

"I'm not defending Michael but if I am being completely honest, he has done nothing wrong." No matter how hard Hannah tried to put up a front, the other midwives could see the walls tumbling. Hannah's voice was no longer strong but now unstable and full of doubt. "Is there anything else I need to know? There is a dress up there that it dying to be put on."

"Are you actually going to go on this date with him?" Betty asked with her mouth open in shock at her friend's stupidity.

"I don't know." Hannah raised her hands in the air before letting out multiple slow and steady breaths. "I really do not know, alright? His family have made mistakes and I shouldn't judge him."

"He has made mistakes himself. Are you going to risk your job for one boy? It might not even work out between the two of you," Sophie finally said. She had stayed quiet for most of the conversation, only pulling a few facial expressions when she agreed or disagreed with something.

"She has a point. If any of the sisters found out about you and Michael, then they would go categorically crazy. It just wouldn't look good for the convent and I know this is bad to say but people won't want to have you as their midwife."

"Well, that's their problem. Isn't it? I do my job to help these women and if they are going to be rude and act funny around me because of the person that I am seeing then that is their fault, not mine. Now, if you'll excuse me, I really do need to get ready for my date tonight."

Hannah turned back to face the mirror, but she had made no movement and instead, stared at her reflection. Not one part of her would admit it to the other girls but Hannah was considering cancelling her date with Michael. Some lame excuse would easily get her out of the date, it was just getting in contact with Michael.

"Hannah." This time, Alexandra's voice was harsh. Hannah turned to look at her, taking in a deep breath beforehand so she could prepare for the lecture. "Is this something that you want to do?" Before Hannah could reply with another fib, Alexandra placed her hand in the air. "And don't think about lying to me otherwise I will make you clean clinic next week and possibly the week after."

"That's if she's still here."

"Alright, Betty." Hannah scoffed at her friend's idea of a joke. "And I don't know, Alexandra, I really don't. I don't want to lose my job or my patients."

Alexandra didn't get the chance to reply as Sister Maria forcefully pushed open the bedroom door. After pulling a disgusted face at the alcohol and cigarettes that were littered around the room, Sister Maria pointed at Hannah. For a moment, Hannah thought that her secret had been uncovered and that she was going to be sent to Sister Margaret's office where she would be dismissed from the convent instantly.

"Esme Shelby is on the phone."

+++

Michael watched Esme closely as she dialled the phone and waited to be put through to the convent. For some bizarre reason, Michael had an odd feeling in his stomach that didn't sit well with him. Esme was the only person he could go to as the date was still on the down low and his family were still ignorant to it. Luckily for him, no one had made any comments about Michael and Hannah, so Esme was sticking to her promise, for the time being.

"Sister Maria." Esme turned her head towards Michael and rolled her eyes. "I need to talk to Nurse Anderson, if she's not busy, it's extremely urgent." Esme tapped her foot against the floor and quickly glanced out of the office window to see that everyone was occupied with other business. "Yes, I can wait."

Michael quickly switched seats with Esme and waited with his phone to his ear. He tried to calm himself down during the short minute he spent in silence but was finding it impossible. Michael looked back at Esme and motioned for her to pass him a cigarette and a glass of whiskey.

"Here." Esme passed him the drink and cigarette before moving to lean on the table with her arms crossed. Secretly, she was rather excited about the idea of Michael and Hannah going on a date, but she would never allow Michael to know that.

"Esme, is everything alright?" Hannah's voice was full of worry and Michael found himself smiling to nobody but himself when he heard Hannah's voice. "Esme, are you there?"

"Oh, sorry. It's me, not Esme. She's completely fine, as is the baby." Michael quickly shook of his worries and sat up straight. "I had a bad feeling about tonight, Hannah. Just wanted to check up and see if dinner was still on."

Hannah left out a sigh of relief before speaking to Michael. "Tell Esme that I am cross with her. I've never ran down the stairs so quickly. You both had me thinking that something was wrong with the little one."

"No, no, she's fine." Michael nodded his head towards the door and with an angry stomp, Esme left the two of them alone to talk over the phone. "So, am I still alright to pick you up in an hour?"

There was a long pause which only made Michael more nervous. "I can't, I'm so very sorry. Nurse Barnes has fallen ill, and someone needs to deliver the babies of Small Heath tonight. Can't just leave the mothers on their own."

Hannah looked down at the ground in shame, embarrassed and guilty for leading Michael on only to dump him because she feared what other people would think. The midwives would be over the moon with the fact that Hannah was no longer going out to see Michael, they wouldn't even take her own feelings into consideration. There was also the worry that Hannah would get dragged into Michael's corrupt world and that was the last thing that she wanted.

"No, it's fine."

Michael was glad that Hannah could not see him at that moment. His face was bright red and for the first time in his life, Michael felt hurt because of another girl. He wasn't an idiot and he knew that the other midwives who lived at the convent would have something to do with Hannah's sudden change of heart.

"I am sorry, I really am." Sincerity filled Hannah's soft voice which soothed Michael a little bit, but he still felt like fool. "Maybe another day, ay?"

"Yeah, that's fine. Let me know when you are free, and we can arrange something. Until then, I'll probably see you out and about."

"Not until next Friday, I'm afraid. Sister Maria is sending me down to London on Sunday for a few days. At first, she wanted me to go down for a few weeks, but I managed to get out of that somehow."

"Right, I'll see you then."

"Maybe."


	6. questioning.

Since dropping out of the date with Michael days before, Hannah had been keeping herself busy with whatever work came up. Sister Maria had decided not to send Hannah to London, thankfully, because of her distant mood that had everybody concerned. They knew that it was something to do with the alluring gentleman that had a bad rep around Birmingham but for once, they decided not to speak about matter in front of her. Instead, they chattered about Hannah's love life behind her back as they tried to figure out what they could do in order to make sure that she got back to her normal self.

Even though Hannah had been busying herself with work, she had still been cautious of the streets in Small Heath. Hannah had started to check every corner that she turned before she walked down the road, hoping that Michael wouldn't be lingering around and catch her deliberately ignoring him. It would only mean that she would have to explain her sudden need to not be around him and Hannah didn't know if she had the courage to explain the truth. It was almost pitiful, she had promised him that she would not judge him when she found out the truth yet here she was, condemning him for his families' actions. Hannah didn't know the truth either, she had listened to her peers and made a judgement which was awful, but Hannah could not go back in time and she could not change Friday night, even if she wanted to do so. Now, she was stuck in a lie that would eventually come back around and knock her down to the ground.

The sound of the receiver ringing could be heard throughout the convent, earning a few groans from the midwives who were trying to enjoy their Monday lunch. Betty looked at Hannah with a sickly-sweet smile on her face, gesturing for Hannah to go and answer the telephone. A soft groan left Hannah's before she placed her half-eaten sandwich on the plate and strolled towards the small hallway where the telephone was positioned.

"Midwife speaking," Hannah started, as she waited for the nervous father to shout down the phone to Hannah. Over the few months she had been at Small Heath, Hannah had become used to hearing the concern in men's voices and their inability to speak as the sound of the mothers screaming and shouting in the background could be heard.

"I need to speak to Nurse Anderson, it's John Shelby."

"Yeah, that's me. What's wrong, John?"

"I need you to come around as soon as possible. Our Esme is panicking more than anything, thinks the baby is coming and she keep getting these pains. I'm fucking useless and I don't know what to do," John said, his voice surprisingly calm but Hannah could hear the concern start to show as he finished his statement.

"I thought you would've been used to this," Hannah joked before turning serious. "I'll be there in ten minutes. Make sure she's comfortable in bed and get some fresh towels ready."

John made a noise of acknowledgement before slamming the telephone down, so he could get back to his wife who was crying out in pain. Hannah ran quickly into the room which held all the medical equipment and medicines before grabbing her bag which was unpacked.

"Where are you going?" Alexandra questioned as she walked into the medical room. A sandwich was in her hands as she grabbed a towel for Hannah.

"Esme Shelby has gone into labour, I believe, and I need to get over there as soon as possible. If there were complications with the last one, then there's a chance there will be with this baby as well. Can you cover my district rounds this afternoon?" Hannah asked as she rushed around like a mad woman to get everything packed. Hannah was grateful in that moment that she didn't live that far away from where John and Esme lived.

Alexandra nodded as she helped Hannah pack a few things. "Of course. I'll let Sister Margaret know where you have gone and if she makes any comment about you-know-who, I will put her straight in her place."

Hannah quickly smiled at Alexandra before grabbing her bags and rushing through the halls of the convent. The adrenaline of delivering a baby was always something that scared Hannah, yet she adored the feeling. Midwifery was a beautiful occupation - Hannah got to see a baby start their own journey, husbands and wives become mothers and fathers for the first time and with every delivery, she found herself becoming more self-aware about life and what came with it. There were difficulties, trauma and a lot of pain but in the end, it was the most wonderful thing that she had ever seen.

After running for ten minutes, silently cursing the shoes that she was wearing, Hannah was finally outside of Esme and John's house and fortunately for Hannah, Michael was nowhere to be seen. It had crossed her mind during the run that she would see Michael and a feeling of dread made itself known in her stomach, but she put the thought away and focused on Esme who was the most important person in that situation.

Instead of waiting for John to come to the door, Hannah walked straight in. On the stairs, sat about five kids who looked bored and uninterested with the commotion that was happening in the next room. One of the girls smiled at Hannah before pointing towards the living room door where the desperate cries of Esme could be heard.

"My mummy is in there and so is my daddy," she mumbled before leaning forward to admire Hannah's medical bag and uniform.

"Thank you. Would you like my hat to play with?" Hannah took the red hat that she was required to wear off her head before handing it to the young girl who was more than pleased with the gift.

"Nurse Anderson, is that you?" Esme shouted causing Hannah to laugh.

"I thought I told you to get her into bed, John," Hannah said once she had entered the room. John looked around in a panic before shrugging his shoulders and pointing to his crying wife. "Esme, should we check you out, love?"

Esme moved her head up and down before pushing herself further up the sofa. She was resting on her elbows with her knees spread apart. "John, go and take the kids over to the betting shop. I don't want to traumatise them again."

"Yeah, yeah." John rushed around for a second, grabbing a few books and pens before sweetly kissing Esme on the forehead. "Right, it's time to go and annoy Aunt Polly for a bit," he said to the kids before the sound of the front door slamming shut could be heard throughout the house. 

Hannah smiled comfortingly at Esme before sitting at the end of the sofa and putting her gloves on. "Are you having contractions then?" she asked, hoping to distract Esme as she placed her hand underneath the blanket that was covering Esme's bottom half.

"I think so. They are irregular though, so I don't know if this is a false alarm but I'm panicking because I don't want a birth like last time. I don't want to end up in the hospital or maternity home again because I'll come back home to a fucking - "

The sound of Hannah's giggling cut Esme off and she looked down at Hannah with her eyebrows furrowed and her lips pursed. "What's wrong?"

"Nothing is wrong at all, I promise you. What you are suffering from is a thing called Braxton Hicks, it's nothing to worry about." Hannah removed her hand from in between Esme's thighs and closed her eyes slowly. "This little one is giving you the run around I'm afraid. I would expect these pains for the next few weeks until your baby is actually due."

Esme let out a sigh of relief before falling backwards on the sofa with one arm covering her forehead. "Jesus, I've made a right idiot of myself and I've dragged you away from work when you could be dealing with somebody who is actually in labour."

Hannah frowned before taking off her gloves. "Don't be daft. I told you, I'm always here if you are worrying about anything because it's my job to look after you. I can also arrange to take the children to school if you need me too. I'm fed up of seeing you rush towards the bus stop every single morning, it's not good when you are nearly nine months pregnant."

Esme chuckled before shaking her head. "That's very nice of you but I have it covered. Michael has agreed to take them and pick them up until further notice."

Hannah looked down at the carpet at the mention of Michael's name and did her best to divert her eyes from Esme. It was blatantly visible on Hannah's face that the mention of Michael's name had wounded her, and she couldn't be dealing with questions about Friday night and why it didn't go to plan. "Are you okay now?" she asked, hoping it would change the subject.

"I just worry a lot," she answered, not commenting on Hannah's sudden change of the mood. "I think John does as well, but he won't admit it."

"I'm not surprised after last time but it's best to remain calm in these situations because your blood pressure will go straight through the roof and we don't want to be dealing with that because it will make things worse." Hannah moved the blanket back down and over Esme's body to cover her bump and legs.

"How is she?" John asked, as he rushed into the room. When he walked up the street, he was met with no screams or cries, panicking him immediately. Hannah could tell that he cared deeply for his wife and children,

"Very well, actually. It was just a false alarm, nothing serious," Hannah told him with a grin on her face, trying not to laugh as Esme shook her head to hide the embarrassment.

"Everything is okay then? The baby, Esme..."

"Yeah, they're completely fine. If anything happens again, big or small then you should do what you did today and call the convent instantly. I'll be out here as quickly as I can."

"Would you like a drink, Nurse Anderson? Tea obviously. We don't want you drinking on the job now, do we?" Esme asked as she sat up slightly before falling back down in exhaustion.

"Oh, no. I must get back soon because I can do my district rounds now that you're fine. However, I recommend a nice cup of tea and a hot bath to calm you down after your little panic. I'm sure John can sort that out for you, can't he?"

"Erm, yeah. I bet just nip across the road though because Polly said that she was going to have the kids tonight but there's no need now, is there? I'll be about five minutes."

"John, do you think your Aunt would have them anyway? It would be good for Esme to have a good night's sleep and some peace and quiet before baby arrives," Hannah suggested before John could leave.

"Is that what you want?" John asked, directing the question towards Esme.

"Yeah, it'd be lovely," she answered with an easy-going smile, watching as John rushed back out of the house to beg his Aunt to have the kids for the night even though a baby wasn't going to be born anytime soon. The thought of being alone for the night with no kids screaming made Esme even more sleepy as she thought about the slumber that she would be having later on. "Are you sure you don't want a cup of tea, Nurse Anderson? I think it's the least I can do after dragging you away from your lunch."

Hannah looked at the clock that was hanging above the mantlepiece in the living room before nodding her head. "Well, I'm sure I can manage to get one drink down me before district rounds start. I will go and boil some hot water and you will put your feet up and relax."

As soon as Hannah had made her way into the kitchen, Esme shouted out some words that Hannah did not want to hear. "Michael should be coming over soon. You never know, you might see him again."

"Oh." Hannah was stood with a pan in her hand, thankful that Esme could not see her bright red cheeks. "What time is he coming over?" Hannah tried to keep her voice steady but with every word, it began to shake more because of the nerves.

"I have no idea if I'm being honest." The sound of paper flicking could be heard, signalling to Hannah that Esme was distracted by the morning newspaper. She tried her best to concentrate on the boiling water in front of her, but she was finding it impossible. "He hasn't been in the best of moods since you ditched him on Friday. Why was that?" Esme groaned as another fake contraction passed through.

Hannah gulped before chuckling nervously. For a moment, she panicked as she tried to remember the excuse she had come up with on the spot but when it came back to her, she shouted the statement rather quickly in hopes it would shut down the conversation and stop anymore awkward tension. "Nurse Barnes fell ill with the sickness bug and I had to cover her shift. The poor girl was up all night being sick and she had a fever."

Esme hummed at Hannah's awful excuse. "That's a shame. He was really looking forward to going out with you."

A twinge of guilt hit Hannah harshly. This is what Esme wanted, she wanted Hannah to feel guilty for leaving Michael alone on Friday night but what she really wanted to know was the truth. Esme was not a stupid woman and could see through Hannah's pathetic lies easily and it would only be a matter of time before Hannah told her the complete truth which would most likely causing friction between the friendship that was starting to blossom between herself and Esme Shelby.

"I'll make it up to him."

The back door, located where the kitchen was, slammed open and a young gentleman walked in. Hannah did not recognise the handsome man, but she decided to ask no questions as she watched him walk through the kitchen, ignoring his dark eyes that looked at her with confusion and then realisation.

"Is that her?" Hannah heard the man ask Esme. A few more inaudible sentences were spoken between Esme and the stranger before he strolled back into the kitchen casually and leaned against the counter. "Isaiah Jesus, it's a pleasure to meet you."

Hannah turned her head to the side and looked Isaiah up and down. "Hannah Anderson and the pleasure is returned. Can I help you with something?"

Isaiah raised one finger in the air and moved it up and down a few times. "No, I don't need help with anything, but can I please tell you something?"

"Of course, you can."

"He wasn't lying, you really are beautiful."


	7. explanation and breaking hearts.

No matter how hard she tried, Michael Gray was always on Hannah's mind. It was impossible to go more than half an hour without thinking about the man that had made such an imprint on her in such a small quantity of time. Even if she was eating dinner, sorting out medical apparatus or chatting to one of the mothers about how their baby had put on weight, somewhere in the back of her mind he was haunting her and blurring out the important things in life.

Hannah had spotted Michael on the street during one of her rounds the day before and made a swift departure before he could spot her. Unfortunately, or fortunately, Michael had spotted Hannah and had bellowed her name down the street, but Hannah was too uncomfortable to face him after what had happened two weeks earlier. She had hurried over to her patient's house as quickly as possible and had taken a dreadfully long time to check the mother over as she feared that Michael would be outside and waiting for an explanation that Hannah couldn't give him.

Esme's due date was rapidly approaching which meant that there was a chance that Hannah would bump into Michael once again. She was feared that Esme would bring Michael up; the woman was fierce and determined to get the truth out of Hannah. Once Isaiah had left after the false alarm, Esme had nonchalantly brought Michael into every discussion and observed Hannah's face for any unfamiliar emotion. Fortunately, Hannah was quick on her feet and managed to get herself out of the complicated discussion.

"Sister Margaret, you are needed at the maternity home today," Sister Maria announced over breakfast. As she continued to list everybody's duties off, Hannah found herself, once again, daydreaming about the brown-haired gentleman and what she would do when it was time to tell the truth. She had an inkling that Michael was conscious of Hannah's new knowledge about the infamous gang that ruled the streets of Birmingham and that was why he wasn't trying so hard to talk to her. In all honesty, Hannah was rather disappointed at the fact that Michael had made no attempt to contact her, but it was as much her fault as it was his. "Nurse Anderson, are you listening?"

Hannah whipped her head around to Sister Maria before blinking a few times. "Oh, I'm sorry. My head went to a different place then." Hannah chuckled anxiously. "What am I doing today?"

"You will be assisting me at the hospital today. Two of the nurses have called in sick because of a bug that is going around, and they are now short-staffed until they can get substitutes in. You will be back to midwifery and district rounds tomorrow if all things go to plan."

Hannah was slightly happy at the thought of spending her day at the hospital. The evening before, she had dealt with a problematic birth and wanted to have some time away from midwifery to somewhat recollect herself as she had been left shaken. Hannah nodded her head at Sister Maria before turning back to her breakfast that was slowly turning cold as she had been distracted once again by Michael Gray.

+++

Sister Maria had ordered Hannah to wait outside while she collected a few things for their day at the hospital, including a clean uniform and lunch time meals. It was the end of October and the winter was coming thick and fast; harsh winds, dark skies and an awful lot of rain. There had been reports of a substantial snowfall coming towards the end of the year and Hannah didn't like to think about what work was going to be like. Getting around Small Heath was hard enough during the more pleasant seasons, let alone during a snow storm.

"Nurse Anderson, I have something for you." Hannah turned around and came face-to-face with John Shelby who was holding the nurses hat that Hannah had kindly given to John's youngest offspring. She took it from him and grinned before sticking it in her work bag. "Caught our Katie murmuring in Edward's ear, kept trying to get him to punch our other girl so she could wear the hat and patch her back up. Luckily, I caught on to what was happening before there was any serious injuries."

"Oh gosh, I am so sorry. I didn't think that your daughter would start causing trouble when I gave it her."

John chuckled before waving one hand in the air, letting Hannah know that it was okay. "I've dealt with worse when it comes to those kids. Katie now wants to be a nurse now though, which is lovely, I guess. At least she won't be involved with the business and I'll support her every step of the way."

"You never know, she might be working at this convent in about fifteen years' time." Hannah couldn't help but notice John's baggy eyelids and dishevelled hair which only worried her as she believed that something was wrong with Esme. "Did you not get much sleep last night? Is Esme okay?" she questioned with panic running through her voice.

"Esme is fine, she's currently rushing around the house trying to clear up and sort things out before the new baby comes. I was at the hospital last night with my brother, Arthur. The stupid idiot decided to get absolutely hammered last night which only ended in a bar fight, which there was no need for, and it went completely and utterly wrong. He's currently laid up in a hospital bed with stitches. They've decided to keep him in for a few days in case an infection occurs," John explained, pulling a face of revulsion as he thought back to his older brother's wound.

"I might see him today then. I'm going over there in a minute to do some work there for the day. If I do see your brother, I will get him some tough love and tell him that he shouldn't rely on you to take him to the hospital every time he decides to be an idiot. You should have been at home with your wife, not looking after him."

John shrugged her shoulders before pulling out a cigarette. "Tommy couldn't exactly do it. His son, Charlie, is turning two soon so he's been up in the countryside trying to plan an over-the-top birthday party for a kid who won't even remember it." John chuckled before turning his head back towards the car. "I must go before I'm late for work. I'll see you soon, Nurse Anderson."

"Hopefully I'll next be seeing you when your Esme gives birth. How long now?"

"Just over two fucking weeks and I cannot wait. See you later, Nurse Anderson."

Hannah waved John off before turning towards the convent steps to look for Sister Maria. Hannah had been waiting for a good five minutes and the cold weather was becoming intolerable, but she didn't dare go up the steps and ruin Sister Maria's good mood, if that's what you could consider it. She had been bizarrely pleasant to Hannah in the last few weeks which not only confused Hannah but frightened her. Sister Maria was still the same old domineering lady, but she had toned it down significantly.

Sister Maria finally emerged from the religious foundation, loudly groaning as she closed the front door. "I couldn't find anything in that bleeding room. I'm going to ask Nurse Owen to sort it out when we get home because I'm sure she's the reason that it's such a mess. No organisation skills whatsoever..."

Sister Maria continued to rant for half of the journey about the mess that the convent had become since the number of births had amplified. She had a point, which Hannah agreed with, but midway through the rambling mess that was spluttering from the nun's mouth, Hannah found herself walking aimlessly and responding to Sister Maria's questions which a few grunts or other sounds.

A brash sigh left Sister Maria's lips which dragged Hannah out of her fantasy. "What's wrong?" Hannah questioned, overlooking Sister Maria's intense eyes.

"Nothing is wrong with me, apart from that thing that we call a medical room. There's something wrong with you however." Sister Maria was one of those people that could see through lies and dishonesty. It was as if she had a knack for calling out liars and cheats and for some reason, she always managed to get the truth out of everybody.

"No, I'm completely fine. I'm just worn-out." It was another overused lie that had slipped from Hannah's mouth more times than needed. She robotically said the words before registering them but in her defence, she usually was very tired. It seemed that all her patients wanted to give birth during the middle of the night but there was no time for sleep, not when the babies of Birmingham wanted to enter the world.

"You've used that excuse about five times in the last few days and I know when someone is lying. Is it something to do with that unpleasant boy?" Sister Maria furrowed her eyebrows as she thought about Michael.

"What unpleasant boy?" Hannah asked, acting dumb in order to hopefully finish the conversation before it could go any further. She had also become a master of doing that in the recent weeks, especially when she was around Esme and Alexandra.

"Don't make me say his name."

"If you are on about Michael then it's not about him. I haven't seen him in a few weeks now and I don't plan on seeing him again." It was an answer that Hannah hated but Sister Maria loved. The nuns were worried about their reputation and what people would think if they knew that one of their employees was hanging around with a blinder. Alexandra had mentioned that some people would possibly stop donating money towards the convent and donations were what made the convent strive. Hannah wasn't willing to risk the convents future or her friendships for one man, but she also wasn't willing to let him go, even if it was for the best. Sister Maria and the other sisters also wanted Hannah away from Michael for her own wellbeing.

"Good. If you want to find yourself a nice husband - "

"I don't," Hannah interrupted quickly. She didn't want to talk about her future love-life and the current non-existent one with a holy sister who had no knowledge in the department.

"If you want to find yourself a nice husband in the future then I would suggest meeting someone that is not associated with that retched gang." Sister Maria let out a sigh before raising one finger in the air, something that she did whenever she was about to start ranting - which was a lot of the time because it was hard to please Sister Maria. "I remember delivering him and his twin sister. They were taken away from their mother at a young age, I don't know why if I'm being honest, but I can remember seeing Polly, that's his mother's name, strolling around the streets of Small Heath for weeks afterwards with no drive. She was a lost and very broken woman." Sister Maria spoke about Michael being taken away with emotion, as if she felt sorry for the twins and Polly.

"That's dreadfully sad. Why did Michael come back?" Hannah questioned.

"I don't know how Polly found him because I don't think the parish kept records or where the orphans went but I do know that he came back to Birmingham in 1922 and he has been here ever since. It will be coming up to two years since he returned to Birmingham. It's been an eventful two years for the lad, I already know that one."

"1924 already, how crazy is that?" 1924 was speedily approaching and it had been one heck of a year for Hannah, sometimes good and from time to time bad. She had passed her course with flying colours, moved up North, no longer spoke to her parents and had met a handsome man that was causing her more trouble than she needed. Hannah just hoped that 1924 offered more contentment and more babies for her to busy herself with.

"It goes pretty quick when you are delivering babies every day. The world goes by, things change, medicine becomes more advanced, but we barely see it because we are usually on our knees in some poor woman's living room. Anyway, enough talking now because the hospital is just around the corner and I need you to enter there with a clear mind."

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Hannah walked through the different wards of the infirmary, occasionally popping in to check on the more severely ill patients who were sadly on end of life care. So far, she had not come across John's older brother, not that she knew what he looked like. Hannah had made it her duty to look for anyone with the last name Shelby, so she could give them a scolding. Hannah felt more sorry for Esme and she didn't want that business to cause her any harm or stress. If she knew who he was, Hannah would have got in touch with the leader of the gang - she believed his name was Tommy.

"Your lunch break is in fifteen minutes," Sister Maria said to Hannah as the two of them passed in the corridor. "Until then, I need you to go and deal with Mr. Browning because he is wanting his lunch before everybody else. He's a challenging man so go and sort him out for me because I worry that I will do something that God won't agree with."

Hannah sniggered before taking the lunch from Sister Maria's hands. The ward held numerous men, some with serious injuries from work, others with insignificant wounds. Mr. Browning was a bad-tempered man that did not look pleased to see anybody, but Hannah had become used to men, and women, who didn't like things if it wasn't right for them.

"Mr. Browning, your lunch," Hannah said with a smile as she placed the tray on his lap. A few grunts came from Mr. Browning's mouth as he moved so he was resting against the metallic bed end. "Can I do or get anything else for you?"

Mr. Browning looked at Hannah as if she was the wickedest female in the world before scowling. "You can get me out of this hospital. I'm getting fed-up of seeing Nurse's and Doctor's every time I open my eyes."

Hannah rolled her head before opening and closing her eyes leisurely. "I'm afraid I can't do that. A very heavy metal pipe fell on your leg and you need to rest until it's fixed. Until then, you will have to make do with seeing our faces."

"I'm not exactly satisfied about that. I could be at home earning money for my wife and kids," he told Hannah, his tone full of fury.

"Even if you were at home, you wouldn't be doing much. That leg going is to take a long time to mend itself and you limping around the hospital, shouting and screaming at every nurse that you see, is not getting to help you, is it? Now, eat your sandwich and try and have some rest."

"Cheese and bloody pickle." Mr. Browning picked up the sandwich before throwing it back on the plate with disgust. Hannah took a deep breath but before she could say lecture Mr. Browning on manners, she was interrupted by a familiar voice that sent her heart rate running.

"Hannah."

It was simply spoken but Hannah could hear the heartbreak and confusion behind his voice. Hannah turned around and smiled at Michael sympathetically before lowering her head to the ground, so she couldn't see his reaction. Mr. Browning was still complaining about the sandwich, but Hannah could barely hear him as she tried to think of a way to get out of the situation. Her face was flushed, and her breathing had sped up rapidly, leaving her an anxious mess in the middle of the ward with multiple grown men staring at her with puzzled expressions.

"Michael," she finally said before clearing her throat. Hannah turned around and gripped her notes before walking towards the door, wordlessly praying that Michael was going to follow her so that they could talk about things and what was going on. It was going to happen sooner or later, and it was only a matter of time before everything was out in the open. Things were either going to go one way or another.

"Hannah, can we talk in private?" Michael was following Hannah quickly, he was refusing to give up which she secretly adored. Whatever the issue was, Michael was willing to sort through things. When Hannah showed no signs of stopping, Michael grabbed onto her hand and dragged her into an unoccupied part of building that had a look on the door. "Can we talk?"

"There's nothing to talk about. I need to get back to my job now because there are patients that need seeing too and I'm no good if I'm locked up in here with you." Hannah turned to move towards the door, but Michael pulled her back lightly and pushed her against one of the unused beds. He was stood with both hands on her waist and his face was remarkably close to hers, not that Hannah was complaining.

"I'm not going to let you go until I find out the truth. You've been ignoring me on purpose and please, do not deny it. I shouted you the other day and I haven't seen anyone move that quick in a long time," he said, referencing when Hannah had run over to one of her patients houses to ignore Michael.

"I haven't."

"You're a bare-faced fucking liar. Just tell me what the problem is so I can sort it out." Michael sounded desperate as he pleaded with Hannah. No woman had ever managed to get Michael Gray to beg so it was shocking for Michael and it only made him realise, not like he didn't know it before, that Hannah truly was a special girl.

"Honestly, there's no problem. You are being daft." Hannah placed her hands-on top of Michael's, ignoring how nice it felt to be touched tenderly by another man. It had been a long time since she had felt this close to someone.

"I'm not being daft, love." Michael finally removed his hands from Hannah and stepped backwards. One of his hands ran across his face as he mentally debated with himself. "I'm either going to drop myself in it here or I'm going to find out the truth, but I feel as if you have found out some information that you don't like and that's the reason for your ignorance." Hannah instantly looked down at the ground, like before when she was embarrassed and stuck in a position she knew she couldn't get out of, before beginning to fiddle with the end of her pinafore. "I knew it."

"I've just been trying to wrap my head around things, that's all. I didn't want any bad feelings between us and I thought that giving myself some space would help me wrap my head around things." It hadn't been directly said but the truth was out, and Hannah was thankful. Her own mental state was slowly going out of the window as she had spent most nights thinking about the mess she was in.

"You weren't working that Friday, was you?" Michael raised one eyebrow, his eyes clouded with hurt.

"No and I'm sorry for letting you down. I feel awful about it, I truly do," she self-confessed, full of shame and disgrace for ruining their night together.

"You should do. I spent all day thinking about where I was going to take you and what we were going to do after dinner. I felt like a right bloody idiot." Michael's words did not make Hannah feel any better but what was she to expect? A red carpet and immediate forgiveness? "So, do you not want to see me again?"

"I'm not saying that," Hannah stated. "I just don't know how to go about things without disappointing people. If I'm not upsetting, you then I'm infuriating the sisters or winding up the other nurses. I'm just stuck in this endless situation that doesn't seem to be getting any better and it's draining me, Michael. I can't do anything without thinking about you, even when I'm on my hands and knees and looking up some girl's night dress as I pull a baby out."

Michael chuckled before looking up at Hannah with more seriousness. She hated being lectured and thought badly about but it was what she deserved. "I can't keep waiting Hannah."

"I know."

"So, tell me what you want."

Hannah thought for a second before standing up straight and walking over to Michael. She grabbed hold of his hand and linked her fingers with his own. "I want you."

"Are you sure?" Michael asked, not knowing if she was being serious or not.

Hannah nodded before smiling softly. "Ring me in about a week and we can arrange something. Until then, I think it would be best that we don't see each other because I can't have the nuns and midwives finding out just yet."

"Yeah, that's fine." Michael grinned to himself before licking his lips. "I want you as well, Hannah."


	8. death + love.

( trigger warning - stillborn baby, mentions of death, sensitive topics )

Hannah knew that this day would come eventually; the day when she would begin to question why she decided to join such a heart breaking profession. There was tears of joy majority of the time, laughter and friendships were shaped because of the beautiful actions that the female body could accomplish. Yet, there was always heartbreak lurking somewhere around the corner. Contamination, lack of money, underprivileged housing and not enough medical knowledge was usually a factor in the anguish and led to a high death rate with babies. Fortunately for Hannah, she had never been faced with a situation such as stillborn, until this day, but she had heard of other midwives speak about it with agony palpable in their voices.

The sound of no crying, screaming or breathing was unquestionably petrifying to Hannah and other midwives. If they were fortunate, they would be able to get the baby breathing again, with a few small smacks, before anything serious happened. Still, there was always the small chance that the new born would not get to encounter their parents, appreciate their youths and grow old. Midwives were professionals, but they still felt heartache for every chilf that they sadly lost, even if they had not directly aided in delivering the baby.

The last few hours had gone tremendously slow for Hannah who was still in shock and disbelief. The hurt that was on Janine Oldfield's face as she was given her child who had not managed to survive would haunt her continually. The vision of her husband, Marcus, trying his absolute hardest to not cry in front of his wife when all he wanted to do was break down, would also haunt Hannah's dreams. But he had to be strong, for his wife, that is what he thought. Even Sister Maria, a midwife who had been in the vocation for over thirty-years, was unashamedly dazed by the death of a new born child, even though she had experienced it countless times before.

"Nurse Anderson, I think it might be best that you leave the rest to me," Sister Maria whispered in Hannah's ear with one hand resting on her shoulder.

Hannah hadn't moved from her position on the floor. Her gloves were covered in the blood, her pinafore no longer sparkling, her clothes were as ruined as her mind. Hannah looked back at Sister Maria, while blinking away a few tears, before sluggishly nodding her head. Hannah hoisted up and removed the blue gloves from her hand, making sure that the new parents did not see the chaos as it would possibly distress them even more.

"The afterbirth will be here soon," she told Sister Maria before walking towards the cleaning station to make herself look more presentable. After a few moments of trying to open the fresh bottle of hand antiseptic, Hannah gave up and turned to Sister Maria with a soft, exhausted smile. "Are you sure you don't want me to stay?"

Sister Maria shook her head before nodding towards the door. "You're distressed, and you can't hide it. If the parents, see you like this..." Hannah looked over towards Janine and Marcus who were holding their new born son in their arms. Even after dealing with such sorrow, a minor grin was still playing on their lips as they held onto their son for dear-life, opposing the tears that were gradually dropping from each parent's eyes. "Go back to the convent and get some rest, love."

Hannah snivelled before rushing out of the door. The cold wind hit her like a tonne of bricks, but she didn't feel a thing, not really. Every part of her body was emotionless as she thought about the parents that were still inside of the house, suffering with nothing but depraved memories of what should have been the start of a lovely life. Hannah didn't know where she was going, who she was going to see or what she was planning as she trudged through the streets. Her hair was a state, clammy and stuck to her forehead; body fluid still dribbled from her clothing, slowly trailing down until it reached the hem of the nurse's work uniform. She wasn't thinking straight; her brain was one big ambiguous mess as it tried to process the last few hours. It had started out well, things were going effortlessly and then the mother was screaming out in discomfort like nothing else, Sister Maria and Hannah were encouraging the woman on as the head of the baby came to show and then nothing, just pure silence, heavy breathing and shocked faces. The silence that followed would be something that Hannah would never, ever forget.

Before she could process her surroundings, it came into the view. The Garrison. An old sign swinging from half way up the building, the metal banging against the wall was heard throughout the lane because of the heavy and ghastly winds. Hannah hadn't expected much from the pub if she was being truthful, Mr. Maxwell drank there, and he wasn't the most pleasing of menfolk. It was where he drank though, where his family hung around, where the dodgy dealings took place. Betty had told Hannah that people were killed in the disreputable local that looked somewhat harmless on the outside, yet the inside was an entirely different story.

Hannah didn't want to be there, she didn't want Michael to see her in the state that she was in but for some inexplicable reason, Hannah found herself walking closer to the doors; she wanted to be reassured. It was going to go one way or another - Michael would either kick Hannah out for showing up in front of his family or take her to the side and whisper sweet things in her ears to calm her down after the problematic night she had suffered. Michael didn't look like a man that was good at giving out advice but luckily, she didn't want that. Hannah just wanted to feel close to someone and have them tell her that she did well and that she wasn't a failure like she had believed.

As she walked up to the doors of the pub, a familiar face walked out before she could enter. He stared at Hannah with confusion as he scrutinised her bloody clothes and petrified eyes.

"Hannah Anderson, the famous midwife who has taken my best friends heart, we meet again."

"Isaiah." Hannah spoke softly before looking behind Isaiah towards the doors that were still swinging from his dramatic entrance. "Is Michael in there by any chance? I was hoping to speak to him before I went home."

Isaiah's were filled with worry, his cocky attitude dropping as he spotted the sorrow in Hannah's voice. "Yeah, he is. Do you want me to go and get him? But I must say, you look like you need a drink desperately. A whiskey?" Isaiah raised one eyebrow.

"No, I'm fine. I'll go and find him myself, thank you."

Isaiah rummaged through his coat pocket before pulling out a silver metal case, along with a packet of matches. "Alright then. He's in the back room, love."

Hannah gracelessly moved past Isaiah who was taking up most of the doorway entrance, not that he was bothered. The Garrison felt foreign to Hannah, she had been used to high-end, fancy clubs with jazz music and exotic cocktails. In Birmingham, the ideal drink was a pint of larger or a whiskey. There was no music either, no live bands or melodies but there were a few folks in the corners of The Garrison that would sing loudly and out of tune to a song that they had heard in the deep trenches of France. Others would dance along to no music, some just happy to be there, and other people would sit at the booths or stand by the bar as they smoked on their cheap roll ups and drank their beverages.

The unfortunate barman was hysterical as he rushed around the bar, doing his best to serve every man and woman that demanded a drink. The sight cheered Hannah up for a moment but realisation hit her once again and she went back to the cold and horrid mood.

"I'm looking for a Michael Gray," Hannah said to the barman when he passed a drink to the person next to her. The bartender looked at Hannah with confusion; puzzled as to why a young midwife would want to talk to a criminal. Luckily, he didn't question it and pointed towards two doors that were in the corner of the pub. "Thank you," she mumbled before sliding her way through multiple people who were slowly becoming violent with each other.

Debating what to do, Hannah stood by the door for a few moments, having to move out of the way for folk every now and again. She felt squished in the smallish pub and trapped within herself. Leaning against the wall, Hannah closed her eyes as she tried to block out the sad thoughts that were threatening to invade and they would surely expose her wretchedness to everyone in Small Heath.

Isaiah had made his way back inside and over to the bar where he got a drink for himself and Hannah. "You look like you need one, mate. Here," he said, having to raise his voice over the melodies of drunken men that was becoming louder and louder.

Since moving to Small Heath, Hannah hadn't had the time to go out drinking with her friends so the taste of the alcoholic drink, which Hannah couldn't identify, was despicable to her and burned like nothing else. Still, she hid the grimace and thanked Isaiah.

"Why are you stood out here? Just go inside." Isaiah motioned towards the back-room doors and furrowed his eyebrows, confused as to why Hannah was acting so strangely. He had only met her once, but he could see that something was wrong with her.

Hannah shrugged, not sure of the answer herself. People were starting to stare at Hannah with as much confusion as Isaiah - a young midwife, one who did not belong in a place like The Garrison, stood outside of the Shelby's precious room with blood and other liquid substances stuck to her uniform. The stares were becoming too much for Hannah who was starting to feel uncomfortable under the harsh gazes, so she moved to turn around and leave the pub because she could make a fool of herself any more, but she was quickly stopped in her tracks when Isaiah placed a hand on her forearm. Hannah turned to face Isaiah, ready to tell him that she was leaving and to not tell Michael that she was in the building but instead, she was faced with Michael who was looking Hannah up and down as he tried to put the pieces together in his head. She hadn't even heard the back-room door open but as she looked over Michael's shoulder, she spotted John, Esme and some other men and women sat staring.

"What's wrong?" Michael finally asked as he linked his fingers with Hannah. She looked to the side and swallowed before shifting her eyes to the ground. "Do you want to go outside?"

Hannah sighed before removing her hand from Michael's. "I shouldn't have come, I'm sorry."

Michael fluttered his eyelashes before looking back at his family members. Polly gave him a subtle nod, signalling for him to go with Hannah. "Come on, let's go outside."

Michael took hold of Hannah's hand once again and the two of them walked out of The Garrison. Michael's power came to show as people moved out of the way for him and tipped their caps as a sign of respect; a contrast to the way that Hannah had been treated only minutes earlier. The pushing and shoving was unbearable, but it was a Friday night and people were trying their best to get rid of the negative feelings that had built up over the working week.

"Tell me what's wrong," Michael said once the two of them were safely outside, away from listening ears and gossiping people. Michael had directed Hannah down a small road that was vacant and dark, only slightly lit up by the midnight moon that was up high. Hannah was pressed against the wall and Michael was stood in front of her, like first time that they had met, as he held onto both of her hands.

"I've just had a really, really bad night and I didn't want to go back to the convent straight away. I didn't plan on coming here, I just came across it. I recognised the pub because one of my patients talks about how the Shelby family own it and I just went in before I could stop myself and then Isaiah gave me a drink - "

"Hannah, you're rambling again," he cut off as he brushed a piece of hair away from her cheeks.

"I'm sorry," she whispered but a dark chuckle left her pouted lips. Hannah removed her hands away from Michael's grip and absently wiped them across her face to keep herself calm and collected.

"Stop saying sorry."

"I'm - " Hannah stopped herself before she could finish the words. Michael stifled a laugh before pressing his lips together when he remembered that Hannah was hurt and alone. "God, it's just been fucking awful."

The cold air was making Hannah push herself closer to Michael - at least that's what she's told herself. She was desperate for warmth and comfort and Michael was the only man in sight that would treat her delicately and not hurt her, she believed. It was silly to come running to him when something bad had happened, especially because she had horribly ignored him for a good couple of weeks. The truth was out in the open and Hannah had successfully put it to the back of her mind.

"Was it something to do with a baby?" he asked, being careful to not be so direct in case it released the tide of tears that were bound to slip from Hannah's eyes soon. It had been a few days since he had last seen Hannah at the hospital and he had weirdly missed her.

When he wanted to comfort somebody, Michael could but he could never deal with tears. Hannah's small nod was all Michael needed and he instantly knew what had happened. He moved forward and wrapped his arms around Hannah's waist, dragging her closer to his body.

"It's just not fair," she grumbled.

"I know." Michael was doing his best to soothe Hannah, but he was finding it tricky. "Do you want to go and get a drink? I'm sure Esme would love to see you."

Hannah shook her head and moved away from Michael. "Thank you, that's kind. I need to get back to the convent though because the coroners will have to collect the baby and I can't leave Sister Maria to do it on her own."

Michael was trying his hardest to understand but he was still finding it difficult. He didn't want Hannah to be all on her own and it was gone midnight, meaning none of the other midwives would be awake. He wished that he could stay with her for the rest of the night, but she had things to do and so did he.

"I'll ring you, yeah?" Michael looked down at Hannah as he stroked her cheek comfortingly. Without thinking, he leaned down to kiss her, but Hannah moved away with swiftly before their lips could come into contact.

"I'm sorry, I best get going." Hannah sighed before pecking Michael's cheek and leaving him alone to contemplate his decision and choices.


	9. tommy shelby.

By the time Hannah had woken up the next day, it was gone lunch time. She had spent most of the night thinking about the kiss that she had almost shared with Michael, the mother and father of the deceased child and how she was going to deal with such a traumatic night. It was gone four in the morning when she finally went to sleep, only to be woken up at around six when Alexandra woke up to get ready for the day, but Hannah remained in bed and hoped that Sister Maria would allow her to have a day off and when no one had entered the bedroom by mid-morning, it was apparent that there would be no working day for Hannah.

Hannah could hear the telephone ringing loudly from her comfortable position in her bed. She knew that the best thing to do would be to get out of bed and answer the phone, and she thought about it, until the telephone stopped ringing and she heard Sister Maria answer it with a bellowing voice. She would have been just as exhausted as Hannah, which wasn't a good thing. A tired and over worked Sister Maria typically led to lots of angry rants and the midwives being on the receiving end of them. At this point, everyone nodded their heads as they got ordered around the convent, being told what to do and where to go, but it had also become quite entertaining.

The sound of feet walking along the landing made Hannah sit up, she knew who it was. Hannah did her best to straighten herself out and act as if she had been awake for more than ten minutes. Laziness, no matter what the reason, was not accepted at all. Still, there was the off-chance that Sister Maria was going to be sympathetic towards Hannah after the night that the two of them had spent together.

"I see that you are awake," Sister Maria said after Hannah had given permission for her to enter. The sister's voice was bizarrely soft, as were her eyes. However, she could see a glimmer of aggravation and it was clearly because of Hannah. "I've had a phone call."

"I heard," she replied, not meaning too sound so blunt. Fatigue was taking over her whole body as she laid back on the bed and rubbed her eyes. In her head, she was silently praying that Sister Maria wasn't going to send her out to work. "Who was it?"

"It was a certain Mr. Thomas Shelby."

Hannah closed her eyes slowly at the sound of the man's name. She was preparing herself for a rant about how respectable women should not been seen with Shelby men, or anyone associated with them, including Michael. Hannah had managed to go a full two days without Michael's name getting dragged through the mud and brought into conversations that he didn't need to be mentioned in - people just loved to give Hannah grief. Sometimes, she hated how soft and kind she was.

"And what does he want?" Hannah gulped as she turned her head to the side to look at Sister Maria who had her arms crossed.

"His son has become ill and Tommy has requested that you go and have a look at him. In fact, he demanded that you were the nurse that would be sent over. I didn't have much say in the matter," the nun told Hannah. Even though Sister Maria did not like Tommy, in fact hated, she could never deny a young child of medical assistance. She knew that there was going to be more to the visit than just checking on young Charlie. "He has told you to order a taxi to his place, the address is downstairs. He will pay for it when you arrive and also pay for your journey back home."

Hannah rolled her eyes before sitting up once again. "What a gentleman he is."

Sister Maria stifled a laugh at Hannah's sarcastic and blunt reply. "I'll ring for a taxi now and it should be here in about fifteen minutes. Make sure you are up, awake and ready. I'll also get started on preparing your medical bag for you. I asked Nurse Owen to do it but it's like talking to a wall." Sister Maria let out a short laugh before walking out of the door, leaving Hannah to get dressed into her working uniform and prepare herself for the afternoon ahead that was bound to be awkward and full of uncomfortable questions.

+++

When Hannah had first got into the taxi, she had no idea that she would be travelling for nearly an hour. It was frustrating in all honesty and for most of the voyage, she had done her best to try and get some richly deserved respite before she dealt with the sick baby. However, with every bump in the road, she woke up with a shock. Memories of the night before flashed through her mind as she thought back to the young parents who were currently heartbroken. Hannah had mentioned to Sister Maria before she had got into the taxi that she would visit them soon or when she could next face it. The idea of midwifery made Hannah feel sick to her stomach - with nerves and hurt - and she just hoped that the bad feelings would slip away before it became too much.

Arrow House was a stunning building which showed how far the Shelby family, Tommy specifically, had come. It was much more bigger than the convent and reminded her of the stately homes that she had seen when going on holiday to the countryside with her parents; homes that Hannah had idolised and wanted since being a youngster. There was no way that being a midwife would be pay for such extravagance, but Hannah was allowed to dream about a stable and content future.

The taxi pulled up in front of the house and stopped harshly, sending Hannah forwards a little. Hannah had noticed that the taxi man had been in a foul mood for the whole journey, not once making any conversation towards Hannah. She couldn't blame him, the poor man was about to be in the company of Tommy Shelby and Hannah was sure that he was not looking forward to it, along with her.

"Nurse Anderson."

The taxi door swung open before Hannah could make any attempt to let herself out. In front of her was Tommy Shelby; a man of many mysteries and rumours. Hannah had only ever heard about his cruel deeds, the things that he had done and involvements. To be in front of him was frightening but Hannah wasn't there to fear the man, she was there to look after his son and give him whatever medicine would make him better.

"Mr. Shelby, I've been sent over to see your son," she responded with as much self-confidence as she could muster together. Hannah stepped out of the car, ignoring Tommy's hand that was held up for assistance and smoothed out her uniform.

Tommy nodded and stepped to the side. Even if Hannah was radiating confidence, Tommy Shelby could see right through the act. He squinted his eyes at Hannah as he took her in, admiring everything about her. Tommy had always had respect for nurses; especially since the War. If Michael was to bring any woman home, he would rather it be a nurse than a whore.

"Follow me," he muttered calmly before walking ahead.

While walking behind him, Hannah remembered that Tommy had seen her the night before at The Garrison in an awful state. She did not care if she was judged but she did not want to be mocked or talk about the ordeal.

"What symptoms does your son have?" Hannah asked as she leaned down to pick up the nearly two-year old. His mother, who Hannah believed was called Grace, was shaking her head at Tommy from across the room, confirming that there was going to be more to this visit than just a check-up.

"High temperature, difficulty sleeping, hasn't eaten much is the last few days," Tommy reeled off the list of symptoms as Hannah checked over Charlie, his head turning to look at Grace every now and again. Hannah raised one eyebrow at him before shaking her head. "Do you know what it is?"

Hannah stood up straight and placed one hand on her hip. "I think we both know that poor Charlie here has the flu. Make sure that he gets plenty of rest, drinks lots of water and I'd also recommended that Charlie stays in bed as much as he possibly can."

Grace stepped forward and walked towards Hannah, giving her a soft smile. "Thank you, Nurse Anderson. Can I get you anything?"

Hannah rolled her eyes towards Tommy, suddenly annoyed that she was brought here for no reason at all. During her walk to Charlie's nursery, she had seen at least two other nurses around the house that could have given a diagnosis. "An explanation would be nice."

Tommy chuckled before nodding towards the door. "Shall we go to my office?"

+++

Tommy's office was large compared to Hannah, making her feel small in the company of Tommy Shelby. In front of her was a powerful and intelligent man who owned most of Birmingham - a success story. Corruption, misery and pain was what he brought to the streets but at the same time, he brought hope to his loved ones. People could judge Thomas, he didn't care that much and that was because they didn't understand, not even Hannah did. The Shelby's were a whisper in the streets, gossip over a drink but in their inner circle, they were much more.

"Can I get you a drink, Nurse Anderson?" Tommy asked as he grabbed two glasses and a bottle of whiskey, not really giving her a choice. She didn't have work for the rest of the day, so it wouldn't hurt her. "There you are."

Hannah took the drink from his hand, sniffed it and pulled a face, suddenly deciding that she didn't need a drink. "I'd rather talk about why you brought me over here."

Tommy stifled a laugh before leaning back in his chair. "I wanted you to check on my son, I thought that was your job?"

Hannah raised one eyebrow before looking to the side. "You have nurses in this house that could have checked on him. I'm going to guess that the reason you really brought me over here was because you wanted to discuss Michael. I'm afraid to say that there's nothing to discuss so am I alright to leave?"

Tommy slanted his head to the side for a brief second, fascinated by Hannah's courage and attitude. For a quiet girl, she could sure stand on her own two feet. "Hannah Anderson."

"Tommy Shelby."

"I'd like to invite you to my wedding."

Hannah scoffed and raised one eyebrow before leaning forward to grab the drink. She was losing patience quickly, the lack of sleep not helping, and needed something to keep herself together. The liquor burnt as it slid down her throat, but she didn't grimace at the taste, surprisingly.

"And why on earth would you invite me to your wedding?" she asked, placing the glass of the desk aggressively. Tommy sighed and shook his head; she reminded him of when Michael first arrived in Small Heath. Quiet but the ability to cause harm - not that Hannah ever would.

"For Michael's sake," he answered. "Michael will need a date and it will be fun. Imagine the sister's faces when you tell them that you will be attending Thomas Shelby's wedding."

With a roll of her eyes, Hannah thought about the invitation. It would be fun and there would be something thrilling about disobeying the sisters and other midwives' warnings and orders. However, Hannah did not know what was going to happen with her and Michael. There were things that needed to be resolved, talked about and what not. The only Shelby that she had properly encountered, and got along with, was John and Esme.

"I will think about your invitation," she finally answered. "Is there anything else or can I actually go? You have ruined my day off by dragging me here to ask me a question and by the looks of things, you are in the dog house with your partner for doing so."

"She didn't want me to take you away from your work, she said it would be a waste of time."

Hannah stood up and grabbed her medical bag that she had placed on the floor besides her. "Tommy Shelby, you should listen to your wife-to-be more. She was right."

Tommy chuckled before following Hannah's actions and standing up. As he walked her over to the door, his face changed as he remembered the night before. "Are you okay after last night?"

The shock that was on Hannah's face tried to remain hidden, but it was almost impossible. From what she could tell, Tommy seemed genuinely concerned. Hannah looked a fright when she walked into The Garrison covered in blood and other things, her hands shaking and her face wet with tears. No one questioned Michael when he returned to the backroom but they all took note of the absent look in his eyes as he silently sipped on the drink that Arthur had ordered him before slipping away unnoticed.

"I am fine, thank you. I promise that I won't interrupt your little gatherings anymore."

Tommy shook his head before smiling softly. "You are welcome to join in whenever you want. John and Esme never stop talking about you, they claim that you are the only decent person in Small Heath." Hannah laughed at the comment and accepted the compliment. "Polly wants to meet you as well. She is rather eager to meet the girl who has stolen her son's heart."

"I don't think that I've stolen - "

"You can leave now," he interrupted, his eyes glimmering with humour. Tommy did not want her to lie in front of him. She could put up a front as much as she wanted but Tommy could see right through Hannah and he could definitely see the twinkle in her eyes whenever Michael was mentioned.


	10. another shelby.

After spending the next few weeks getting back to her normal routine, Hannah was finally over the death of the baby that had been haunting her dreams. It was a heart-breaking situation, one that would stay with her for the rest of her career but there were other babies in Small Heath that needed Hannah's assistance, she couldn't give up on them. With sixty to eighty babies being born every month in Small Heath, Hannah was always at work. Her schedule hectic and non-stop, meaning she never got to speak to Michael. The two of them had made plans to speak again, arrange something romantic, but business and work got in the way for both of them.

The only time that Hannah had been near any of the Shelby's was when she went to see Esme for routine check-ups. Things had been going well during her third trimester and her due date was rapidly approaching, as was the wedding of Tommy Shelby and Grace Burgess. Hannah had not mentioned the wedding to nobody, she was still unsure on what to do. If she was to see Michael and discuss the day with him - so she had a proper date to the wedding - she would consider attending. Until then, she had no plans to arrive on the day.

Alexandra burst into the living room, bringing Hannah away from her day dream. Her face was flushed as she tried to breath out some simple words. Hannah looked at her with a confused expression before Alexandra finally spoke. "Esme Shelby has gone into labour. It's moving quickly which means you need to leave now. According to the woman on the phone, the head is already on show."

Hannah placed the tattered book that she was reading down on the desk besides her and stood up before straightening out her uniform. It had been a relaxing day up until this point, but she was sure that Esme would never give her any grief. Plus, there was a chance that she might bump into Michael and a good chat with him was what she needed.

+++

Hannah ran down the streets of Small Heath, unintentionally bumping into people and bashing them with her hard and heavy medical bag. Lots of apologies flew out of her mouth until she had succeeded in getting to the Shelby house. An older woman was waiting outside, and she recognised her as Michael's mother. Nerves started to build up as Hannah quickly ran towards the door, quickly smiling at the woman - ignoring her at the same time.

"It's early," Esme shouted once she saw Hannah walk through the living room door. Her dress was pulled up high as she rested on some pillows that Polly had placed there.

"Only by a few days, Esme. There is nothing to worry about," Hannah said with a comforting smile. "Right, let's get you checked."

Polly had made her way into the living room at this point as she eyed up Hannah. There was something interesting about the women in front of her and she had respect for Hannah, especially because of the job that she did. Not only that but Tommy had informed Polly of Hannah's fiery attitude that he had come across when she had visited him; that only increased Polly's admiration. It was rare to find people that would talk back to Tommy Shelby, even members of his own family rarely questioned him and his authority. However, Hannah had nothing to lose by standing up to the powerful man.

Polly walked over to Esme and leaned down to grab her hand. "I've been trying to stop her from pushing because the head is visible, needed her to wait for you."

Hannah raised her eyes to look at Polly and smiled before nodding. A heavy breath left Hannah's lips as she reached over to grab the gloves the medical bag. After a few more minutes of doing routine check-ups, like checking the heart beat and position of the baby, Hannah decided that it was time for Esme to start pushing.

"Are you ready, Esme?" Hannah asked as she reached to grab Esme's ankle. She pulled Esme's leg over her shoulder, giving Hannah better access to deliver the baby. "Esme, are you ready?" she repeated when Esme didn't respond.

Polly squeezed Esme's hands and brushed a bit of Esme's brown locks from her sweaty and hot forehead. "Come on, love. John is a panicking mess over there and he needs to meet his new son or daughter, so do you."

"I'm tired," the younger girl whispered, the strain of labour finally taking over her body. It was a common thing and Hannah often found herself losing her voice as she shouted for the women to continue, encouraging them as much as she could. "But yeah, I'm bloody ready."

Hannah chuckled and looked at Polly briefly. "That's it. Now, I need you to push for me as hard as you can. I predict that this baby will be out very, very soon. Just follow my instructions, alright?"

Esme nodded once again before pushing her body forward, her chin resting on her chest as she groaned and screamed through the pain, pushing as hard as she could. Hannah encouraged her to carry on, as did Polly. Hannah was rested in between Esme's legs, her elbows rested on the ruined sofa and her coat still on.

"One more push, Esme," Polly said to the girl, offering her a comforting smile to help the situation. "One more bloody push."

Esme's eyes rolled to the back of her head as she bellowed out one loud scream. A wide smile appeared on both Polly and Hannah's faces as the body of a young baby appeared in front of the three women. Esme left out a short laugh, thankful that ordeal was over and that there would be no more awful pain. Hannah reached down and grabbed the scissors before cutting the cord and holding the baby up so Esme could take another look.

"You have a baby boy," Hannah told her as she grinned from ear to ear. "A little boy."

Polly had handed Hannah a towel, leaving Hannah to wrap the crying baby up so it would stay warm. Esme was crying at this point from happiness, no longer from pain. The new mother leaned forward and took her son from Hannah's arms, quickly glancing at Polly and throwing her a quick smile.

"Another bloody boy," Polly joked, causing all three women to laugh. "I think I need to go and get John and tell him the good news. Thank you, Nurse Anderson. Thank you so much." Polly rubbed Hannah's shoulder as she walked out of the room to go and get the new father.

+++

After cleaning up the new baby and mother, Hannah had made her way outside for a well-deserved cigarette. She had missed dinner and was exhausted from all of the running about she had done. John had arrived back at his home a few minutes before Hannah had stepped outside, the same smile on his face as usual but his eyes brighter. They had decided to name the boy Edward, after a family member on Esme's side.

"You did well."

Hannah jumped at the voice but calmed herself down when she looked to the side and spotted Polly. Just like Hannah, she was smoking a cigarette as she tried to calm down after the busy day.

"Thank you."

Hannah didn't know what to say. She was in the presence of Michael Gray's mother and she didn't know if she should be scared or talkative. Michael had only mentioned Polly once and Hannah had only seen Polly once during her rushed visit to The Garrison. There was also the talk with Tommy, where he said that Polly wanted to meet Hannah for some reason. The family had obviously been speaking about Hannah, but she was unsure if it was negatively or positively. Either way, she feared the woman who was stood beside her. There was something about Polly, control and authority, signalling to Hannah that she was a strong woman and did not take any crap from anyone.

"Something has been wrong my son lately and I was wondering if you knew what it was?" Polly squinted at Hannah before sighing. "Been a bit distant, blushes whenever a certain name is brought up, constantly looking at the telephone, goes the long way home for some odd reason and is constantly round at this house in hopes of seeing somebody."

Hannah blushed and closed her eyes, ignoring the harsh stare of Polly. "From what I know, it sounds like he is trying to court somebody."

Polly hummed before smirking, no longer being able to keep up the act. She turned her body, so she was leaned against the door frame and waved her cigarette in the air. "Come on then, when are you two going out on a date? I'm getting fed up of this playing hard to get malarkey that keeps happening."

Hannah shrugged her shoulders as she profusely blushed. It was embarrassing enough having to discuss Michael with the other midwives and sisters, let alone Michael's very own mother. Polly's stare was hard as she waited for an answer, prompting Hannah to blurt out the first thing that came to her head.

"Whenever he asks me," she replied, the words sounding blunt.

"Well, I have just made a phone call to Michael and he is on his way over here. If you give him about half an hour, I'm sure he would love to talk to you."

Hannah looked at the ground; fear rising as she thought about seeing Michael again. It was mad, the effect that he had on her. The two of them had barely spoken and seen each other, one of them having to rush off after a while of chatting but there was something magical and promising about the 'relationship'.

"Yes, I would like that very much. I need to go and check on Esme now." Hannah politely smiled at Polly before walking back into the house, ignoring the smug smirk on her face.

+++

Michael Gray walked through the front door of John and Esme's house about half an hour later. At first, he did not spot Hannah (and she did not spot him), the new born baby captivating him. When he did raise his eyes and spotted Hannah in the corner of the room, writing down the babies' weight and other notes, a wide smile spread onto his face. Instantly, his heart began to race as observed Hannah's every move, watching as she stuck her tongue out a little to concentrate on getting everything perfect. Polly had noticed Michael's puppy dog eyes and admiration and a growing smirk made its way onto her face at the sight of seeing her son happy.

"Esme, I will be coming around every day to check on the baby and see how feeding - " Hannah stopped when she spotted Michael and took a deep breath before continuing. "Is going. If there's any issues, then just let me know and I will be right round here. Is there anything else that you need?" She questioned as she grabbed her medical bag.

Esme chuckled before nodding towards Michael. "I need him to ask you out on a date."

Hannah's eyes widened as she glanced at Michael who looked just as awkward. His face was growing red under the intense stare of everyone in the room.

"Erm, yeah, how does Friday sound?" Michael's voice failed him as he spoke the words. He had planned to be more romantic, or at least do it in private. John sniggered at Michael's nerves, earning him a slap around the head from Esme.

Hannah looked around the room before nodding. "Yeah, Friday sounds great."


	11. the midwife and the gangster.

Two completely different people with conflicting upbringings, joining together as one. A midwife and a gangster. It was hard to believe; even Hannah was having a hard time getting her head around it as she thought of what was ahead and how the night with Michael could go. They had just about spoken about it, just a swift exchange of address and a time and the conversation was heard by the whole of the Shelby family as they all looked at the new addition to the, already energetic, household.

Edward, the baby that Esme had given birth to, was a delight - a young baby full of life in the immoral world. However, in the days leading up to the date with Michael, when Hannah would go and visit Esme to do repetitive checks that every single midwife had to do, Esme could not concentrate in the slightest bit. Her attention span had become categorically diabolical and Esme continued to blame it on 'baby-brain'. Dinner with Michael got brought up at every opportunity and a wide grin would work its way onto Esme's face when she had succeeded in making Hannah blush like a young school girl who had just managed to secure herself a date with the boy that she had liked for many months. It was close to the way that Hannah was feeling; except, they weren't children. The two of them were grown adults and Hannah wanted the 'relationship' to be like adults, not full of playing hard to get like Hannah had previously done or ridiculousness that teenagers had. Michael was a valued man in his own way, just like Hannah was a respected woman to the mothers of Small Heath. The two of them had statuses to keep and acting like silly young lovers was not a good way to keep it intact.

The two of them would never admit it but their occupations were the love of their lives deep down. Hannah idolised the work that she did, and it was why she willing to not chase her feelings with Michael - of course, with his natural charisma, he dragged her in and Hannah fell straight into the cycle of not being able to forget about the young man. Michael was focused on becoming one of the best workers at Shelby Company Limited, much to his mother's disappointment. In the pecking order, Michael was moderately close to the bottom. He hadn't been working there that long and his mother kept him away from as much of the treacherous mess as she could, intimidating Tommy in the process. Michael was not willing to lose it all for a girl, no matter how fantastic she was. Money and power was what thrived Michael, but little did he know, that one day it would be Hannah that got him through the day, not the thoughts of accomplishment.

+++

A red dress, a cerulean dress, a white dress. Laid out on Hannah's bed was numerous dresses, all of them diverse styles, materials and colours. Hannah was stood in front of her bed, the top of her fingernail in her mouth as she apprehensively looked over the different evening dresses that she had fortunately brought over from London. They weren't the finest of dresses, or the most luxurious, but she wasn't expecting to go out on dates in Small Heath when she had first arrived in the area. Alexandra would have been the girl that Hannah went to when she needed style guidance, that being because Alexandra was unquestionably one of the most stylish girls in Birmingham. Asking Alexandra for advice on dresses would only lead to interrogations, which would then mean that the truth would be uncovered, and Hannah would once again be on the receiving end of an outburst that wasn't looked-for.

The old-fashioned clock on the wall displayed that it was looming seven at night, meaning that Michael would soon be over with plans to whisk Hannah away for the night. It was an eventful day in Small Heath, thankfully, and all the midwives - bar Alexandra (who was the most problematic to lie too) - were out with mothers-to-be or down at the hospital which was still in desperate need of staff.

Sister Maria and Sister Margaret were out meeting with different priests that worked in and around the Small Heath area. The religious foundation that everyone lived in was in desperate need of cash and fundraising was the top choice. All of this meant that Hannah was alone in the nunnery, making it enormously easy for her to sneak out without being caught and quizzed, and fortunately, Alexandra was off out doing something not particularly useful but enjoyable for herself – at least that's what Hannah thought.

"Where are you going in that pretty little white dress?"

Alexandra's voice boomed throughout the room, sending Hannah backwards slightly as she tried to calm her heart rate down. Alexandra was stood with a smirk, and some drawing that she had done down at the community centre with the cub's children, as she observed the scene in front of her.

"I'm going out." Hannah was not lying but she wasn't totally telling the truth. This was part of Hannah's private life and she wanted it to remain between herself and Michael. It would only be a matter of time before people found out about the date, this was Small Heath, and nothing could remain a secret for long. It would only take Esme to say something to one of the other mothers down at community centre during clinic day before the whole thing became public. "What are you doing tonight?"

Alexandra moved over to where Hannah was stood and pulled the zip up for her. Alexandra remained silent about Hannah's genuine whereabouts and decided not to push the subject any further, it would only cause conflict between the two best friends and neither one of them wanted that.

Alexandra finally shrugged, once she had finished zipping Hannah's dress up for her, before smiling tenderly. "I was thinking about going to the dancing club, but I have nobody to go with seen as you are dumping me for someone else. I might drag Betty down with me if she delivers this baby before nine." Alexandra pursed her lips before sitting down on the bed and grabbing hold of one of Hannah's hands. "Can you promise me something?" Hannah looked at Alexandra with confusion before nodding her head and smiling. "Promise me that you aren't going to go and see Michael. I don't want to be that person that stops you from seeing someone but he's bad news and I worry that you may lose your job because of it. The sisters have strong, negative views about the Shelby's and the rest of them. It would bring nothing but bad vibes to the convent and none of us need that at the moment, particularly with the economic problems."

Hannah gulped before nodding her head wordlessly. She couldn't speak, terrified that her voice would give away the honest blatant truth. Everyone in the convent would have to keep on being ignorant to Hannah's feelings towards Michael for longer and it was for the best, just like Hannah had thought. It was only going to be a matter of time before the truth came out, like Hannah had thought about earlier, but it would give her some time to think of a long list of reasons about why everyone should like Michael. He was different to the other Shelby's she had come across. With the rest of the Shelby's, she could sense the dark, perilous and secretive side straight away. Michael was reassuring in a peculiar way and she felt safe whenever she was around him - it was why she had gone straight into his arms after the stillborn birth.

"Promise me," Alexandra said, saying the words slowly for additional affect. She looked deeply into Hannah's eyes, trying to find out if Hannah was deceiving her but she saw nothing. Hannah, appreciatively, was a wonderful liar and the characteristic was always something that Hannah treasured when she was in circumstances like these.

"I promise."

Alexandra huffed softly, slightly gratified with the response that she had received from Hannah. "Well, on that note, I am going to have a pleasant, long bath before deciding on what I am going to do tonight. What time will you be back home?" she asked, speedily gathering her bath essentials.

Hannah looked at the timepiece, mentally noting down that it was seven and she needed to get away from Alexandra as quickly as possible, so she could sneak out to see Michael. He was due to meet her around the corner, away from suspicious eyes, and she inaudibly prayed that Michael was a man who was late frequently.

"I have no idea," Hannah answered before clutching her bag. "I will see you later, yeah?"

Alexandra hummed, acknowledging Hannah's goodbye before leaving to go towards the bathroom. Hannah waited a few moments before heading down the flight of steps and in the direction of the front door.

The night air was cold on Hannah's skin, causing her hairs to rise and stand on end. A coat would have been advantageous, but she was in a rush to get as far away from the convent as she possibly could get. If Alexandra looked out of the bathroom window, which was not likely, she would catch Hannah getting into the car with Michael which would cause nothing but awkwardness.

"Good evening." Hannah grinned as Michael pulled up in front of her.

"I hope you wasn't waiting outside for long," he said as Hannah opened the car door. Hannah shook her head and turned to look at Michael with a wide grin.

"Come on then, where are you taking me?"

Michael tilted his head to the side and pulled his lip in between his lips before smirking. "It's a surprise. It's out of Birmingham as well so no-one will see us together if you are concerned about that."

Hannah felt guilt-ridden that Michael felt the need to hide the fact that they were going on a date, but it needed to be done, even if it was painful. "That's fine, thank you," she responded, appreciating the fact that he had took her feelings and uncertainties into consideration.

Michael patted Hannah's knee before starting the designer and exclusive car up and pulling away from the convent, causing Hannah to let out a sigh of relief. The drive down to the restaurant where Michael was planning to take Hannah was moderately quiet, only a few questions asked every now and again, they mostly came from Michael. He would ask Hannah about midwifery; he wouldn't mention the gruesome parts such as actual labour but more the road to becoming a professional midwife and what was required of her. There was genuine interest written deep in his features, gesturing to Hannah that there was most more to Michael than people would ever understand.

"How is it over at the convent? Have they finally given up on trying to keep you away from me?" Michael questioned as he pulled into a parking lot. Hannah didn't have the effort to look at her surroundings and she trusted Michael enough, strangely, to know he would not take her somewhere extremely dodgy.

"They don't mention it that much anymore if I am being honest with you. I had to lie to Alexandra tonight and promise that I wasn't coming to see you, so I feel rather bad about that, but I don't think I'll lose sleep over it," she joked as she answered his question. "But... yeah, thing's at the convent are fine, I suppose."

Michael raised one eyebrow and leaned back in the leather chair, his eyes floating down Hannah's body. "You suppose?"

Hannah shrugged before chuckling softly. "There's been some issues but it's nothing that the Sister's won't sort out. They are able to talk their way out of a lot of things and nothing bad will happen, at least I don't think so."

"Money issues?"

"How did you know?" Hannah asked.

"Esme went to clinic the other day and one of the mums down there mentioned that the other midwives had been speaking about fundraising ideas, I think everyone just put two-and-two together."

"And they got four." Hannah chuckled. "Like I said, it's no big issue. Sister Maria and Sister Margaret had a meeting with some priests today to discuss ideas about how they can raise more money. Not just for the maternity home but also for the mother and baby homes and the hospital."

Hannah couldn't help but notice the face that Michael pulled when the priests were brought up in her statement, but she decided against saying anything. Michael's revulsion for priests could be for private reasons or he simply didn't agree with religion. Either way, it wasn't her place to say anything or ask unnecessary questions.

"Do you want to go inside now?" Michael asked, quickly changing the discussion before the matter could be conversed any further.

Hannah nodded and reached down into the foot well to grab her handbag (well, the one that she had pinched from Jody when she wasn't looking) before turning her attention back to Michael who was staring at Hannah with a heartening grin - a smile that showed his teeth and joyful emotions.

"You coming then?" Hannah asked, jolting her head towards the door.

"Certainly," he mumbled before fumbling with his cigarettes and car keys.

For some abnormal reason, Michael felt tremendously anxious as he clutched hold of the necessities, his hands trembling slightly. Never in his life had he felt so panicky around another woman, not even during his countryside days. Confidence was a trait that Michael always thought that he had. However, every time that he saw Hannah - whether it be in the streets or during an actual conversation - he would realise that confidence was in fact his worst trait, at least when it came to Hannah and whisking her off her feet.

+++

Hannah laughed loudly, receiving the uninvited attention of some of the fancy men and women that were seated at the neighbouring tables, at a story that Michael was telling her about his days as a farm boy in the deep end of the countryside, away from the smoulder and fog of the city.

"I used to daydream about living in the countryside," Hannah told him, a glass of wine in her hand. She had drunk far too much, and the booze was starting to get to her brain, which she would regret in the morning. Hannah hadn't properly been smashed, or tipsy, since London so her alcohol tolerance had completely disappeared. "A nice big house, a garden, bloody hell, a garden would be an absolute dream."

"You are easily pleased," Michael joked as he took a sip of his own more drink that was far too strong for Hannah. "It's not what it's cracked up to be, not really. Yeah, it's peaceful but it can also be very, very boring, I must admit."

"There's lots of pretty views though, that's a bonus."

"The views are good if you enjoy walking. Do you enjoy walking?" he asked.

Hannah scoffed before leaning forward and pointing one finger towards Michael. "It's all I ever bloody do since becoming a midwife. I must do three laps of Small Heath every single day, running from house to house with the bleeding medical bag."

Michael chuckled before shaking his head, amused with Hannah's drunkenness. He had not expected the night to go this way, but he was not complaining. A part of him wished that he could drink more but he had to be responsible for once in his life and make sure that Hannah got home safely so the nuns didn't sentence him to hell - he was already going there.

"So, how did it feel to know that you were actually related to the infamous Shelby's?" Hannah's mouth opened in counterfeit shock as she leaned back in her seat. Never in her life did she expect to feel so comfortable around Michael, but it was the alcohol doing it to her, nothing else. 

Michael pursed his lips before chuckling. "I didn't even know who they were until Tommy randomly turned up on my doorstep. Like I said, when you are in the countryside, you are isolated to the rest of the world."

"There's many bonuses of living in the countryside. Admittedly, I have never lived in the countryside, but I believe that anything is better than living in these Goddamn cities."

"Do you not enjoy Birmingham, Hannah?" Michael asked, raising one eyebrow for extra effect. The music that was playing in the elaborate and rich restaurant became brasher unexpectedly and Hannah found herself leaning forward across the table, so she could hear Michael a little better.

"It's... nice." Hannah muttered before chortling. "Do you like Birmingham?"

"I do like it now," he answered before placing one hand on top of Hannah's. "Now that I know you, of course."

Hannah blushed intensely, her cheeks dyed bright red from the remark that Michael had made. It was crazy to Hannah to know that Michael felt that way towards her.

"Well, that's nice to know," she muttered, completely mortified by her reply. In London, Hannah had a way with the boys and was able to wrap them around her little finger with her charming attitude, but Michael had an impact on her that she couldn't explain with words. Whenever she was around him, everything that she had learnt over the years would become extinct and she would always end up becoming an embarrassed, nervous mess. "Since meeting you, my world has been a mess."

Michael squinted his eyes and leaned forward until the two of them was face-to-face again, not much distance between them. "And why is that, love?"

Hannah beamed as she removed her hand from under Michael's and moved it, so it was placed on top of his own skin. Michael looked down briefly before returning his gaze to Hannah who had not spoken a word since Michael had first asked the question. She was deep in thought, that was obvious, but Michael was growing more nervous as he waited for Hannah's answer.

"I don't know how to explain it. You are all I think about and it's ruining me, Michael," she said softly, her voice gentle and calm which was a contrast to how she was feeling on the inside. "I don't mind though, I can live with it."

"Do you think good things about me or bad?"

"A mixture," she replied with honesty, yet she did not want to hurt his feelings. Hannah linked her fingers with Michael's before leaning further over and kissing his cheek; an innocent action that meant the world to Michael. "I can look past the things that your family has done, unlike others," she added, taking a slight dig towards the convent and their views and attitudes towards Michael and the Shelby family.

"Why? I don't think that my family deserve forgiveness for some of the things that they have done but then again, they do it all for a reason, not just for the fun of it."

"It's your family that has made those mistakes, done terrible things and whatever. You haven't done anything extremely bad, your family has. I'm not going to judge you for something that they've done and anyway, your family aren't even that evil. John is unbelievably hilarious, Esme is a breath of fresh air in my eyes, I have never met the other brother, your mother is petrifying but I'm sure I can get over that fear - " Hannah was cut off by Michael throwing his head back due to laughing so hard. Hannah scowled before hitting him on the shoulder gently and continuing. "Let's not even discuss Tommy, shall we? That Grace that is set to marry seems nice enough though."

Michael breathed in at the mention of Tommy's name and tutted. "Aye, I heard about your visit to Arrow House. Was he alright with you?"

Hannah raised one shoulder before huffing. "Tommy Shelby has invited me, Hannah Anderson, to his wedding."

"Are you going to accept?"

"That depends on one thing," she responded with a twinkle in her eyes. "Will you be my date?"

Michael tutted again before leaning back in his chair. The people in the restaurant were slowly starting to leave as closing time was approaching. Hannah and Michael had been so lost in conversation - and Hannah had been invested in the alcohol - that they hadn't realised the time.

"I was planning to go with another girl," he replied with a smug expression. Hannah pouted and furrowed her eyebrows before clicking onto the fact that Michael was messing around with her and for a second, Hannah thought it was a rather cruel joke, but she soon saw the funny side and decided to play along.

"That's a shame, I was planning on wearing my best dress. Michael Gray, let me tell you something." Hannah raised one hand, cutting Michael off before he could speak. "This girl that you are bringing to Thomas and Grace's wedding is nothing compared to me." Hannah finished the sentence off by dramatically turning her nose in the air.

"Is that true?"

"It's completely and utterly true, sweetheart. I think you need to make your mind up on which girl you are going to attend the wedding with because I will not be played for a fool." Hannah's voice was stern, but Michael could see the mischievous smile threatening to make itself known.

"Guess I'm stuck with you then."

"Right choice, Michael Gray, right choice."

"I think you've had too much to drink," Michael said as he waved the waiter over, so he could get the bill. Hannah clumsily reached into her handbag and grabbed her purse which Michael noticed.

"You aren't paying."

"I am paying half," Hannah demanded before throwing some money onto the table. "I am also going out for a cigarette, I will meet you out there."

Michael nodded, not wanting to put up a fight with the drunken yet hysterical woman. When he had finally paid the bill, Michael made his way out to the front of the restaurant and over to Hannah who was sat on one of the walls, smoking slowly on a cigarette as she leaned forwards and then backwards.

"Are you ready to go home?" Michael asked as he stood beside Hannah. He looked down at her and smiled when she wasn't looking, completely and utterly in awe.

Hannah nodded, the booze wearing off as she thought about the struggles that the convent was going through. She did not want to leave Small Heath, especially because she saw herself having something special with Michael. If the convent was to be shut down, then Hannah would have to move away, and it was something that she did not want at all and neither did the other midwives who had become attached to the streets of Birmingham in the weirdest way possible. Yes, they were messed up at times, but everyone adored them deep down.

"Michael, come here." Hannah patted the wall beside her and beckoned Michael over. When he had sat down, Hannah threw the cigarette on the floor and shifted her body, so she was facing Michael. There was a moment filled with awkward tension as Hannah slowly leaned in and pressed her lips against Michael's. It was something that he had wanted to do since the moment she had got into the car, looking beautiful and pure in her white dress but he feared what her reaction would be, considering she had pulled away the last time he had tried to kiss her.

The kiss that Michael and Hannah shared outside of the restaurant was not perfect (which was Hannah's fault because she was extremely tipsy, and Michael's head was one great big mess). However, it was romantic in a strange way and the two of them felt connected and poured all their feelings into the one, short kiss that they had in the midnight moonlight.


	12. accepting.

After their long, and overdue, kiss, Michael and Hannah had made their way back to the religious foundation. It was gone midnight and after the other girls at the convent had suffered from long, punishing shifts, Hannah had believed that none of them would be awake to see the kiss that her and Michael shared on the convent steps. A light was on in the upstairs bedroom, which Hannah had noticed, but she simply thought that Betty had fell asleep with the light on like she did most nights when she was awfully exhausted. However, when Hannah opened the door to the convent, the sound of footsteps running across the long hallway upstairs made her heart stop. Too happy from the night that she had lived, Hannah put the thoughts to the back of her head and thought nothing of it until the next morning when all four of the midwives were stood at the end of Hannah's bed.

"Well, someone had a busy night last night," Jodie started, her voice soft and full of worry, as if Hannah had done something terrible that she wasn't able to get herself out of.

Hannah sat up in the bed and rubbed her eyes with the back of her hand before she spotted the white dress on the floor that had a red wine stain on it. "What are you on about?" she asked, her voice sleepy and her head thrashing from the amount of wine she had poured down her throat in a desperate attempt to stop the nerves.

"Someone also had a night full of lying from the looks of things," Alexandra said, overlooking Hannah's question. Realisation hit Hannah as she grasped onto the fact that all of the girls had found out about her date with Michael. Still, Hannah raised one eyebrow and pretended to act stupid about the situation in hopes that she could get herself out of the mess. "So, how was your date with Michael Gray?"

"I don't know what you are on about," Hannah answered before taking a sip of the hot beverage that one of the girls had brought up for her, despite them probably being furious with her for going against orders. "Am I off today?"

Sophie nodded as she sat down on the bed next to Hannah, her eyes briefly glancing at the screwed-up dress on the carpet. "Don't lie to us, please. We already know the truth," she said, which finally made Hannah sigh and acknowledge defeat. She couldn't worm her way out of this one, the girls had seen her kiss Michael so all she could do was accept the fact that she had been caught out and face the penalties.

"It was nice, really nice," Hannah said as her hand gripped the tea cup harder. She tilted her head to the side and smiled more to herself than anyone else. "He took me to this lovely Italian restaurant on the outskirts of Birmingham. He tried to pay for everything, but I demanded that I paid half and then, you know, we kissed."

"Yes, we saw," Alexandra said, a wide smirk coming onto her face. "I'm quite angry with you. Mostly because you lied to me and I don't like that but the two of you did look quite cute outside."

A girly giggle left Hannah's left as she bit the bottom of her lip. "He's offered to donate money to the convent which will hopefully allow us to get out of this financial situation. I know that the Sister's probably won't accept it, no matter how badly we need it, but it's the thought that counts and I think it was rather sweet of him."

Hannah thought she was being silly for a second, but she swore that a smile broke its way onto all the girls faces, the lot of them appreciating Michael's generous gesture. It was as if they were finally accepting that Hannah was a grown woman, even if she was one of the youngest midwives in Small Heath. She could understand where they were coming from: they were overly protective and just wanted the best for Hannah.

"Is another date in order then?" Alexandra asked with a giggle, unexpectedly enthusiastic about her best friend dating a Shelby. Hannah had dreaded this moment for days, only for it to turn out completely fine.

Hannah nodded before jumping up onto her knees, after she had placed the cup of tea down. "It's Thomas and Grace's wedding in a couple of weeks and I've been invited as Michael's date so that's something exciting, I guess."

"You guess?" Sophie shrieked. "You are almost a Shelby."

Hannah frowned before bursting out into a loud laughter. "I doubt it. Who knows what will happen in the future?" Hannah paused before looking down at the quilt cover, her fingers fiddling with the loose ends of the old, worn-out material. "Are you lot genuinely happy for me or is this some fake act to try and please me?"

All the midwives stared at each other for a moment before Alexandra, of course, popped up. "Yes, we are happy for you. It's not perfect and will cause trouble but we can't stop you from being with the man that you love, even if he is a Shelby."

"I just don't want Sister Margaret to find out," Hannah muttered, her eyes dancing over the walls to keep her cool. A sharp intake of breath from Jodie brought Hannah out of the trance. "Don't tell me she already knows."

"She overheard us talking about your kiss with Michael before breakfast. I'm sure you'll get a visit from her soon," Jodie said softly, her eyes filled with responsibility. "We didn't intentionally drop you in it, I hope you understand that."

Hannah waved one hand in the air before chuckling. "No, it's fine. This was bound to happen sooner or later and hopefully Michael's offer to contribute money might bring them around to the idea in the end."

+++

Hannah was a fool to believe that the Sister's would welcome Michael with open arms. It was false hope that kept Hannah going throughout the day as she waited for the signal that Sister Margaret and Sister Maria wanted to talk to her. For most of the afternoon, Hannah stayed upstairs in bed and planned an elaborate story that would hopefully get her off the hook for defying guidelines. However, she couldn't think of anything that would worm her way out of the state of affairs so in the end, she decided on just telling the truth and being honest with the Sister in hopes that she would be let off.

It was four in the afternoon, an hour before dinner was due to be served, when Betty walked into the bedroom with a compassionate smile on her face. It was at that moment that Hannah knew that her job, as well as her reputation, was at risk. With a loud and heavy sigh, Hannah placed the book she was reading on her bedside table before walking out of the bedroom with a temper - Betty didn't even need to speak, Hannah already knew what was coming and it was either going to be the end of her career in Small Heath or a long lecture about being decent in society.

Hannah walked straight into the office, not bothering to knock. She wanted the chat to be over and done with as quickly as possible, so she could go back to reading the book that had been keeping her engaged and distracted. Both Sisters were at the desk, waiting tolerantly for Hannah's entrance.

"Hannah, it's good to see you," Sister Maria started, an untruthful smile placed on her face as she tried to keep calm in front of Sister Margaret. Out of the two of them, Sister Margaret was the gentler one and she was most likely to be merciful on Hannah for going against orders. However, Sister Maria was a strict woman with appalling opinions of the Shelby's and with her in the room, it would only make things worse. "How was your night last night?"

Sister Margaret shook her head at Sister Maria's words before pointing towards the chair that was on the other side of the desk. "I'm sure you are aware of why we have brought you here today and what we want to discuss with you."

Hannah gulped before nodding. "Yes, I am fully aware, and I am willing to face the consequences. However, I would like to say my peace first."

The two Sister's looked at each other before nodding, giving Hannah authorisation to speak before she could get told off.

"I respect what the two of you do and how you have built this convent up from nothing in order to provide for the mothers of Small Heath and that is something I adore about you both. However, you are not my mothers, you are simply my bosses." Hannah took in a deep breath before continuing, her eyes not daring to meet Sister Maria who was possibly sat with an annoyed look on her face. "I can be seen stepping out with whoever I want to be seen with. Me, dating Michael Gray, does not affect my work in the slightest. I am still a midwife, I am still a nurse and I am still willing to continue my services here in Small Heath, that is if you will have me."

"But - "

Hannah raised one hand, silencing Sister Maria. "I don't know if anything is going to come out mine and Michael's relationship, but I am willing to see at how far things will go. I do not want to wake up in twenty-years and regret something that could have been. I will not have you dictate my life and tell me who I can and cannot be seen with outside of work hours and outside of these convent doors. I am my own person and I hope that you can accept that."

Hannah's heart was beating rapidly as she waited for the responses of the Sister's. There was silence for a few moments as the two nuns in front of Hannah tried to digest the words that Hannah had peacefully spoke. It was Sister Maria who piped up first, obviously.

"He is a dangerous man."

"That is where you are wrong, Sister Maria. Michael's family, even then only some of them, are dangerous people," Hannah corrected, a smile threatening to work its way onto her face. "The last time I checked, I was dating Michael, not his entire family."

"The whole family is corrupt and it's only a matter of time before you get dragged into the dangerous world. Is it really worth it?" Sister Maria shrieked, her arms waving around in the air as she tried to make sense of the situation. It was shocking in her mind to think that a well-thought-of, young woman with a good job would want to be seen with Michael Gray, a man surrounded by misery and death.

Hannah closed her eyes as she tried to gather her last bit of tolerance before she blew up and ended up saying things that she would regret in the long run when she was without a job and homeless.

"He's offering to donate money to the convent which would help us massively in the long run and provide us with enough new medical equipment for at least a year," Hannah told them, to which Sister Margaret perked up. However, Sister Maria interrupted before Sister Margaret could say anything.

"We don't want any of their money," she spat, her tone filled with malice and detestation. For a holy woman, who was meant to not judge and love her neighbours, Hannah was shocked at the level of disgust that Sister Maria felt towards the Shelby family and the rest of the peaky blinders. To a certain extent, Hannah could understand Sister Maria's view. The Shelby's were a dangerous family who ran a criminal business, but Sister Maria judged far too harshly before finding out facts and getting to know the people who were apparently awful.

"Well, the offer is there in case you ever decide you need it. I'm sure Michael would be willing to put it away for us," Hannah responded, not letting her anger get the better of her. Hannah was a good woman, despite what Sister Maria believed, and she wasn't going to live up to the sister's poor expectations of her.

Sister Margaret, who had been surprisingly calm and silent throughout the conversation, raised one hand in the air before Sister Maria could speak any more damaging words that could upset others.

"I have been thinking about it all day, I even spoke to the other midwives about the situation and after a lot of thinking, I am not going to stop you from dating Michael - "

"Are you joking?" Sister Maria asked, her voice trembling with rage.

"No, I am not. The other midwives say that you are enormously happy whenever you have seen Michael and I do not want to ruin that happiness for you. Like you said yourself, we are your bosses, not your mothers and we have to let you make your own mistakes." It was almost condescending, but Hannah didn't care, she was just thankful that she had Sister Margaret's blessing. "However, I will not have him step foot in this house, ever. Is that understood?"

"Loud and clear," Hannah said, a wide grin on her face. "Thank you, thank you so much."

Sister Margaret allowed Hannah to leave the office, her poor self now having to deal with Sister Maria's rage who was furious about the blessing, but Hannah couldn't care less as she ran down the hallway and towards the front door.

"Guessing it went well then," Betty said as she watched Hannah quickly put on some shoes that didn't even belong to her, she was just too eager to get out of the house, so she could go and see Michael finally.

"It could have gone worse, it could have gone better. Either way, I have managed to get Sister Margaret's blessing and she is allowing me to date Michael. I think that Sister Maria is going to take some persuading though." Hannah giggled as she sat down on the step to tie her shoe laces. "Good luck at dinner. Sister Maria is on one right now and I'm sure you lot will be on the receiving end of her anger. I'd go and check that Jody has cleaned the medical cupboard properly."

Betty rolled her eyes playfully before gently hitting Hannah on the shoulder once she had stood up. "That's it, you go off and be in love for the night while we deal with Sister Maria."

Hannah shrugged one shoulder before laughing. her happiness evident from a mile away. With a quick goodbye, Hannah rushed off down the street to seek out the notorious betting shop where her lover would be.

+++

Michael's face was a picture when he spotted Hannah walking into the betting shop, ignoring the confused stares of the customers and other workers as she tried to find Michael in the crowd. For a small house, it could hold a lot of people and the noise was ear-splitting.

"What are you doing here?" A larger hand gripped onto Hannah's arm and dragged her away from the stares and into an office. Hannah recognised the voice as Michael, so she wasn't alarmed about being dragged away into a separate room. "Not that I'm complaining, of course." Michael's eyes drifted down Hannah's body without him even realising and licked his lips slightly until he reached Hannah's shoes and he let out a chuckle.

"What?" Hannah asked, ignoring his first question as she was self-conscious about Michael laughing at her when he was meant to be admiring her dress, at least that's what she thought.

"Interesting shoe combination." Michael pointed towards Hannah's shoes with another a chuckle and the midwife's eyes followed his own, groaning loudly when she spotted two odd shoes. "Are you drunk?"

"No, I am not drunk," she said, gently hitting his arm. "I was just in a rush to get here because I have some very good news that benefits the both of us."

Michael raised one eyebrow before placing his hands-on Hannah's waist, walking her backwards until the bottom of her back gently hit the wooden desk. Michael then moved so he was stood in between her thighs, giving him the perfect view of her beautiful face.

"Sister Margaret has said that I can date you openly which means that we don't need to sneak around anymore. You aren't allowed in the convent at all but I don't really care about that if I am being honest with you because I would much rather be in your company in a place where I can openly kiss you and chat to you about whatever I want," Hannah rambled, not thinking about the words she was speaking until Michael raised one eyebrow again. "I'm sorry, you don't have to kiss me," she quickly added, a hot blush rising onto her cheeks.

Michael tutted before sucking in some air. "Maybe I want to kiss you," he said, his face moving closer to Hannah's.

A sudden burst of confidence had Hannah leaning closer until her lips were ghosting over Michael's. After a few seconds of looking at each other, Michael made the final move and pressed his lips against Hannah's in a bruising kiss. Instantly, Hannah's hands were wrapped around Michael's hair as she tried to get even closer to the man. Michael groaned into Hannah's mouth, the feeling on her tugging on his hair getting him more excited than he would ever admit, before moving his hand to behind Hannah's neck where he rested it for the duration of their heated kiss.

Hannah had kissed men before, but they would never compare to Michael and his skilled mouth and tongue. He had Hannah shaking against the table as she pushed the kiss further, even daring to push her tongue past his plump lips, so she could taste him. If she wasn't so high on happiness, Hannah probably would have never acted like this, especially in a public place where anyone could have walked into the office and seen the two in an explicit position but all of that went out of Hannah's head as she moved her hand down Michael's chest.

"Hannah, stop," Michael whispered, sadly pulling away from Hannah's lips. However, Hannah wasn't finished, and she leaned forward for more, only to have Michael gently push on her chest. "Not here, darling."

Hannah blinked a few times before running a hand over her face. "I'm sorry, I never should have acted like that," she admitted, embarrassment written all over her face.

Michael shook his head before placing an innocent kiss against Hannah's forehead. "I want to make love to you but not here, not now."

"When?" Hannah hesitantly asked, shocked at her own words. She had never been so forward with a man before but there was something about Michael and she wanted to do as much as she possibly could with him before it was too late.

"On the night of Tommy's wedding, when we are alone and have our own bedroom. I promise that it will be then."


	13. the garrison.

After delivering Maxine Oldfield's baby, all Hannah wanted to do was get home before her eyes closed themselves because of the exhaustion that she was feeling. It had been an extensive delivery, but there were no difficulties thankfully and after ten hours of sitting on the bed, or with her knees on the floor, the thought of her soft and comfortable bed was all that was getting her through the delivery.

However, when she stepped out of the old, worn-out building, Hannah was surprised to see Michael stood by the steps. With a confused look on her face, Hannah walked over to Michael who was facing away from her and placed both of her hands on his shoulders, startling him a little.

"Jesus, you nearly gave me a heart attack," he mumbled as if he turned around. Michael didn't waste any time and he was soon kissing Hannah, essentially sweeping her off her feet. It had been a few days since they had last spoken to each other due to Hannah's demanding timetable, so she was grateful to see him after a long day.

"How did you know I was here?" Hannah asked once she had pulled away from the passionate kiss.

"Maxine's husband, Peter, works for us and he told me that you were the midwife that would be delivering their baby when the time came. When Peter didn't turn up to work today, I clicked on and got him to give me hourly updates about the baby, so I knew when to come and wait for you," Michael explained. "I've been waiting here for two hours."

Hannah let out a small chuckle before wrapping her arms around Michael's midriff. "You didn't have to wait that long for me, you know?"

Michael shrugged. "It was worth the wait."

The two of them started to stride through the shadowy streets, towards The Garrison. Hannah was so invested in Michael as she listened to him talk about the demanding day that he had that she didn't even notice that they had completely skipped the convent and was heading towards the pub that she had only visited once. When the pub came into view, Hannah stepped back and shook her head.

"I cannot be seen in that pub again after the last time," she said, speaking the words unhurriedly. "Look at me, I look absolutely appalling."

Hannah was still in her uniform and her wavy hair was falling down, covering her face and drenched in sweat. Her uniform was covered in bodily fluids and fragments of blood. If she was about to meet Michael's family properly, then she wanted to look respectable.

Michael shook his head before grabbing hold of Hannah's hands. "I think that you look absolutely bloody beautiful," he said as he walked backwards towards the door, dragging Hannah along with him. "The most beautiful woman in Small Heath."

Hannah frowned before chuckling. "You are lying to me." Michael didn't respond. He just dragged Hannah forwards and placed his lips on hers. "Michael," she whispered as Michael moved down to her neck, pressing light and intimate kisses to the sensitive skin. "Oi." Hannah's hand rose to his chest as she pushed him away. "No marks."

Michael whined quietly before pulling away with a pout. "Can't wait for Tommy's wedding ceremony."

Hannah rolled her eyes before slanting her head to the side, a mischievous grin on her face. "We could do it before Tommy's wedding," she mumbled, one hand moving to fiddle with the button's that were on Michael's coat.

As much it wounded him, Michael wouldn't sleep with Hannah before the wedding. He wanted it to be intimate and away from others, in their own bedroom, in the extremely large house. Polly was almost always at the house nowadays, doing business from the privacy of her own home and barely ventured out to the betting shop unless it was for an imperative meeting. They would have no privacy at the home that he shared with his mother and he didn't want his first time with Hannah to be in the middle of the betting shop with plenty of men outside of the office doors who could listen in on the two of them.

"No, love." Michael ignored Hannah's annoyed expression as he rubbed the pad of his thumb along her cheek. "It will be worth the wait."

"Is that right?" Hannah raised one eyebrow. "Well, I can't wait for Tommy and Grace's wedding."

Michael nodded once before pointing towards The Garrison's doors, signalling that he wanted to go inside. "I already told everyone that you would be coming, and Esme is delighted to see you, especially because her mother offered to have the kids for the weekend and I think this is the first time she will be getting drunk since getting pregnant. My mum wants to speak to you as well, says she has some things to discuss." Michael noted the terrified facial expression that you had when he mentioned his mother and mentally laughed. "It will be fine, and I promise that no one will make you uncomfortable."

Hannah tapped her foot on the ground a few times before nodding as she didn't want to let Michael down. It was clear to her that meeting his family was important to Michael and deep down, a small part of her wanted to get to know the notorious family members and find out if the rumours were true. She had met most of the family beforehand, either after the birth of Esme or in the streets. The only member that she hadn't met was Arthur, but Michael claimed that was because Arthur spent most of his time at the church with his new partner, Linda.

The Garrison was louder than Hannah remembered but then again, she couldn't remember much from the first time she had stepped foot inside of the unruly building. It had been a blurry night full of heartache and realisation about the world that she lived in but thanks to Michael, she was able to get herself away from the dark place that her mind had took her too. The Garrison wasn't the pleasantest of pubs and were enormously different to the ones that Hannah had visited in London, but she could sense the community solidarity and immediately, she felt welcome. That was also become she was on Michael's arm and no one would dare say a bad word against her or try something that they would end up regretting when they were on the receiving end of Michael's rage.

"Do you want a drink?" Michael asked, having to shout over the loud chatter of the drunken men.

"Michael, where is my medical bag?" Hannah asked, completely disregarding his question. Michael began to laugh loudly as Hannah looked around The Garrison with her eyes, despite not having it when she first walked. "God, why am I so stupid?"

"First you wore odd shoes and now you've left your medical bag at Peters." Hannah could see Michael try to contain his laughter as he grabbed hold of Hannah's hand. "Love, don't worry about it. I'll get someone to run around to Peter's and collect it for you and then they can drop it off at the house, so we can collect it on our way home."

Hannah sighed before running a hand over her face. "I'm sorry, I am just so tired," she admitted.

Michael felt bad for dragging Hannah along to the pub, but he was keen for her to meet the family and he was also desperate to spend time with her. They had been apart for just over three days and that was far too long for Michael, he wanted to spend every single day of his life in the presence of Hannah.

"You are too funny, and you don't even realise it," he replied. Michael walked over to a guy that was sat at one of the tables with a pint of lager in his hand. Hannah followed, feeling too awkward to stand unaccompanied, and waited for Michael to finish speaking to the gentleman. Within a minute, the man was grabbing his coat and giving Hannah a hasty smile before walking out of The Garrison doors. "He is going to get your bag," Michael told you before pecking your lips. The public display of affection made Hannah blush slightly but also grin as she saw people watch the two of them closely. Hannah was proud to be on the arms of Michael and she didn't care about the judgements of others, including the Sister's. For the first time in a long time, Hannah was content, and it was all down to Michael. "Now, do you want a beverage?"

"I think I will just have a bitter lemon," she responded, a little self-conscious by her drinks choice.

"Are you sure that you don't want anything stronger, love?" Michael asked as he walked over to the bar. Before he had even reached the wooden surface, people were moving out of the way, producing a space for Michael and Hannah. "You can have whatever you want, and it is the end of your shift, so I think you should treat yourself to something stronger."

The offer was enticing, and Hannah was craving a large glass of red wine, but she had to think about what her actions would be if she got drunk. The last time she had drank wine, she had forced herself onto Michael with a messy kiss outside of the Italian restaurant - not that Michael was complaining about it.

"You have tempted me, Michael Gray. I will have a very, very large red wine," she said, finally admitting defeat as she leaned against the sticky and wet counter due to spilled drinks. Michael chuckled before shouting over the barman who quickly hurried to get the drinks once Michael had given him the order. "Where is everybody?" Hannah asked when she realised that she had not seen any of the Shelby's.

"Backroom," Michael answered as he played with a coaster, his head nodding towards two doors in the far corner. Hannah could briefly remember seeing some of the Shelby family members in that room when she appeared after an unpleasant night. "You ready?"

Hannah grabbed her drink before nodding and following Michael's footsteps which led to the backroom. Hannah's anxieties were through the roof and in her head, she was doing her hardest to calm herself down. Hannah had no reason to be panicky, she knew this. Esme was a close friend of hers, the connection that they had built during Esme's pregnancy was pretty much indestructible and Hannah could see herself continuing to be friends with Esme in the long run. Her main fear was Tommy, especially after the run in that she had with him only a few weeks before. It was awkward, and Hannah had never spoken to anyone in that manner before and even then, she didn't even speak to him maliciously. Hannah was also terrified to speak to Polly again. Even though Michael had claimed approximately twenty times that Polly could be lovely once she had got used to the person, it didn't stop Hannah from worrying that she would be disowned by the older woman. Arthur, who she had never met, was a sensitive soul according to Alexandra but also a troubled man with a lot of deep issues, mostly from the War. The combination of the different types of personalities in the family sent Hannah into a frenzy as she tried to figure out how she should act around them.

"Just be yourself and they will love you," Michael said almost as if he could sense what Hannah was thinking.

Squeezing her hand gently. Michael opened the door to the backroom and stepped inside, Hannah trailing behind. Instantly, Esme was jumping up from her seat, noticeably drunk, and was tossing her arms around Hannah's neck as she embraced her forcefully.

"I have missed you," she said, despite it only being a couple of days since she had last seen Esme at the consulting room. Hannah agreed with Esme, for the drunken woman's sake, before pulling away. Michael had moved to sit down next to Isaiah, the boy that she had met over at Esme and John's house. "Come and sit with me," Esme said, not giving Hannah a choice as she dragged her over to the seat. Hannah was placed in between Polly and Esme but Polly's attention was on who she presumed to be Arthur and Linda. "So, you and Michael are officially a thing then."

Hannah looked over at Michael who mouthed the word sorry before turning his attention back to Isaiah. "I guess you could say that," Hannah responded before taking a sip of the wine that was in her hand, the feeling of the alcohol sliding down her throat almost instantly calming her down.

"It's about bloody time, I will tell you that one now. I have been waiting for this to happen for freaking months," Esme said with a wide smile. "No, I truly am happy that you two are together because it means that I won't have to listen to Michael begging me anymore."

"Begging?" Hannah raised one eyebrow as she shifted her body around, so she could look at Esme better.

Esme laughed before shaking her head. "When he first learnt that you were my midwife, he would ask me almost every single day if I was going to the clinic because he wanted to come along so he could see you. Hannah, he was over at mine and John's house all the time in hopes that you would pop along to do some routine check-ups, but you always ended up missing each other."

The word's that Esme spoke made Hannah blush, this time it was noticeable. She had been completely oblivious of the fact that Michael had worshipped her since the very start and with every word that Esme spoke as she went on about how Michael would never shut up about Hannah, she could feel her feelings for the man grow stronger and stronger.

"I think he loves you," Esme said with a sharp intake of breath following. "I probably shouldn't have said that, but do I look like I care?"

"I think it's a bit too early to be chucking the word love around," Hannah said quietly.

"I agree," a voice from the side the Hannah said, she recognised it instantly. Polly was the one person that Hannah wanted to dodge, not because she was bad-mannered, she just didn't know how to talk to the woman without her legs shaking and heart beating faster than needed.

Hannah turned her head to the side and smiled respectfully at Polly before taking a large swig of her wine. John had gone up to the bar during Hannah's discussion with Esme and had brought everyone some more drinks in and Hannah could see herself getting awfully drunk before the clock had turned twelve o'clock.

"Have you just delivered a baby?" Polly asked as her eyes gliding down Hannah's distasteful and frankly revolting uniform.

"I have indeed," Hannah responded, her voice a lot softer and quieter than Polly's. "Michael told me that the father works for you, Peter Oldfield."

Polly nodded before smiling. "That's lovely." Her words were a contrast to her tone which was stern, and her words were pronounced slowly. The woman constantly looked as if she was calculating or trying to figure something out which worried Hannah as she believed that she was being scrutinised by Polly.

Hannah had started to turn around when Polly's voice perked up again, this time a lot quieter so others didn't hear the conversation.

"What are you planning to do with my son?" she asked, the question causing Hannah to twist her face into confusion: her eyebrows crinkled, her eyes closed slightly. "A good girl like you with a person like my son, the pair of you are rather random."

Hannah chuckled before shaking her head. "You'd be surprised."

Polly tried to bite back the smile and soft chuckle at Hannah's comment, but she found herself failing. The sound of his mother laughing earned Michael's attention and he looked over at the two women that he adored: his mother and his best friend. For the first time in a long time, Michael felt like the luckiest man in Small Heath as he watched Hannah continue the conversation with Polly and he noted that she was becoming less nervous as the friendlier side of Polly came to play.

"You alright?" Isaiah questioned, nudging his mate in ribs to earn his attention. Finn began to snigger when Michael didn't answer. "Is he alright?" Isaiah asked Finn jokingly.

"He's in love," Finn responded with a smug grin.

"I am not in love." Was all that Michael said, his eyes not even moving to look at the two lads. "Not yet, anyway."

"But you will be?"

Michael turned his head to the side before grinning. "Most definitely."

+++

The rest of the night went smoothly with Hannah interacting with every family member, including Tommy and Arthur. Tommy was more comfortable in the safety of his back room, chatting to Hannah about midwifery and the wedding that was rapidly approaching, sending goose bumps across her body as she thought about what was to come on the night.

"You alright?" Michael asked as the two of them walked hand and hand down the dark streets towards the betting shop where her medical bag would be waiting for her.

Hannah nodded and squeezed Hannah's hand. "Yeah, it wasn't as bad as I expected if I am being completely honest. They are a nice group of people."

"Just don't get on the wrong side of them," Michael said light-heartedly. "I don't know if this is too soon, but do you want to stay at mine?"

Hannah's heard stopped for a second as thought about Michael's proposal. She was on the late shift the next day, working through the night so it wouldn't be an issue if she did. The judgement from the Sister's was making her hesitant but it was what she wanted.

"I think so." The answer was not convincing enough for Michael, so he stopped in the middle of the street and turned Hannah around with his large hands before resting them on the top of the arms.

"You don't have to stop if you don't want to, it was just an idea and we don't have to share a bed or anything," he said, hoping that it would fully convince Hannah.

"I'd like to share a bed with you," she replied finally after a few moments of silence. Michael smiled at the ground and tried not to show too much emotion.

"Shall we continue our walk then?"

Hannah nodded before standing up on her tip toes to press a gentle kiss against Michael's cheek. He smiled at the action and allowed to his head to tilt, his own cheek brushing against Hannah's.


	14. the wedding.

Waking up in Michael's arms was something that Hannah could get used to. The feeling of his warm skin relaxed against her stomach as he breathed in and out slowly was paradise and the craving to be around Michael only grew with every passing second. Slowly sitting up in bed, Hannah shifted so the sheets covered her body that was only clothed with one of Michael's work shirts, the material hanging from her frame as she observed his slumbering body, her heart bursting with joy.

She loved him.

Over the months of knowing Michael, Hannah always knew that there was something there, but she hadn't expected it to turn into love so quickly. The previous night at the bar, she had shut down the claims that she was in love with Michael and that he was in love with her, but the reality was, they did love each other dearly. It wasn't some school-girl crush, it was real.

"Are you staring at me?" Michael asked as he lazily opened one eye.

Hannah let out a breath of air before leaning down to kiss Michael on the cheek. "Yes, I was and I'm not sorry about it."

Michael chuckled before rolling over onto his back. "Don't worry about it. I watched you sleep for a while last night."

As he spoke, Hannah wondered if Michael was in love with her as well and if in the dead of night, when there was nothing but the sound of drunken men stumbling home or owls flying around the sky, he had realised his love for her. It was a fear of hers, had been since she was a youngster, that she would fall in love with a man at a rapid pace, just for them to not love her back. The feelings began to stir at the bottom of her stomach as she watched Michael light a cigarette for herself and one for him.

"I didn't realise that Tommy's wedding was coming up so quickly. I'll need to ask Sister Margaret if I can have the day off or swap shifts with one of the other nurses," Hannah said after deciding that she wasn't going to tell Michael that she loved him, at least not yet. It was something that could wait until Hannah was completely sure that Michael felt the same way.

"Two weeks, isn't it?" If Michael was being completely honest, he had kept away from the wedding planning and only listened when it involved him or Hannah. Grace was hastily trying to get the last things together, sort the dresses and catering out as well as arrange for her family to travel over to Birmingham from Ireland.

"Correct." Hannah sighed before dropping her free hand to Michael's. "It's going to be good, I can feel it."

Michael laughed loudly before shaking his head. "I can tell that you've never been to a Shelby event."

Hannah blushed before shrugging. "Well, here's the first to many more." Hannah raised the hand that was holding the cigarette and Michael copied her action.

"Oh, indeed."

+++

Two weeks later, after a lot of smooth-talking and pleading, Hannah was making her way over to the wedding ceremony in Michael's car. She had decided to try and not wear one of the uninteresting dresses that she brought down from London. So, with Alexandra by her side, Hannah had gone in Birmingham's main city centre and picked out the grandest dress that she could find with the budget that she had. Michael had kindly offered to put money towards the outfit, but Hannah declined.

Both Hannah and Michael had spent almost every day with each other since the night at The Garrison. On her days off, herself and Michael would travel into the countryside and have a picnic if the weather was somewhat reasonable - which usually it wasn't so they huddled in the car to keep warm with a few sandwiches that Polly had made - or Hannah would go over to the betting shop and help Michael with the statistics, him teaching her the ways of the Blinder's. Sister Margaret and Sister Maria had stopped questioning Hannah about Michael and allowed to her date him without restrictions, with the one firm rule that he didn't enter the convent.

Of course, the two of them had broken the rule when the convent was unoccupied, and Hannah knew that everyone would be gone for a long time, at least that's what she thought. Halfway through kissing on the kitchen table, Hannah sat on the wooden surface and Michael stood in between her thighs, the front door had opened, and Sister Maria's voice roared through the hallways as she spoke about a disturbing birth. Luckily, Michael was quick on his feet and had managed to sneak out through the back door before Sister Maria had spotted him. Hannah had to quickly wipe her lips and sort out her pinafore as she made conversation with the authoritative figure that could make her jobless and homeless at any moment.

"Are you nervous?" Michael inquired, quickly glancing in Hannah's direction before turning her attention to the road. "I am."

Michael wasn't talking about the wedding, he was speaking about the intimate night they would share when all the celebrations were over. Hannah was more than nervous, in fact petrified. She had never been with another man passionately, her focus in London was her work, not boys. The furthest she had gone with some crude groping and messy kisses in the corner of a club.

"Yes," she replied with honesty, her eyes not meeting Michael's as she stared out of the window at the country road. The bottom of her dress was calming her down as she fiddled with the exclusive material. "Make sure that I don't drink a lot otherwise nothing will happen tonight," she kidded.

Michael huffed before side-eyeing Hannah. "We don't want that now, do we?"

Hannah shook her head. "No, we don't."

Michael looked down at the leather seat for a second before blinking a few times. "Hannah, I l - "

"We are here," she interrupted, quickly identifying what Michael was going to say. Even though she left the same way, Hannah did not want to hear the words that would make everything become a whole lot more real. The time that they had been spending together was perfect, more than perfect, and she wanted it to last forever, but she still feared that everything would go wrong once they had established their love for each.

Michael sighed softly before opening his car door. Hannah had already stepped out of the expensive car and was making her way around to Michael's side, so she could grab onto his hand. Despite being in the attendance of his family many times, Hannah still worried about her wellbeing whenever she was around them. It was something that would pass but every time she thought that she was getting over the fact that they were immoral individuals, one of the mothers at the clinic would tell Hannah another story about the Shelby's and tell her to stay away from Michael - news about their relationship had travelled fast. Hannah had dismissed most of the stories and had told people to keep their nose out of her business but some of the things that she was told loitered in the back of her head.

"Hannah," Esme yelled as she ran over to her friend. Hannah good-humouredly rolled her eyes at Michael before embracing Esme in a hug. "Michael, you look dashing."

"Don't tell John hear you say that," Michael joked causing all three people to chuckle out loud. "Is everybody already inside?"

Esme nodded before looking back at the impressive building. "Just waiting on Grace to arrive so I would get in there and find your places soon."

Both Michael and Hannah nodded at Esme's comment and made their way inside of the beautiful building that Tommy and Grace had picked out for their wedding ceremony. Inside was just as lovely; the Shelby's on one side of the room and Grace's family on the other, all dressed in their cavalry uniforms.

"John isn't going to be happy about that," Michael said, referring to the men in uniform.

Hannah remained silent as she walked up the stairs and towards the seats that had been reserved for herself and Michael. Sat beside her was Linda, who Hannah had only spoken to a handful of times. The woman was looking down at her hands, as if she was trying to figure something out. When she noticed Hannah's stares, Linda gave her a quick smile before looking ahead at her husband who was stood at the top of the altar with Tommy.

"You alright?" Michael asked as he placed his hand on Hannah's thigh. With a quick smile, Hannah nodded before turning her attention away from Michael as she tried to collect her own thoughts. "Hannah..."

"Yes?"

"Are you angry at me?" Michael asked, his voice soft and child-like.

Instantly, Hannah felt bad for cutting Michael off in the car when he was about to announce his love for her. "No, not at all." Hannah placed her hand on top of Michael's and leaned over to kiss him unhurriedly, earning a groan from John who had sat down next to Michael.

"Fucking lovebirds," he muttered before smirking.

+++

"What do you call an animal with a prick halfway up it's back?" John looked around as he waited for someone to answer, a wide grin on his face. "A cavalry horse."

Hannah began to laugh at John's joke, easily entertained but trailed off when she noticed that no-one else was laughing. With an awkward cough, Hannah sat up straight in her chair and bit her lip as she waited for the empty plates to be taken away.

"This is why you are my favourite, Hannah," John said before raising his glass.

Hannah could sense Michael's smirk as he looked down at his lap, shaking his head. "Don't encourage him," he whispered to Hannah jokingly.

"He's a funny guy," Hannah responded as she tried to stop herself from laughing about the joke once more. She could already feel the harsh stares of Grace's family on her, possibly judging Hannah for laughing at the dig that John had made but she couldn't help it, John's humour was infectious, and nobody could deny the fact that he was a funny lad.

"I - "

Michael was cut off by Ada Shelby - the only Shelby sibling that Hannah hadn't met. She was a glamorous women and Hannah could see Ada and Alexandra getting on like a house on fire. However, Hannah had kept her distance and waited for Ada to make the first move. From what she had heard, Ada was a political woman, a mother and a widower which was the completely different to Hannah who had not been brought up around politics or even learnt about it.

"It's lovely to finally meet you, Hannah. My Aunt has told me a lot about you." Ada held her hand out for Hannah to shake and smiled as she took a sip on her Gin. "Now, what is a gorgeous girl like you doing with him?"

"Alright, Ada," Michael said before sighing.

"It's a joke," Ada responded, emphasising each word. "I've heard that you are a midwife which is nice. You've seen a lot of poverty?"

"Ada," Polly warned, her voice strict. "I'm sure that Hannah doesn't want to discuss politics at a party."

"I honestly don't mind," Hannah said, speaking up for herself. It would be nice to learn about politics and Ada's political views.

"No, honestly, don't do it. Ada will be following you around for the rest of the night discussing socialism with you," Michael whispered in Hannah's ear with a quick roll of the eyes. "And we have other things that we want to be doing, don't we?"

Ada leaned over Hannah's body and hit Michael's shoulder forcefully. "I'd prefer it if you didn't whisper about me behind my back. Anyways, there is a man over there who is willing to discuss politics with me, so I will go and speak with him instead without being judged. Hannah, it really has been lovely to see you and if you are ever down in London, let me know and you can come and stay at mine. That way, I can teach you about all things Marxism without being ridiculed for it."

Ada left after the melodramatic speech, throwing her head over her shoulder to give Michael a dirty look before sauntering over to an untrustworthy looking man who looked out of place compared to the other people at the festivity.

"You'll get used to her eventually," Polly joked as she watched her Niece. "Do you have any brothers and sisters, Hannah?"

Hannah shook her head. "I'm an only child."

"Lucky for some," John said, joining the conversation before leaving again to make more digs at the Irish men and women that were sat across from the rest of the Shelby's and blinders.

Michael's hand was resting on Hannah's thigh, his fingers wondering up and down at slow movements. It had been rested there for over half an hour, an innocent action that hadn't turned to lust until that moment. Hannah glanced down at Michael's hand and watched as it slowly pulled up the material of her expensive dress. Of course, Michael remained as suave as ever as he chatted to his mother about Ada and the business.

"Are you alright, Hannah?" Polly asked as she noted the younger girl's silence. Hannah looked up at Polly before gulping, her eyes flickering over to Michael who was looking down at Hannah was fake concern.

"I'm fine, thank you. Do you know where the bathroom is?" Hannah managed to get out, ignoring the well-hidden smirk on Michael's face that only she had clicked onto.

"Mary is outside, she will take you," Grace said, overhearing Hannah's question.

Hannah bowed her head once, gesturing that she had heard Grace's question before forcefully pushing Michael's hand away. A small grunt flew out of his lips, earning the attention of Polly but luckily, she didn't question anything.

"Thank you," she said, her voice barely audible and a smile on her face before giving Michael daggers for his mischievous behaviour. "I won't be long."

Michael watched as Hannah walked away from the long table that was filled with conversation about different topics, his eyes not leaving hers until she had successfully walked away with Mary.

"Michael," Polly said, grabbing the attention of her son. "Go after her."

With a puzzled look on his face, Michael shook his head. "I don't need to follow her to the toilet."

Polly sighed before scrunching her eyebrows together and scoffing. "You are a fool, boy. There is obviously something wrong with her and I suggest that you go and find out what is it before she begins to think that you don't care about her."

With a roll of his eyes, Michael scraped his chair away from the table and placed his napkin on the surface. No one turned their attention to Michael as he stomped away from the area, everyone invested in their own discussions about either the wedding or the business. Polly watched as her son walked away, a firm look on her face until he could no longer be seen.

Esme leaned over John and the table slightly, so she could speak to Polly without others hearing. "What was all that about?" she asked, her voice low.

Polly shrugged her shoulders before pressing her lips into a thin line. "I don't think it's going to work out, Esme. He is happy, and I am glad that she makes him happy, but something is going to break them up, I can feel it."

"You don't know that - "

"I do," Polly interrupted, her expression hard and strict.

Esme sighed before sitting back in her chair, not having the effort to argue with Polly. Even though Polly wasn't optimistic about the relationship between Hannah and Michael, Esme was. When she looked at the two of them, she saw love. From the way that they held each other's hand with Michael's thumb rubbing against the top of Hannah's hand, how Michael would constantly move his eyes over to Hannah, making sure that she was okay in certain situations - it was love.

+++

It took Michael a while to find the bathroom, due to the fact there was many in the house because of Tommy's need to own an over-the-top country home, despite there only being three people who lived there. Just as he had arrived outside of the bathroom, Hannah was walking out, causing the two of them to bump into each other.

"Michael," she said with a gulp. "Why did you come and find me?"

Michael placed his hands in his suit pockets before leaning back on the heels of his shoe. "Me mum told me to come and look for you, I don't know why. I reckon that she thinks that you are upset but you would tell if you were, wouldn't you?"

"I'm fine, there is no need to worry at all." Hannah shrugged her shoulders, not at all convincing.

"And I'm the fucking prime minister, tell me the truth, Hannah." Looking down at the ground, Hannah started to fiddle with the material on her dress like she always did, only to be stopped by Michael's warm hands engulfing hers. "Is it because of what I was doing underneath the table? I didn't mean to make you uncomfortable or - "

"No, it's my own fault. You'll be my first time and I'm nervous," she admitted with a little awkwardness.

"I don't want to force you into anything that you don't want to do. I am willing to wait for you, Hannah," Michael reassured. He didn't want to make Hannah feel as if she was forced to sleep with him; he would wait forever if it meant that she was happy.

"This is what I want, Michael. I just want it to be perfect..." Hannah trailed off. "And it will be perfect as long as it is with you," she added with a smirk.

Michael nodded his head once before holding his hand out for Hannah to take. "I believe that the party will be in full-swing soon, so I need to ask, will you please dance with me?"

"I would be absolutely honoured."


	15. first time. (smut)

The rest of the night was spent dancing in each other's arms, laughing about other people who had turned up at the party unwelcome and drinking as much alcohol as their bodies could take without getting too drunk. The other part of the night was spent stood against the walls as they took the mick out of John and Esme's dreadful drunken dancing and talking about the Irish members of the festivity. Polly had observed Michael and Hannah dance, sadness but happiness mixed all together in her stomach. For once, her son was completely happy, and Hannah was helping him stay away from the treacherous side of the corrupt business, he just couldn't see it because he was blind to it. Polly did like Hannah, more than she had ever liked any of the girls that the boys, Ada and Michael had brought home and she had only known Hannah for a short amount of time. That was why Polly feared for Hannah's heart, she didn't want to see the girl become heart broken or a walking disaster like everyone else who were around the Shelby clan.

A few hours into the party, Hannah saw Tommy stride across the room and demand that the music be made louder. After that, he made his way over to Michael and whispered something in his ear. Hannah looked back at Ada who was slumped against the wall, feeling disheartened after her politically aware friend had disappeared into the night, leaving her alone with no-one to discuss politics with. Ada had also spotted Tommy's abnormal behaviour and simply shrugged her shoulders when she noticed Hannah look in her direction. Ada went to call Hannah over but was stopped when Michael grabbed onto Hannah's hand.

"Where are we going?" Hannah asked as she allowed Michael to drag her through the hallways and towards a more secluded area of the house. Hannah could tell from Michael's heavy footsteps and rapid pace that he was desperate to get Hannah away from whatever dramatic event that was about to unfold, and she was grateful for that, the last thing that she needed was to be tangled in a Shelby crime.

"Away from what's about to happen, Tommy's instructions," he responded, not once looking back at Hannah who was becoming a panicking mess. Michael was right when he had laughed at her for thinking that the ceremony would run effortlessly. There was a rush of adrenaline running through her veins as Michael took her to a secluded room away from everybody else.

The room was weakly lit with just the fireplace burning, keeping the room whole-hearted and secretive. Panic was all over Michael's face as he finally allowed Hannah to walk without restrictions, his own figure walking over to a chair that was positioned near the chimney corner. Hannah looked around, taking in the huge and outstanding paintings, the luxurious furniture and the rugs that looked as if they had been imported from Paris. Finally, she moved over towards a seat that was across from Michael and placed both hands on her lap, her fingers intertwined.

"So" Hannah trailed off as she tapped her heels against the soft rug. "How long are we stuck in here for?" A part of her wanted to enjoy the gathering, socialise with the guests and get to know Polly more but she didn't dare go against Tommy's orders and nor did Michael.

Michael shrugged before inhaling and exhaling. "How long is a piece of string?" he joked, causing Hannah to nod her head at the comment, understanding Michael's concerns for not wanting to get Hannah hurt. She was fully aware of the illicit business and had been waiting for something like this to happen around her, it was bound to sooner or later, she just misjudged how long she could go without being, to some extent, involved.

Silence occupied the room, not in an awkward manner but a comforting one. Michael was carefully listening out for the gunshot that gestured that the business was over but all he could hear was the sound of men getting ready to fight and race.

Michael glanced over at Hannah and smiled softly as he saw her eye up one of the ornaments that was resting on the top of the fireplace. "What are you looking at?" he asked, causing Hannah to jump a little.

"Nothing," she mumbled.

Michael nodded, not knowing how to continue the discussion. He was dying for a line of cocaine but since meeting Hannah, he had kept away from the snowy substance, knowing full well that Hannah would not agree with the drug-taking at all. She was a nurse and had most likely seen the effects of drug abusing which was becoming an increasing problem in the area. The break from cocaine was doing him favours and Michael had never felt better since arriving in Small Heath - most of that down to Hannah - but he was on edge tonight and needed something to calm his down before he blew and ended up leaving the room to get involved with the business. The thought of his mother, or other family members, getting hurt due to a man lurking around the house was a frightening thought to Michael and he would never forgive himself if something serious did happen.

"Come here," Michael said, patting his lap and beckoning for Hannah to come sit on it. He needed cosiness and Hannah was the one person who could provide him with that.

Hannah obeyed his orders and moved over to him slowly, she knew what was coming.

"What is happening out there?" she finally asked as she wrapped one arm around Michael's neck. Her legs were spread out horizontally across Michael's thighs and her back was pressed up against the armrest. Michael had one arm wrapped around Hannah's waist as he held her close, frantic for her warmth and love.

"I don't want to bother you with any of the issues so I'd rather you didn't know. There's a lot of shit going on and it's best that you stay out of it," Michael said, dismissing Hannah's question. Luckily, she understood and remained quiet about the problem occurring outside of the room.

While speaking, his hand was pressed flat against Hannah's thigh as he moved the dress leisurely up the skin until it rested just below her underclothing. Hannah watched Michael's skilful hand and blushed profusely before finally looking up at him with a smirk.

"What do you think you are doing?" Hannah asked playfully.

Michael raised both eyebrows before sniggering. "I think the question is, what do you want me to do?"

A huff came from Hannah as she leaned back against Michael's arm and the armrest with a teasing smile playing on her lips. Michael was in wonder as Hannah moved one hand to cover Michael's before pushing his hand further up her uncovered thighs.

"A part of me believes that you already know the answer to that one, Michael."

"Do I?"

He was teasing, Hannah was aware of this. Her feelings were one big mess as she listened and responded to the back-to-back seducing, the words gliding from their lips smoothly as if they had been together for years. Michael knew how to work Hannah in the most amazing of ways and he hadn't even done anything. Already, her heart was sprinting, throat dry and palms sweaty as she waited for him to make the move that would soon have her moaning and breathless. There was something in his eyes, behind the fear, something that she did not recognise. Desire.

Michael placed one hand on Hannah's cheek that was facing away from him before dragging her in for a slow and sensual kiss. A shudder ran down her body as she focused on his lips and tried to ignore his dangerously close hand that was moving further upwards. Hannah's pants were exposed at this point, a special undergarment set that she had picked out especially for the night, for Michael. Breaking the kiss for a quick moment, Michael glanced down at his hand and swallowed. Hannah was truly tempting, and it was taking Michael all of his strength to not take her there and then, but this needed to be slow; he wanted to cherish it for the rest of his life. Michael wanted to be Hannah's first but also her last.

"Tell me if things are moving too quickly," he whispered against Hannah's neck as he left light kisses along the sweet-smelling skin.

Hannah moved one hand to the back of Michael's neck and pushed him closer towards her skin when he began to move away before nodding and slanting her head to the side, allowing Michael to freely kiss the sensitive skin below her ears for a few moments.

"I want you to kiss me," she said unsteadily, giving Michael all of the validation that he needed.

Within seconds, he was back at Hannah's lips, this time more suggestive as he slipped his tongue inside of her mouth. She tasted like exclusive wine while he tasted like Whiskey, both tastes sending the two lovers into paradise. Hannah couldn't get enough of the man in front of her, whose hand was placed on her thigh, his hands squeezing against her cheeks.

And then it happened.

A loud bang that sent Hannah jumping to her feet. Michael cursed under his breath as he tried to ignore the growing boner in his slacks. Hannah's thigh was hot and already missing Michael's rough hands, but she stood up, trembling slightly before running one hand over her lips.

"Was that a gunshot?" she asked unevenly.

Michael mumbled a yes before standing up and grabbing Hannah's hand. She cautiously took it and allowed Michael to drag her towards his body, his arms automatically wrapping around Hannah's back protectively. Michael whispered sweet-nothings into Hannah's hair, occasionally stopping to press kisses against her forehead until she had calmed down.

"I'm being dramatic," she mumbled after a few minutes, wiping the tears away as she pulled back from Michael's squeeze. "Gosh, I'm sorry for ruining everything."

"You haven't ruined anything at all," he responded with a confused expression. "Those idiots that I call my family ruined that moment but trust me, there will be plenty more."

Hannah giggled before looking down at the floor. "When will the next one be?"

Michael inhaled through his teeth before swaying a little bit from side-to-side. "I'd say about ten minutes."

Hannah bit her lip before looking at Michael in the eyes. With unhurried movements, she leaned over to the table and clutched the cigarettes, speedily winked at Michael before running out of the room - the sound of her amusement filling the corridor as Michael followed her with quick feet and determination.

+++

When Michael had made it up to the bedroom - he had decided to walk instead of run, so he could leave Hannah waiting - he found Hannah laid on the bed leisurely smoking on a cigarette as she waited for the fine-looking gentleman to stride through the oak doors.

"You took your time." Hannah was the first to speak as Michael physically couldn't. His eyes were fixed on Hannah who had taken her dress off and was laid in nothing but her slip. "It's not nice to keep a girl waiting."

Michael walked slowly over to the bedside table before taking off his watch and cuff links. "Yeah?" Michael looked sideways at Hannah who was also looking back up at him. "It's not nice to run away from a man who wants to satisfy you."

"Satisfy me?"

"Yes, satisfy you."

Michael's voice was calm and collected compared to Hannah who was trying to hold her self-confidence together but was failing dreadfully. Despite coming across as coquettish, every time that she spoke, a wave of anxiety would sit at the bottom of her abdominal, fearing that Michael would be turned off by her words. Thankfully, he enjoyed the flirty words that flowed off her tongue in a seductive voice.

"Come here then."

Michael watched as Hannah rolled over onto her side as she leaned across the bed to stub out her cigarette in the ashtray that was sat beside Michael's cuff links. When she moved back, her hand slid over Michael's thighs slowly, causing him to stiffen up. Michael gulped for the fifth time that night as he tried to keep his breathing at a firm and calm pace. This was Hannah's night, he wanted to please her and give her pleasures and experiences that she had never felt before but with each passing moment, he felt as if it was his first time.

"Hannah..." Michael trailed off as unpinned the flower that was attached to his jacket before removing the jacket as well, letting the garment floor to the floor and moving the flower over to the bedside table. "Are you - "

"If you ask me that question one more time then I will scream," she cut off with a chuckle. Hannah moved until she was on her knees in front of Michael. With shaky hands, which consoled Michael in the oddest way as he learnt that he wasn't the only one who was anxious, Hannah undid the waistcoat and then removed his tie. "What if someone walks in?"

Michael shook his head before tucking a piece of hair behind Hannah's ear. "They won't."

Fumbling for the right words, Hannah simply responded with a few blinks. Everything had become real for her as she laid back in the bed and waited for Michael to take his position. Questions ran through her mind: What would happen afterwards? Would Michael be unsatisfied with her lack of experience? Would the other Nurse's know that Hannah had slept with him?

Since living at the convent and becoming a midwife, Hannah had always been told that sex before marriage was a sinful act and frowned upon. To be jumping into bed with a man that she had barely known for six months was ridiculous to some people which was shocking to Hannah but also understandable as some people took religion more seriously. Sister Maria and Sister Margaret would have a heart attack if they knew, the other Nurse's would not say anything, but Hannah would be able to sense the judgement and negative thoughts. In the end, it was going to be seen as a dreadful thing if any of Hannah's colleagues and friends found out, but she loved Michael and that was all that mattered.

During her daydream, Michael had moved so he was hovering over Hannah's body, his elbows resting on either side of Hannah's face as he leaned in closer. Their lips were not touching but their breathes were mixing together as they took in each other's attractiveness.

"You know, you've seen more vaginas than me."

Hannah looked shocked at Michael's remark, her reaction echoing his own. Hannah tried to hold the laughter in, but she physically couldn't, it was making her splutter as she tried to keep on being quiet.

"I'm so sorry," she muttered through tears as she placed one hand on Michael's cheek that was burning hot from embarrassment. "Where on Earth did that come from?"

"I-I don't," Michael stammered before stopping and chuckling himself. "I don't know where that came through. It just slipped out before I could stop it and - " Michael sighed before covering Hannah's mouth with his hand. "Stop laughing at me."

"I'm sorry," Hannah's muffled voice said, breathing a sigh of relief when Michael removed his hand. "It's true though, I have. The joys of being a midwife, I guess."

Things started to become more serious again as Michael hiked Hannah's dress up in a desperate attempt to switch the roles. Hannah had grabbed onto the control when Michael had said the idiotic comment, but he was adamant that he would get it back.

"I want to touch you, Michael," Hannah whispered as she made herself comfier on the quilt cover, her back sinking into the luxurious mattress that was much snugger than the one that she slept on at the religious foundation. Tommy and Grace Shelby led a fine life which Hannah was envious off.

"No, this is about you," he said, hushing her with a strong kiss that knocked the breath out of her lungs. Hannah arched forwards into Michael's chest, allowing him to slip one arm underneath her back and lift her up so she was sat on his thighs. At the sudden change in position, Hannah wrapped her arms around Michael's neck and tilted her head to the side, allowing him to push the kiss further. "Beautiful," he muttered against her swollen lips before delving straight back in, already missing the intoxicating feeling of her mouth on his.

With Hannah's arms wrapped strongly around Michael's neck, he moved one hand further down before pushing it in between her thighs. The abrupt and unexpected action made Hannah moan into Michael's mouth as she felt his hand press against her panties that were gradually becoming wet with every movement.

Michael pulled away for a short moment and watched as Hannah lolled her head back a little from desire. The feeling of Hannah on his lap was magical but he desired more, he wanted to touch her in the most affectionate of ways. Lightly, he placed his free hand on Hannah's stomach and pushed her back onto the silk bedding until she was relaxed, just like she had been before Michael had dragged her to sit up.

The brown locks that flowed down Hannah's face were tucked behind her ears as she sat up slightly, resting on her elbows, and waited patiently for Michael to continue his actions.

"Are you - " Michael started to ask the question that he had repeated multiple times before stopping when he remembered Hannah's previous threat. If there was an issue, then she would bring it up with him and would not remain quiet about it just to please Michael. "Sorry." he quickly mumbled, feeling a lot less awkward when Hannah smiled.

"I'll tell you something, love." Hannah started but stopped herself when Michael hooked his fingers around the waistband of her pants and dragged them down her thighs, her knee coming forward to help him with the action. "I'll be a whole lot better when you do something," Hannah finished with a soft whimper.

Michael was kneeled in between Hannah's thighs that were unintentionally spreading themselves further and further apart. The sight of her bare for him almost made Michael want to take Hannah there and then but he kept his composure as he trailed one finger up Hannah's legs.

"Michael," Hannah hummed, slowly getting aggravated with the slowness that was sending her senseless. Hannah moved further down the bed before sighing softly as she waited.

One finger moved its way to Hannah's clit where he pressed down, just enough to cause a shot of pleasure to run up her spine. Hannah closed her eyes as Michael moved his finger up and down, gathering up Hannah's wetness that had been brought on from the teasing. Hannah's breathing began to get heavier as Michael inserted one finger, pumping it in and out gently to ease the discomfort that she was probably feeling.

"Is it alright?" he asked, his eyes finally moving up to look at Hannah whose chest was raising up and down, her eyes closed, and hair spread out - she looked like an angel that had been sent down from God to stop Michael from leading the life of a criminal. Hannah nodded and waited with anticipation.

Another finger was glided inside of Hannah, this time the pace picked up as Michael moved them in and out. Hannah was tenderly moaning as the feeling became more comfortable. Leaning up slightly, Hannah grabbed onto Michael's shirt and pulled him down for a kiss. Michael fell on top of Hannah as he lost his balance, but his fingers remained inside of her as sped up his pace, wanting to bring her as much pleasure as he could.

Michael swallowed every pretty moan that slipped from Hannah's mouth, her mouth forming into the perfect circle.

"I'm going to do something else," Michael said as he pulled away from Hannah's neck where his silky and puffy slips were leaving marks along the skin would form in the morning. Hannah looked taken back for a second; she was enjoying what he was doing at the moment and didn't want it to change. "You'll love it, I promise."

Hannah nodded. She trusted Michael more than any other man and would let him do whatever he wanted to her body as long as he treated her kindly and with admiration. Michael pecked Hannah one last time on the mouth before crawling down her body until he was laid in the middle of her thighs, his face dangerously close to her core.

As Hannah closed her eyes to relax, Michael leaned forward and swiped his tongue along Hannah's folds, the action making her eyes shoot open in astonishment. It was an unfamiliar sensation but it was not undesirable. Hannah slowly, and with hesitation, placed one of her legs over Michael's shoulders to allow him better access to her core.

"Oh," she whispered as Michael swirled his tongue around her clit. "That's nice."

A chuckle came from Michael's mouth, the vibrations buzzing against her flesh, before Michael returned to being as serious as he could be. Hannah was becoming a needy mess on top of the sheets as Michael's hand caressed Hannah's thighs that was placed over his shoulder. His mouth was working wonders on her as he delved his tongue in and out, in and out, at an unbearable speed. Eye contact was made throughout the erotic act apart from the times when Hannah would occasionally throw her head back against the soft pillows because she could feel her legs quivering.

Michael slid both of his fingers in, this time with ease as Hannah was soaking from his tongue. Not once did he pull away, his main focus on Hannah and making her feel all of the pleasures in the world. It was so special as she moved her hand down her stomach, over the clothed skin, and into Michael's waved hair, harshly tugging on the locks in hopes that it would make him speed up the movements.

Suddenly, Michael's fingers had been removed and he was placing Hannah's thighs flat against the bed before sliding his arms underneath them, lifting Hannah into the air slightly. His tongue movements became more ferocious as he dragged Hannah closer to his face so he could delve in like a wild animal who had finally caught their prey. This was ecstasy, better than anything that he could have imagined and it was only the start.

Cries and mewls feel from Hannah's lips hastily, gradually becoming louder as she moved around on the sheets. The feeling was out of this world and Hannah was speechless as she sat up, resting on her elbows, to watch Michael work wonders with his tongue. As much as she was enjoying the closeness and the feel of everything, Hannah just wanted to touch Michael in delicious ways, please him like he was pleasing her.

"Michael, let me touch you," she was able to say, her voice breaking when Michael pulled away, only to move his fingers to her clit where his tongue had previously been. "Let me..." she straggled off and tried to reach over to grab hold of Michael's hand to hopefully still his actions but she was pushed backwards by Michael.

"Not until you've come."

Hannah accepted Michael's comments. Her orgasm was nearing close and Hannah could tell that she was on the edge of something beautiful that would take over her whole body. Her legs were becoming rigid, body turning into a wobbly mess and before she could register the new feeling that was (in the most amazing way) driving her up the walls, Hannah arched her back slightly and squeezed Michael's hand that had moved to keep Hannah stable. Her whole body was on fire and was pulsating as Michael helped her ride out her orgasm.

When Michael sat up properly, his lips were glistening with Hannah's wetness, his eyes dark and hair a mess. It was a beautiful sight - a gorgeous man - and it was something that Hannah would never get bored off. She wanted to tell him that she loved him and even though it seemed like the right moment when the two of them were intimate with their bodies pressed against each other, Hannah couldn't say the three simple words.

"Did you like that?"

"I loved it," Hannah answered. "I'd like to touch you though, Michael."

Michael looked away from Hannah for a brief second before pushing a strand of hair away from her forehead. "Is that something that you want to do? If you aren't comfortable then you shouldn't have to feel pressured into doing it just because it's going to please me."

Hannah thought about what Michael was saying for a moment before nodding her head - this is what she wanted. Michael had treated her in the most lustful way and yes, she was worried but she wanted to return the favour.

Michael slid Hannah's slip off, his eyes dancing over her body as he undid her bra. There was a tint of red on Hannah's cheeks from being naked in front of Michael but he was in complete and utter amazement. Hannah smiled before rolling Michael over so he was laid on his back and she was straddling his thighs. Her small hands ran down his torso before she moved to unfasten his shirt that had become wrinkled during their previous actions.

"I should tease you like you teased me," she said, cocking her head to the side with a mischievous twinkle in her eyes.

Michael held direct eye contact with Hannah as she slipped the shirt from his body. "Is that what you are going to do?"

Hannah shook her head. "No," she admitted.

Michael chortled before moving his hands to Hannah's midriff. "I didn't think so."

One of Hannah's hands grazed over Michael's dick, feeling the hardness that had been pushed against his boxers and trousers. A surprised expression was on her face as she watched Michael with intensity, wanting to see the looks on his face and the twinges of pleasures. With each soft groan as she continued to move up and down, pressing harder with each stroke, Hannah fell more and more in love.

With the help of Michael, Hannah slid off his trousers and boxers, his hard length taking Hannah back for a brief second. She was completely oblivious to what she was supposed to be doing. There had been times in London where Hannah and her friends had joked about these things but Hannah had never been with another man, she didn't know how to bring Michael pleasure and it worried her.

"Hannah, just do what you think is right," Michael said, detecting Hannah's doubts.

Hannah nodded before moving so she was in a comfortable place. Hannah's reddened and sore lips from the full-on kissing and lip biting when her orgasm was washing over her, slid over Michael's length leisurely, her cheeks hallowing. A small gag was all Michael needed to pull Hannah away but she shook her head and released Michael's hands from her hair.

"I can do this," she said - silencing Michael before he could try and encourage Hannah to stop.

Michael's dick was engulfed in wet heat as Hannah wrapped his lips around his dick once again. This time, Hannah was more confident as she allowed one of her hands to wrap around the hard flesh that she couldn't fit in her mouth. The moans and groans that were falling from Michael's lips, so soft that it made her heart burst, encouraged Hannah to continue on with using her inexperienced mouth that seemed to be doing amazing.

"Bloody hell, my love,", he mumbled as he timidly wrapped his fingers in Hannah's hair that she had let loose during dancing. Hannah looked up at him and winked before sliding her mouth off and instead moving to flick her tongue along his tip.

Never in his life had Michael felt this way and he knew why it felt so special, it was because he loved Hannah. Michael would not say anything though, especially after Hannah to cut him off earlier but he made a promise with himself as he watched Hannah smile up at him from her knees - he promised himself that he would never hurt her, never leave her and would always be by her side until the day he died.

"I want to be inside of you when I come."

Hannah shifted her eyes up to Michael, her mouth still surrounding his dick, before sliding off which left sloppy sounds and nodding.

"Can I do that again?" she asked. "Later on, of course."

Hannah wasn't satisfied with what she had done but Michael understood that it was her first time and he was not going to embarrass her. "Of course," he responded, tucking another piece of Hannah's hair behind her ears. "We don't need to rush these things."

Michael switched the two of them over and laid across Hannah's bare chest. Both of his arms were placed directly above Hannah's head as he placed light and delicate kisses to her lips. They were a lot more passionate than the kisses that they had shared before. This time, Michael was putting all of his love into one affectionate kiss that had Hannah's mind cloudy.

Dipping his head into Hannah's shoulder, he positioned her legs so that they were angled at a more comfortable and easy position, giving Michael the access that he craved greatly. With a quick kiss on Hannah's collarbone, Michael pushed himself inside of Hannah unhurriedly as he watched her face for any traces of pain. A soft sigh, one of contentment and happiness, left her lips as she smiled at Michael, her nose brushing against his.

"You can move," she mumbled against his cheek, pressing an open-mouth kiss to the warm skin once she had breathed out the sentence.

Michael groaned before pushing in and out. One of his hands moved from Hannah's head and down to her waist where he began to set a steady pace that had Hannah shaking against him. There was hardly any room between them as they clung onto each other for dear life, their breathes mingling together.

"Fuck, Michael," she said, her lips twisting into a smile against Michael's chin as he pushed his hips against her more forcefully, sending her bouncing up the bed a little. Her arms were wrapped around Michael's neck and her long fingernails were pressed into his neck slowly as she tried to remain quiet. Even though it was a big house, there was still a chance that someone could walk past and hear the two of them moaning and breathless and Hannah could not deal with the embarrassment and jokes that would follow.

Michael moved so that he was kneeled on the bed and Hannah was hovering above his dick. Hannah didn't waste any time and was soon lowering herself down on his dick, adoring the feeling of his dick stretching her walls.

"Hannah, I have something to tell you," Michael whispered against her neck, his voice cracking when Hannah rolled her hips. "I don't want you to hate me..."

Hannah moved her eyes so she was directly looking at Michael and waited for him to continue. Despite the seriousness of the conversation, her orgasm was still building up inside of her but she was trying to hold it off so she could listen closely to Michael's words.

"Go on."

Michael pushed Hannah back down on the bed before slamming himself hard inside of her. Hannah groaned loudly and arched her back against Michael's chest as he continued with the rough pace that had Hannah screaming into his neck. His fingers were working magic on her clit, rubbing in fast circles which was causing her orgasm to approach at a fast speed.

"I am so in love with you."

Hannah didn't get time to respond, her second orgasm of the night over-taking her body once Michael had spoken the words. Michael soon followed, his own hips bucking further into Hannah's as he made a strangled moan. Hannah was desperately trying to tell Michael that she loved him back but she couldn't get the words out, her moans taking over her words as she wrapped her legs around Michael's waist to keep him buried deep inside of her.

"I love you," she finally responded when she had calmed down slightly. Her breath was still shallow and uneven but she was slowly calming herself down. "I love you," she repeated.

"Yeah?" Michael pressed a peck against Hannah's lips, lingering there for a few seconds longer than needed before pulling away. "I love you."

"I love you." Three words that had been scary to her only a few hours before seemed as casual as ever as she repeated it multiple times, finishing each sentence with a peck on Michael's cheek, jaw and face. "I love you."

"And I love you."


	16. a second gunshot. (smut)

Waking up naked, wrapped in Michael's arms was a welcoming feeling that Hannah was already starting to get addicted to. One of his hands was lazily pressed against her stomach, the other resting besides her naked form, possibly uncomfortable but Michael was blissfully aware as he slept - at least that's what she thought.

Knowing that Hannah was awake, Michael sneaked his hand down to Hannah's core - earning a moan from Hannah in response. His finger lazily trailed along her slit as Hannah opened her leg involuntary, desperate for the feeling of his digits against her clit like they had been last night. Soft moans and whimpers left Hannah's lips as she shut her legs around Michael's hand, trapping him in between her thighs. Hannah began to roll her hips backwards and forwards as she let the pleasure run through her body, not caring at all about how loud she was getting.

"That's it, darling," Michael cooed in her ear before pressing a few kisses against Hannah's head. "You know what you want, don't you?"

Hannah nodded, unable to form words as she let herself become more and more desperate with every roll of her hips. Michael was finding it hard to keep calm as he felt Hannah's wetness soak his hands but the sight of Hannah using his hands and fingers to get herself off was heavenly.

"Oh, Michael," she softly whispered as she leaned forward a little, the pleasure becoming too much.

With his free hand, Michael pulled Hannah's thighs apart. "Let me take care of my girl." Gulping, Hannah rolled over, so she was on her back and allowed the sheets to fall, revealing every inch of her upper body to Michael. "What a bloody angel."

Hannah blushed at his words and looked up at Michael with nothing but love; how did she get so lucky? The loving thoughts soon vanished and turned to lust as Michael inserted two fingers into Hannah, her arousal making it easy for him to gain access. Loud moans blessed the air of the luxurious bedroom as Michael continued with his movements and with each thrust of his fingers, Hannah could feel her orgasm growing closer.

Michael moved his mouth to Hannah's shoulders where he left open-mouth kisses along the skin, taking his time to admire a bruise along her neck that would soon become more. It would be hard to keep away from the Sister's, but Michael knew that Hannah would be successful in doing so.

"Are you going to come for me?" he asked.

"Yes - " Hannah's own voice failed her as she arched her back and clung onto Michael's arm. The sight of the woman that he loved with every inch of his body coming undone because of him was remarkable. After sleeping around during his time at Small Heath and thinking that there was something electric about a one-night stand, Michael came to the conclusion that he never wanted to go back to that life. He was over the moon with Hannah and he did not want to be with any other woman.

+++

Around a month later, after the wedding celebrations had fizzled out and Hannah had returned to her midwife responsibilities, an invitation was popped through the letterbox at the convent. It was addressed to Hannah and she recognised the handwriting as Grace's due to the friendly card she received a few days after the wedding, thanking her for being present.

"This is for you," Sister Maria said during mealtime, placing the decorative invitation down beside Hannah's toasted bread.

Hannah thanked Sister Maria before undoing the envelope and reading the invitation. It was for a charity foundation dinner that was going to be held at Tommy and Grace's stunning house in the countryside. Michael had not mentioned it to her, but he had been distant in the recent weeks, short one-word answers and getting out of Hannah's way as quickly as possible. It was insulting, considering the fact that she had gave him her everything, shown her love and accepted his but Hannah didn't want to question it and simply thought that his bleak mood would pass with time. There were times when he was still the same Michael that she had fell in love with - joyful, full of jokes and brightening Hannah's day up.

"What's it for?" Betty asked as she took a sip of her hot tea.

Hannah had thought about lying to the midwives and Sister's and not telling them about the event, but she had nothing to hide. "Tommy and Grace have invited me to a dinner over at their house. If I remember correctly, I did hear Esme briefly mention that they are setting up an orphanage which is lovely."

"That is nice of them," Sister Margaret agreed with a compassionate smile. "Will you be attending with Michael?"

Hannah shrugged. "I think so."

"Think so?" Sister Maria scoffed. "It's either a yes or no answer, there's no in-between."

Even though she kept her mouth shut most of the time, there was still bitterness with Hannah and Sister Maria who had once got on rather well. Sister Maria had learnt over the recent weeks that no matter what she said or did, Hannah would still go running to Michael in her time of need. So, she continued to make little digs about their relationship just, so she could feel better about herself.

"He has been busy with work," Hannah responded as she slipped the invitation inside of her pinafore until she went upstairs. "I have to go now."

Sister Maria rolled her eyes as she watched Hannah storm out of the room. There were wounds to be cleaned, babies to be delivered and people to see; she didn't have time for Sister Maria's remarks that only upset Hannah.

+++

On her break, Hannah made her way over to the house where Michael stayed with his mother. The two of them had spent many nights since the wedding wrapped up in the bed sheets, learning things about each other's bodies and what pleased them the most. It was in the dead of the night when everything was silent, Polly was fast-asleep in the other room or down at the pub with the boys, that Hannah and Michael would discuss the private things. Throughout her time at Small Heath, she had heard rumours about the blinders and Shelby's, Michael would either confirm them or tell Hannah the truth. He would explain why the boys did what they did, and Hannah found herself becoming more comfortable around the Shelby's as she learnt that they weren't as horrid as everyone had made them out to be.

"Michael Gray," Hannah called throughout the house as she stepped inside. Michael had given her permission to enter whenever she wanted, and Hannah usually didn't, fearing that Polly would be sat in the dining room with a cigarette, completely unimpressed with Hannah's entrance but Hannah had seen Polly running down the street, chasing after one of John and Esme's kids who were refusing to go to school.

"I'm in here," Michael shouted, his voice coming from the make-shift office that was in the living room. Hannah strolled over and leaned against the doorway with her arms crossed. "What brings you here today, Hannah Anderson?"

Hannah shrugged before pulling out the invitation. "You didn't tell me about this."

Michael finally looked up and squinted his eyes until he recognised what Hannah was holding. "I didn't want you to come Hannah, I'm not going to lie to you. There's been some trouble with the Italians and - "

Michael stopped when Hannah began to stroll over towards his desk, her palms pressed flat against the wood when she had reached it. "I want to come."

"I don't want you to get hurt."

Hannah tilted her head to the side, understanding his concerns but also frustrated that he wasn't allowing her to go. "I won't get hurt if I have you by my side."

Michael raised one eyebrow before shaking his head. "No, there's a higher chance that you will get hurt if you are on my arm because they will use you against me. Just like they will use Esme against John or Grace - "

"Exactly," Hannah interrupted. "Esme, Ada, Polly and whoever else can go but I bloody can't. Look." Hannah leaned over the desk and grabbed hold of Michael's tie before continuing. "If things do start to get dangerous, and I doubt they will, we could always sneak off to a separate room like we did at the wedding."

Hannah knew how to press buttons; she could work him like a machine. What were the chances of something happening at the dinner? After the episode at the wedding, with the gunshot and arguments, Tommy would have increased the security at the dinner to make sure that no one got hurt like last time.

Michael bit his bottom lip before hesitantly nodding. "This time, I will be buying your dress."

+++

The dress that Michael had brought for Hannah was amazing and it looked odd on her body but so did every dress that she wore as Hannah was so used to seeing herself in the uniform that whenever she dressed up, it was strange to her and took a few minutes for her to feel comfortable within her body. Alexandra had kindly sorted Hannah's hair out for her, letting the hair fall in bouncy curls. A hint of make-up was on her face but not a lot as Hannah was due to start working the minute that she arrived home which would be around midnight. Around ten babies were due on the day of the celebration dinner and Hannah had only just managed to get the daytime shift off, sadly being left with the night-time and early morning shift that would leave her cranky.

"Are you ready?" Michael asked as he threw his cigarette on the ground outside of the convent - sticking to the rule that he wasn't allowed to go inside.

"As ready as I will ever be," she replied with a quick kiss on his cheek. "You look beautiful by the way."

Michael smiled as he got into the seat besides Hannah, quickly grabbing her hand and giving it a squeeze. "And you have amazing fashion sense. What a lovely dress."

Hannah scoffed jokingly before rolling her eyes. "Oh, please, we all know that you got your mother to pick out this dress."

"Bloody Esme ruins everything," he muttered light-heartedly. "But really, you look wonderful." Hannah accepted the comment with a soft smile, always finding herself blushing whenever Michael complimented her. "Shall we go?"

+++

It all happened to quickly.

One minute, Hannah was chatting with Grace about plans for institute, the next she was being dragged into a corner by Michael who looked terrified. The sound of Tommy screaming from an ambulance was something that would taint Hannah's mind forever: how could she ever forget the sound of a broken man, crying out for his wife who was on the verge of death? The sight of the two other Shelby brothers beating a man to the ground with their bare hands and whatever other objects they could find was another thing that Hannah could never forget - these were the Shelby's.

However, the sound of the gunshot running through the air and silencing everything was what would keep Hannah awake a night when she was finding it hard to sleep. Constantly replaying the moment that she saw Grace fall to the ground, wrapped in Tommy's arms and clinging on for dear life.

"I can help," Hannah shouted as she removed herself from Michael's grip. Michael tried his best to drag Hannah back to safety but eventually, he allowed her to go and do whatever she could to make sure that Grace survived. He didn't want Hannah to be involved, he wanted to keep her away from the distressing sight which was blood and damage. Hannah deserved better than this.

Unsuccessful.

Tommy watched as Hannah did her best to stop the bleeding with the equipment that she had. All she could really do was help Grace through her final moments and calm her with comforting words. Tommy was broken, and nothing could be done to fix him.

"I tried," Hannah sobbed into Michael's chest - her once beautiful dress now stained with blood that would most likely never come out. "What kind of Nurse am I if I can't save someone?"

Michael shook his head as he pressed the palm of his hand against Hannah's hair, trapping her sobs in his chest as he soothed her in the bedroom that once held happy memories for the two of them.

"You can't save everyone, Hannah," Michael responded, doing his best to keep his own emotions at bay until he was alone. Although he wasn't massively close with Grace, he was still impacted by her death and he knew that it would take the family along time to get over the loss.

"I tried."

"I know."

"I didn't try - "

"Hannah," Michael interrupted as he leaned down slightly so he was directly looking at Hannah in the eyes. "Don't blame yourself, please love. You did everything that you could, and we will always be grateful for that but sometimes, these things happen, and nothing can be done about it."

Hannah nodded, somewhat accepting the comments that Michael was making. "I need to go home. I have a shift at midnight and - "

"No," he interrupted again before pressing his hand against Hannah's wet cheek. "I'll ring the convent and explain what's happened and then you can come and stay at mine. You are in no fit state to work."

Another nod was all that Hannah could manage as she looked down at the ground. "I love you."

"I know."


	17. father hughes.

( trigger warning - child neglect )

Forgetting what she had seen was hard for Hannah who was constantly replaying the fatal moment in her head, repeatedly. She was tainted, her memories ruined for life and with every little bang, Hannah would fear that someone else would be shot. This was the life that Hannah was chasing after; one full of unhappiness, demise and sorrow but it was part of the package, she couldn't have Michael without having the risk of something appalling happening to her. Was it a risk she was willing to take? Hannah had thought long and hard about the question, sometimes it kept her awake at night, and in the end, she always decided that it was worth it. Michael was the man that she loved and could possibly see her future with - that's if they had one.

"Are you alright?"

Hannah was in her own little world as she sat on the bed clutching onto her work uniform, so far past reality that she hadn't heard a word of Alexandra's rant as she discussed the ins and out of working at the hospital. Hannah blinked a few times before smiling softly.

"I'm so sorry, I wasn't listening," Hannah admitted as she looked down at the floor. "But yes, I am fine. Thank you for asking."

"Clearly not," Alexandra scoffed as she placed one of the books down on the writing desk and turned around to look at Hannah with a concerned expression - one that Hannah had seen far too many times since the death of Grace – even Sister Maria had been compassionate and kept the digs hushed. "Why don't you talk to one of us about it? I'm sure you would feel better..."

"There's nothing to discuss, it's just one of those things that happen." Hannah stood up and smiled graciously at Alexandra before gesturing over to the hallway. "I need to get ready for work otherwise Sister Maria will have me cleaning all the equipment tonight and I haven't got the time to do that."

Alexandra chuckled. "We don't want that now, do we? She's already on your case because you slept in the other day."

"Don't remind me," Hannah groaned as she recalled the telling off that she received from Sister Maria - it had a good ten minutes as she moaned about time management, and constant sly remarks were made throughout the day. "I'll see you at breakfast."

Alexandra quickly shook her head. "Not if Jodie is making it," she joked before turning back around to continue reading her book.

Hannah quickly walked down the hallway, not allowing the tears to fall once until the door was locked and she was met with silence. The mornings were the worst as Hannah would wake up and remember that Tommy was going to be waking up at the same time, if he had slept, to an empty bed and a lonely home that wasn't lived in. The house was simply bricks that held memories of when Tommy Shelby was happy with his son and wife.

+++

Seeing Arthur Shelby on the convent doorsteps was an odd sight but she could see the clear panic in his eyes as he frantically tried to say the words that he had been keeping to himself since he had first learned about Linda's condition. Arthur was over the moon, but he was also a nervous wreck, he struggled to look after himself some days, let alone a baby.

"Linda is pregnant."

Hannah was taken back for a moment as the words he spoke bellowed from his mouth with happiness, but her lips soon twisted into a wide smile - the first honest smile since Grace's passing. Hannah instantly congratulated Arthur as she pulled him in for a long hug, swaying from side to side with cheerfulness.

"When did you find out?" she asked, her voice laced with delight.

"This morning," he answered., his smile mirroring Hannah's. "We haven't told everyone yet. I just wanted to know some details, if that's alright?" Hannah nodded at his question. "Right, I want you to be Linda's midwife because you are one of the fucking best according to Esme and you made her feel really calm during labour and anyway, where do we sign up?"

Hannah laughed loudly and placed one hand on Arthur's shoulder. "Tell Linda to come down to the clinic on Tuesday and tell her to ask for me. I will get Linda all signed up and me and her can discuss babies, childbirth and gruesome stuff that I'm sure your ears don't want to hear. How far gone is she?"

Arthur sighed and tried to concentrate. "Three months, three fucking months."

"We can arrange home visits to see Linda every now and again just to check on the baby and because it's you, I will give Linda all of my love and care. I will do my best to make sure that she is okay."

"It is going to be okay, isn't it?"

"Things should run smoothly and Linda is a healthy young woman. She doesn't smoke - "

"She does occasionally when she is stressed out, like with Tommy or something, but I'm not allowed to tell people that so keep it a secret please," he interrupted, grinning slightly.

"Alright, I will." Hannah tried to contain her laughter and remain professional, but she was finding it hard. "You know what I mean though, everything should be okay."

Arthur nodded before giving Hannah a sympathetic smile. "Thank you..." Arthur trailed off as her wrapped his arms around Hannah, startling her for a moment. "For helping Grace in her last moments, Tommy can't thank you enough. He won't ever say thank you because that's not Tommy, but I heard him speaking to Polly and Ada about you and he really is grateful that you were there to help them."

"I couldn't save her though."

"You tried and that's all anyone could do. None of us expected it to happen."

Arthur pulled away before rubbing the back of his head. No other words were spoken between the two of them and Arthur walked away silently, feeling both happy about the baby that was growing in his wife's stomach and disheartened after the small discussion about Grace. It was a heart-breaking situation and Hannah knew that it would take time to get over - both for her and Tommy.

+++

Sneaking over to Michael's office in the dead of night was something that had become a weekly thing when the two of them were busy with work. The two of them would share drinks and Hannah would sometimes help him with the numbers, although most of the time it went straight over her head - she was good at nursing, not figures - and almost every single time, not that should would admit it to anybody, both Michael and Hannah would do no talking and would sneak up to one of the spare bedrooms above the betting shop, away from prying eyes.

If Polly was knocking around and doing some last-minute paperwork for Tommy, then she would also join in on the conversation and they would discuss babies, midwifery and female problems. Poor Michael would listen in on the conversation with confusion as he had no knowledge when it came to children.

However, when Hannah arrived at the office, during the afternoon and two days after her chat with Arthur, she automatically sensed the bad mood that Michael was in - something that was becoming too familiar. When he was like this, Hannah would sit across from Michael and try and make conversation, his only response being short sentences or one-word answers.

There was something on his mind that was bothering him, and she had a feeling that it was something personal and not to do with business. The strain of the business was getting to him and the frequent trips down to London was somewhat putting a strain on their relationship, but Michael was always adamant that nothing was wrong.

"Are you alright?" Hannah asked for the third time as she poured herself another glass of whiskey. It was her third one since arriving at the empty offices and she knew that it would only lead to trouble. However, she was bored rigid and Michael wasn't amusing her. "You are being terribly silent."

Michael looked up from the sheet of paper in front of him - Hannah believed that it was something to do with exporting alcohol, but she wasn't completely sure - and shrugged his shoulders at Hannah. "I'm fine, I've already told you this."

Hannah muffled a laugh and turned her head to the side. "I don't believe you, Michael. There's something wrong with you and I would like to know what it is because it's ruining what we have."

At this comment, Michael sighed heavily and placed the papers to the side. He leaned over the desk and grabbed the spare glass that Hannah had got out for him, poured himself a large drink and relaxed in his chair. Michael was there physically but his mind was somewhere else as he looked at the wall behind Hannah.

"I want you to know that I love you more than anything and there's going to be issues and problems, secrets and lies but it doesn't mean that I don't love you," he said, his voice was quiet in the small room.

"It shouldn't have to be like that though, Michael. We are meant to be in a relationship, yet you feel the need to keep things from me. Is it something to do with the business?" Hannah asked.

"No." Michael shook his head. "Like I said, I'm fine and this is just a little blip in the road and it will sort itself out, I promise you."

Hannah downed her drink and poured herself another one as she tried to keep calm. Even if he didn't mean to, Michael was infuriating her. "Do you want to smoke?" If he wasn't willing to cooperate then Hannah wasn't going to push him into giving her answers. It would come out in the end.

Michael looked confused for a moment before nodding. "Thank you," he replied as Hannah handed him a cigarette and some matches. "How was work today? I heard that Mrs. May went into labour in the middle of the corner shop while buying some bread."

Chuckling to herself, Hannah leaned back as she thought about the twins that she had delivered only hours beforehand. "Challenging but it went well. Mrs. May now has twins which was a bit of a surprise, but it was a lovely one and she's going to be a great mother, I can feel it."

"Good for her." Michael paused and thought hard for a second about the next question that he was going to ask, unsure if Hannah would be willing to answer it. "What's the hardest thing that you've had to do since becoming a midwife?" Michael had always been curious about Hannah's profession, but they only ever spoke about the happy stories and deep down, Michael wanted to know if other children had suffered like he had.

"When I was first training to be a midwife, my tutor decided that some hands-on work would be good, and she sent me to work with an on-call midwife down in London. I joined at the wrong time and we ended up looking after three children who were not in a good way: filthy home, head lice, starving and dehydrated, the lot. It turns out that their parents didn't give a shit basically and when they found out that their children had been taken away, they still didn't care. We cared for them instead and got them clean, looked after and happy."

"What happened to them?"

"They were sent to Australia under the child migrant act," Hannah replied. ***

Michael looked down at his desk as he thought about his sister and the pain that she probably went through. "That's sad."

"It is, I guess but they have a chance of a better life in Australia." Michael loved how Hannah was able to see the positive in anything, even if it did mean a child leaving the place that they loved the most. "Do you have plans tonight? I was hoping that we could do something together."

"I plan on taking you out for dinner if that's alright." Michael smiled and patted his lap, beckoning Hannah over.

"That sounds fine by me," she whispered, wrapping both of her arms and Michael's neck and moving her hands to play with the ends of hair. "Pick me up at seven?"

"I'll be on the doorstep," Michael dramatically said, rolling his eyes in the process. "Now, give me a kiss."

+++

Father Hughes.

The name was familiar to Hannah, she had heard the Sister's mention him a few times over dinner as they discussed ways to raise money for the convent, maternity homes and mother and baby homes where young unmarried mothers would go when they were due to give birth.

From what she had heard, Father Hughes was a respectable man who had done his bit for certain areas of Birmingham, including taking in children who were to be adopted by loving families. However, she had also heard that many of the Nurse's in the area were not keen on the man and that worried Hannah.

"Nurse Anderson, this is Father Hughes," Sister Margaret said as the Father stood up from his seat to shake Hannah's hand. There was something odd about him - simply from the way that he smiled at Hannah - but she didn't dare question his authority as it would only lead to her being in bother with the Sister's for disrespecting someone of high ranking in the church. "He is here to discuss some fundraising ideas."

Hannah nodded her head once and sat down in the vacant seat across from Father Hughes. For the whole time, his eyes didn't leave Hannah's unless he was discussing something with the Sister's and the look that he was given her was almost as if he was examining her and deciding if she was good enough or not. Nobody else picked up on the awkward tension between them which Hannah was thankful for.

"I was wondering if you would like to help me with these fundraising ideas, Nurse Anderson?" Father Hughes asked, glancing towards Sister Maria and Sister Margaret for an answer. Hannah had no say in the matter.

"That would be lovely, wouldn't it? You never know Hannah, you might fall in love with the church even more," Sister Maria said but Hannah could sense the worry in her face. She didn't want the church to know that someone from the convent was dating a blinder. "When would Hannah be starting this work with you?"

Father Hughes sighed and thought for a moment. "Next week would be wonderful. We can arrange to meet up somewhere and discuss the ideas that we have for the event that I am planning."

Hannah looked over at Alexandra for support who had been unusually quiet, but she was met with a blank look. "Yes, that's fine," Hannah finally said when she came to the realisation that she wouldn't be able to get out of the situation.

Father Hughes smiled arrogantly before gesturing towards the teapot. "Who wants a cup of tea?" 

It was a few hours later that Father Hughes finally left the convent, creepily kissing Hannah on the cheek on the doorstep of the nunnery. The meeting had gone on for longer than Hannah had anticipated, and she was massively running late as it was gone seven and Hannah just hoped that Michael would be late. However, she was blissfully unaware of Michael stood by the corner of the street, watching every move that Father Hughes made and the rage that he was feeling when he pressed his lips against his girl's cheeks. 

+++

*** - "Between the 1920s and the 1960s as many as 150,000 young children were dispatched to institutions and foster homes abroad so that they might begin happier lives in the under-populated Commonwealth. Charities including Barnardo's, the Catholic church and local authorities helped organise the emigration of youngsters aged between three and 14. So the children could make a clean start, they were usually told their parents had died. The fresh beginning the children were promised degenerated into years of servitude and hard labour on remote farms and at state orphanages. They were often subjected to physical and sexual abuse, separated from their siblings and taunted for being "the sons of whores." - source: the guardian.


	18. fury.

No matter how hard he tried, Michael could not contain the irritation that was building up inside of him as he stormed away from the convent with stomping footsteps. People moved out of Michael's way, the residents of Small Heath knew better than to get in the way of a blinder who looked as if they were ready to slash someone's throat with one of the infamous blades that they carried on their hats.

It wasn't Hannah's fault, she wasn't to know about Michael and Father Hughes gloomy past and the way that Father Hughes took away Michael's innocence at such a young age, so defenceless and unaccompanied without his mother. Seeing the two of them together unlocked childhood wounds, ones that Michael had worked so hard at keeping stitched up and away from everybody else. It was his secret, something that he didn't want to share, but something needed to be done.

Michael had an inkling that Father Hughes was only around Hannah and that was for one reason and one reason only - to torment Michael and it was working. Michael had heard a rumour that Tommy had got into some bother with someone at the church, but he never expected it to be the stomach-turning familiar face that was Father Hughes. Getting a reaction from someone that was involved with Shelby business was what most of the enemies wanted and using Hannah as bait was only going to land Michael in hot trouble, but he wasn't going to let himself sit back and watch as Hannah fell into Father Hughes calculating ways and allow her to become hurt because of his actions.

Michael entered the betting shop, not wanting to go back to the home that he shared with his mother in case he interrupted whatever she was doing and then he would have to explain his sudden change in mood when he had been so happy about his dinner date with Hannah only half an hour before, and stormed straight into his place of work, ignoring the look that Tommy gave him. He had a date with Hannah, something that he had promised her so that they could tie up all the issues that they had been having - which was Michael's fault wholly - but it was ruined now. Everything was coming back to Michael all at once and for a brief second, he felt frightened, weak and all alone. Flashbacks flooded his minds and before he knew it, a glass was launching towards the door, nearly hitting Tommy who was coming to check up on Michael.

"I think we need to talk," Tommy said firmly, nodding towards the shards of glass that were distributed around the room. "Don't you?" he finished, raising one eyebrow while speaking.

Michael's breathing was heavy as he nodded. It was going to be painful and he was going to cry but Hannah needed to be protected and if opening up to Tommy was the only way that it could happen, then Michael was willing to talk.

+++

Hannah was stood on the doorstep waiting for Michael to pull up in his glitzy car and whisk her away for the night, away from the worries and troubles of Small Heath. Somehow, she had managed to get dressed in less than fifteen minutes - not bothering to do her make-up impeccably because Michael wouldn't really care - but it was wasted effort, he wasn't turning up. Hannah's heart sank at the realisation that she had been stood up by the man who was meant to care for her and with an unhappy heart, she stepped back inside of the religious foundation and prepared herself for the compassionate looks that the nurses and Sister's would give her - not that they were wanted.

"Is he not coming?" Sophie asked who was sat near the front door, waiting for the phone to ring in case any soon-to-be mothers went into labour. "I'm sorry," she mumbled, standing up and pulling Hannah in for a hug who was confused more than anything. Michael wouldn't let her down, it wasn't him.

"He's probably been called into work or something, I'm sure there's a logical explanation for this." Hannah was doing her best to make Michael come across as a decent guy, but she was starting to doubt it a little bit. However, she kept her hopes up as she murmured a good night to Sophie who was still looking at Hannah caringly.

Before heading off to bed to sulk for most of the night and read a book, Hannah made her way over to the telephone that was used for personal reasons, not medical. After giving the operator Michael's number, she waited for him to answer, only for the phone to go dead. The tears were threatening to spill, and Hannah thought that she was being melodramatic, but she was genuinely hurt. This was the first time that he had completely ditched her without a word and if he did ever have to cancel something that the two of them had planned then he would always let Hannah know hours beforehand. After trying Michael's place of work again, Hannah began to wonder if Michael was annoyed with her. She was late, and he could have waited outside and then thought that Hannah was out, but Alexandra or Sophie would have said something.

"Hello." It was Polly's voice and she sounded calm and happy, letting Hannah know that something terrible hadn't happened to Michael. Hannah just felt bad for ringing Polly when she was probably trying to get some down time away from the offices and the boys.

"It's Hannah, I was - " Hannah stopped herself and thought for a quick second. She was coming across as needy, but she needed answers otherwise it was going to send her wild. "I just wanted to know if Michael was at home."

"He's with you, isn't he? Michael left here about an hour ago to go to come and pick you up. Something about having dinner at that new restaurant." Hannah could hear the apprehension in Polly's voice when she spoke, no longer happy and calm.

Hannah gulped before closing her eyes. "Michael never picked me up and I don't know if something bad had happened. I hate to ring you and ask but I didn't know who else to call."

"Have you tried his office number?"

Hannah nodded, even though Polly couldn't see her. "Twice and there was no answer."

Polly exhaled loudly. "Let me ring Tommy and see if he has Michael running around somewhere like an idiot. If you don't hear back from Michael tonight, then let me know in the morning and I'll make sure that he rings you. I'm one-hundred percent sure that he is fine and probably somewhere with Tommy or one of the other boys. Get some rest though, Hannah. You've had a busy day today. Will you tell Mrs. May that I said congratulations on the twins?"

Hannah smiled as she realised that Michael must have been talking about her to Polly. It made her feel a lot better about the situation because it proved that he hadn't completely given up on her. "Of course, I will. Good night, Polly."

"Good night, love."

+++

Tommy watched as Michael spoke about the disturbing deal with sympathetic eyes. Michael didn't want compassion, he had managed to go his whole life without it and all he truly wanted was justice which would keep Hannah safe and Father Hughes away from other children that could be seen as a target.

Tommy wasn't the best advice giver, so he sat in silence and listened closely. With every revelation, Tommy was getting angrier and angrier, but he was trying to keep calm in front of Michael.

Tommy sighed once Michael had finished and leaned back in his seat. "Do you want me to kill him?"

Michael shook his head. "I need to do it." Michael hesitated and lit a cigarette as he leaned back in his seat, weighing up his options. Polly would be furious if he shot a bullet through Father Hughes head and there was no way of knowing how Hannah would react. "I need closure Tommy and killing Father Hughes will give me that."

"And Hannah?"

"She won't know that I have done it, I'll make sure of it."

Tommy was unsure; he wanted to kill Father Hughes himself for causing misery to his cousin, but he understood Michael's pain and his reasoning for killing Father Hughes. "What about your mother?" Tommy asked, raising one eyebrow because he knew full well that Polly would cause an all-out war and would do whatever she could do to stop Michael from committing the life-changing murder.

"She won't know either."

Tommy sniffed before nodding his head. One of his fingers pointed in Michael's direction as he spoke to him in a threatening tone. "I have business with Father Hughes first and if it goes wrong then I will lose out on a lot of money. You kill him when I say, do you understand?" Michael nodded and accepted the term and conditions. "Answer that fucking phone anorl, someone is trying to get in touch with you."

Michael muttered a curse word before shooing Tommy away from his office, suddenly feeling slightly better after the discussion. Michael knew that it would be Hannah on the other side of the phone, heartbroken and disappointed that Michael had not been in contact and even though he wanted to tell her the truth about where he had been and what had happened, he knew that it would only cause problems. All Michael could really do was protect Hannah and warn her away from Father Hughes without giving too much away but he had to do it skilfully.

"This is Sophie. Let me guess, this is Michael," Sophie said after she had answered the personal phone. Michael started to speak but Sophie cut him off after he had spoken one word. "You were supposed to be outside, waiting for Hannah and taking her away from here for the night but instead, she is currently sulking upstairs which means that she will be bad-tempered in the morning and that is never good. So, I suggest you do something quick."

Michael sighed before finally speaking when he was sure that Sophie wasn't going interrupt. "If you would let me finish, I was going to say that I wanted to speak to Hannah, so I can explain some things. Is she available?"

"Yeah, give me a few minutes but don't blame me if she doesn't want to talk to you."

There was silence on the other end of the line and Michael prayed that one of the Sister's wouldn't pick up the phone. After a few minutes, there was the sound of Sophie shouting but Michael couldn't understand what she was saying and then there was some rustling before Hannah's sweet voice filled Michael's ears.

"What do you want?"

It wasn't the question that Michael was hoping for, but he was happy that Hannah was actually speaking to him and not giving him the cold shoulder. For the last hour, Hannah had tried to be mad at Michael, but she couldn't be, she was just more worried than anything else in the world. When Sophie had barged into the bedroom and told her that Michael was on the phone, Hannah didn't believe her, and it took some encouragement before Hannah strolled down the stairs.

"I want to say sorry," Michael answered. "I also want you to know that in the cupboard besides me is the finest whiskey in all of Small Heath, courtesy of Shelby Company Ltd and it has your name written on it..." Michael trailed off and took a deep breath before adding. "That's if you want to come and see me, of course."

Hannah sighed tenderly before agreeing to Michael's invitation. "You make me so angry but at the same time, you don't. Does that make sense? It doesn't make sense."

"Why?" he asked, chuckling at Hannah's ramble.

"I want to be angry with you, but I can't. Where have you been tonight, Michael?"

"Tommy needed me to stay behind for a business meeting and I couldn't ring you."

Hannah knew that he was lying because of what Polly had said on the phone and usually she would have left it because she was scared to argue with Michael but this time, she needed answers.

"That's strange because I spoke to your mum and she said that you left her house with intentions of coming here to the convent and picking me up."

Michael pulled a face before thinking fast on his feet. "That was the plan, but I had to nip into the betting shop to collect some money first and that's when Tommy summoned me. Hannah, you can ask him if you don't believe me."

"No, I do."

Michael felt guilty, he loathed lying to Hannah. "Are you going to come over then?"

"It depends." Hannah looked back at Sophia and nodded, allowing her friend to know that everything was good between herself and Michael.

"On what?"

"Are we just going to sit in your office all night because we did that this afternoon and you pretty much ignored me." There it was - Michael felt guilty again. "I want to talk to you."

Michael took a sharp intake of breath, confusing Hannah. "We don't have to talk, darling."

"I think we do otherwise we will just be sat there in silence."

"I never said anything about silence. I was thinking more along the lines of you bent over my desk with my hands wrapped - "

"Michael Gray you stop that right now," Hannah interrupted, turning away from Sophie in a desperate attempt to hide her blush that was growing at a rapid speed as Michael continued to list off a long list of erotic acts that he wanted to do with Hannah. "I'll be there in about half an hour."

Slamming down the phone, Hannah looked back towards Sophie and nervously running up the stairs to prepare herself for the 'date' with Michael.


	19. office fun. (smut)

( warnings - smut, masturbation, dirty talk, not your usually soft smut, michael being sad and also a lil shit )

Hannah hadn't even been in the room for one second before Michael was rushing over towards the door and kissing her hard. This kiss was desperate, an attempt to find his safe place which was always with Hannah. Taken back, Hannah placed both of her hands-on Michael's chest before pushing him away a little. They were still close, and Michael's breathing was laboured as he rested his forehead against Hannah's.

"You've been crying," she whispered, her voice soft and full of anxiety. Michael began to panic, he had checked himself over minutes before Hannah had arrived and he thought that he looked fairly decent but of course, Hannah had picked upon it. "What's wrong?"

Michael shook his head, ultimately moving Hannah's as well as he pulled her in close, not wanting to let go. "I am so glad to see you."

"Stop changing the subject, Michael," Hannah murmured into Michael's shoulder but Michael continued to disregard her as he ran his hand up and down her back. "Michael."

Hannah pushed Michael away properly before moving to sit down on his chair behind his desk. Michael turned around gradually and rubbed one hand across his face before breathing out heavily as he tried to think of some excuse for his tear stained face. Michael simply shrugged, he couldn't think of an excuse and Hannah would have to accept that.

"I am sorry," he said, looking down at the ground awkwardly. Michael wasn't the type of man to say sorry to anybody, but Hannah deserved it, he had let her down tonight.

"It's fine."

"It isn't, I've let you down."

"Michael, you really haven't, love. Business sometimes gets in the way and I understand that." Hannah smiled softly and put the bad thoughts to the back of her head. When Michael was ready to tell the truth, he would. Hannah could not pressure him into anything because it would only cause distress. "Now, come here."

"Why? What do you have in store for me?" Michael raised one eyebrow.

"I think it should be me asking those questions. You said some stuff on that phone and I want you to keep your promise."

Michael finally moved over to the chair where he held Hannah's hand, pulled her up so she was standing in front of him and looked into her eyes - trying to find any reservations. The anger and frustration that had been building up over the last few hours were ready to pour over for both.

"I want you to look after me, Hannah. I love having control, seeing you all vulnerable and whimpering." Michael's hand was trailing over Hannah's arms as he continued to speak about all the filthy things that had Hannah's weak at the knees. "But I want you to take care of me this time."

Hannah blinked a few times, surprised at Michael's submission. "I don't know how to - "

"Just tell me what to do, boss me about, ride me." Michael pushed Hannah against the desk and kissed her tenderly. Hannah responded by placing one hand on Michael's arm, the other on the edge of the desk. For someone who was meant to be taking control, Hannah was doing a bad job; her mind was elsewhere. "Come on, love. It's not as if you haven't sat on my cock before and - "

"I just love you," she blurted out, her stomach doing flips as Michael looked at her peculiarly. "I really love you and it scares me to death, Michael. I don't want to see you upset and hurt." Hannah wasn't stupid, she knew that the reason that he wanted to be dominated was because of the stress of the day; he needed to relax.

"God job I'm not hurt or upset then, isn't it?" Michael faked a smile and kissed Hannah again, this time she responded to the kiss with urgency – wanting to give him what he wanted. "I love you as well," he mumbled against her mouth as she pushed him back until he was sat on the chair. Hannah broke the kiss and moved to undo Michael's tie. "I love you so fucking much."

"I know you do."

Hannah straddled Michael's thighs and ran one of her hands across his chest. Hannah was not uncomfortable with the new-found dominance, she just didn't know how to go about it. With Michael's hands on her waist, Hannah rolled her hips over Michael's hardening cock and smiled arrogantly when a groan slipped from his lips.

"Just like that," he whispered, closing his eyes leisurely. Hannah repeated the action but this time with more pressure and Michael's eyes flung open as Hannah gripped onto his shoulders. "What a bloody angel." Hannah pressed a light kiss against Michael's neck as the pleasure tingled through her body. One moan slipped from her mouth and Michael was in ecstasy. "Look at my girl, look at my fucking girl. Look at how pretty you are, with your head thrown back, dripping onto my trousers." So much for Hannah being in control.

"Michael, it feels so good." They hadn't even got to intercourse and already the pair were moaning messes as they clung onto each other's bodies. Hannah's movements just continued to get faster and faster.

"I can't fucking do this," he said, startling Hannah for a moment as she thought that she had done something wrong but when she was thrown onto Michael's desk - gently, of course - Hannah came to the conclusion that she was in for a ride. "I need to fuck you now. It'd be a crime to have you orgasm without my cock in you." His discourteous mouth was still shocking to Hannah, but she secretly loved the words that slipped from his mouth when he was in dire need of a release. "Want to taste you first though."

Hannah moaned at his comment and helped him pull down her soaked underwear, throwing it somewhere across the room. Tommy had left the office so there was no need for the two of them to be quiet - Michael wanted to hear Hannah, wanted to hear the moans and whines that slipped from her lips, the 'I love you's' and whatever else she had to say, he just wanted Hannah.

Michael's tongue gliding along Hannah's core, circling her clit and gathering together her wet juices was erotic and immediately, Hannah was letting out soft moans. Michael was skilled, there was no doubt about that, and he always knew how to turn Hannah into a trembling mess. Michael himself was purring as he slipped his tongue inside of Hannah, not holding back in the slightest as he put all his frustrations and irritation into making Hannah feel brilliant.

"Jesus," she choked, her body rocking forward at Michael's actions. "Keep doing that," she said, referring to Michael's thumb that was circling her clit.

Michael moved his mouth to suck on the inside of Hannah's thigh - his thumb still doing wonders. There was silence for a few seconds as Michael looked up at Hannah from his place in between her thighs and the expression that he gave her told her all that she needed to know; she was his and he was hers. No matter what happened, the two of them would always come back to each other. A part of Michael believed that it was true love - nothing could stop them from being together, but he didn't want to curse anything, especially considering the fact that Father Hughes was now in the local area and ready to cause trouble in the Shelby family.

"I love you," he mumbled before latching his mouth onto Hannah's clit. He wanted her to know everything single second of the day that she was perfect to him, that he loved her more than he had ever loved anyone, that she made him feel things that he never thought that he would feel. Hannah was too good for Michael, everyone thought this, and he was so thankful to have her in his life.

"I love you - "

Hannah was cut off by two of Michael's fingers entering her, not being slow or loving. It was fast and harsh, sending Hannah into a trance as she listed off different curse words. Her back was arching off the desk as she clung onto Michael's hair, tugging it just how he liked and sometimes stopping to run her fingers through the brown, wavy locks.

"I love it when you are like this. All spread out for me, ready for me to take you."

Hannah had been unintentionally spreading her legs wider and wider for Michael, giving him better access to lick long stripes up her folds whenever he wasn't pushing his fingers deep inside of her.

Michael pushed away from Hannah when he could see that she was nearing her orgasm. Even though they had only been intimate with each other for over a month, Michael had already learnt to read Hannah during the sexual encounters and he knew how to work her body which gave her so much pleasure that she was ready to burst.

Hannah whined as she sat up, resting on her elbows. "Why did you pull away?" she questioned, reaching out for Michael. He was on his feet in seconds and was leaning down to kiss her innocently. "I was so close."

"I know... that's why I stopped." Michael raised one eyebrow and grabbed hold of Hannah's cheek, pulling her face to look at him. "Can you do something for me?"

Hannah nodded her head and fluttered her eyelashes, expecting his request to be some sort of sexual comment.

"Can you tell me that you love me again?"

Hannah pulled away a touch with confusion; she couldn't believe what she was hearing. Michael was defenceless and felt alone for some abnormal reason and it broke her heart in two because she couldn't fix whatever the issue was. Hannah was a nurse and from her experience with Grace, she learnt that she couldn't help and fix everyone, but she couldn't help Michael if he didn't tell her what the problem was. She could see that it was something personal and that was getting him down which was ultimately disturbing their relationship, but she was prepared to work through the hard times because the love that they had was strong.

"You know that I love you."

Michael agreed with Hannah's comment, he did know. However, he needed to hear it again, just to confirm that he wasn't on his own. "I know you do."

"I love you." Hannah pressed one single kiss against Michael's mouth. "I love you." Another to his cheek. "I love you." And finally, another kiss to his lips. "Please don't ever question my love for you because it hurts me."

"I wasn't questioning it, I promise. Just needed some sort of confirmation because I'm a fucking idiot tonight."

"Somethings wrong with you and I wish you would tell me what it was. There's nothing worse than seeing the man that you love all distraught." Hannah cupped both of Michael's cheeks, finally sitting up properly, and tilted his head up so that he was looking at her straight in the eyes. "Do you trust me?"

Michael nodded. "More than anything."

"So, why can't you tell me?"

Michael sighed before blinking away a few tears. "I don't want you to know because it would mess everything up and it will play on your mind forever. The words that I speak will taint your mind and you will not stop thinking about it. Hannah, I can't give you that pain."

"Will you ever tell me?" she dared to ask - not wanting to rile Michael up and make him aggravated but she just needed to know.

Michael thought for a second before moving his hand to the side and kissing the palm of Hannah's hand. "I promise you that when it's sorted, you will find out everything. Until then, just know that I love you and I'm doing this to keep you safe and away from danger."

Hannah accepted Michael's answer and all she could do was wait until the time came.

+++

After spending the night wrapped in each other's bodies and in the sheets of one of the spare bedrooms above the betting shop, Hannah enthusiastically got out of bed to get ready for the working day. Michael did his best to delay Hannah's good-byes - grabbing her waist and pulling her back down, sloppy kisses along her neck, flattering her with kind words and even promising to cook breakfast but Hannah couldn't risk being late again because of Michael and his persuasive ways.

"Do the nurses know that we are having sex?" Michael asked as he watched you get ready into your nursing uniform. You had brought your uniform around after the phone call where Michael confessed all of the things that he was going to do to you - you knew that you wouldn't be going back to the convent that night.

"No, why do you ask?"

Michael shrugged his shoulders as he moved himself further up the headboard. "I was just wondering. I'm curious to know what their reactions would be."

Hannah crawled up the bed and grabbed two cigarettes, lighting one for both her and Michael. "It's none of their business if you ask me. I can fuck who I want to fuck."

"That's true but could you imagine what the Sister's would do? Sex before marriage, it's a bloody sin," Michael exaggerated as he took a long drag of his cigarette. "Just have to get married, won't we?"

Hannah nearly choked on the smoke that was halfway down her throat at Michael's comment and she looked up at him with wide eyes. "Are you being serious?"

"Yes," Michael answered with a chuckle. "Not yet, of course. I need to get rid of all this horrible business that's going on at the moment, but I will marry you one day."

"What if I said that I didn't want to marry you?" Hannah raised one eyebrow and smirked. The blush on her cheek wasn't even embarrassing anymore and Michael wouldn't make fun of her because of it - he loved the fact that could make Hannah blush from just a few simple words. Whether it being speaking about marriage or telling her that she looked beautiful.

Michael tutted before stubbing his cigarette out, doing the same with Hannah's once he had taken it from her fingers. Michael placed both hands on Hannah's waist as he pulled her down, so she was laying on top of him, her head resting on his bare chest. "I'd say that you are lying."

Hannah rolled her eyes before kissing Michael's chest. "Mm, I suppose you are right."

"Can I say something?"

"Of course."

"I've never seen someone look so fucking hot in a nurse's uniform before and I just want to rip it off you."

Michael chuckled before flipping Hannah's body, her back now pressed against his chest and stomach. Michael's hand began to trail down Hannah's uniform, slowly hiking the pinafore up.

"I have to go to work," Hannah told him although she made no attempt to stop his actions. Michael continued to hike up Hannah's uniform until it was rested at the bottom of her stomach, her underwear on full display. If someone was to enter the room, they would have an eyeful of Hannah but the two of them were too lost in their desires. "Hurry up then," she insisted, her own hand falling on top of Michael's to drag his hand over to her underclothing.

Michael's breath was hot on Hannah's ears as he whispered, "Do it yourself." Hannah gasped as Michael swiped his hand away from Hannah's, moving to rest at the bottom of her stomach on top of her uniform. Hannah twisted her head to the side slightly to look at Michael, trying to see if he was joking or not but all she saw was dominance and hunger. "Give me a kiss first."

Hannah was happy to do that and before he could even finish the sentence, her mouth was pressed against Michael's as she claimed him. The abrupt desire to please Michael raced through her veins as she took control of Michael, slipping her tongue into his mouth and moaning as one of his hands moved to twist in her unmade hair.

Michael pulled away and gripped Hannah's chin before nodding once. "Go on."

"Michael..." she trailed off, her voice unsteady. "I want to make you feel good."

"You do every single day, sweetheart."

Hannah's heart warmed at the comment and she gave Michael another kiss, this one passionate and full of love. During the kiss, Hannah moved her hand down her body and slipped it underneath her underwear, unknown to Michael who was too caught up in the feeling of Hannah's tongue doing outlines of his lips. It wasn't until Hannah touched her clit and a soft moan slipped from her lips that Michael pulled away.

"Good girl," he cooed, watching as Hannah automatically rolled her hips over her hand. Michael was always in heaven when he was around Hannah but seeing her like this, pleasing herself while rolling around on top of his body, was better than heaven. Michael moved Hannah, so the back of her head was resting on his shoulders and he could easily turn to press light kisses along her cheek and jaw, all while having the perfect view of her fingers entering her.

Michael could feel himself growing harder by the second, but it wasn't his time for a release, this was Hannah's moment. Hannah stopped to pull her underwear down, giving her better access. At this point, she was no longer self-conscious and simply craved her release. The fact that Michael was watching her every move and getting harder, which she could feel, was making the whole situation a lot more sensual.

"Looks like you've been done this before." Michael gripped Hannah's waist tighter. "Have you got yourself off by using your fingers before, Hannah?"

Hannah blushed as she pulled her fingers out to rub her clit, her juices soaking her hand and the bed sheets. "Yes," she admitted, letting out a deep breath.

"When?" Michael continued, waiting for Hannah's response tolerantly. At first, all he got was a few whimpers and moans as Hannah got herself closer to her orgasm but when she finally responded, Michael was half-shocked.

"The other week when you went down to London for a few days. I missed you and I was alone in the bedroom." Her confessions were a blessing to Michael who groaned as he pictured Hannah laid on the bed, her hair flat against the sheets, working herself closer as she thought about Michael and the times they had spent together. "It's sinful, I know."

"In the convent?" he asked, to which Hannah shook her head. "Where then? Whose bedroom?" Michael gripped Hannah's chin again and turned her to look at him - confusion and anger swirling around in his eyes. Hannah stopped herself from going over the edge as she pulled her fingers out.

"Yours. Polly asked me to do a bit of food shopping for her and when I got back, she wasn't there, and I was just desperate."

"My bed?"

"Yes, I'm sorry."

"Nothing to be sorry about, love," Michael said, moving a piece of hair that had fallen into Hannah's face. "I wish I had been there to watch you."

Hannah nodded, agreeing with Michael's comment. "Thought about you the whole time."

Michael opened his mouth in surprise before kissing Hannah hard. "Fucking perfect," he mumbled against her mouth before flipping the two of them over, so he was on top. Not taking his time, Michael released his cock from his briefs, sighing softly at the release before entering her without compassion. "Not the innocent girl I first met, are you?" he teased. "Look at what I've done to you."

Hannah moaned at Michael's words, her hands gripping his shoulders as she brought him down for a long, heated kiss. Michael had to stop every now and again, his thrusts becoming sloppy because he was close. It was almost embarrassing, but Hannah did that to him, she made him weak. Somehow, he managed to keep his orgasm at bay as he rubbed her clit softly and slowly, a contrast to his rough thrusts.

"Wonder what all of the people at the church would think if they saw you right now. Moaning and clenching around my cock."

"Wonder what all of your cousins would think if they saw you all weak when I was on my knees," Hannah fired back, smirking slightly as she dragged her fingernails across Michael's chest.

"I'd fucking kill them if they ever saw you like that - for my eyes only," he returned before pulling one of Hannah's legs over his shoulder, giving him a better angle. "God, the thought of you on my bed, getting yourself off while I'm miles away. You are going to kill me, Hannah. Next time, come to my office and call me, can't have my girl using her fingers to get her release without me being involved. Do you like the sound of that?"

Never in her wildest dreams did Hannah expect to ever be in this position. A beautiful man above her, his thrusts deep and hard, as he spoke about talking dirty to her down the phone. Not even ashamed to admit that she did like the sound of it, Hannah nodded her head. "I do."

Michael chuckled darkly. "I know, I know." Michael turned to look at the clock before chuckling again. "Look at that, late for work yet again. What excuse are you going to use this time? You can't exactly tell them that you were being fucked by your boyfriend." Michael's words were broken up every few times due to his moaning, signalling to Hannah that he was close.

"I'm going to cum," she breathed out, her mouth wide open as she arched her back. Within seconds, Hannah was soaking Michael's cock as she moaned loudly, her orgasm taking over her whole body. Michael came soon after, his orgasm activated by Hannah's. He buried his head in Hannah's clothed shoulder and bit down on the work uniform to keep his moans and cries at bay. When the two of them had finished and they were feeling completely satisfied, Hannah restarted the conversation. "Where did that come from?"

Michael chuckled before shaking his head. "I really don't fucking know." Michael wrapped his arms around Hannah's waist and dragged her up she was sat on thighs, her uniform dropping back down. "Did you like it though?"

"Loved it," she whispered drowsily, her forehead dropping to Michael's shoulder as the two of them held each other close. "Can't wait to do it again."

"Never satisfied, are you?"

"Not when it comes to you," Hannah grinned and kiss Michael's nose. "I really have to go now."

Michael pouted before nodding his head. "Can I take you to London for the day next Tuesday?"

Hannah shook her head sympathetically as she slid her underwear back on and grabbed the rest of her stuff. "I got nominated to do some charity events for the convent and church. I can come and see you afterwards."

"Who with?" Michael sat on the edge and looked up at Hannah, frantically waiting for her answer.

"A man called Father Hughes." Hannah leaned down and kissed Michael on the cheek. "I have to go. I love you."

Michael watched as Hannah sprinted out of the room, preparing herself for a telling off from Sister Maria. Michael remained on the edge of the bed, his hands holding his head as he thought about Father Hughes and how he was ready to kill him.


	20. overhearing conversations.

Father Hughes was waiting on the steps for Hannah at bang on eight in the morning. For the whole morning since waking up, Hannah had not been looking forward to spending the day with Father Hughes. She knew that there was something suspicious about him: the way he grinned, acted, walked. The Sister's seemed perfectly content with Father Hughes and could not see any faults with him - that was only because he was a well-respected member of the church who always did his bit, including helping orphaned children. The Sister's would contain to remain unconscious to his obvious strangeness, simply because they need the money to continue with the mother and baby homes. The maternity home was already struggling, and the council weren't doing their bit when it came to helping the mothers of Small Heath, leaving it all down to the convent and whoever else would help raise money.

"It's lovely to see you Nurse Anderson," Father Hughes said, holding his hand out for Hannah to shake. "You look beautiful today, may I add."

"It's Hannah," she told him, not returning the comment that he had made. "Where are we going first?" Her words were blunt and monotone, showing Father Hughes that Hannah obviously didn't want to be there. She would have rather spent the day at the hospital scrubbing blood from the hospital bed sheets - it was more entertaining than Father Hughes.

Father Hughes pointed towards his car and Hannah become rigid, she didn't want to be in his company let alone a small, restricted area. "We are having a meeting with the couple who own the community centre to see if we can arrange some sort of fundraising event. I've heard that baby competitions are getting popular."

Hannah nodded her head as she got herself comfortable in the car and far away from Father Hughes.

A one-sided discussion was the only conversation that was made during the journey to the community centre. Father Hughes asked Hannah questions about midwifery, her personal life, London and other themes that didn't concern him. Hannah merely replied with a hum or a one-worded answer. Her thoughts were engrossed on Michael and how she felt awful for letting him down today. A trip down to London seemed perfect but of course, she had been given the chore of being with Father Hughes all day. The only thing that was going to get her through the excruciating hours would be the fact that she was going to see Michael later in the evening and the two of them were going to spend some well-deserved personal time together, along with a date at the cinema if either one of then felt up to it attending. Dates had become less common due to the increase in business over at the Shelby place but occasionally, Michael found the time to take Hannah out for some dinner or lunch – the two of them even attending the tea shop that they first visited during their second encounter when she had been blissfully unaware of Michael's dodgy dealings. There were even a couple of times where Michael attempted to cook dinner, but Hannah secretly knew that he recruited Esme and Polly to help him out seen as he hadn't cooked in years. Still, she remained silent and thanked him.

During the meeting, Hannah barely got a chance to talk, Father Hughes doing all of the deals for her. There was no point Hannah being there, but she didn't dare say anything to Sister Maria. The older woman had threatened Hannah with a strike if she turned up late for work again and demanded an explanation. Hannah would have been kicked out on the streets if she had told Sister Maria that she had been sleeping with Michael the morning she was supposed to be getting her rota and arranging clinic.

"So, we can have the building for the day for free?" Hannah finally raised her voice and quietened Father Hughes as she spoke to the nice ageing couple. Hannah had become friends with the two of them due to them letting the convent use the place for clinic.

"Yes, that's fine by us. We would expect everything to be exactly how it was before the event started but I'm sure you lovely nurses can do that," Mr. Barnes said, smiling kindly at Hannah. "Do you know what you are planning to do yet?"

"We are - "

"No, we don't," Hannah interrupted Father Hughes. "I'm sure that we will think of something soon though and then I will be back in touch with you to discuss the specifics. This is very generous of you Mr and Mrs. Barnes."

Midway through the meeting, Father Hughes left to make a hasty call in one of the secluded offices and when he returned, his face was made of thunder. If it was possible, you would have seen the steam that was coming from his ears as he dragged his chair out and sat down in front of the desk with a huff. Something had rattled him big time.

After confirming the details, Hannah and Father Hughes made their way back into the car. Father Hughes had an irritated look on his face, he didn't like losing the control in a conversation and Hannah's defiance was something that he somewhat admired. Still, he wasn't going to let a woman take over his job. The phone call with the Russian's only heightened his rage and Father Hughes wasn't ready to let Thomas Shelby ruin his career and everything that he had worked for - legally and illegitimate.

"Where are we going now?" Hannah asked as she checked her hair in the small compact mirror that Michael had brought her back from London. "Didn't you mention wanting to go and see a building for the orphanage?"

Father Hughes, who was looking out of the window, turned to Hannah and shook his head. "Not today, I have an important meeting with some business acquaintances of mine. I will drop you off at the nunnery." Hannah exhaled a sigh of relief before nodding. "However, I must ask you a question, Miss. Anderson."

"Go on."

"Would you like to go to dinner with me tonight? There's a lovely restaurant just outside of Birmingham that I think you would enjoy. It would be just me and you, but it will give us some extra time to discuss fundraising ideas." Father Hughes smiled sickly at Hannah as he waited for her response. It was noticeable that he was trying to describe the dinner as merely for business ideas, but Hannah knew what his true intentions were, and they didn't sit easily with her.

Hannah tried not to frown at the question and instead courteously smiled before shaking her head. "I don't think that my partner would be happy with that and I have plans tonight anyway. I am sorry to let you down," she answered, lying about the last part. Hannah wanted nothing more but to have it out with Father Hughes and tell him that she did not want to do business with him, but Sister Maria's voice was playing in the back of her mind, reminding her about the strike that she was bound to get sooner or later.

"With your partner?" Hannah nodded her head. "What's the fortunate man called?"

Hannah hesitated before answering, "Michael Gray."

Father Hughes tilted his head to the side and blinked a couple of times – the name painfully familiar. "Is he related to the Shelby's?"

Hannah was frozen as she stared ahead at Father Hughes, petrified that she had screwed up all chances of the convent getting together enough money to keep them open. It was hard enough keeping the relationship with Michael a secret from the mother house who would be furious if they learnt that someone who was associated with the convent was dating a known criminal.

"Yes, he is. Why do you ask?" Along with Hannah's nerves, she was also curious as to why Father Hughes would ask such a question. The Shelby family were not known to be devoted to God and from what she had seen, they did not attend church services on a Sunday – neither did Hannah in fairness but that was because she was busy delivering babies most of the times or doing her rounds. Hannah thought that Father Hughes might have been aware of the Shelby name through gossips and rumours, just like she had been once upon a time, or he may have known Arthur through Linda who was frequently present at Sunday service.

Father Hughes chuckled before starting the car. "No reason. Let's get you back home."

+++

After finishing the meetings earlier, Hannah had decided to join in with clinic day - mostly to get back into Sister Maria's good books after the previous week's episode. There was nothing that Hannah could do to make Sister Maria like Michael - she understood this - but, she wanted to be able to talk to the other nurses, even the Sister's, about Michael and discuss all the caring and lovely things that he did for her. It was false hope that kept Hannah from snapping whenever a horrible dig was made about Michael during breakfast or dinner time – she silently hoped that one day everyone would accept Michael for who he was, not for his families' antics.

"Mrs. Fisher, could you please go to cubicle three."

Mrs. Fisher smiled at Hannah before standing up, with the help of the woman next to her, and made her way over to the unoccupied booth. Hopping onto the bed, she looked around the room and waited for Hannah to return with her medical records.

"Is this your first time?" Hannah asked as she closed the curtains. Mrs. Fisher nodded before looking down at the ground. "It's always frightening but it's nothing to worry about. Think about that baby that you will have when all of this is over and finished with. Trust me, you will be grateful."

"I can't wait for it to be out if I am being honest with you. I'm struggling to sleep, regularly feeling sick and the smell of any food disgusts me." Mrs. Fisher started to laugh as she laid back on the bed, pulling up her dress for Hannah. "Nurse Anderson, can I ask you something?"

"Of course, you can," Hannah replied, expecting it to be something to do with labour or pregnancy. Hannah started to write down a few notes, but she stopped once Mrs. Fisher had asked her question.

"Are you seeing Polly Gray's son?" The woman asked, her voice full of concern which bewildered Hannah.

She didn't want to listen to someone talk bad about Michael, she had enough of that at the convent or when she was with other patients who wanted to know everything about the Shelby business, what went on behind closed doors and if they really were as cruel as everyone made them out to be. Hannah was sworn to secrecy and would never release any information about the Shelby's without their permission so most of the time, she ended up telling the patients to mind their own business. Although, there was a couple of mothers who were genuinely interested in the relationship and congratulated Hannah on finding a partner – one who could, hopefully, promise her a decent future.

Hannah nodded. "Michael? Yes, I am."

"Is that wise?"

Hannah sighed deeply, letting Mrs. Fisher know that she was aggravated with the question, but she had to remain professional and not snap back. It would only lead to a complaint and Hannah couldn't risk having that on her record, it would jeopardise any future opportunities.

"Yes, I believe it is." Hannah began her work - checking over Mrs. Fisher, writing down notes, finding out if she was going to be having a home delivery but the conversation always spun back round to Michael. "I don't think that my personal life is any of your concern, Mrs. Fisher," Hannah finally said.

Mrs. Fisher shook her head as she sat herself up, pulling her dress down in the process. "It's only because nobody wants to see your heart get broken. There's a lot of mothers around here that like you, Hannah, and we have seen what the Shelby family can do to people. It was a few years ago but one of the mothers lost her son during a boxing fight with Arthur Shelby. It broke her heart and she hasn't been the same since."

Hannah smiled before putting the clipboard underneath her arm. "That's horrible for the mother and I feel for her. However, Michael was not involved in what happened. The last time I checked, I was dating Michael not Arthur. Now, is there anything else I can do for you?" Hannah paused before raising one finger in the air. "That's to do with your baby, not my love life." Mrs. Fisher shook her head. "That's good. Also, I'll have you know that Michael is a very good man. The people around here just seem to focus on the bad things. You really shouldn't label people because it doesn't suit your Mrs. Fisher. If you have anything bad to say about the man that I love, then you keep it to yourself because I do not want to hear it. Understood?"

"I think I'll be changing midwives."

Hannah sniggered. "You do that. Goodbye, Mrs. Fisher."

There was a chance that Mrs. Fisher would drop Hannah right in it and complain but after listening to Mrs. Fisher repeatedly stick her nose in Hannah's business, she had finally had enough. Once the maddening woman had left the cubicle and the curtain were closed, Hannah threw the clipboard onto the bed and sat down on the crumpled-up sheets. Everything was catching up with her rapidly – the lack of sleep, Michael's dramatic mood changes, Sister Maria's threats.

"I think you need to go home."

Hannah snapped out of her trance and looked at Alexandra who was looking down at Hannah with compassion. "Did you hear all of that?" Alexandra nodded. "I'm sorry, I just lost it with her. She just kept going on and on about Michael. Kept telling me bad things that he had done but I wasn't bothered because I already knew it all and it's like everyone in this bloody city is trying to ruin what we have, and I won't – "

"Don't explain yourself to me," Alexandra interrupted with a smile, signalling to Hannah that she wasn't annoyed. "Go home or go and see Michael, I don't mind. I will cover the rest of your patients and I will also make sure that Mrs. Fisher keeps her mouth shut about what's gone on in here today."

Hannah nodded before standing up, grabbing her belongings and walking away from the community centre. She was exhausted and just wanted her bed but like always, her feet took her over to the betting shop on Watery Lane.

Since the news about Hannah and Michael's relationship had spread throughout the streets of Birmingham, Hannah had found herself becoming more respected around the area - despite the few odd people that tried to ruin the good thing that was going on in her life. People moved out of the way, smiled softly at her - she had even been offered some free fruit down at the market. It was because of Michael; they all feared his reputation and connection to Tommy Shelby. One wrong move towards Hannah and they knew that they would be beaten to a pulp or even worse, buried in a ditch with the eyes and throat slit.

Even when she entered the betting shop, people would smile at Hannah and show her the way to Michael's office, despite her attending the area almost every single day when Michael was busy with work. However, on this one particular day, Hannah was surprised to find that the betting shop was empty. It was hours before closing time and it was rare for Tommy to let someone have the day off, let alone every single employee.

"Where is everybody?" Hannah asked Arthur who was sat at the dinner table with the newspaper and a hot cup of tea. For the first time in a while, Arthur looked calm.

Arthur glanced up at Hannah and smiled before pointing towards the pot of tea, silently asking Hannah if she wanted one. After Hannah had politely declined Arthur's offer, he answered her question. "Tommy has given them the day off - something to do with personal business and he doesn't need any of the fellas around. Michael is here though, and Polly was loitering about, don't know where she has gone. John and Esme have gone out of town for a bit with the kids, trying to get some time away from this shithole."

"Oh, good. I'll go through and see Michael then. Enjoy your cup of tea, Arthur."

Before Hannah could reach the door, she was stopped by Arthur. "Are you coming to see my Linda next Wednesday?"

"Yeah, I am. I believe that she's on my rota for about five in the afternoon, so I expected a cup of tea then, Arthur."

Arthur nodded before returning to his newspaper - secretly finding it interesting as he read about the wedding announcements. Hannah chuckled to herself before walking through to Michael's office. Due to the way that the betting shop was laid out, you could see straight into Michael's office due to the large window.

Hannah stopped in her footsteps as she watched Michael pick up a gun, Tommy stood beside him as he pointed to different areas, clearing teaching Michael how to shoot a gun. Tommy took the gun and raised it up into the air, mumbling a few words before Michael mirrored Tommy's actions. The two men had not noticed Hannah's presence, so she decided to make herself known by knocking on the wooden door. Instantly, she could hear a few curse words and the sound of a draw being shut loudly before the door opened. Tommy awkwardly smiled at Hannah before moving out of the way, Hannah's eyes never leaving Tommy's as he walked away.

"You are early, love," Michael said, his breathing heavy, as he smoothed out his suit and checked out his desk, making sure that no evidence of his and Tommy's conversation was placed on top. Fortunately, Tommy had managed to hide the bullets and silencer before Hannah had spotted anything.

Hannah knew about the business that most of the Shelby's did - even if they did try to remain legal - and decided to say nothing about the sight that she had saw. Knowing Hannah, she would have got the wrong end of the stick completely and she did not want to fight with Michael after such a stressful day.

"What's wrong?" Michael asked, noticing Hannah's aloofness. He feared that she had seen him with the gun, which would only lead to questions and more lies but instead, she gave him an answer that he hated even more. Michael sat down on the chair and gestured for Hannah to go over.

"Father fucking Hughes." Hannah groaned before moving to sit down on Michael's lap. "I don't like him at all and I'm being forced to spend most of my time with him because of this stupid fundraising shit. I mean, you offered the convent enough money to keep us going for ages but because of their bloody beliefs and pride, they declined it."

"You're swearing," Michael said, trying to change the subject away from Father Hughes. His name caused Michael's stomach to tighten up and his temper to flare. "You never swear, it sounds alien coming from your mouth."

Hannah shrugged before resting her forehead on Michael's shoulder. "It's that man, he irritates me. Guess what he asked me?" Hannah pulled away and looked at Michael for him to guess but he simply raised one eyebrow. "He asked me out for dinner."

Michael's jaw clenched and his grip on Hannah's waist got tighter. It was stupid to be jealous; Hannah would never, ever, ever go with Father Hughes, but he hated the thought of someone trying it on with her, enemy or not. Hannah sensed the change in Michael's mood and soothingly ran her thumb across his chin before placing a kiss on his lips. Hannah only picked up on the jealously - not the raging anger that was building up as he continued to think about the Father with Hannah. Tommy had mentioned that Father Hughes was a tactical man and Michael did not want Hannah to be dragged into the dangerous business. If Father Hughes was using the convent and Hannah as a cover-up to get closer to Tommy and the business, then Michael would never forgive himself.

"No need to get jealous over some creep," she whispered in his ear, pressing another kiss to the thin skin below. "I told him no, of course. Why would I want to see anybody else when I have you?"

"Tell him to fuck off if he says anything else to you and I mean it, darling. It's bad enough him having to be near you for business meetings and I don't want to think about him trying to get on you, it disgusts me."

Hannah tilted her head to the side before sighing. "It disgusts me as well, Michael. Hopefully, all this fundraising stuff will be over and done with quickly and then I can go back to being a full-time midwife and nurse. Speaking of being a midwife, I have had one of my patients move to a different midwife because they do not like me."

"Hannah, Hannah, Hannah," he said softly, moving to run his hands through Hannah's loose hair. "It's impossible to not like you."

Hannah hummed before tutting. "No, this woman had an issue with me dating you. I practically told her to sling her hook and stop getting involved with my personal life. They all just anger me, Michael, like really – "

Michael grabbed onto Hannah's hands that were waving around in the air as she spoke about Mrs. Fisher and how she had put a bleak mood on the day. "You are getting angry again. Do you want to go out for some drinks, love?"

Hannah nodded before running one hand across her face. "We can't be out late. I have work tomorrow and I need to be awake and on time."

Nodding his head, Michael effortlessly picked Hannah up and placed her on the desk, not leaving the office until he was satisfied that she was completely and utterly happy.


	21. arthur and linda shelby, drunken confessions and promises.

Due to Alexandra's quick thinking and charming charisma, Mrs. Fisher remained quiet about the little spat that she and Hannah had after too many nasty comments about Michael and the rest of the Shelby family. Alexandra had also promised to not breath a word about the quarrel to any of the Sister's because she knew full well that it would land Hannah in trouble and she did not want to lose her best friend. Despite Hannah's mistakes, she was an excellent midwife and the mother's in the district where she worked adored Hannah, despite their dislike for the man that she was madly in love with. Like Hannah had always said, it was nobody's business and she would continue to love and adore Michael.

The day had started off well. Hannah had spoke about Tommy's latest business venture which included helping the working-class children and for once in her life, Sister Maria seemed reasonably impressed with something that the blinders were doing. Michael had found in the morning; he was a bit iffy, but he soon perked up when Hannah promised to see him sometime in the week. However, the day turned miserable when Sister Margaret informed Hannah that she would once again be nursing Mr. Maxwell who had got into some more bother at his place of work. Betty offered to see Mr. Maxwell for the next week and a bit until Hannah's schedule had lowed considerably. Hannah was extremely thankful for this. She couldn't cope with Mr. Maxwell and his flirty comments that made her feel uncomfortable.

Linda Shelby was last on Hannah's rounds and a good, hot cup of tea was what she needed after spending the whole day on her feet, nursing injuries and explaining to one mother that she wasn't in labour for the fifth time that week. Hannah could only hope that Arthur had remembered to have the brew waiting for her when she arrived at their house, along with a cigarette which would take away the anxieties that she was feeling when it came to Michael.

Michael was getting better - at least that's what Hannah had thought. The terrible mood-swings and detached looks had pretty much vanished but when Hannah had mentioned seeing Father Hughes again to discuss a property that had recently become available in the rural area, the unwelcoming mood began to cloud over their relationship. Hannah was worried about his mental state more than anything. She could gradually see him losing his way and the mumbling that he did in his sleep only worried her more. It was apparent that Michael was not an open man and kept certain things to himself - only to shield Hannah from any harm that could possibly end up hurting her - but she sometimes wished that he would open to her and acknowledge the truth instead of a living a life of dishonesty and damaging their relationship. Whatever happened, Hannah would always have his back and would not give up on Michael; she was too in love with the enigmatic boy.

Polly had been reserved as well. Every time that Hannah popped round to the house to give Polly a hand - either with the dishware or doing the weekly shop - Hannah would take note of the baggy eyelids and messed-up hair. Never questioning Polly, because Hannah feared that Polly may snap back at Hannah and dislike her for life - she continued with her and acted as if nothing was wrong with the older woman. Hannah had secretly interrogated Michael about Polly's state, but he was entirely unmindful and said that it was nothing, probably just due to the stress of the business, Tommy, the grace of death and everything else that seemed to be collapsing around them.

"You've been stood on this doorstep for about a minute now daydreaming," Arthur said, knocking Hannah out of her daze. "Linda and I have been watching you from the window and laughing. No offence."

Hannah waved one hand in the air before smiling groggily. "I'm just exhausted, I am sorry."

Arthur shook his shook his head, dismissing Hannah's apology because there was no need for it before taking her weighty medical bag and showing her through to the kitchen. Hannah just about burst into tears when she saw the cup of tea sitting on top of the red and white spotted tablecloth, steam blowing up from the fluid. "I could kiss you right now, Arthur."

Linda gasped facetiously. "Hannah, I do not appreciate that, and I don't think that your darling Michael would either," she said, light-heartedly.

Hannah giggled before taking a sip, her body instantly relaxing. After dreaming of being a midwife for so long, she never expected it to be so challenging. There was no regrets when it came to the career path that she had chosen and she loved it with every bone in her body but even after months and months of being on Small Heath soil, she was still finding it hard to fall into the routine of getting up in the middle of the night if one of her patients had gone into labour and she definitely was still not used to dealing with the drunken idiots who had turned up to work pissed out of their head and ended up injured.

It was better than being a housewife which was what her mother had wanted Hannah to be there. According to the mum that she no longer saw or spoke to because of the differences in their lives, being a housewife was the greatest job that a woman could do. Hannah disagreed massively, and most nights were spent arguing with her mother about the social norms and values of todays society and how things had changed for women since the suffragettes had tackled the stereotypical society. Her mother, the most old-fashioned woman in the world, continued to disagree with Hannah's view points and refused to even accept the fact that women were now working. Still, Hannah had noticed the one single tear that had slipped from her mother's eyelids proudly as Hannah graduated.

A part of her missed London; the bright lights, the constant chatter that filled the streets and the wonderful market that Hannah would visit with her friends. She even missed her parents a little bit but being with Michael made the homesickness vanish as he held her close, whispering about the future that they would one day share.

Hannah always remembered the first time that she had arrived in Small Heath - no bags underneath her eyes and fully fresh after taking a break once her exams had finished. It had been an experience to say the least; someone had tried to steal her bag; a young boy had kicked a football straight in Hannah's direction and she had bumped into at least two fights during her longish walk to the convent. On the journey to the religious order, Hannah had doubted her choice but once she was settled in, she knew that there was no going back. Small Heath was her home, despite its blatantly obvious and unchangeable flaws.

"Are you alright, Hannah?" Arthur inquired, sincerely sounding worried which warmed Hannah's heart. Hannah had once thought that she would fear Arthur the most out of the Shelby brothers due to his intimidating and overpowering ways, but it seemed as if Linda had tamed him and she was starting to learn that he was one of the sweeter brothers, despite what others had said.

Hannah nodded her head before placing the cup of tea down and nodding towards Linda. "Let's get you checked over then, Linda." As Linda stood up and walked over to the sofa, Hannah pulled a face and looked back at Arthur. "You told me that she was three months pregnant."

Arthur squinted his eyes and looked at Linda who looked just as confused. "That's what the doctor said. I promise you, I wasn't making it up."

Hannah stood up and walked over to Linda, helping her sit down on the sofa. "I'd say you are about five months pregnant, love. Seems to me like this baby is going to be here sooner than you expected. Still, you have another four months to prepare yourself for motherhood."

"The doctor said three months though, I'm sure that he did."

Hannah leaned up and placed one hand on her hip, staring down at Linda's bulging stomach. "Look, I might be wrong, but I am pretty sure that you are five months pregnant. Which doctor did you go too?"

"One in London, we thought they would be better down there," Linda answered, smirking when Hannah put on a faux insulted expression.

Hannah nodded again after a couple of seconds before grabbing a piece of paper from her medical bag and noting down the name of the local doctor who worked closely with the convent. "I'm sure Dr. Fredrick will be able to give you a precise answer but if you let me do the measurements, I'm sure that I can give you a fairly accurate answer."

"I'd hope so, you are the midwife," Arthur retorted, chortling at his own comment. "Right, I will leave you two ladies together."

Arthur tried to leave but he ended up remaining outside of the door, listening in on the conversation that Linda and Hannah were having as they discussed the different stages of birth. After a while, Arthur ended up walking away and over to the phone to ring Polly. There were some vital things to discuss; mostly Tommy.

"And who is this?" Polly's drunken singing crackled through the phone and Arthur could almost picture her trying to stand up straight with a glass of whiskey besides her and a burning cigarette. "Arthur, love, is this you?"

"Yeah, Pol," he responded before running one hand over the wooden desk. "I wanted to talk to you about Tommy."

Polly scoffed before waving one hand in the air, not that Arthur could see the action. "I don't give a shit about Tommy or any fucker else. I especially don't give a fuck about that bloody Inspector."

"How much have you had to drink?" Arthur questioned, interested as to why Polly was bringing up Inspector Campbell. It had been ages since he was last on the scene and Arthur had thought that Polly had put the phase of her life behind her. He was quite obviously incorrect. "Is Michael there?"

"Not enough," Polly answered, laughing piercingly at her own comment. "And no, he's not. I'm presuming that he's with that midwife."

Arthur sighed loudly, and Polly scoffed, once again, at Arthur's frustration. "Her name is Hannah and she is currently at our house."

Polly hummed before the sound of Polly drinking rang through the speaker. "I have to go now Arthur and deal with the appalling immoralities that I have committed. I will see you at work, bright and early for another fucking tedious day."

The line went dead, and Arthur shook his head before standing up and walking to the living room. He expected to see Linda with her dress pulled up and legs spread apart but fortunately, Hannah and Linda had just finished. "Can you do me a favour?" Arthur asked, directing the question towards Hannah who looked nervous for a quick second before nodding, noting down the fact that Arthur looked more frightened. "I need you to go over to Polly's for me on your way home and make sure that she is okay. I've just had an unpleasantly bizarre phone call with her and whatever she says, ignore it and just make sure that she gets to bed, please."

Hannah nodded; not wanting to reject Arthur's request. It was clear that Polly was the backbone of the family and was the one that kept them together and to see Arthur in a panicked state about his Aunt let Hannah know that she was right to think that things were going badly within Polly's life.

"Of course. Do you need anything else doing?"

Arthur shook his head. "Thank you, it means a lot." Arthur reached into his coat pocket and pulled out a note – bigheartedly handing it Hannah. "I would give you a lift, but I have no petrol and John was meant to be bring some round earlier on. Here's the money for the bus though."

Hannah looked down at the note and then towards Linda who was smiling at her husband's generosity. "Take it, Hannah," she said, taking note of Hannah's awkwardness. She did not like taking money from friends; even if she was close with them.

"It's a lovely offer but I can walk, I don't mind." Hannah outstretched her hand with the money in before pulling it back towards her body. Her feet were killing her, to the point that she could feel the sores rubbing against her tights and the back of her leather shoe with every step. Polly's house was a fair distance away and the bus was enormously tempting. "Thank you, both of you. I'll be sure to give you the money back."

Linda chuckled before waving her hand in the air. "Don't be daft, it's the least we can do."

Hannah finally said her goodbyes, hugging Linda and organising another day where she could pop in and thanking Arthur for his kind-heartedness that was not seen often.

Polly was next on her journey and Hannah couldn't help but feel panicky as she waited for the bus to arrive. It was known that Polly had a furious temper that she usually kept disguised until one of her nephews messed up and she was forced to put them in their place. There had been a few times when Hannah had walked into Polly's house to find Michael sat at the kitchen table, nonchalantly looking at the other wall as Polly screamed at him for getting into some bar fight or for causing some sort of trouble. When Hannah had first come across Polly's anger, she had psychologically decided that she would never get on the wrong side of Polly ever. At least with the boys, she couldn't hurt them but with Hannah, she could have done anything, and nobody would have known.

The whole ride over to Polly's house was full of restlessness – mostly because Hannah didn't know where she was going and, she didn't know if she could handle Polly on her own. It was getting late and the betting shop should have closed for the night meaning that Michael would either be on his way back home or already there but knowing him, he was probably still doing some last-minute work for Tommy. He had mentioned something to Hannah about becoming an official accountant, mostly because Tommy needed everything to be legal, and that a contract would have to be sighed. Therefore, tethering him to the corporation for life – no escape, just continuous menace and apprehension but Hannah would live with that, for Michael's sake.

+++

"Polly..." Hannah's voice trailed off as she walked into the house, finally successful in finding the contemporary build. The living room with jam-packed with smoke, some lenient jazz melody playing, and the aroma of booze was prominent.

"Hannah," Polly slurred, her eyes slowly shutting as she laid on the sofa. Michael was nowhere to be seen meaning Hannah would have to sort Polly out on her own. "I think I've drank too much."

Hannah chuckled light-heartedly before nodded. "I do as well. Come on, let's get you to bed."

Polly allowed Hannah to grab her arm and place it over her shoulder as she stumbled towards the bedroom, Hannah struggling. "I don't like sleeping."

"Why's that?"

"I always see the life draining from his eyes and I'm not even bothered about it. Still, he haunts me every single night. I sometimes think that I hear that stupid Irish accent but it's just my mind playing tricks on me."

Hannah looked up at Polly with misunderstanding. "Who are you talking about?"

Polly laughed before shaking her head, her hair hitting Hannah in the face a little. "A man that caused nothing but trouble for my family. I put a bullet straight through him in the middle of a crowded area and do you want to know something? It was the best thing that I have ever done, and I would do it all over again if it meant that my family were safe and protected from the misery that he brought with him," Polly answered before re-starting her sentence once she had felt Hannah's body harden up against her. "Don't worry, love. He deserved it."

Hannah decided not to say anything else and listen to Arthur's advice about not listening to anything that Polly was saying. There was a time to be curious and ask questions and this wasn't the right time. Taking advantage of Polly's defenceless state was wrong and, in all honesty, Hannah did not want to know about the man who had fallen victim to Polly's gun.

Hannah somehow managed to get Polly up the stairs and laid out on the bed. The older woman rolled around a few times before reaching out for Hannah's hand. Thinking that Polly was going to be sick due to the amount of alcohol that she had consumed, Hannah grabbed onto Polly's hand but when she felt Polly's grip become tighter, Hannah's body went cold with fear.

"I need you to promise me something, Hannah," Polly started, her eyes wide and bleak as she looked up at Hannah. "Something very, very, important and you can't go against the promise."

"Of course."

"Don't break his heart, please."

Hannah smiled softly before shaking her head. "That will never happen, I promise."

"Good." Polly bobbed her head up and down once before discharging Hannah's hand. "Michael is a delicate soul and he tries his hardest. You are leading him in the right direction and I appreciate that. Whatever happens, just know that you will always have a home with us, a family if you'd want it."

+++

Polly fell asleep almost straight away and just as Hannah was about to leave the house, the front door slammed open and Michael sauntered in with an expression that only made Hannah feel sick. The smell of the cigarettes and booze made Michael pull a face as he heatedly pulled out a chair and sat down with a thump; his hands going to the bottle of whiskey that Polly had left over. There wasn't much left, but it would satisfy his needs.

"Michael."

An alarmed Michael snapped his head to the side to look at you, a pale smile coming onto his face as she watched you walk over. The day had been demanding, the devil had been enticing him and Esme had been murmuring on in his ear about how she wanted to be a bridesmaid – pretty much saying that she wanted Hannah and Michael to marry but that wouldn't be happening anytime soon considering the fact that Michael was going to assassinate Father Hughes in cold blood.

"Why are you here?" Michael asked, his voice was scrawny and worn-out as he turned his eyes to look at the covering on the table. "That came out harsher than I expected, sorry."

Hannah walked behind Michael and ran her hands along his shoulders before moving them down to his chest. With her chin rested on his shoulder, she pressed light kisses along his cheek and Michael leaned into them – desperate for the cosiness that he had been thinking about all day long.

"Don't worry about it," she mumbled in his ear. "I was round at Arthur's checking up on Linda and he asked me to come in and check on your mum because he had a peculiar phone call with her or something."

"And how she is?"

"Let's just say, she's going to have a very big headache in the morning and the smell of breakfast will probably send her running to the bathroom." Hannah chuckled before moving her body around, so she could sit on Michael's lap – her favourite place to be. "What's wrong with you?"

The same, boring excuse came through Michael's mouth – a sentence that Hannah had heard far too many times. "Just the business. There's been a lot on and I'm just exhausted. To make things worse, I am meant to be going down to London for a couple of days next week to sign the contract."

Hannah puckered her lips, she always hated being away from Michael, but she understood his reasons for going. "Where will you be staying?"

"With Ada," he answered.

Much to her dismay, Hannah had only met Ada a handful of times and every time, there had been some disaster. "I like Ada."

"Thought you would do," he responded. "Why don't you come down with us? Ada keeps going on about a coffee shop that she goes to almost every morning after dropping Karl off at school and I know that you like stuff like that. Gives you a chance to get to know Ada better as well without someone dying."

"What day do you go on?" Hannah asked, not getting herself too excited because she knew that her schedule was jampacked and finding the time to be with Michael for more than a couple of hours was hard enough.

"We leave Tuesday morning and then we come back Thursday afternoon. We literally could have just gone down for the day, but Polly is adamant that we spend some time with Ada seen as she isn't in Birmingham much anymore. Is Tuesday a problem for you?"

Hannah sighed before resting her hand on Michael's shoulder again. "I have to go and view properties with Father Hughes in the afternoon, so I can't. Trust me, if I could get out of it then I would but I simply can't go against what the sisters have said because it would only lead me to trouble."

Michael's eyes shifted to the side as he nodded his head, his jaw clenched with signalled that he was angry (whether it towards her, Hannah did not know.) "That's fine."

"But..." Hannah trailed off and grinned. "I was thinking that maybe me and you should spend some time together, alone and away from Birmingham. There's a cottage that me and my parents used to go to down near London. It's expensive but I'm sure we could sort something out."

"Is that what you want?" Michael asked.

Hannah rolled her eyes before pulling away. "Why would you ask such a stupid question?"

Michael shrugged before pinching the bridge of his nose, sighing delicately. "Are you stopping the night?"

"No, I'm afraid." It was Michael's turn to pout as his eyes pleaded with Hannah. He was desperate for her company, her warm embrace, the whole lot. "I'll come and see you before Friday though, I promise. I'm going to try and get a few days off if you can do the same."

"I'll see what we can sort it out, love. Do you want me to drive you home?"

Michael picked Hannah up effortlessly and placed her feet on the ground before reaching over for the car keys. Hannah couldn't deny a lift back to the convent. Spending another fifteen minutes with Michael was also another thing that she couldn't resist.

"That would be lovely, thank you," Hannah replied as she walked over to grab her bag. Being the gentleman that he was – and somewhat feeling guilt-ridden because of his absence – Michael jogged over and took the bag from Hannah's hands. "Heavy, isn't it?" she asked, giggling as Michael pulled a face.

"Don't know how you manage to do it all day long. Must be super strong."

"You don't know the half of it. Come on then, let's go home. I need to talk to Sister Margaret about having some days off."

"Are you going to tell her that me and you will be leaving for a few days or will you lie?" Michael asked as he struggled to open the front door for Hannah.

"Tell her the truth because my love, I have nothing to be ashamed off."

+++

Alexandra was wide-awake when Hannah returned home. Sister Margaret was out dealing with a new-born mum who was having some struggles meaning that Hannah couldn't have the conversation that she had been hoping to have. Sister Maria was knocking around the nunnery, whistling away to some melody as she cleaned the floors of the kitchen, but Hannah did not dare ask Sister Maria and anyway, she wasn't the leading authoritative figure.

"I can't tell if you are happy or sad right now," Alexandra said after a couple of minutes of silence had passed. Hannah looked up from the mirror, where she was wiping away the minimal make up and typing her hair up in a bun as she was only going to be lounging about for the rest of the night. Alexandra was laid out on the bed, dressed in an expensive silk robe as she read the up-to-date style magazine.

Hannah turned around to look at Alexandra. "There is actually something that I want to ask you. Can you remember when you and the girls pestered me on the night that I was supposed to going on my first date with Michael and you told me all of the bad things that he – his family had done." Hannah raised one eyebrow and watched as Alexandra narrowed her eyes, trying to remember the memory that Hannah was talking about. It had been many months since then and Alexandra could barely remember what she had eaten the previous day. "Do you?"

"Yes, very briefly. I can definitely remember you moping around for the rest of the night," she joked before turning serious. "Why do you ask, Hannah?"

"I can't remember who it was but one of you mentioned something about an Inspector that was shot dead at the race tracks and there were rumours flying about that it was one of the Shelby brothers?"

"Yes..."

"Was the Inspector Irish?"

"Yes, he was. I always remember that because when he first arrived in Small Heath back in 1919, he ransacked the houses of some of our patients. The coppers were brutal that day; ragging out furniture, shouting at women, breaking everything in the house. The sound of his voice bellowing through the streets stuck with me." Alexandra paused as she thought about the dreadful day. "One mother even went into labour early because of the stress but don't worry, baby was fine."

"That's awful."

Alexandra's knowledge about Inspector Campbell had confirmed all of Hannah's thoughts – Polly was the one who had murdered him. For what reason, she did not know and a part of her did not want to know why, fearing that she may be able to defend his death. From what she had heard, he was an immoral man who used his power to his own advantage and maybe there was a part of Hannah that was happy that he had been killed. However, she wasn't happy with the state that Polly was in and how he was emotionally torturing her, even from the dead.

"Is that all?" Alexandra raised one eyebrow as she picked the magazine up – looking at the expensive dresses that she would never be able to afford.

"That's all."


	22. london.

"I hear that you are spending the day with Father Hughes again today," Betty said as she placed the schedule down in front of Hannah who was sipping on a cup of tea. Sleep had become a detached memory for every one of the midwives, seemingly the expecting mothers of Small Heath saw May as the perfect time to have children. "Good luck to you."

Hannah sighed delicately before placing the cup down. "There's something outlandish about him, do you not think?

Betty nodded energetically. "I've always thought that he was strange. The nuns don't see anything off beam with him though, so he can't be that bad surely."

Hannah shrugged and bit her lip. "Michael's mood always changes whenever I mention Father Hughes around him. I'm starting to wonder if maybe Father Hughes has business with the Shelby's."

Betty's laughter ran throughout the room, her body leaning forward as she continued to laugh uproariously, undoubtedly entertained with Hannah's statement. "I know that Father Hughes is a bit untrustworthy but come on, a member of the church doing business with The Peaky Blinders, it's a senseless thought." Betty walked over to Hannah and placed her hand on top of Hannah's shoulder. "I think you are looking into this way too much."

"I might be right," Hannah responded, looking up at Betty. "There's something about him and I just don't know what. Do you think I should ask Michael?"

Betty shrugged before leaning over Hannah to grab the cup of tea that Hannah had abandoned due to her uncontrolled thoughts that overwhelmed her concentration. "Michael will just think that you are being silly. For all you know, he is possibly just envious because you are spending time with another gentleman."

It was Hannah's turn to laugh. "Father Hughes is a middle-aged creep with no sense of humour, tremendously invasive and he has appalling shoes – there's nothing to be envious about."

With a roll of her eyes; Betty grasped the medical bag and moved towards the door, turning around at the last minute to say something to Hannah who was staring expressionlessly at the wall.

"If there is something peculiar about Father Hughes then it will come out in due course. Don't lose sleep about something that might not be correct and stop letting your mind generate false stories that put you on the edge because it's not healthy, but you already know that, don't you?"

Hannah nodded, agreeing completely with Betty's truthful reply. Since meeting Michael, Hannah had not been able to think straight. It was either because she was deeply in love with Michael and worshipped the ground that he walked on or the fact that the business constantly meant that all members of the family had to be on high alert in case something dreadful happened. There was always going to be the peril, the danger and the gangster routine – even if the Shelby's did try their very hardest to go legal – but Hannah's love for Michael was sturdier than any of the worthless, undesirable thoughts that swamped her brain before she was about to snooze or when it noiseless in the religious foundation.

"I love him, and I worry about him."

Betty smiled sympathetically before nodding her head. "I know."

"But sometimes I wonder if – "

"Hannah." Sister Maria's roaring voice cut Hannah off before she could finish her sentence and Betty was immediately out of the room, her face full of horror as she snuck out of the back door – dodging Sister Maria. "Have you seen Betty?"

"No." Hannah shook her head and stuck her bottom lip out a little. "Why, what has she done?"

Sister Maria moved over the hot pan of water and started to pour herself a cup of tea. "Fail to recall sorting out the medical apparatus which I had asked her to do last night. That woman is so forgetful that it is exasperating."

Hannah chuckled before standing herself up and dusting herself down. "I best be going. Father Hughes will be here soon, and we have to travel into the countryside today."

"How is the fundraising going?"

"Well, we have only had one meeting because Father Hughes is a man that is high in demand. We've managed to secure the community centre for whenever we are ready to hold an event but today, we are going to see an abandoned house," Hannah informed Sister Maria. "Father Hughes is speaking about setting up an orphanage with nurses and maids, professionals and trainees. It will provide jobs and give children a loving home." Hannah was doing her best to speak positively about Father Hughes. If she was to breath one bad word, then it would set Sister Maria off.

"That's lovely of him, isn't it?"

"Indeed." Hannah nodded. "I was thinking though; wouldn't it be best to just accept the money that Michael offered us a few months ago? I know that it goes against everything that you believe but it would save us so much money. For example, we would have to buy all of the props and whatever else for the event that was organise which means that we are losing out on money."

Sister Maria tightened her lips. It was her day off, she didn't want to be irritated but Hannah was already testing her patience, even if she didn't mean to do so.

"I will not accept money from Michael. It's money that has been made through illegitimate ways and people have died because – "

"The money is thoroughly legal, I promise."

Sister Maria raised one eyebrow in the air as she looked at Hannah in a punishing way, her eyes squinting. "You might be fooled but I am not. Therefore, the convent will not be accepting the money. This discussion is officially concluded, alright?"

Hannah almost felt like stamping her foot like a disobedient school girl as she listened to Sister Maria's words. A portion of Hannah could understand Sister Maria's reasons for not wanting to accept the money from Michael, but it was exceedingly exasperating, particularly when it meant that all the convents money predicaments would be wiped out with the money that Michael was willing to give them.

"I need to go and wait outside for Father Hughes," Hannah said as she grabbed her bag, not having the endurance to deal with Sister Maria.

+++

Father Hughes was just as bothersome. For the entire car journey to the country home, interrogations about Michael took place. It only peaked Hannah's inquisitiveness but things turned west when Father Hughes mentioned Tommy Shelby.

"How do you know Tommy?" Hannah asked, narrowing her eyes in Father Hughes course. He pulled up the car outside of the long-standing, worn-out house that was in desperate need of some renovation before turning to look at Hannah with his hands placed on his lap.

"I don't know him personally," he fibbed. "I just know of Thomas but who doesn't?"

Hannah hummed, agreeing with Father Hughes comment. Tommy Shelby was a recognised man in the Midlands and down South. Most people wanted to be with the Shelby leader because it would be something that they could tell their friends; a night with a gangster. Other's wanted his blood.

"How did you meet Michael?"

"I just did," Hannah told him. "One night, I bumped into him and that was it. There's nothing else to it if I am being honest with you." Hannah looked back at the house, her skin hot under Father Hughes unapproachable gaze. The man could not stop looking at Hannah, half-intrigued and half-confused as to why she would be seen with Michael in public. "Are we going to go inside or not?" she asked, grabbing her bag from the footwell and the cigarettes that had fell out of her pocket.

"Indeed." Father Hughes leaned over and patted Hannah on the knee, leaving it there for longer than needed. Hannah stiffened as he touched her but courteously smiled and pushed his hand away. "Let's go then."

The house was a lot more beautiful on the inside with twelve bedrooms and enough room for children to come and live there until appropriate arrangements had been found for them. There was still a lot to do and Hannah was grateful to be part of the experience, it meant that she was doing some good in the world. She just wished that she was doing it with someone else and not Father Hughes.

"This could be the office area," Father Hughes said as the two of them walked into an unfilled part of building, big enough to hold numerous desks.

"It's nice."

Hannah's thoughts were in another place. Michael was on his way down to London to sign the agreement that would lawfully tie him to the business. Polly was on her mind regularly and Hannah found herself thinking about the drunken words that Polly had spoken throughout her defenceless moment. Hannah and Polly had bumped into each other since then and the two of them had shared a drink as they discussed things that weren't to do with the business or Michael. She was entirely unware of what she had said, and Hannah wasn't going to bring the conversation back up and make Polly feel bad again.

"You are away with the fairies."

Hannah looked at Father Hughes before smiling. "No, I'm not."

Tilting his head to the side and raising both eyebrows, Father Hughes exhaled loudly. "Do you want to talk about it?"

It was a trap – use Hannah's unhappiness to coax information out of her that would benefit him in the long run. Being a delighted man, Father Hughes wasn't going to let Tommy Shelby win the malicious battle that they were playing. Poor Charlie was always going to end up being a victim in the whole scenario and Father Hughes wasn't fazed by that – he would do whatever was needed to make sure that Tommy never crossed the line again.

Hannah looked down at the ground and bit her lip. It was wrong of her to discuss her own personal relationships and problems with a man that she barely knew but she was unhappy beyond words and wanted some sort of guidance about what to do. The women at the convent did their best to help Hannah when her mood was low and dreary, but it was the same monotonous advice and with Father Hughes being a man of the cloth, she expected that he would be able to give her something reasonable that would get her through the tough times away from Michael.

"It's nothing really," she started before hesitating, trying to think of a way that she could speak about her problems without admitting too much. "Michael is going to London and I'm just going to miss him."

"Where's he staying?" Father Hughes asked far too quick, but Hannah didn't pick up on it.

"With his cousin, Ada," she answered before walking out of the room, Father Hughes quickly following. "He will be gone for a couple of days."

"That's not that bad."

"Is it when you worry," Hannah responded, turning around to look at the priest. "And I worry."

"Why do you worry?"

Hannah shook her head and waved one hand in the air, ending the discussion straight away. She was frightened, thinking that she had said too much already, and she did not want Father Hughes to be all up in her business and know little details because they had to work together now. The extended phase that Michael and Hannah were going through would be over soon, she knew it, and things that had been kept a secret would be known to the world – or maybe just Hannah. Either way, she was prepared to wait for Michael to come clean, no matter how long it took.

+++

"How's that midwife?" Ada questioned Michael as she poured him a beverage, descending it across the counter in the middle of the living room.

"Hannah," Michael adjusted, making speedy eye contact with Polly, before leaning over to grab his drink. "Her name is Hannah and she is doing well, thanks for asking."

Ada looked at Polly with widespread eyes but all she received from Polly was a shrug of her shoulders. "Someone is in a bad mood tonight. Keep on acting like this and you'll be a younger version of fucking Tommy."

Michael rolled his eyes. "I guess I am in a bad mood. What do you expect when I've been dragged down here?"

"Charming."

The three of them sat in silence for a few more moments before the phone started to ring loudly. Ada murmured a few curse words before she got up and walked into the hallway where the phone was positioned. Once Ada was out of the way, Polly turned to Michael and squinted her eyes in his direction. Feeling his mother's unforgiving glare, Michael turned his head to look at Polly and waited for the lecture.

"What's been wrong with you lately?" she asked, voice low and soft which frightened Michael.

"Don't know what you mean."

"You are infuriating me lately and I'm sure you are winding Hannah — "

"Leave her out of this," Michael interrupted, his voice a lot ghastlier than Polly's. He didn't mean to snap, in fact it was the last thing that he wanted to do but everything was building up and threatening to spill. "Me and Hannah are going away next week, I'll be fine after that. Just need some time away from all of this shit."

Before Polly could reply, Ada had walked back into the living room and was pointing at Michael. "There's someone on the phone for you."

"Who?" he asked, hoping it would be Hannah so he could hear her voice once more. The thought of her being with Father Hughes had been killing him all day and was somewhat the reason for his appalling temper.

"Father something, I don't know." Ada flapped her hands in the air before plopping herself down in the comfortable looking chair. "Go on."

Michael pretty much stormed over to the telephone and placed it to his ear quicker than he had ever done anything. He could hear Polly in the living room, questioning Ada on why a Father would be ringing Michael and already, he knew that he was in for a night of interrogations.

"What do you want?" Michael's asked, his voice short-tempered. The shady, threatening chuckle that rang through the phone made Michael feel sick to his stomach; a familiar sound from Michael's adolescent years. "I said, what do you want?" he repeated once again with the same attitude.

A long silence had Michael on edge before Father Hughes finally spoke – his Irish accent stomach-turning. "I just wanted to let you know that Hannah looked beautiful today."

"Is this sick joke?" Michael asked.

"Not at all. She is quite a sweetheart that girl of yours, it would be a shame if someone wounded her."

Michael's grip on the telephone became harsher, his heart started to pound more rapidly, and he could feel himself starting to become red from the anger. "If you have hurt her then I swear to that fucking God of yours, I will put a bullet straight in your head."

Father Hughes chuckled again. "I wouldn't hurt her but I'm sure someone else would if I told them too. I know where she lives, I can get access to her rotas. Hey, I can even get into the convent, you can't. How does it feel Michael?"

"What do you mean?"

"How does it feel to know that I am in Birmingham with that girl of yours and you are stuck in London for the next couple of days, entirely powerless and incapable of helping the girl that you love."

Instantaneously, Michael was smashing the phone down and telephoning the number to the religious foundation. His hands were unsteady as he waited impatiently for someone to pick up the phone. It felt like years before the sound of Hannah's voice blessed Michael's ears. A sigh of relief left Michael as he rested his head on the wall in front of him, smiling to himself as he looked at the ground. Hannah's voice was still coming through as Michael placed the speaker back to his ear.

"It's me, love, it's me."

"Are you alright, Michael?" Hannah asked with a giggle, blissfully unware of Father Hughes intimidations. "You sound out of breath."

"Don't worry about it, darling. I'll be alright. Are you okay?"

"I'm fine." Hannah's voice was suspicious, and Michael could picture Hannah's face: her eyebrows furrowed, eyes puzzled and feet tapping against the wooden floor. "Why are you ringing me? I'm not complaining about it because it's always nice to talk to you, just confused."

Michael closed his eyes as he tried to hold back the tears. For a moment, Michael thought that he had lost Hannah for good and the thought nearly killed him. He could feel his heart giving up as he waited for someone to answer the phone and it was something that he didn't want to go through again; the pain excruciating.

"I want to marry you, Hannah." Michael was to some extent surprised at his own words, but he did not regret them, not at all.

In Birmingham, Hannah was biting her lip as she grinned widely, looking down at the ground and trying not to get giddy. "Michael..."

"I mean it. I'm petrified of loosing you to some other bastard and I can't bear the thought of it. I'm not saying that we have to marry yet because I want to give you the perfect wedding when the time is right, and we've discussed this before but just tell me that you willing to be my wife one day."

"Where has this come from —?"

"Hannah," he interrupted, frantic for an answer. "Will you marry me one day?"

"You already know the answer to that question so why are you even asking me?"

Michael chuckled before wiping away a few tears with the sleeve of his expensive coat. "I fucking love you, don't ever forget that."

"I love you, forever and always." Hannah chuckled before sniffing. "Are we engaged?"

Michael mirrored Hannah's chuckle. "Looks like we are."

"Could have been more romantic."

"Always complaining you are," Michael joked. "I have to go but we can discuss all of this tomorrow."

"Me too. I was planning for our holiday next week and you interrupted me."

"Get back to it. I love you."


	23. insatiable. (smut)

The cottage that Michael had picked out for their countryside holiday, away from the smoke-filled and monotonous Birmingham, was something that Hannah typically saw in the magazines that Alexandra read. It was stunning; affluent rugs, furniture that looked like they had been brought straight out of the palaces living rooms, views for miles that showed the real beauty of nature. It all seemed like a daydream to Hannah. She had spent months and months working long-shifts at the religious foundation, infinite nights of not sleeping properly and the judging stares from the mothers so to be away from it all was a blessing in her eyes. Michael felt the same, he needed some freedom for a short while and the stress of the business was dragging him down slowly. He did not want to be a broken man for Hannah.

"Jesus, this is beautiful," Hannah said, placing the luggage down in the hallway. Michael hummed in agreement before wrapping his arms around Hannah's waist and pressing light kisses against her neck. Giggling, Hannah tried to move away but eventually gave up and twisted her head to the side to capture Michael's lips. "What's got into you, Michael Gray?"

"Nothing, it's just lovely to be away from Birmingham. Some time to ourselves, nice trails to walk along, plenty of rooms to fuck in."

"Michael," Hannah hissed, turning around and playfully hitting him on the arm. "That is not appropriate."

"You aren't near the convent anymore, darling." Michael pressed his lips against Hannah's again, this time short-lived and it felt as his lips were only just there. "For now, I think we should go and explore the countryside. It's not very often that we get breath in fresh air and see green grass."

Hannah nodded her head before grabbing her suitcase and walking towards the grand staircase. Halfway up the steps, she turned around to Michael and smiled boldly.

"I think we have enough time to test out the bed in our room."

"Or maybe even the sofa?" Michael raised one eyebrow before looking towards the open living room. "I'm not particularly fussed."

"Nor am I."

+++

Green trees surrounded the young couple as they strolled hand in hand through the wooden area. It was soon becoming summer and the warm sun was shining on them both whenever they managed to get away from the shadow of the trees. Michael was informally speaking about his life before he was reintroduced to his biological mother. It was something that the two of them had discussed before but not with such length and detail. It seemed like a painful conversation for Michael – his whole life had theoretically been a lie and because of it, he had lost his sister and many years with his mother.

"Do you not miss that life? The countryside, the peace..." Hannah continued to list off the things that seemed like paradise to her, but Michael pulled a face; he didn't miss anything about it, at least not anymore.

"There are times when I do require the peace, but my life back there was a not real. It was false and a story that would protect me from the real world. I was told that I was someone else, I had no knowledge of my real mother who had lived so many years in the dark and worst of all, I wouldn't have met you."

Hannah smiled tenderly and leaned into Michael's physique. "I suppose you are right."

"Do you miss home?"

Hannah had hardly thought about her life before moving to Small Heath. It all seemed like a distant memory, a series of events that had happened and gone without anything else. No longer did she care for the long streets filled with houses for the rich, the smell of food cooking down at the market on a Saturday afternoon or the bustling noise that came with London. She didn't even miss her parents. They had made no effort with her and Hannah was not going to make the leap and contact them – the same went with her friends. Hannah had tried calling them a couple of times when she had first moved to Small Heath and during the small period that she was feeling homesick, but they never answered her calls and they never returned them, signalling to Hannah that she was no longer wanted down at London.

"There is no purpose me for in London. I belong here, with you. Small Heath is my home and it will be for a long time to come."

"It won't be forever," he said with the suggestion of a soft smile. "I have dreams for us and big plans. That is, of course, if you are willing to join me in my plans."

Hannah crumpled both eyebrows - Michael had never declared any plans before. Hannah had always presumed that Michael would want to stay the same. His life was exhilarating enough, and he seemed content. "And what do these plans involve? I hope you aren't planning to become the leader of The Peaky Blinders."

Michael chuckled before shaking his head. In all fairness, he had no plans to take Tommy's place in the gang when the time came, if it ever came, but if the opportunity came up then Michael would take it. Being one of the most powerful men in Birmingham because of his connections was decent but Michael required deeper down. Being Polly Gray's son and a member of the gang only got Michael a certain amount of respect and Michael wanted more. Power was what ran the Shelby business, along with love and loyalty - three of the most important things in his life behind Hannah and his family.

"No, not the business. It would be a bonus, I am not going to stand her and lie to your face, but I was thinking more along the lines of France or maybe even America. Small Heath is all well and good, but it isn't ideal for our future, at least that's what I believe."

"Would I still be able to be a midwife?" Hannah thought about it; somewhere on the beach seemed picture-perfect.

"You can be whatever you want to be, I'm not going to stand in your way."

Hannah beamed at the thought. A house near the beach, or in the countryside if the beach was not an option, surrounded by wonderful cities with culture everywhere. She would wake up in Michael's arms every single day, no convent or Lord judging them because of the relationship they had wanted to follow. It all seemed like bliss, but it also seemed like something that was out of reach. Michael would never admit it, but the business and family would also come first - it was his way of living, a chance to show people what he was made off and Hannah did not know if Michael would be willing to give all of that up for her. It was a fairy tale, a thing that talented novelists wrote about, something that didn't happen to people like Hannah and Michael.

"Are you alright?" Michael asked, wrapping his arm tighter around Hannah's waist and pressing a soft kiss against her hair.

Hannah nodded and leaned against Michael's body, dodging the tree trunk that was there to trip her up. Michael chuckled at Hannah's little jump before spinning her around in his arms and pushing her against a large tree trunk. Hannah clung onto Michael's shoulders as she looked at him, confusion but yearning in her eyes.

"What are you doing?" Hannah asked with a giggle, watching Michael's hands as they trailed down her waist, squeezing ever so lightly.

The sun was starting to set, slips of the light slithering through the trees and hitting Hannah's body, warming her and Michael up. The two of them needed to get out of there before the sky turned dark and back to the cottage but Michael's hands were stilling her in place and Hannah was not complaining about it.

"Showing you how much I love you," he replied, his hands moving to hike Hannah's dress up.

"You did that an hour ago."

"I want to do it again."

A burst of confidence ran through Hannah as she pushed down on Michael's shoulders, finger nails digging into the exclusive suit as she gently lowered him to the ground, so he was on his knees before her. "Go on then."

Michael chuckled and rested his forehead against Hannah's bare thigh. "Out here?"

"Out here," Hannah established, speedily looking around to make sure that the two of them where safe from any other couples or families who had decided to take a nice little trip through the woodlands. "Go on," she encouraged, taking her dress from Michael's hands and holding it up so her underwear was fully uncovered to Michael. There was submission running through Michael's bloodstream and he wasn't going to say that he detested it because he didn't. Michael would never get on his knees for anyone but Hannah.

There was silence for a few moments as Michael swiped his hands across the inside of Hannah's thighs, slowly opening her up for him. Pressing his lips against Hannah's thighs, Michael trailed kisses along the smooth skin, slowly getting further up to the place that she needed him. A finger reached to move Hannah's underwear to the side, completely exposing herself to Michael. It was like heaven had invaded Hannah's body as Michael pressed his mouth against her clit, sucking and pulling without compassion. Clutching her dress tighter and pulling it up more, Hannah managed to place one of her legs over Michael's shoulder, giving him a better angle to pleasure Hannah with. Michael was not being slow, and Hannah did not mind. It was hot and full of lust as Michael slid his tongue up and done Hannah's slit, moaning as he tasted her juices and gripping her thighs harder, his fingernails leaving shapes in her skin which would be there as a reminder of their longing for each other. Michael had already littered Hannah's chests with love bites, the only place he could really leave them because the nuns could possibly see them if they were on Hannah's neck.

It was warm and wet, ecstasy and everything that she wanted. Michael was relentless as he flicked his tongue against Hannah's clit a couple of times but was a tease when he pulled away and pressed light kisses along the inside of her thigh. Hannah whined and tried to shift her body, so Michael's mouth was back on her core but failed miserably when Michael's rough hands gripped the back of Hannah's thighs and put her back in place. The bark was coarse against her thighs, but she didn't have enough time to think about it, Michael was immediately back where he belonged, unable to resist Hannah's soft moans that were floating through the air.

Hannah could feel her knees bucking as she leaned her head back against the tree and pushed her hips out, pretty much riding Michael's face as she tried to get herself closer to an orgasm. Michael's chuckle against his clit sent shivers up her spine and the need to grab his hair was increasing but the dress was getting in her way and all she could do was hold on and let Michael have the control.

Pulling away for a moment, Michael moved his fingers to Hannah's wetness and rubbed up and down, watching as her eyes closed and her mouth fell open. The sound of her wetness made Hannah blush as she looked down at Michael. His eyes were full of appetite as he delved his tongue back in, not being able to resist Hannah's pleading eyes.

A dance was formed as Michael swapped techniques, a series of different movements that had Hannah moaning and whining louder than she had ever done before. Usually, she was inaudible in case anybody heard but they were both in the middle of the countryside with nobody to judge them.

"Michael," Hannah breathed out, the grip of her dress getting tighter. "Please."

With his fingers, Michael parted Hannah's lips and delved in like it was his last meal. A salacious moan came from Michael as he savoured Hannah's sweet taste, his own sexual desire flourishing as he felt Hannah's thighs quiver against his touch. Nothing would ever compare to Hannah coming undone before him, because of him.

Hannah came around Michael's tongue, moaning and whimpering, clutching at the dress and pushing her hips further down onto Michael's face. With sudden movements, Michael was gripping Hannah's legs that was resting against his shoulder and pushed it further away, fully opening her up as Michael helped Hannah through the orgasm.

Multiple curse words erupted from Hannah as she calmed down from her powerful orgasm, smiling unenergetically as she watched Michael stand up and place his hands on her cheeks, pressing a soft kiss to each one beforehand.

"Beautiful," he whispered before capturing Hannah 's lips. The kiss was slow and long, tongues mixed together and touches everywhere. Hannah moved one arm to wrap around Michael's neck, pulling on his hair and dragging him closer to her body. Hannah's free hand trailed down Michael's chest until it reached his bulge where she grabbed him through his slacks. "Calm down, love."

Hannah raised one eyebrow. "Says the man who just got down on his knees in the middle of the woods."

Michael chuckled, agreeing with Hannah's comment as she was correct. "What can I say? You are truly irresistible and when I need you, I need you and when you need me, you need me."

"And I need you..." Hannah paused and rubbed her palm over Michael's crotch, watching as his face turned to bliss. "Now."

Suddenly aware of the growing darkness, Michael removed Hannah's hand and kissed it before shaking his head. "You will have to wait until later, sorry."

Hannah pouted and attempted to reach Michael again, but his quick movements stopped her. "Why later?"

"I'm cooking your dinner."

"You can't cook, Michael," she shouted after him as he began to walk away. Michael turned to look at Hannah with raised eyebrows, waiting for her to hurry up so that they could get back to the cottage. "And your knees have muck on them."

Michael shook his head while laughing before continuing with his footsteps. The sound of Hannah's own feet walking towards him made Michael smile as he waited for her body to be next to his but was surprised when Hannah jumped onto his back, wrapping her arms around his neck and her legs around his waist.

"Carry me home," she whispered in Michael's ear as he gripped her ankles to keep her safe. "And then carry me to the bedroom and lay me down on the bed, strip me of my dress - "

"You are insatiable, darling," Michael responded with a cheeky grin.

"I am when it comes to you," she responded with a quick kiss against his cheek. "Just want to strip – "

"Come on, let's get you home," Michael interrupted with a smirk.

+++

Much to Hannah's disappointment, Michael did not take her upstairs and have his way with her. Instead, he placed her down on the sofa and sorted the fire out for her, telling her to relax while he cooked dinner. Hannah could not relax. Every now and again, she would hear a pot falling to the floor or overhear Michael cursing to himself as he read over a recipe that Polly had given him. His typical method was to try his best with the meal and then bring someone in who could cook which was typically either Arthur, Esme or his mum. Sadly, none of them were there at that present time and Michael was starting to regret the whole situation.

"It's hard for me to relax when you keep throwing pans all around the kitchen," Hannah shouted with evidence of teasing in her statement. Michael faked the sound of laughter as he tried to dish up to the food that he had cooked for Hannah without dropping any on the floor. "Are you sure that you don't want any help?" It was the third time that Hannah had asked, and Michael had replied with a stern and frustrated no every single time.

"I'm nearly done, just give me five minutes."

Hannah smiled with amusement as she went back to the book that Alexandra had given her before she had left. It was monotonous, but Hannah didn't mind in the slightest, her key source of entertainment was coming from Michael in the kitchen. She could picture the scene in her head and picture his tense jaw as he looked at the carrots with nothing but fury.

"Are you ready?" Hannah dared to ask after a few minutes, preparing herself for Michael's loud, booming voice to silence her questions. Instead, she received a soft yes with a tired sigh.

Hannah placed the book down on the coffee table and made her way into the kitchen where she tried to contain her laughter. Michael was stood by the window aggressively smoking on a cigarette while looking at the pans and dishes that had accumulated in the sink. His sleeves were rolled up and his jacket had been discarded somewhere, his hair was ruffled and shirt tight against his muscles - a sight of beauty.

"It looks wonderful," Hannah lied in hopes that it would make Michael feel better about his botched attempt of cooking. Michael saw right through Hannah's lies and raised one eyebrow. "It does."

"I think I'm just going to let you cook tomorrow," he said before flicking the cigarette out of the window and walking over to the table, sitting across from Hannah. "Because this looks fucking abominable and don't even try and say it doesn't."

"It's the thought that counts," Hannah told him as she picked up a rock-hard carrot with her fork before placing it back down.

Michael glared at Hannah with a dead-pan expression as he observed Hannah take a bite out of the chicken that he had cooked, watching as her face turned to disgust. "Told you."

Hannah's attempt at keeping the laughter at a bay was an enormous fail and before she could do anything to stop it, the amusement was gliding through her mouth. Hannah waved her hand in the air and tried to say sorry, but she continued to laugh to the point where she had to turn around. Luckily, Michael was starting to laugh at his own miserable effort at cooking.

"Oh, I'm sorry," Hannah finally said, smearing away a few tears. "I know that you put a lot of determination into that."

"I genuinely don't blame you for laughing, love," he said, reaching over the table to grab his cigarettes. "Do you want one?" Hannah shook her head before grinning. "What?"

Hannah shrugged and observed Michael until he was distracted before sinking to her knees and crawling under the table. When she popped up at the other side, her face dangerously close to Michael's crotch she grinned widely.

"Hello," she purred, her hand immediately moving to grab Michael's cock through his slacks, squeezing as she looked up at him. "I think that I owe you something."

"Do you?"

Hannah bowed her head up and down in response before unfastening his trousers. Michael snickered before resting his hand on top of Hannah's head, his other preoccupied with the cigarette. It was an erotic sight; Michael smoking leisurely with his fingers running through Hannah's air, Hannah on her knees as she prepared herself, desperate to bring Michael to his peak.

"I do."

Michael smiled softly before shaking his head and stubbing his cigarette out. "Come here."

Hannah was confused as she followed Michael's orders and awkwardly climbed onto his lap, wrapping her arms around his neck. "Do you not want me to give you a blowjob or something?"

"All the time. I just need to ask you something first and I would rather do it now and not later."

"Go on." Hannah looked down at Michael and waited for him to continue. "We haven't got all day Michael, I want to get you into bed."

"Do you remember last week when I rang you up from London and I was a bit hysterical and we ended up agreeing to marriage, but it wasn't really done appropriately," Michael started, cunningly moving his hand down to his trouser pockets. "And there was a lot of crying done on the phone and I was being irrational, wait, not irrational but I wasn't thinking about it correctly."

"Michael," Hannah stopped him with a grin. "What are you getting at here?"

More silence. This is what Michael wanted more than anything, he had to keep reminding himself of that. After the phone call in London, Michael had not said anything about the fact that he was possibly due to marry Hannah but when they had returned home to Birmingham, Michael informed his mother about the news. Polly, of course, was over the moon with the idea of Hannah becoming a Shelby but she was cross that Michael had done it over the phone. The next day, the two of them had done a runner during work and had gone down town to collect an engagement ring, one that was expensive, but Michael couldn't care less; it was perfect and that's all that mattered.

He had planned to properly propose before the holiday away, but his nerves had got the better of him. Tommy had approved of the marriage, Michael would have gone ahead with it anyway, but he had warned Michael about the dangers of being married to someone like them. Tommy had unintentionally put doubts in Michael's mind and he had began to wonder about what would happen if Hannah did get caught up in the dangerous side of the business. The death of Grace was still somewhat fresh in everyone's minds and that was the night that people realised how cruel the business could be and still, Michael was willing to propose to Hannah.

Polly had discussed everything with him the night before Hannah and himself went anyway. Yes, there was risks but their love was stronger than anything and Michael couldn't put his life on hold because of something that probably wouldn't happen.

"Would you forgive me if I didn't get down on one knee?"

Hannah didn't even answer, she just let out a squeal of excitement before nodding her head. "Just say it, bloody say it."

Michael shushed Hannah, so he could continue with his mini-speech. "This wedding doesn't need to happen yet, it could be in a few years for all I care. I just need to know that you will be by my side forever because I need you more than I will ever let on. So, would you do me the honour of - "

"Yes, yes, yes, yes, yes," Hannah interrupted, enthusiasm getting the better of her.

"Hannah." Michael chuckled before grabbing Hannah's hand, getting ready to slide the ring onto his wedding finger.

"I'm sorry, I'm sorry, continue."

Michael took a deep breath before finishing his sentence. "Would you do me the honour of being my wife?"


	24. the end.

Mr. Maxwell had not been on Hannah's rounds since his burn wounds. After sweet talking Sister Margaret, she had managed to pass the unpleasant man onto one of the other poor nurses. Just being around him, Hannah got the chills because of his disturbing behaviour and she knew that he liked her, yet he refused to take no for an answer.

"Mr. Maxwell!" Hannah exclaimed over breakfast as Sister Maria handed her the rota. A pout came onto Hannah's face as she slumped back in her chair. Was this punishment for having a few days off to go on holiday with Michael? "What has he done now?"

It seemed as if Mr. Maxwell was repetitively getting himself injured and Hannah wandered if he was doing it in hopes of Hannah turning up on his doorsteps - sadly, it was now going to happen.

"Injury at work," she responded before taking a sip out of the teacup. "Asked for you, not any of the other nurses. Sorry about it."

Hannah rolled her eyes before melodramatically standing up and grabbing her coat. Betty looked at her with a sympathetic smile, she knew exactly what Mr. Maxwell was like and was thankful that she did not have him. Still, Hannah had a duty to serve everybody and help them with any medical needs and as much as she wanted to, she could not deny Mr. Maxwell.

She wanted to be back in the countryside desperately. Wrapped up in the bed sheets, Michael's arms wrapped around her as the morning sun rose, the sound of birds singing along and making harmony. It had been such a beautiful time away, but they couldn't stay there forever, Birmingham was calling them back.

Michael had been Michael for once as well. There stress and worry of the business had disappeared as soon as they had entered the cottage and his mood swings were no longer existing. It was just nice to be away from it all and not have to listen to people judging their relationship and what they got up to.

Hannah was now engaged to Michael. She had said yes without a second thought before capturing his lips and giving him the longest, biggest kiss that she had ever given him. The marriage had to be kept a secret until all the business drama was over and done with. Also, Hannah didn't know how to break the news to the nuns and other nurses. The other nurses at the convent would be pleased for Hannah but the nuns would most likely have a heart attack. They hadn't expected the relationship to last so long and they were starting to understand that it was becoming serious, they just didn't know how serious.

"I'm going to go then," Hannah said with a sigh as she put her nurses hat on the top of her head.

After the goodbyes were said and Hannah had clutched her medical bag, she made her way out of the convent and down the street towards Mr. Maxwell's household. It was going to be half an hour of torture, but it needed to be done. The only thing that was going to get her through the day was that Polly had invited her around to the house to discuss the wedding and other things that involved her and Michael.

+++

Michael was stood against the bar talking to Isaiah when he first heard it.

Thinking that his ears were playing tricks on him, Michael remained silent and continued to listen to Isaiah but then he heard it again and again and again. Isaiah had also picked up on the comments and was doing his best to keep Michael calm, telling him to ignore Daniel Maxwell who was making inappropriate comments about Hannah.

It was gone five in the afternoon and The Garrison was empty, only a few workmen loitering around after a long shift. Michael had quickly popped in to have a drink before the meeting that Tommy was holding to discuss the business with Father Hughes. Isaiah had also popped along which was good as Michael wanted to tell him about the engagement, but things were turning west quickly, and Michael didn't know if he could keep his anger in for much longer.

Daniel Maxwell was completely unaware of Michael's presence. Michael was facing away from Mr. Maxwell as he leaned against the bar, resting himself up with one elbow and looking in the opposite direction. His voice was getting louder as he continued to speak about all the things that he would do to Hannah - the positions, the places, the names that he would call her during the 'intimate' act. Michael felt sick to his stomach with jealously - even though there was nothing to be jealous about - as the words that Mr. Maxwell spoke continued to taint his brain, filling him with revolting thoughts.

"And here she is, the beautiful nurse who keeps coming to my rescue."

Michael shifted his eyes to Hannah who had just walked through the door. It was obvious that he had consumed too much alcohol, probably to soothe the pain of his injury but it still gave him no right to talk to Hannah in such away. Awkwardly, Hannah stood by the door as Mr. Maxwell continued to shout things to Hannah from across the room. The friends that he was sat with laughed along to Mr. Maxwell's comment, increasing the mortification that Hannah was feeling.

Hannah looked over at Michael and noticed the annoyance in his eyes. It would only be a matter of seconds before Michael finally broke and committed a crime so, Hannah rushed over to Michael and placed one hand on his shoulder, smiling kindly at Isaiah who had moved away so they young couple could talk in private.

"I'm trying to be good," Michael said, rubbing one hand across his face. "Trying not to kill him."

Hannah chuckled before wrapping his arms fully around Michael's neck, dragging him closer to her mouth. "Don't do anything thoughtless because he really isn't worth it. You are better than that and you know it."

Michael took a deep breath before nodding, somewhat allowing the feelings to die out for a bit while he focused on Hannah. The two of them hadn't spoken all day and he didn't know why she was there - not that he was complaining in the slightest. Hannah was chewing on her bottom lip from worries but stopped when Michael placed one hand on her thigh, stilling her actions.

"What's wrong?" Michael asked, a look of alarm on his face. His instant thought was that something had gone wrong with another baby or maybe even something at the convent but when Hannah told him the reason for her detached mood, Michael couldn't help but laugh.

"I have dinner with your mum tonight and honestly, I am petrified. What if she is going to have a go at me for saying yes to your proposal? What if she poisons the food? They are all realistic things that your mother might do because - " Hannah hesitated once Michael had begun to laugh. "This is not amusing, this is actually really serious."

"There's nothing to be apprehensive about. My mum likes you a lot," Michael responded through laughter. "All she wants to do is discuss some wedding things with you - "

"We aren't even getting married for like another year."

Michael nodded before reaching into his jacket to pull out his cigarettes. He lit the two of them one before smiling tenderly, grabbing Hannah's hand and rubbing over the skin. "She is just excited. I don't think she ever expected this day to come if I am being honest with you."

Hannah agreed with a quick hum, perhaps she was being ridiculous. Still, the thought of discussing wedding things with Polly was terrifying her to death. The two of them had been alone quite a few times but not since Polly had drunkenly confessed to killing Inspector Campbell, it only scared Hannah more. She knew that all the Shelby's/Gray's were treacherous, it was a known fact around Birmingham but hearing the stories and being around them were two entirely different things. They had only ever been nice to Hannah, so she could not judge them but occasionally, Hannah would think of what they did for a living and the fear would creep up on her.

"You are pretty much family now," Michael told her, grinning when Hannah's eyes expanded. "You don't need to be afraid of anything because literally nobody is going to hurt you, I promise."

Michael's words were a comfort to Hannah as she smoked on the cigarette, stubbing it out halfway through as she was already feeling scared enough and the nicotine was not helping to calm her down.

"Will you be coming around later?" Hannah asked Michael, thieving a bit of his drink and looking at him through her eyelashes.

"I should be. I'm hoping that Tommy doesn't drag this meeting out."

"Why isn't Polly invited to this meeting?" Hannah asked.

"It just doesn't involve her." Michael was calm on the outside but panicking on the inside. If Hannah was to go back and tell Polly that there was a meeting being held without her being there, then it would lead to a long line of inquiries and Michael had only just managed to get Polly off his back. "It's literally nothing important but you know what Tommy is like."

"That I do."

Hannah looked over Michael's shoulder towards Mr. Maxwell who was looking at the two of them with rage in his eyes. The injury that he had sustained was obviously not as bad as he had made out to the convent, or his place of work, that or he was stalking Hannah. Michael noticed Hannah's shift in eyes and turned his attention round to Mr. Maxwell, sighing when the older man continued to glare at the young couple.

"I think he loves you," Michael commented.

"Yeah? Well he can bugger off because I do not love him back."

Michael laughed at Hannah's comment before turning silent, mentally considering his choices. Mr. Maxwell had a reputation around Birmingham of becoming attached to women and not leaving them alone for long periods of times and the thought of him being around Hannah made him feel sick. Michael had heard from John that there were stories around the factories that Mr. Maxwell had intentionally injured himself, leading Michael to believe that it was all one big plan that he had been creating for a while.

Michael would give Mr. Maxwell a reason to see the nurses.

As soon as Hannah had left the pub, wishing Michael a goodbye with a kiss on the lips and ignoring the cheers coming from Isaiah, Michael waited a few moments before making his way out of the door. Isaiah followed soon after, sensing Michael's plan, and watched as his friend leaned against the wall and waited for Mr. Maxwell to make his way outside.

"He could be ages," Isaiah told him, watching his friend with confusion. "Do you really want to do this?"

"Yes."

"You're an idiot."

"Probably."

Isaiah sighed at Michael's foolishness. "What about your precious meeting with fucking Tommy? He's going to kill you if you are late and you know that Tommy doesn't like that. Can you remember when I was late to collect some money and I got a right telling off. Trust me, it isn't worth it."

"It will be worth it when I wipe that smug grin off his fucking face." Michael stood up straight and walked over to Isaiah, his hand held out as he spoke with anger. The cigarette was waving around in the air and Isaiah had to step back to make sure his new shirt didn't get ruined. "Do not tell Hannah about this."

"I think she'll figure it out when she has to go to his tomorrow morning to deal with all of his cuts and bruises. Do you seriously think that he is going to sit there and not tell her that it was you?"

"Not if I cut his fucking tongue out."

+++

Tommy felt as if the large office was slowly caving in as Polly stood in front of him, trying to process the information that she had been given. Her heart was broken, torn into two as she thought about her poor, blameless boy suffering by himself.

"Father Hughes is a fucking bastard and deserves everything that he gets. He took away Michael's childhood and he is the reason for all of the issues that Michael has been having lately."

"This explains a lot," she replied as she placed both hands on the desk, leaning over a little as she tried to calm herself down. So many feelings were running through her - annoyance, agony, wretchedness, responsibility. "I should have done more to get him out of that situation. I've let him down."

"No-one was to know - "

"I should have known," Polly yelled, crashing her hands down on the writing table. "He is my son and I should have known that something was disturbing him." She looked at Tommy with wide eyes and all Tommy could do was look down at the ground. "I knew that something was wrong, but I just thought that he was having pathetic tiny disagreements with Hannah. Jesus, does she fucking know about this? Please tell me she doesn't - "

"No, Michael didn't want anybody knowing about it."

"Isn't Hannah doing some sort of work at the convent with this Father Hughes? I'm sure I heard her mention it to me once or twice."

"Something along those lines. It's what made Michael want to deal with the situation swiftly as well. It makes him feel sick to his stomach knowing that Father Hughes is around especially because he's wormed his way into Hannah's life as well."

"And what do you mean by that?" Polly placed one hand on hand on her hip as she waited for Tommy's answer. "Hey, fucking tell me. What do you mean when you say that Michael wants to deal with it?" Another hard slap against the table had Tommy responding immediately.

"A bullet through the head."

One slap around Tommy's head had him tumbling to the chair and rubbing the side of his head as Polly stood over him, screaming and shouting about how she wasn't going to corrupt her son. Tommy couldn't even reply, not able to get a word in edge ways as Polly continued to kick off.

"If Michael even touches that fucking gun then I swear to God I will - "

Polly cut herself off before rubbing one hand across her face. A quick look at the clock had her realising that Hannah was due round at her house any minute and if there was one person that could get through to Michael, it was Hannah. Polly was literally placing all her trust in Hannah's hands. She couldn't have her son go through a prison sentence, or worse, an execution, just the thought alone made her skin crawl. Polly had only just got Michael back and she wasn't prepared to lose him over some thoughtless, ridiculous behaviour. As much as she wanted Father Hughes dead, Polly did not want Michael to be the person who pulled the trigger.

"Polly, just let me explain." Tommy tried to validate Michael's actions, but Polly raised one hand in the air, shushing Tommy straight away. "Michael is a good kid."

Polly scoffed before laughing mockingly. "Yeah? He won't be when he's fucking killed someone. I've seen what happened to you boys. You all killed one person and then you got a fucking taste for it. Just because you've managed to get away with it for so long, it doesn't mean that Michael will, and I am not risking it."

"It needs to be done."

"I am not denying that," Polly screamed, ignoring the flash of fear that washed over Tommy's face. "Why can't you do it, hey?"

"Michael wants to do it."

"I don't give two flying fucks. If my boy pulls that trigger then I will make you, and this whole fucking organisation, pay. Is that clear?" Tommy nodded his head. Despite what Polly said, Michael would always be the one pulling the trigger. The only thing that Tommy could do was nod along and agree with everything that Polly said. "Right, I am going to see Hannah and talk about some things. Can I trust you to be alone for ten minutes without sending my son corrupt?" 

Polly didn't even give Tommy a chance to answer before she was rushing out of the door and towards her house. Anybody who walked past Polly could sense that irritation radiating off her body and every single individual stepped aside to let Polly through - not once questioning her anger or even looking in her direction. They knew better than to mess with Polly, especially when she was in the mood that she was in.

+++

Hannah was sat peacefully on the doorstep of Polly's house, a stark contrast to Polly who was hostilely stomping up the street, her hand in the handbag she was carrying as she fished out of her house keys. Hannah stood up as Polly walked up the driveway, mumbling words to herself before finally looking at Hannah, an unreadable smile on her face.

"Are you alright?" Hannah asked, helping Polly take some bags into the house that she had brought back from the gambling den. From what Hannah could see, there was only a bit of paperwork in there along with some documents that were of no interest to Hannah.

"No."

The answer was short and honest, startling Hannah for a second. Polly continued to fuss around the house, hoping it would take her mind off the news that she had been given, but it was just constantly repeating in her head. The guilt was intolerable, she should have fought for the children more. Polly had only known about the abuse for around an hour, how had Michael gone his whole life?

Hannah was in the doorway as she watched Polly grab some glasses, along with a bottle of red wine that John had brought her. Banging the glasses down angrily on the table, Polly began to pour the drinks but her unstable hands meant to that the bottle glided from her hand and onto the floor, shattering into tiny pieces and scattering around the room.

"Polly, come here," Hannah said softly, rushing over to help the broken women. Polly had leaned down to clear up some of the glass and had ended up with a cut, blood streaming out and spilling onto the floor, surrounding the transparent pieces. "Polly, sit down," Hannah replied with a firmer tone when Polly didn't reply, her eyes fixed on the blood.

"It's all going to shit, every fucking thing is going wrong," Polly screamed, pushing Hannah away without thinking. Not one to give up, Hannah stood up straight and sorted out of her uniform before going back over to Polly and forcing her towards the sink. The cold water hit the wound and Polly hissed again and for the first time in a while, she allowed the tears to pour down.

Hannah did not know how to reply to Polly's outburst. So, she did what she did best and that was nurse people. "Did you ever wear that dress that you brought from London?" Hannah asked, hoping that small talk would take Polly's mind off whatever she was thinking. "The red one, do you remember?" Silence. A few moments later, Hannah tried again. "Me and Michael were thinking about having a summer wedding. Well, I was. Michael doesn't really have a choice in the situation but - "

"I need you to do me a big favour."

"And what's that?" Hannah asked cheerily. Her heart was pumping as she waited for Polly's question, calmly sorting out the bandage and making sure that the wound was completely cleaned. "Let me guess, you need me to make sure that Michael doesn't get too drunk the night before our wedding? John is not sorting out the stag do, I know that much."

"It's nothing to do with the wedding." Polly placed one hand over Hannah's, stilling her movements and forcing Hannah to look at Polly's tear-stained face. "Michael is going to kill somebody."

Hannah chuckled before sliding her hand from underneath Polly's. "No, he isn't. Michael wouldn't do something so irresponsible."

There was silence as Polly looked between Hannah and the tablecloth. Hannah, the poor soul, didn't know what to think. She was hoping that it was all some stupid joke that everyone was involved in but deep down, she knew that Polly was telling the truth. It was the reason for her breakdown and the tears down her face.

"Something's happened and Michael wants to be the one - " Polly cut herself off, the thought alone making her feel nauseous. The vision of her son, stuck in a prison cell as he awaited his sentence for the murder of Father Hughes was turning her stomach.

"Who?"

"I can't tell you," Polly replied. "But trust me, you will find out who if you don't stop this. Out of everyone, you are the only person who can talk Michael down and stop him from doing this. He won't listen to me, or Tommy, or Arthur or any fucking one. This murder is set in his mind and it's going to happen if you don't do something."

Beneath the tough exterior, Hannah was breaking. It was a massive blow to their relationship; the trust was endangered and everything that she had been afraid of was becoming true. Hannah could picture Sister Maria in her head, using the notorious 'I told you so' words that Hannah hoped she would never hear. The other part of her was more confused - what had triggered it?

"Who?" Hannah repeated. "Who is he going to kill? Do I know them?"

Polly took a deep breath as she nodded her head. "Yes, you do."

"And they've gone against the business?" Hannah was trying to piece together the information in her head but was failing miserably. Realisation dawned on her after Polly's silence. "Father Hughes."

Hannah had been suspicious of him for weeks: the continuous questions about the Shelby/Gray family, the business that Michael worked for, private questions about Hannah's life and her relationship with Michael.

"Why does Michael want to kill Father Hughes?"

Polly, once again, remained silent for this bit - it wasn't her secret to tell. If Michael wanted to tell Hannah about Father Hughes and his revolting, despicable ways then he would but on his own terms, when he was ready.

"Are you going to stop him or what?" Polly asked as she lit a cigarette. Her hand was aching but so was every other part of her body, she didn't want to deal with the business anymore. All it did was ruin people, send them into mad dazes that permanently remained with them. "I don't want to lose my son and I know for a fact that you do not want to lose Michael."

"I just can't understand why he wants to kill Father Hughes, this is all completely senseless." Hannah stood up abruptly, earning a sigh from Polly. This probably wasn't the right way to go about things, but Hannah was confused, upset and rather annoyed at Michael's lack of communication. Hannah knew that he was stressed, had asked him multiple times to confess what was wrong but he had remained noiseless for the whole time and not said anything.

Without another word, Hannah grabbed her medical bag and stormed over to the front door. For the first time ever, she felt angry. She was starting to choke up as she walked the distance to the betting stop, her feet not once stopping or slowing down as she went over the words that she was going to say to Michael. It would have been best to sit down with Michael and appropriately discuss everything, but that option was out of the window as she visualised Michael killing Father Hughes.

Not only would it put Michael's future in jeopardy but also hers. If Michael did ever go through with the murder of a well-respected church member and Michael was found to be guilty of the crime, Hannah would be kicked out of the convent without a second thought. The Sister's had a close relationship with Father Hughes, obviously, and would not hesitate to shame Hannah for his death, even if she didn't pull the trigger.

Another thing that Hannah couldn't get her head around was why Michael wanted to kill Father Hughes. If what she thought was true, and that was that he was involved with the business, then she would have expected Tommy to go through with the killing, not Michael. The only thing that Hannah really wanted was answers and an explanation which wasn't much too ask for but knowing Michael, she wasn't going to get those answers.

As the betting shop came into view, Hannah slowed down her steps and loitered on the street corner for a few seconds, debating her options. She had no choice but to go in there and challenge Michael about what Polly had said, with any luck calm her down and sort things out with him. Just as she was about to continue with her walk, a hysterical Alexandra came rushing down the street with her medical bag.

"I've been looking for you everywhere," Alexandra said, not noticing Hannah's gloomy and far-away mood. "There's been an incident with Mr. Maxwell."

Hannah shifted her eyes to Alexandra and furrowed her eyebrows - she had been in the same pub with him a couple of hours ago and he had been completely fine. "What's happened?"

"He's been viciously attacked."

Hannah closed her eyes slowly as she leaned her back against the cold, rough brick wall - her whole world was falling apart.

"How bad?"

"He's missing half of his tongue and his eyes have been slit..." Alexandra trailed off and rubbed Hannah's arm. "I think we can guess who did it, can't we?"

"It might not be Michael," Hannah protected - she didn't know why she was defending him, it clearly was Michael who had gone through with the act. "They have people all round Birmingham who are eager to do their dirty work and for all we know, it could have been John, Arthur or fucking Tommy."

Alexandra stood still as she waited for Hannah to finish her outburst. "Okay, I was just saying."

"Well don't say anything."

Taking it as her queue to leave, Alexandra looked at Hannah one more time with so many emotions in her eyes. Even though she had learnt to accept Hannah's relationship with Michael, it did not stop her from worrying. Grace had ended up dead because of the Shelby business and Alexandra did not want to lose her best friend to something so trivial that could have been dodged.

"I have to go," Hannah said, remorse in her tone. "I'll talk to you when I get home later, and I'll make you a nice cup of tea to say sorry for whatever that was." Hannah anxiously chuckled before wrapping her arms around Alexandra's neck, pulling her in for a long hug.

"I'll tell the Sister's that you have been called out to Linda or something." Alexandra smiled one last time before walking away, leaving reality to hit Hannah once again.

+++

Another meeting.

Another shady meeting that had Michael rushing out of Tommy's office once he had heard Hannah's voice calling through the shop. All the workers had gone home which allowed Tommy and Michael to converse all things Father Hughes, the business and how they were planning to get away with it without Hannah or anybody else clicking on.

Michael walked up the hallway, out of breath from rushing around to hide all of the evidence of his planned murder, with a wide smile on his face, a contrast to Hannah's own expression which was unreadable but Michael was able to detect that something was wrong and it was going to lead to one thing and one thing only, the biggest argument of their relationship.

"Hello, love." Michael moved in for a kiss but when Hannah pulled away, he scoffed and stepped backwards. "What's happened?"

There was blood in his fingernails and his knuckles were red. "Where did that come from?" Hannah asked, pointing down to his hands. She tried to grab his hand to examine it further, just to make sure that she wasn't jumping to conclusions, but all her doubts were confirmed when Michael ripped his hand from Hannah's touch. "Oh, okay."

Michael walked over to his desk, his eyes quickly scanning between the sheets to make sure that he had put the gun away. "I thought you was having dinner with my mum."

Hannah sat down on the chair across from his desk and crossed her legs. "That was the plan but then some stuff happened and now I am here."

"Stuff?"

"Yeah, stuff."

"What kind of stuff?" Michael asked, his lips in a thin line as he waited for Hannah's response.

Hannah let out a noise of fake glee before snappishly standing up. Michael watched as she sauntered around the office nonchalantly, her fingertips running along the edge of the cabinets and books that Michael had collected over the years. An empty glass was located on one of the cupboards from earlier, along with his cap. Carefully, Hannah picked up the cap and scrutinised the gleaming blades that Esme had stitched in for him, her heart plummeting when she saw the blood-stained metal and material.

"You can't fool me, Michael Gray. I am not one of those stupid idiots that you used to hook up with - "

"What are you going on about?" Michael groaned as he rubbed his hands on his face.

Unexpectedly, Hannah stormed over to Michael's side of the desk and grabbed him by his tie, pulling him closer so she could speak directly to his face. It was rare to see panic in Michael's eyes.

"I'm saying that I am not going to let all of this go away simply because you are some gangster. I'm not an idiot, I am not going to be messed around and I am most certainly not going to have my fiancé locked up in prison. Is that understood?"

If tough love, threatening words and a harsh tone was the only way to get through to Michael then Hannah was going to do it, even if it hurt her to do so.

"Hannah - "

"Shush." Hannah placed one finger over Michael's lips, silencing him before he could try and worm his way out of the situation. "I've just had a very thought-provoking conversation with Alexandra who let me know that Mr. Maxwell is in hospital after being brutally attacked." Hannah paused again as she moved her fingers away from Michael's mouth and released the grip on his tie. As she walked back round to the chair opposite Michael, he did not speak a word. "Was it you?"

"Yes," Michael admitted - there was no point lying about it. "And I'm not sorry about it either. The bastard deserved everything that he got."

"No one deserves that," Hannah cried, flapping her arms around in the air. "You've blinded him for life."

"Well, it means he can stop perving on you all the fucking time."

Hannah's eyes widened at Michael's comment as she chuckled, despite being dazed by his comment. "Is that why you did it?" She was almost shocked but then she remembered who his relatives were. "You did this because you were envious?"

"I stopped him before he could fucking hurt you. I've met men like him - " Michael stopped himself immediately, memories coming back. "I did it to protect you."

"Protect me?" Hannah stood up during her fit of anger, her voice becoming louder and louder with every word. "You are ruining me, Michael. I don't know if I am coming or going with you, I don't know what's going on in that mind of yours because you won't tell me anything."

"There's nothing going on." Michael tried to ignore the guilt that was overriding his body and had to keep reminding himself that he was defending Hannah.

Hannah's arms fell to her side as she gave up with the commotion, there was no getting through to Michael. "Am I a bad fiancée?"

"What?" Michael walked over to Hannah and grabbed both of her cheeks. "You are the fucking best thing in my life, alright? What happened with Mr. Maxwell was just a moment of anger and it won't happen again, I promise you."

Hannah wanted to believe Michael, but she couldn't. He was lying straight to her face. It was going to happen again with Father Hughes only it would be worse, more violent and would also mean the end of their relationship.

"I don't want you to lie to me," she said, her head falling as she shuffled her feet. "I know about your plans with Father Hughes."

"Don't mention his name - "

"Why not?" Hannah shouted, ripping Michael's grip away from her face. "I want you to be honest with me for once in your life. Why do you want to kill him? What has he done to the business? There are other ways around these things, you don't always have to turn to a gun." Michael had moved to lean against the desk, his arms folded. "If he's been involved with the business then we can tell the church, he will be forced to leave and then he will have nothing. That way, he will be suffering for a long time and you won't be in a prison cell. Father Hughes - "

Michael was glaring at Hannah, a frightening stare that had Hannah afraid of Michael. "I said, don't mention his name."

"What? Father Hughes? Father fucking Hughes." Grabbing the first thing that she saw, which happened to be the whiskey glass, Hannah threw it across the room, just missing Michael as the glass smashed against the back wall. The crash of the glass had Hannah coming back to reality as she looked around awkwardly, she had never behaved in such a way. "I'm sorry."

Michael sniffed before nodding. "Yeah, me too."

The pain in Michael's voice was noticeable as he spoke, almost making Hannah feel sorry for him. It was then that she remembered that he was planning to murder someone, and all compassionate feelings went out on the window. Still, she did her best to remain calm and not scream and shout.

"Please don't go through with it," Hannah said. She felt like a child, begging her mother to not tell her father about her disobedient behaviour. "You are better than that and you know it."

"Needs to be done, Hannah. You'll understand one day, I promise you, but I can't tell - "

"You keep telling me that I will understand one day but why can't I understand now? I'm going to be your wife eventually, but you can't trust me."

"That's not the case," Michael dismissed as he rummaged around the messy desk, trying to find his matches. "I trust you more than anything, but I can't tell you until Father Hughes is gone. I need to get this done and then things will go back to normal."

"Back to normal?" Hannah scoffed. "Nothing will ever be normal again if you go through with this. Who even put you up to it?"

"Nobody is making me do anything, it's my own choice."

Lies.

Lies.

Lies.

It was as if the only thing that Michael could do was lie. There was hardly any truth in his words which frustrated Hannah. The relationship that had blossomed was becoming cracked and ruined, all because of Michael.

"I just want to know the truth." Hannah was on the verge of tears as she waited for Michael's response – it never came. "If you kill Father Hughes then you will never see me again." Silence. "Just think about it. What's more important? Proving your place in this business or me."


	25. the grace shelby institute.

It had been a full two weeks since Hannah had learnt about Michael's chilling plans. The two of them had not seen each other, neither one of them bothering to make any type of contact with each other for the sake of their own stability. Questions were being asked at the convent, but Hannah dismissed them every single time, courteously telling everyone to keep their noses out of her private life. Hannah hadn't even confided in Alexandra about the enormous fall-out between herself and Michael, fearing that she would be judged. Hannah didn't want pity either. She knew what she was getting herself into when she had first agreed to go on a date with Michael but at the same time, she had never expected it to end up like it had done.

The two weeks had been complete torment. How had she managed to go her whole life without being around Michael? It was the simple things that she missed the most. No longer did Hannah see Esme when she popped in to the betting den on her lunch break and she didn't get to share jokes with John any longer. The only people that she saw associated with in the gambling den were Arthur and Linda and whenever she went around to check on the baby, none of them brought up the situation with Michael.

Out of everything in the world, Hannah missed Michael the most. It was expected, of course, but in her eyes, she couldn't see a way past it. Whenever she woke up in the morning, there was a pit of wretchedness in her stomach. As she walked down the streets to her client’s houses, she would look out for Michael in hopes of hearing his voice again. It had only been two weeks and she almost felt pathetic at how much she missed him but that was love and she couldn't do anything about it.

Father Hughes had been around a few times to deliberate business ideas with Hannah. Like always, he would ask numerous questions about Michael and the gang, but Hannah would never give him the answers that he clearly looked-for. Whenever Hannah saw Father Hughes at the convent, a part of her would be relieved. Michael had not gone through with the assassination - yet - but he had also not made the effort to talk to Hannah and say sorry for the way that he had treated her. A part of Hannah was itching to run over to Michael's house and forgive him there and then, but she wanted an apology before anything else.

The last few months of their relationship had been nothing but confusing. One minute, it was perfect and the next, it was awful. It was all down to the secret that Michael was concealing for Hannah's sake. She would rather Michael be honest with her about everything, so it would help their relationship and they could move on from the dismayed times, but it felt as if it was never coming.

As Hannah walked down the street and towards one her patients house, she was surprised when a familiar voice shouted her name. It was easily identifiable and every person in Small Heath had heard it at one point in their life. Hannah's heart dropped as she turned around, not one bit of her body happy to see Tommy. He looked like a lost child as he walked up to Hannah, his eyes remaining on the ground. It was clear that he knew about the massive dispute and that Hannah held him accountable for most of it.

"Thomas Shelby." Hannah turned around and scowled at Tommy, allowing her dislike for the man to show. "I have absolutely nothing to say to you so if you'd excuse me, I am going to leave and sort out my patient."

"I have something to say to you so will you please give me a couple of minutes." Hannah thought for a second before half-heartedly agreeing, a little intrigued. "Friday is the opening of The Grace Shelby institute and we would all love to have you there, including Michael."

"I don't think that's a good idea considering everything that has gone on within the last couple of weeks. I'm sure that Michael would rather me not be there."

"I want you to be a part of it, Hannah. You were there during Grace's final moments and you brought her comfort and like I've said, I will always be thankful for that. Grace liked you a lot and she would have wanted you there as well. If you don't want to come that is fine but please consider it."

For once, Tommy was coming across as pleasant, nearly shocking Hannah.

Hannah took the invitation from Tommy's hands and placed it inside of her pocket. "I'll think about it, but I can't make any promises. Thank you though, for the invitation, it means a lot."

Tommy awkwardly smiled before coughing and nodding towards Hannah. With a small chuckle, Hannah allowed Tommy to leave and watched as he made his way around the corner and down towards Watery Lane. Attending the opening of The Grace Shelby institute sounded ideal - it would get her away from the convent for a little while, it would be a chance to talk things through with Michael and she would also be there to attend a delightful (and possibly legal) part in Tommy's career.

Still, the damaging effects of the lack of trust in Hannah and Michael's relationship were still playing on her mind tremendously but she tried to put those thoughts to the side for a few minutes. If she was going to attend the opening, then she would need to come across as clear headed and calm.

+++

Friday came around and Hannah made the quick decision to attend to the opening of the institute. It had settled some questions in the convent as well, especially when Hannah had told the nurses and nuns that she would be attending with Michael. It was a fib, she would be going by herself, but she still hoped to bump into Michael, so she could discuss everything with him. The whole situation was taking away her morale, the only thing getting her through the day was helping the mothers. Other than that, Hannah was nothing but unhappy and it was starting to aggravate everybody at the convent.

It was a surprise to see Father Hughes when Hannah first walked in. She stood by the door for a few seconds, double checking that it was him and that the one sip of champagne she had swallowed was not spiked. There was an intimidating stare between Tommy and Father Hughes before the two of them walked away into a different area of the building, confirming everything that Hannah had believed. Father Hughes was part of some dodgy business between the church, or maybe something else, and The Peaky Blinders. It was tempting to tell the nuns about it, but they wouldn't believe her at all and the chances of Hannah getting wounded because of her snitching would be amplified.

After a good fifteen minutes, Michael was nowhere to be seen. Hannah walked around with a mopey expression, not bothering to talk to anyone as she waited for Michael to make an appearance. Esme had spotted Hannah from across the room and had given her a heartening smile before continuing to talk to some business man who was uninteresting but still better conversation than most of the guests that Tommy had invited.

"Are you looking for Michael?" Polly asked as she walked over to Hannah. "Because if you are, he's in one of the offices down the hall. Walked out of here about ten minutes before you arrived."

Hannah looked up at Polly and nodded her head once. "Do you think he wants to see me?"

Polly rolled her eyes at Hannah's comment before pushing her towards the door. "He's desperate to see you. The two of you need to sort things out before it all gets out of control. I think that Michael is finally willing to tell you everything, but you can't take my word for that."

"Everything?"

Polly nodded with a small smile before placing both of her hands-on Hannah's shoulders. "There's a lot of things going on in Michael's life and they are going to shock and upset you, but I need to know that you will stand by his side."

Hannah shifted her eyes around the room, looking at all the immoral people that had been invited. There was more to the opening than Tommy was letting on.

"I can't promise you that, Polly," Hannah responded.

Unsure on how to reply, Polly let go of Hannah and watched as she walked down the hallway in hopes of finding Michael somewhere. The music from the party was playing through the walls, the joyful sound a contrast to the way that Hannah was feeling inside. The optimistic music that Tommy had ordered was not bringing her any comfort. Instead, her heart was thumping with every footstep as she entered one of the offices, only to be met with no Michael.

Another office, no Michael.

A third office, no Michael.

As Hannah was starting to give up hope, the familiar smell of smoke was evident in the air and Hannah smiled to herself, she had found him.

When entering the office, Hannah prepared herself for screaming and shouting, words that didn't mean anything to the two of them and vile insults. Both Michael and Hannah were angry at themselves and each other. They had once made a promise which consisted of the two of them not letting the business get involved in their relationship, that the two most important aspects of Michael's life would stay separate and away from each other to avoid conflict and grief. The promise had been broken.

"Michael." Hannah's voice was delicate as she called out his name. The room was dark, but she knew that he was there, his scent giving him away.

Leaning over to the desk, Michael put the lamp on and watched as Hannah made her way over to sit across from him. "Hannah."

More silence followed as they refused to make eye-contact with each other. It was as if the two of them were in two separate worlds, scratching at the walls to get back to each other but there was something stopping them. The elephant in the room needed to be addressed but it was down to Michael to tell the tale, not anybody else and all Hannah could do was wait for Michael to announce the secret that he had kept hidden away from Hannah to protect her.

"Do you have anything to drink in here?"

Michael hummed before pushing his glass forward. Hannah took a sip before leaning back in her chair, watching Michael closely. He didn't look like her Michael anymore, more like a shell. It was his face, body and features but his enchanting personality and charming smile was absent, just a distant memory that Hannah held on to.

"I want to talk about things and see what we can do to get through this. I'm not giving up on you, not now, not ever."

Michael looked up at Hannah through his eyelashes before nodding his head. It had taken Michael two weeks to build up the courage, but he was finally going to tell Hannah everything. It was the only way that he could save their relationship and make Hannah understand the hatred towards Father Hughes. She deserved to know as well. Hannah had been supportive of Michael and had stayed by his side for a large portion of every crime that he had, and he knew that she would help him get through this.

"I've been keeping something from you, something serious." Hannah prepared herself by taking another gulp of the strong liquor. "It's something to do with Father Hughes."

Hannah had figured that part out. The two of them had been perfectly fine and happy before Father Hughes had come along. "Go on," she encouraged when Michael went back to his silent self.

"I knew him when I was child, when me and my sister had been taken away from my mother..."

+++

By the time Michael had finished explaining everything, Hannah was a mess. Guilt was running through her body at a hundred miles per hour as all the information tried to make sense in her head. Such innocence had been ruined at a young age, his childhood snatched away from him because of a creep with no morals. Michael had never had the chance to flourish as a normal teenage boy, it had all been tainted and taken away from him without a second thought.

"Why didn't you tell me?"

"I feared what you would think, scared that you would leave me."

Hannah's mouth was open in shock and she shook her head. "I'd never leave you, never. You are the love of my life, remember? I'd be there with you through everything and I'd help you as much as I could."

"You can't help this," Michael retorted. There was pain behind his voice which was more perceptible know that Hannah knew the actual reason for his vendetta against Father Hughes. "Nobody can help this."

"But killing him can help ease the agony?"

"I'm killing him because I need to get closure on what happened but also because I want to protect you. It makes me feel sick knowing that you've spent time with him and he's asked you out for dinner - "

"Michael," Hannah interrupted as she walked around the desk to perch herself on Michael's knee. There were tears running down her face and her voice was breaking as she grabbed hold of Michael's cheeks and forced him to look at her. "I never, ever, ever, ever would have gone into business with him if I had known the truth. I didn't realise that it was hurting you so much and I'm sorry, I am so sorry."

Michael rested his forehead against Hannah's as he ran one hand up and down her body. "You weren’t to know."

Hannah knew that, she had no idea that Father Hughes involvement with the Shelby's had been so wicked, she had just expected him to go against the Blinders. For the first time in Hannah's life, she wanted to kill someone. No longer did Hannah feel angry at Michael for wanting to kill Father Hughes, she understood him instead.

Leaning down to her mouth was next to Michael's ear, she whispered, "Do what you have to do. I'm not going to stop you."

Michael squeezed Hannah's waist and moved his mouth to kiss her cheek. "You might regret saying that."

"Maybe." Hannah pulled away and leaned back, smiling softly as Michael wiped away some fallen tears. "But it needs to be done so he doesn't make any more children suffer. I mean, me and him were going to start an orphanage together. What if he had hurt other children?"

Hannah covered her mouth when a large sob broke free. She had planned to help children with this appalling man who had no care in the world for anyone or anything but himself.

"It's not going to get that far, do you understand? Things will be okay, I promise."

Michael's promises had so far been proved to be completely unreliable, but Hannah nodded in agreement.

There was no denying the fact that Hannah wanted Father Hughes to suffer, even if that meant death, but she still wished that Tommy was going to be the one who pulled the trigger. She understood Michael’s motive but there was still a feeling of dread about Michael doing it and killing the wicked man. It would only take the wrong person to find out about the slaughter and then Michael would be pulled in by the police and be found guilty of the crime.

“Can Tommy not pull the trigger? I know I said that I wouldn’t be angry with you, but I just want to know if theres anything else you can do before you actually go through with this.”

Michael shook his head. “I need to do this, Hannah.”

“But, can’t you at least ask Tommy?”

“I will ask but I can’t say that he will agree to taking part in the murder,” Michael lied – he wasn’t going to ask Tommy at all. Michael needed to do this.

"Just make sure you don't end up in the gallows, aye? We have a wedding to plan."

Hannah's miserable attempt at a joke earned a small chuckle from Michael. "I'll be fine, I promise. Tommy is going to make sure of it."

+++

Tommy was stood at one end of the room, Hannah at the other side. Michael had announced that he to go and talk to Ada about some business in Boston, leaving Hannah on her own. She watched as Tommy walked over and leaned against the wall besides her, both taking a sip of their drink at the same time.

"If he ends up in prison, dead or hurt then I will hunt you down myself." Hannah turned her head to the side and looked at Tommy. "Look after him, please."

"He's a grown man - "

"He's broken," Hannah interrupted, glaring at Tommy and his casual mood that angered her. "Tell me that you will look after him and make sure that nobody hurts him."

Tommy sniffed before nodding. "I'll look after him for you and Polly. Nothing is going to happen to Michael."


	26. vengeance.

( trigger warnings - mentions of sexual abuse, father hughes etc. )

The seven deadly sins were swimming around the room. Every person owning and wearing at least one of them with self-importance. Tension was dense in the air, along with the smoke from uncountable cigarettes and cigars that people were puffing on, the smell of champagne was noticeable and fake smiles had been imprinted onto guests faces. Tommy was pointlessly walking around the large and extravagant room, giving each guest his undivided attention and making sure that he came across as the respectable guy.

Hannah almost scoffed at Tommy's bogus performance but a part of her was also impressed. No matter the situation or who he was around, Tommy always had the upper-hand and was able to get what he desired - with or without viciousness. It showed the change in Tommy over the years. One lunch time, when only Sister Margaret and Hannah were available to sit down at the dinner table, Sister Margaret had told Hannah about Thomas Shelby. As she had been in Small Heath for many years, Sister Margaret had watched the sweet boy grow up into a murderous villain, full of brutality and rage but also a man with a passion to defend his family and those closest to him.

The War had ruined many people, Hannah had only been young when it had first kicked off, but she had heard stories about men coming back from France, or wherever they had been posted, as completely different people. Hannah's Auntie, one of the few family members that Hannah could sit in a room with and a fellow nurse in London, had gone over to France to help with the incapacitated soldiers and had also come back a different woman. Hannah's father referred to the nurses in France as the forgotten heroes.

Tommy Shelby, and the other Shelby brothers, reflected the pain and misery that had occurred in the trenches and tunnels. Suffering was evident, although they did their best to keep it hidden, along with survivor’s guilt. Hannah had seen it many times before when she was doing her training, even years later men were suffering from the effects of The Great War.

Michael reflected the corrupt power of the church.

For as long as Hannah could remember, people had speculated about the church and what went on once the prayers had finished and the people had left. Most people thought nothing of it; they could trust the church. Hannah know knew the truth and saw what pain it caused to those blameless children who were frightened and alone without their parents and family around them, forced into an unknown place and putting their trust in strangers who abused that.

As soon as Father Hughes had walked back into the room, Hannah felt her stomach tighten and her breath become quicker. It was so hard for her to not rush over and grab him by the clothes, hurt him and scream in his face for the wretchedness that he had caused Michael. What good would it do? Michael wanted to deal with it himself, his own way and on his own terms. Whatever Hannah was thinking, or planning to do, would have to wait until the perfect moment. There was no denying the fact that she was going to have it out with him and make him know that all his immoralities would one day be uncovered to the world and that he would lose everything that he had worked for.

Hannah didn't even have time to consider what she was going to say to Father Hughes, within seconds he was walking over to her with a 'friendly' smile on his face that had Hannah clenching her fist as she thought happy thoughts. Causing a scene in the middle of the service was disrespectful to Grace's memory so Hannah mirrored Father Hughes smiled and nodded towards the doorway where the argument that was about to occur would remain hidden from the guests.

"I'm glad that I have the chance to speak to you on your own," Father Hughes started as the two of them walked down the long hallway and towards the office where Michael had told Hannah about the abuse he had suffered at the hands of Father Hughes.

"Yes, me too," Hannah said with a fake smile as she pushed Father Hughes into the office. "I had a very interesting chat with my fiancé in here about half an hour ago."

"Is that the reason for your tear-stained face?" Father Hughes had an expression of fake sympathy as he placed one hand on Hannah's shoulder, his touch sending shudders through her body. "What has Michael done to upset you? I'm sure that I could have a word with him to discuss it all. There's no reason for him upsetting you."

Hannah chuckled before shaking Father Hughes touch off her body. "No, Michael is not the reason for my tear-stained face. In fact, you are the reason."

Father Hughes didn't believe a word that Hannah was saying - he had always been nice to her. Thinking that the whole thing was one big joke, Father Hughes chortled before pointing one finger in the air.

"That's very funny." Father Hughes started to stride around the room, looking at the different books that had been placed on the bookshelf. Hannah remained in the same spot, her arms folded over her chest as she glared at Father Hughes. "Come on then, what's he done?"

"I know what you did to all those children." Hannah's words instantly made Father Hughes turned around with a look of shock. "I know what you did to Michael when he was a young boy and what you most likely did to other pure children who did not deserve the torment and mental suffering that they most likely had because of your sick and twisted behaviour."

Father Hughes shook his head in disbelief. "I don't know what your fiancé has been saying but I can promise you that it is completely incorrect. It seems to me that Michael had a vendetta against me and is making up fabricated rumours to ruin my reputation. Do you believe me?"

Hannah scoffed. "Of course, I don't. I'd believe Michael over you any day of the week because I know when he is lying and trust me, he wasn't lying to me when he told me everything about you." With confidence, Hannah stepped forward and jabbed Father Hughes in the chest. "What would Sister Margaret and Sister Maria, along with every other church member, think if they all knew that you were some dirty pervert."

Father Hughes seemed casual about Hannah's comment. Even though Hannah was talking to Father Hughes with every ounce of confidence, despite being a little scared of him, he still held the power in the conversation. What the nuns even believe Hannah if she told them the truth about Father Hughes? Most likely not. If Michael went through with the killing, then it would mean that nobody would find out about the revolting crimes that Father Hughes had committed - that was unless Michael decided to come out with the truth but the chances of anyone believing him were low and what would he gain from it? Absolutely nothing. It would just make him a prime suspect in the murder/disappearance of Father Hughes.

"I'll have you know, sweetheart - "

"Don't you dare call me that."

"I'll have you know, Hannah,” Father Hughes repeated, squinting his eyes as he pushed Hannah's body backwards, harder than she was expecting. "That what Michael is saying is false and if those lies end up spreading around the city then I will hurt you badly and your precious fiancé, is that understood?"

Hannah was backing herself against the desk and Father Hughes was walking slowly in front of her. There was no chance that Hannah could remain assured, she was petrified. She wasn't built for confrontation and she wasn't like Michael and the other Shelby's who could effortlessly overpower their opponents.

Hannah's fear was noticeable from her quivering lip and heavy breathing. Father Hughes smirked as he stroked Hannah's cheek, chuckling when she scowled and tried to pull away. One hand glided it's way round to Hannah's loose hair and pulled her up harshly, dragging Hannah's ear to the side of Father Hughes mouth.

"I will kill you."

With all the strength that she had, Hannah pushed Father Hughes away which sent him stumbling backwards. He quickly recovered himself and made quick movements over to Hannah but luckily, she was quicker and had rushed over to the office door, opening it and peaking her head out to check the hallways.

"You make one more move and I will scream. Do you want some very angry Blinder men after you?" Hannah cocked her head to the side and it was her turn to smile when Father Hughes stilled his actions. "Stay away from Michael, stay away from the Shelby and most importantly, stay away from children."

"What power do you have? You can't tell me what to do and you certainly can't bring me any harm. You are simply a Shelby whore and a midwife."

Hannah raised both eyebrows. "It's not me that you have to worry about."

"I can handle Tommy Shelby."

Hannah shook her head. "It's not Tommy Shelby that you have to worry about." Hannah turned around to walk away but turned her head back to Father Hughes. "Oh, and I won't be going into business with you."

Hannah left straight away, not giving Father Hughes a chance to respond. She wanted to keep him on the edge and make him worry about what could possibly happen soon, it brought her great pleasure to know that the malicious, wicked and ghastly man was stood in the office racking through all the people who could possibly come after him. Michael wouldn't even be a person in his list of possible enemies - he had not been in the business for long, had not committed a murder and was hardly involved with anything violent unless it was silly bar fights when he had drunk too much.

"Where have you been?" Michael asked, slightly out of breath and clinging onto Hannah's arm. The two of them were stood away from the large crowd, giving them a chance to speak privately without anyone interfering. "Esme said that the last time she saw you was when you were walking out of her with that fucking bastard."

Hannah placed a hand on Michael's arm to comfort him and captured his lips, the first kiss that they had shared in over two weeks. It felt nice, she was back where she fitted, surrounded by the Shelby's and with the man that she worshipped greatly.

"Don't worry about it, love. Nothing serious happened," she told him, smiling kindly.

"What did he want with you?" Michael paused, panic running through him. "Or what did you want with him?"

"I just told him that we would no longer be going into business together."

Michael sighed before placing one hand on Hannah's cheek. "No more lies."

"I'm not lying," Hannah said, her tone too sweet for Michael to believe her.

"But you aren't being completely honest, are you?"

Hannah hated how Michael was always able to call her out when it came to lying. Hannah would be willing to tell Michael everything about the conversation that her and Father Hughes had but she feared his response and what he would do when he found out. Michael was erratic, a hidden bomb ticking inside of him and waiting for the right moment to blow up and cause pandemonium wherever he went.

It was as if the room had become quiet, every guest listening in on the tension filled conversation between Hannah and Michael. It wouldn't be long before Michael found out the truth, he had a knack for that kind of stuff. Telling Michael that Father Hughes had threatened her was Hannah's fear, it would spur him out of control, but it needed to be done, they said that they wouldn't keep things from each other anymore.

"He threatened me to kill me, called you a liar and said that he wasn't scared of Tommy." Hannah chuckled slightly at the last few words, who wasn't scared of Tommy Shelby? Even his own family were sometimes scared to go against the callous man. "I didn't mean for things to go that far, it just happened."

Michael didn't even pay attention to the fact that Father Hughes know knew about Michael's hatred towards him or that Hannah had told Father Hughes about the abuse and Hannah knowing, he was simply focused on the threat to kill. There was no other emotion but anger - how dare Father Hughes threaten Hannah? The one women in the room who had never done anything illegal, the most innocent girl that Michael had met who was only protecting her fiancé?

"Who does he think he is?" Michael scoffed as he linked his fingers with Hannah's. "He'll fucking regret ever threatening you, I promise."

"Don't do anything stupid, Michael," she said, already knowing it was too late for that. Michael was going to kill Father Hughes anyway at some point in time, him threatening Hannah only encouraged the need to kill Father Hughes even more. "I know what you are like and you can't control your anger very easily, too much like Tommy."

Michael sighed, half-agreeing with Hannah's point about Tommy.

"It needs to be done, you do understand that, don't you?"

"I'm not happy about it, I'm not going to lie but I want that man gone before he causes anymore harm to innocent children." Hannah paused and shifted her body, so she was facing Michael who was leaning against the wall, his shoulder supporting him. With the one hand that wasn't being held by Michael's, Hannah ran her palm across Michael's cheek. "Just promise me that it will be the only time that it happens and that you won't kill after Father Hughes."

Michael nodded, nonverbally promising. "Anything else?"

"I love you more than anything, which you know, and I can't be without you, so I need to know that Tommy has this covered and there will be no police knocking on your door and sending you down to the station or even worse, to the rope. It would destroy not only me but your mother who loves you more than you think." Hannah finished her ramble with a glance down at the ground, uncomfortable and excruciatingly waiting for Michael's response.

Not killing again was something that Michael could promise because that was down to him. However, no one knew what would happen in the future. The Shelby's had many connections, both good and bad, it probably wouldn't take long for people associated with the business to find out that Michael was involved with the murder and if the Shelby's made one wrong move towards an opponent, it was only a matter of time before they became grasses, so they could get some revenge.

"Whatever happens, I will constantly be by your side and protecting you."

It was enough for Hannah at that moment in time. All she really wanted to do was spend as much time as possible with Michael before anything else kicked off. The deserved death of Father Hughes was looming over their relationship, both parties wanting it to happen as soon as possible, so they could move on and get back to their routine and waiting for the right time was killing them both slowly.

To see Father Hughes walking around the room without a care in the world, greeting the guests and shaking the hands of the children was making both Hannah and Michael feel sick, along with Polly who was watching Father Hughes closely from the corner of the room. Michael's grip on Hannah's hand got tighter once Father Hughes had turned his attention over to the young couple, smirking slightly as he nodded his hand once towards the both. Michael was ready to grab his gun and pull the trigger there and then, but he remained calm and collected for Hannah's sake who was a quivering mess besides his frame.

"It's alright, he's not going to touch you while he's here with us lot. The cunt isn't going to win against the Shelby family and trust me, he wouldn't dare. He's too much of a coward and knows that we could take him down within seconds."

Hannah was thankful that the Shelby's had taken such a likening to her. It made her feel safe and protected, part of the family and she knew that if there was ever an issue and Michael wasn't around, she could turn to any of the Shelby family members for support and help.

"I know."

From her place in the corner of the room, Hannah spotted Linda waddling around with Arthur on her arm. She was six months pregnant and looked stunning, the pregnancy glow making her skin look flawless along with every other feature on her body. As much as Hannah liked being around Michael, she needed a break away from all the negative talk and she could see that Michael was desperate to tell Tommy about Father Hughes shabby threat towards Hannah.

"I'm going to talk to Linda," Hannah told Michael, squeezing his hand for comfort. "I won't be long."

Michael nodded before quickly grabbing a glass off one of the trays that the waiters were walking around with. "I'll be with Tommy if you need me or if Father Hughes tries to start anything, alright?"

"Be safe."

Michael almost cried at Hannah's comment, it was another promise that he couldn't keep. He much preferred Birmingham and the Shelby's to his previous life back in the small village but sometimes, just sometimes, he wished that things could have been different. A life away from the criminal behaviour seemed like hell to Michael before he had met Hannah, but it seemed like an ideal opportunity which would make their relationship move forwards without the constant worrying. Still, Michael knew that their love for each other was unbreakable and that they would get through anything that life flung at them.

"You too."

There was a wide smile on Linda's face as Hannah strolled over to her, giggling at the sight of her bump that was straining against the tight dress that Linda had brought for the occasion. Arthur quickly kissed Hannah on the cheek before leaving his wife and Hannah to talk alone. As much as Arthur loved his wife and his unborn child, he still couldn't handle all the birthing talk.

"You look well," Linda commented, running her hand across the silk on Hannah's dress. "I love this dress."

"Michael brought it me a few months ago. You can borrow it when this little one has popped out," Hannah said with a wide smile. "You look well too, pregnancy is making you look amazing. How are you?"

Linda sighed before waving her hand in the air. "Haven't had a full night’s sleep in weeks because I can't get into a comfortable position and Arthur is returning home late from work most nights so that's making me stay awake along with the worrying. It's good that you don't live with Michael, you know." Linda chuckled before shaking her head.

"I'll see if the doctor can do anything to help with your sleeping and I'll have a word with Arthur about his late-night shifts. It's not going to do you or the baby any good if you are both stressed out and worrying." Hannah ran a hand along Linda's arm to comfort her.

"Don't worry about me, I will be fine." Linda's grin came back onto her face as she nodded towards Michael and Tommy who looked as if they were having a serious conversation. "Are you two back on then?"

"We were never off, I guess, there was just some problems that came up and we both needed to work through them because things went any further," Hannah told her, keeping out all the details that Michael would not want to be shared. "We will be fine though, I know it."

Linda couldn't help but smile at Hannah - she could see a happy young girl who starting out her life with a man that she adored. Michael was Hannah's first proper love, mostly because her career and need to help others had always come before boys, and she was going into it blind which worried Linda a little. She had been like Hannah once and still was in some ways. An outsider. Both Hannah and Linda came from totally different backgrounds to the Shelby family members and had been brought up in different worlds, yet they had both found their place in the family somewhere, even if they weren't always liked.

"I'm sure you will be."

Hannah and Linda remained in conversation for a little longer, discussing all things babies and what would happen when the birth came around. It was something that they had discussed many times since Linda had found out that she was pregnant because they both genuinely enjoyed the subject but this time, they were doing it to keep their attention off the brewing tension.

Out of nowhere, that tension erupted and the whole building turned into a frantic mess as every individual looked for Charlie.

Hannah rushed over to Michael and shook him a little, bringing him away from the trance that he was in. Tommy was in a hysterical mess as he screamed out his son’s name, his voice broken, and the tears were starting to build up in his eyes, but Hannah kept her focus on Michael who looked as if he was ready to murder somebody.

"Go home with my mum, alright? Keep her safe."

"When will you be home?"

Michael shrugged his shoulders and looked at Hannah blankly. "Some time tomorrow."

"I have work - "

"You'll have to pretend you’re sick or something then, won't you? Just make sure that my mum is safe, and I'll speak to you tomorrow. Here, take my car."

Michael pressed a virtuous kiss against Hannah's forehead before rushing off, leaving her confused and out-of-place as she watched everybody rush around. Father Hughes was nowhere to be seen, indicating that he had something to do with the disappearance of Charlie and all Hannah could do was wait and let the Shelby's sort out the horrible situation that had occurred.


	27. true colours.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> authors note; hiii, this is so much shorter than i wanted it to be but my inspo has been at an all time low :( plus, exams are coming up so your gonna have to be patient i am afraid. because of exams, updates will be once a week from now on but will go back to normal after the 15th June because that's when they exams finish so just five more weeks of this shitty schedule.

Hannah and Polly arrived home safely – as safely as Hannah could get them back because the only driving she had really done was when Michael took her on the back roads to do some quick lessons. Hannah was stood by the phone as Polly rushed around the house, doing everything she could do to keep her mind off the stuff that was going on back at Tommy’s.

Hannah had her own worries. No-one knew what the convent would say when Hannah told them that she couldn’t work again. Fortunately, it was Betty that answered the phone, her sweet tone becoming stern as Hannah told her everything that had happened.

"You need to stop putting that family before your job, Hannah. The nuns won't put up for this for much longer," Betty said over the phone, her voice severe and full of honesty.

Hannah looked down at the floor as she continued to listen to Betty list off all the things that would happen to Hannah if she lost her job. Hannah knew the consequences, but a young child had gone missing, Michael and Tommy were AWOL as they tried to hunt down the lost youngster and Polly was a hysterical mess, worrying about everything and everyone.

"My place is here," Hannah cautiously said. "With a family that are broken-hearted and in need of an outsider’s comfort. Please, cover my shift tomorrow and I will do anything that you want," Hannah paused and chuckled momentarily. "I'll even clean out that God forsaken medical storeroom if you want."

Betty refrained for giggling along; she wasn't in the mood at all. "This is the last time and I mean it. I adore you and I know that Michael means a lot to you, but you've put so many years work into getting this occupation and getting to where you are now. Do not ruin it."

Polly was sat at the other side of the room, her head in her hands as she cursed the ground that Father Hughes walked on. Hannah said her goodbyes and thank you to Betty before walking over to Polly and handing her a drink of water.

"I need something stronger than this," Polly mumbled but still, she downed the water in one go and placed the glass violently on the coffee table.

"There's nothing in here I'm afraid. It looks as if someone has completely cleaned out the alcohol cupboard," Hannah joked.

"Probably Michael over these last two weeks."

Hannah put Polly's comment to the back of her head for the time being, there was more significant things to focus on than Michael and Hannah's brief absence from each other. The relationship between the two of them would be something that they discussed when Charlie was back home safe, and Father Hughes was deceased or at least away from Birmingham. That way there would be no distractions and they could talk over everything that has occurred during their short-term time of being boyfriend and girlfriend.

"When do you think they'll be home?" Hannah asked, watching Polly as she inattentively looked ahead at the wall. "Michael said tomorrow but I imagine that they will all have the business finished rather soon, you know what they are like."

"Yes, I do." Polly's voice was monotone as she turned to look at Hannah, her eyes shut slightly, and voice broken as she spoke. "Why couldn't my life be easy? I never asked for any of this. I just wanted my children, my family and a pleasant life. Instead, this lifestyle that we live has turned me into a woman I did not want to become."

"Life throws things in your direction and sometimes you lose control of yourself, but it never makes you a bad person."

Hannah's words were no comfort for the distressed women who was trying her hardest not to panic about the events that were unfolding. Her nephew was a complete mess as he frantically looked around for his son, Michael was on a mission to murder the man that had ruined his life and John and Arthur were out doing some business that Hannah did not want to know about.

"I just wish that things could have been different somehow. I know that the boys are not the kindest of people and have their problems but deep down, they are the greatest and will do anything for their family. I fear that tonight events will tip Tommy over the edge."

Hannah shook her head and placed one hand over Polly's to soothe the dangerous thoughts that were ruining her mind. it was an awful position to be in, but Polly had to say strong for everybody's sake, they needed Polly more than they would ever let on.

"We should go to bed, Polly."

"I don't think I'll be able to sleep until I know that everybody is safe."

"No, come on. You need to get some rest otherwise you are going to send yourself crazy with worry. We can discuss all of this in the morning, alright?"

Reluctantly, Polly nodded her head and wiped away a few fallen tears that had fallen during her ordeal. For most of the night, Hannah laid awake in Michael's bed, nothing but the scent of him to keep her calm and at ease as she tried not to think about everything that had gone off. She could hear Polly tossing and turning in her sheets, the sound of sobs every now and again and her footsteps as she walked up and down the stairs.

By the time morning had come around, Polly looked just as awful. Hannah was doing her best to come across as cheery as she made cups of teas and spoke to Polly about Mr. Maxwell and his unwanted advances. The only response that Hannah got was a few hums and one-word answers, but it was enough for Hannah.

Squinting her eyes at Polly from across the room, Hannah observed Polly and saw how fragile she had become from the first time she had seen her at Esme and John's house. Dried mascara was stuck to the bags of her eyes, her hair was like a bird’s nest as it stuck out in all different directions and the clothes that she was wearing to the opening of the orphanage were still on her body.

Hannah had lost all sense of herself as well. For most of the night, she laid awake and thought about Michael and the plans that he had in store for Father Hughes. Hannah knew what Michael was like and the terrible choices that he made which only led him down a darker road, but she had to trust him and thankfully, she did with every ounce of her body.

It was gone three in the afternoon when Hannah finally made her way out for some fresh air. The nicely decorated walls of Polly's house were sending her mad, the smoke giving her headache and the silence becoming unbearable. The air outside wasn't much better but there was a breeze that cooled her down, physically and mentally.

Sat on the back-door step with a cigarette, Hannah watched as two birds hopped around on the green grass of the back garden, picking up bits of stale bread that Hannah had thrown out a few hours beforehand. It was a calming sight and for the first time in over two weeks, Hannah felt truly peaceful as she allowed the sun to shine onto her exposed legs. Sadly, it was all ruined when a hand placed itself on her shoulder.

Michael.

Hannah turned her head to the side and watched as Michael crouched down to Hannah’s height, one of his rough hands rubbing over Hannah's cheek, his eyes wide, acting as if he was checking for some sort of mark that would indicate that Hannah had been hurt.

"I'm fine," Hannah told Michael before removing his hand and placing it on top of her lap. "Where have you been?"

"London," he answered bluntly, moving to sit beside Hannah. "I have to go again soon and sort out the business with Father Hughes. Tommy has created some sort of plan."

"Have you not found Charlie then?"

"He's with Father Hughes." Michael turned his head to the side slightly to look at Hannah and smiled softly. "Charlie will be perfectly fine though, I promise."

"I hope so."

As soon as she had finished her statement, Hannah noticed the specks of blood on Michael's white shirt. Her eyes filled with confusion as she looked between Michael and the red stains, trying to piece together the missing information.

"I killed somebody," Michael said, clicking onto what Hannah was looking at and confessing his sins. "A man, in London, with a gun."

Hannah felt physically sick at the words. Erratically, she stubbed the cigarette out and shoved Michael's hand away from her lap.

"You said that you were only going to kill one man and that was Father Hughes. I was fine with that because of what he did to you and did to others and what he could possibly do in the future, but I was never okay with you just killing somebody out of the blue and you knew that."

"I was protecting - "

"I don't give a shit if you were protecting the King, you can't just go out and kill randomly people Michael because the world does not allow that. I forgave you for what you did to Mr. Maxwell but - "

"You can't forgive me for this?" Michael finished as he stood up without any hesitation, pointing a finger towards Hannah. "I did what I had to do and if you don't like that then you can leave right now because frankly, I don't care at this exact moment."

The words hit Hannah hard, her whole chest tightening up as she looked at Michael, a part of her not quite believing the words that were coming from his mouth. Michael couldn't believe what he had said either. The only person that he wanted was Hannah - to comfort him, love him and bring him normality but he was ruining that with the words that he vocalised.

"Is that really what you want?" Hannah asked, her voice breaking.

Michael looked around uncomfortably before nodding. "Yeah it is, you are too much of a distraction."

Hannah didn't even try to hold back the tears as she walked up to Michael, pushing him backwards with as much force as she could gather.

"Fuck you."


	28. power.

The murder of Father Hughes rocked through the convent, sending the nuns into mourning and prayers became louder and more communal. Memorials were held, with burning white candles and flowers and prayers that Hannah was forced to attend to stop suspicious behaviour arising. She felt as if she was betraying Michael by attending the vigil that was dedicated to Father Hughes but what was she to do? Not turn up and have the sister's spite her for God knows how long.

Hannah had to sit back and smile graciously, keep her delight for Father Hughes demise to the privacy of her bedroom when she was away from everybody else. The nuns and church were mourning the death of someone cherished in the religious community, but they remained ignorantly unaware of the sickening and sinful acts that Father Hughes committed during his time of serving God. Father Hughes was a waste of a life and it was sad to think that his title could have been given to someone more commendable who would have done more society, not ruin people's lives by being down right disgusting and a disgrace to God himself.

Alexandra had noticed Hannah's withdrawal from the group, but she thought nothing of it, thinking that she was perhaps unhappy because the orphanage idea would harder to accomplish now that a powerful man was not by her side. Hannah nodded when Alexandra brought this up to her and shut the conversation down before it got too deep and Hannah ended up suffering from some nervous breakdown because of everything that had piled on within such a short few weeks.

The orphanage would still go ahead, with or without anybody's else. Hannah was an intellectual woman with brains like no other, she would make it work somehow and hopefully, Michael would be by her side when she cut to the ribbon to welcome orphaned children a place of protection. That was if he made any attempt to contact her. It had been two weeks since their argument in the garden and Hannah was missing him, more than what she wished she did. His crimes had been committed, and she had to move on from that and believe him when he said that he did not want to murder anymore men. It was a hard thing to process in Hannah's eyes - how was she supposed to look at Michael again knowing that he put a bullet through a man in London? Father Hughes she could accept - if she was brave enough, she would have done it herself - but she couldn't forgive him for killing somebody else.

"It really is a shame about Father Hughes. I just don't understand why someone would kill an innocent man dead in the middle of a religious place. It sickens me," Sister Maria said as she angrily places medicine bottles into her medical bag, the sound of the glass clinking making Hannah more and more frustrated. All the nurses and nuns were stood around the large table, discussing the preparations for Father Hughes funeral which Hannah would most likely have to attend. "Who did it? That's what I want to know. They say that it could possibly be a man who is against the religious ideology, but I find that to be silly. What do you think?"

"I think that we should all shut up about Father Hughes and focus on the mothers. We have three mothers due today, every one of them first timers," Hannah spoke with a firm tone, not daring to make eye contact with anyone else. She was fed up of everyone speaking about Father Hughes as if he was some brilliant man who did wonders for society and Small Heath. If only they knew the truth. Hannah couldn't tell everyone about the abuse that poor children suffered from, including her own husband-to-be, because of Father Hughes as it would be against Michael's wishes and it wasn't her story to tell but it was becoming harder to keep her mouth shut.

Alexandra poked her elbow into Hannah's side and shook her head, wordlessly warning Hannah of what could happen if she continued to be bad-mannered towards the Sister's. Hannah should have been fired by now for the amount of times she had made up excuses, the whole escapade with Mr. Maxwell who was still recovering in hospital and the situation with Michael but for some odd reason, she was still there, and Hannah was not complaining about it. The unfriendliness would fade away eventually.

"Father Hughes was a respected man with - "

"Father Hughes might have been a respected man but it does not make him a good one."

A few shocked gasps came from a couple of the nurses, but no one dared to say anything. After what felt like hours, Hannah finally looked up at Sister Maria and through her eyes, told her that she wasn't going to take back the comment.

"And what do you mean by that, Hannah?" Sister Margaret asked, her voice softer than what Sister Maria's would have been if she had asked the question. Everyone had always said that Sister Margaret had a soft spot for Hannah and it was somewhat true. She felt as if she had to protect Hannah from all the bad things that would unquestionably come her way.

Hannah tore his gaze away from Sister Maria and smiled at Sister Margaret before shrugging her shoulders. "That is for me to know and for you to never find out."

"Alright, that's enough now," Alexandra blurted out before anyone could interrupt her. "I think it's time that we get back to our jobs, does everybody agree? As acting sister today at the clinic, I want everyone to be nice and not argue for once. There's some obvious tension floating around today, and I hope that you will all - " Alexandra stopped to look back and forth between Hannah and Sister Maria before continuing. " - sort this out because we don't not want the mothers to be on edge either."

"There is no tension. Just ignorance from certain people," Hannah responded, shrugging her shoulders casually as she grabbed her heavy medical bag off the counter. "I have a few rounds to do before clinic, so I will see you then."

Everyone watched as Hannah walked away from the room, her heart racing from fear. It was very rare that Hannah argued with anybody or replied with sly remarks, but she was agitated this morning and being a little bit grumpy with the nurses and nuns would release the bad energy. However, it was probably not the wisest idea considering the Sisters were the reason for Hannah's employment at the convent.

"It's ever since she's been seeing that Michael. When she first arrived in Small Heath, she was the sweetest girl in the world and now she is nothing but a young woman, full of arrogance and irritation," Sister Maria said, a part of her sad because Hannah had changed so much in her eyes. Hannah hadn't changed at all, at least not for the worst, she was just fed up of hearing everyone speaks so remarkably about Father Hughes when he was the worst kind of human possible.

"I believe that Hannah and Michael are going through some issues and have been for a few months now. Once things have resolved themselves between the two, Hannah will go back to normal. She just needs time to process whatever is going on inside of her;" Betty said casually, not realising that she had made something click inside of Sister Maria's brain.

"When you say a few months, are you referring to when Hannah and Father Hughes started to work together on their orphanage and fundraising ideas?" Sister Maria asked, her fingernails tapping against the metal counter impatiently.

"I believe so."

Sister Maria huffed before smiling widely. "Well, that's interesting now, isn't it?"

+++

For the whole morning, Hannah had been thinking about Michael. It was hard to concentrate on anything other than Michael considering all the bad things that were happening in her life and the fatal mistakes that had led to the downfall in their once perfect relationship, but Hannah had no choice but to slip it to the back of her mind and focus on delivering Mrs. Jones baby.

"A baby boy," Hannah exclaimed, smiling widely for the first time in a while as she cut the cord. Hannah wrapped the new born in a blanket and handed him over to his mother who was smiling with pride. "He's beautiful."

"They all are," Mrs. Jones mumbled, one thumb rubbing over the cheek of her child. "Thank you, Nurse Anderson. Thank you."

"No need to thank me, I am just doing my job."

Mrs. Jones chuckled before nodding her head and laying back a little as she continued to admire the baby in her arms. About fifteen minutes of silence passed, Hannah humming a tune and occasionally making comments as she packed her things away and tided up, Mrs. Jones just in complete and utter awe but the silent bliss vanished when Mrs. Jones spoke.

"I was down at the shops the other day and I overheard some girls gossiping about Michael - " Mrs. Jones paused and waited for Hannah's permission to continue. " - they were saying that he was responsible for the death of the man from the church. I don't know how true it is and I don't want to spread rumours, but I thought that you should know considering he's your partner."

Hannah smiled softly - it was all going to come out eventually and all she could do was deny it. "I wouldn't believe what everyone says on the street because half of them have no-idea about the real world."

Mrs. Jones chuckled. "Amen to that. I reckon it was a bunch of the toffs from the posh area of town. Anyway, it's none of my business what goes on with the Shelby's. As long as they don't come running for me."

It was a harmless joke that Mrs. Jones made but it got Hannah wondering - did they have any limits? Hannah was unaware of all the things that the Shelby's had done, preferring to not know anything, which was the best for her mentally but a small part of her was curious. The Shelby's would go down in Birmingham history for the crimes that they had committed, the obstacles that they had gone over and the empire that they had built, which meant that the truth about the Blinders would eventually come out, all the while, Hannah would remain unaware of it all. A part of her was desperate to find out the facts, learn more about Michael's childhood, the boy’s father and other information but she feared that it would mean the end of their relationship.

"What are you thinking about?"

"Is all of this worth it?" Hannah scoffed, which was not directed towards Mrs. Jones, and waved her arms around in the air. "Ah, just ignore me. I've been having a bad morning."

"I didn't mean to make it worse."

Hannah shook her head and continued to put away the medical equipment. "You haven't made it worse at all. In fact, you've made it a lot better."

Hannah strolled over to where Mrs. Jones was laid and admired the baby from her spot, a true beauty. Hannah once had her future planned out with Michael - kids, a nice house, a decent job which wouldn't involve violence, booze, drugs or murder - but it all seemed to be fading away because of the idiotic actions that Michael took to impress Tommy.

"I best be getting off because I need to see a few more mothers. If anything happens then just ring the convent but if not, I'll see you tomorrow morning."

Mrs. Jones smiled at Hannah and allowed her to leave, her focus turning to her husband once he had entered the bedroom.

The rest of the morning went rather quick, Hannah busying herself with midwifery duties and putting Michael and Father Hughes to the back of her mind for a short amount of time, so she could concentrate properly. Hannah was managing to do a good job of forgetting about Michael temporarily but of course, he had to somehow make his way back to her but this time it was in physical form, not mentally.

"What are you doing here?" Hannah asked, grabbing Michael's hand with her free hand and dragging him across the street and away from where the clinic was being held. "You can't just show up outside of my work after basically telling me that you wanted nothing to do with me."

Michael groaned and ripped his hand away from Hannah's. "I didn't mean a fucking word of it, alright? I was angry and not in the right frame of mind and I shouldn't have taken it out on you. That was wrong of me and I know it now."

"Wrong of you? That's a bleeding understatement." Hannah turned away from Michael, afraid to look in his eyes because of the sadness that she would see. He had been through enough and didn't want any more arguments with Hannah, but she wasn't going to let him off lightly. "I don't know how to act around you anymore. I'm constantly afraid that I am going to say the wrong thing and upset you. That and the fact that I am going to be constantly worrying about you for a long time to come because of your irresponsible actions."

Michael sighed and tried to reach out for Hannah's touch, but she pulled away and shook her head. "I didn't come here to discuss what happened in London, alright? I am here to talk about us and how we can move forward. That period of my life is over and done with now and the only thing that I truly want is you, my wife-to-be."

The mentioning of the word wife had Hannah scoffing. "Wife? That's funny. From what I can remember, I was just a distraction and nothing else."

"You are being bitter."

"No, I'm not. Do you have anything else to say or can I get back to my job? I have more important things to be dealing with that don't involve you for once."

It was Michael's turn to look wounded because of Hannah's words, he had fully trapped her without meaning to do so. Hannah had once been in love with her job, but he had taken it away from her because of his own actions. She loved him, more than she had ever loved anything and anyone, but he was ruining her every time he choose the business side of his life over his personal. She was on the verge of losing her job, all because she cared for Michael too much and couldn't say no to him and Michael did not want that to be the case - he wanted Hannah to be in love with both him and the midwifery, but he was taking that away from her without realising.

"I never meant to hurt you," Michael quickly said, wanting to get his thoughts out there before Hannah fully walked away. "It was the last thing that I ever wanted to do."

Hannah knew that Michael was telling the truth. "And I never wanted to hurt you. There's just too much going on in your life right now, and mine, and we both have issues that need resolving but we can't do it together."

Trying his luck one last time, Michael pressed one hand against Hannah's cheek and pulled her in for a light kiss. To his surprise, she didn't pull away and reacted back by pressing her lips harder against Michael's, showing him how much she had missed him without vocalising it.

"Let me see you tonight where we can talk about this properly. I'm not giving up on us, Hannah." 

"I - "

Michael interrupted Hannah by raising his hand in the air before pulling out an old scrap bit of paper and a pencil. Michael rested the piece of paper against the wall and wrote down the address of a familiar building before handing it to Hannah.

"Remember that cafe that we went to when we first met? It was actually the night after we had first met and - "

"I remember."

Michael cleared his throat awkwardly before handing Hannah the paper. "I'll be waiting if you are willing to come."


	29. 1+1.

The note remained in Hannah's pocket for the whole day, the crumpling of the paper making noises whenever she bent down, and her uniform creased - the sound a reminder of what she was meant to do.

By the time that clinic had closed, the babies had been weighed and all the mothers had left, Hannah was exhausted, but she had somewhere to be and she wasn't going to miss it for the world. Her love for Michael was stronger than anything and no matter how many times she tried to stop herself, she would always go running back to him and Michael would always go running back to Hannah.

"Where are you going?" Betty asked as she wiped a few surfaces down, her eyes only quickly looking up at Hannah who was flapping about as she looked in the compact mirror that Michael had brought her from London.

"I'm going to try and sort things out with Michael," she answered, as she smoothed her hair out. "Don't tell Sister Maria please, I'm already in her bad books after this morning."

Betty sighed as she remembered everything that had kicked off in the morning, it was just unneeded and caused unwanted drama within the convent, but Betty could understand Hannah's frustrations, she would not like it if Sister Maria was constantly getting on at her for the man that she dated. Still, Betty couldn't understand Hannah's unexpected hatred that was directed towards Father Hughes.

"I won't do. Also, we have arranged a fundraising event. It's just going to be a fun day for the parents to come along too with their children and we might do a raffle and stuff that like that," Betty told Hannah, filling her in on the information that had been told once Hannah had left after his argument with Sister Maria.

"Sounds lovely." Hannah checked herself over one last time before smiling at Betty. "I best get going."

Betty nodded and went back to her work, not wanting to get too distracted as it would make her lose her focus. Hannah wandered around the clinic for a few more minutes, getting all her thoughts together and making sure that she had what she wanted to say prepared.

The stroll to the cafe was quicker than Hannah had anticipated and within a short five minutes, she was stood outside of the door and preparing herself for whatever was about to happen. She was already half an hour late to meet Michael because one mother at the clinic had decided to start a fuss over something so little which put everybody behind schedule, so she hoped that Michael would still be inside waiting.

The curtains were shut, and it seemed as if no one was in there but the sound of footsteps pacing around settled her thoughts. Michael had obviously payed the owners to close early and leave for a little while so himself and Hannah could resolve their issues which Hannah was thankful for - she didn't need an audience when she opened up to Michael.

A bell rang as Hannah opened the door and stepped inside, the cool cafe a nice contrast to the blazing hot, summer sun that was causing sweat to form on her forehead. it was dark and dingy with a scent of coffee and grease, but the most noticeable thing was the silence. Both Michael and Hannah had acknowledged each other - Michael stood on one side of the room, Hannah stood on the other side of the room.

"You came," Michael said, breaking the silence. "I didn't think that you were going to come for a moment."

Hannah looked at the ground and shuffled her feet, doing her best to not look too uncomfortable. "Clinic went on for longer than I expected, sorry."

"You are here now and that's the most important thing."

Michael pointed towards a vacant table before turning on one of the lights so that the room lit up a bit more. Hannah watched Michael as she walked over to the table and sat down, her heart racing with every passing second.

He looked different to normal. The usual, classy and expensive suit was still his outfit choice but his brown, wavy hair was all over the place and his eyes were sad, a reflection of the last two weeks and what everyone had suffered from. It was a somewhat shocking sight, it was not her Michael anymore, just his body and his face.

"How have you been?" Hannah asked, shaking her head when Michael handed her the flask to take a drink. She didn't need it, but it was clear that Michael did. His hands were shaking a tad as he brought the flask up to his mouth and took a large gulp of the burning bronze drink, his eyes squeezing shut for a brief second as he got used to the taste.

"I've had better times, let's say that much,” he mumbled with a sigh. Michael’s jaw was tense as he looked in the other direction, absently watching the blue and white, worn-out wallpaper.

Hannah didn't know how to respond - was coming to the cafe a good idea? At that very moment, it seemed like the worst choice she had made in a long time. There was nothing but awkwardness between the pair and long periods of silence as they tried to figure out what they were going to say without causing an uproar.

"We both deserve better than this, don't you think?" Hannah asked after a while of the two of them just looking at each other. "Look at what we've become. We used to be in love, Michael, and now here we are, sat in the middle of an empty cafe, trying to resolve our problems."

"Used to be in love?" Michael raised one eyebrow and leaned forward. "Do you not love me anymore?" His voice was hot on Hannah’s face as he mockingly tilted his head to the side, his eyes fixated on Hannah’s as he waited for her answer.

"That's not what I am saying at all and you know it. I love you more than anything, but I can't keep dealing with all of this trouble - "

"There is no trouble, not anymore." Michael paused himself to lean over the table slightly and place his rough yet warm hand across Hannah's cheek in a soothing manner. She wanted to pull away so desperately, but he kept drawing her in, her cheek falling into his hand as she relished in his touch. His hands were dangerous and had committed devil-like crimes and yet somehow, they brought Hannah the greatest comfort in the world. "I love you."

Hannah sighed before moving her head to the side to kiss Michael's hands. Shakily, she moved her own hand up and placed it over Michael's for a few seconds before bringing it back down to the table.

"I love you."

Michael leaned back in his chair, satisfied with the answer that he had received but it still wasn’t enough for him. He need answers and he needed to explain everything to Hannah.

“I understand that things have been all over the place lately and I really am sorry about that because you were never meant to be involved in any of the drama – “Michael stopped himself to run one hand across his face, taking a deep breath before continuing. “– but things got out of hand and I wish they hadn’t, but I can’t go back in time and change it. I have to live with this for the rest of my life – “

“That won’t be long then if you continue to go on like this,” Hannah snapped without thinking. “I don’t want you to die.”

Michael laughed with disbelief before shaking his head and standing up. With quick movements, he walked over to Hannah’s side of the desk and kneeled, giving Hannah enough room to turn her body to face him.

“I’m not going anywhere, I promise.” Michael was looking up at Hannah with wide eyes, trying to tell her that she was being foolish for thinking such things. Wiping one tear away, Michael leaned up and cautiously pressed his lips against Hannah’s, smiling into the kiss when she returned it with just as much love.


	30. allegations.

The kiss continued, with Hannah placing her hands at the side of Michael's cheek, appreciating the feeling as she did not know when it would come again. It was only a matter of time before the police came knocking on the door and commanded to see Michael. Hannah could see the sight in her mind, the snap of the metal when his luck had run out, the sound of Polly screaming and the start of the engines to take them away. Michael was irrational, but Hannah was willing to forget about that for one night.

The kiss was interrupted by heavy, brash knocking on the door and an irritated Tommy shouting for Michael. Hannah and Michael pulled apart from each other, their lips close together and their breathing heavy, but they remained silent and waited for Tommy to leave. Wretchedly, it never came.

"You need to come now, Michael," Tommy demanded, his voice severe. "And you Hannah."

"Why?" Michael shouted with a grunt, he stood up from his place on the floor and whispered an apology in Hannah's direction as he walked towards the door and unbolted it. Tommy rushed in, looking around to check that it was just the two of them. "If this is something stupid then - "

"Sister Maria knows that you killed Father Hughes. I don't know how, but she does. John and Arthur have somehow made her think that it wasn't you, pretty much given you an alibi but you can't trust her."

Hannah put her face in her hands as she tried to figure out how Sister Maria would have figured it out. One of the midwives must have made an offhanded comment without thinking, just something simple could trigger it. Sister Maria was an intellectual woman, could have been a police detective if they allowed her too, so it was no surprise that she was the first one to find out about Michael's wrongdoing.

"What did you tell her?" Hannah inquired.

Tommy looked over in Hannah's direction and his eyes became softer. "I told her that Michael was with you that day."

"So, you've dragged me further into this web of lies that I didn't want to be in?"

"All you have to do is say that you were with Michael and Polly - "

"It's not that simple, Tommy. What if the police find out that Michael did kill Father Hughes? Sister Maria will know that I have lied to her and I will be thrown out on the streets without a job or even worse, she might tell the police that I was covering for Michael. The relationship that I have built with the mothers around here will be destroyed and for what? So, you lot don't have to serve time for the crimes that you have committed." Hannah was raging as she spoke, her hands flapping all in the air and when she had finished, she looked at the two cowering men with dominance.

"We won't serve time, we will be hung." Michael said, fear noticeable as he spoke.

Hannah turned her focus to Tommy and pointed at him aggressively. "You are supposed to be powerful, isn't that what people believe? I know for a fact that you would be able to get Michael off for the murder or at least stop him from having a death sentence."

Tommy shook his head. "It's not that simple."

"Fuck off," Hannah scoffed. "You should have all been hanging from those ropes years ago, but you've used your power to stop it from happening. Whether that's by paying the cops or messing with the government. Either way, you've stopped it from happening to yourself so why won't you help Michael?"

"This is different to the other crimes. This is a man that was in power with the church, he had a reputation - "

"No, you are selfish, Tommy Shelby and you will not help Michael because it does not benefit you."

Hannah grabbed her bag from the floor and stormed past the two boys, ignoring Michael's pleas as he shouted her name. There was a small quarrel between Tommy and Michael, but it was soon over as Michael came rushing down the street, his hand grabbing Hannah's wrist softly to stop her from moving anywhere else.

"Hannah, please just listen to me for a few minutes."

"I will lie for you because I love you."

The relief on Michael's face came to show and Hannah softly smiled.

"Thank you."

"I will never do it again though, Michael. I can't keep risking my career and home, I know that you understand that."

Michael nodded his head as he stepped closer, one hand reaching out to touch Hannah's check. His scent was intoxicating, sending her brain into a whirlwind when she was trying to collect her thoughts and gather together the pros and cons of lying for Michael. Getting to keep Michael by her side was the biggest pro.

Tommy walked up behind the two of them, looking down at the floor in perhaps indignity. It was impossible to understand Tommy, but Hannah had an inkling that he felt slightly guilty over dragging Hannah into the mess, especially when she had stated multiple times that she did not want to be involved with the treacherous side of the business. Tommy just didn't show his emotions like Michael did.

"Promise me that he won't go to prison, Tommy," Hannah demanded, looking at Tommy over Michael's shoulder. "Do everything in your power to make sure that he remains at home where he belongs because if you don't, then you won't just have Polly after you, you'll have me as well."

Tommy nodded, somewhat promising but not fully vocalising the two words as even he didn't know what was going to happen. It was a sticky situation that the whole family had been caught in, yet nor Tommy or Michael regretted what they had done in the last few months.

Tommy saw Father Hughes death as a victory. It was just another business deal to him, one that he had won with the help of his family. It would benefit him in the long run and it also meant that his child was safe at home, which Hannah was thankful for. To Michael, Father Hughes demise was an act of revenge, grief and a way of showing Father Hughes that no matter what he had done to Michael in the past, Michael had come out on top and show him that he would not live his life remembering the pain that priest had caused.

"We have business to do, Michael," Tommy said before nodding towards the end of the street. "Goodbye Hannah."

"I'll call you later," Michael said softly before briefly kissing Hannah. "Stay safe."

"And you."

+++

Since dating Michael, Hannah had feared walking into the convent many times but this time, she was completely and utterly petrified, and she did not know what to expect. If Sister Maria knew, then it would only be a matter of time before Sister Margaret knew and before anyone could stop it, the revelation would have been spread around the convent like wildfire and Hannah would be the topic of every conversation.

"Sister Maria and Sister Margaret wants to see you," Alexandra said as soon as Hannah had stepped inside. She was sat by the telephone, waiting for any mothers to ring in with either their waters breaking or an emergency. "It sounded pretty urgent, so I'd go straight up there if I was you."

Luckily, Alexandra seemed oblivious to everything and Hannah breathed a sigh of relief before mumbling a thank you to Alexandra and lightly rubbing her hand against her shoulder as she walked past her.

As Hannah walked down the hallway towards the offices were the sisters did their admin work and whatnot, she could hear the sound of Sister Maria attempting to talk quietly but the harshness in her voice was clear and Hannah knew that she wasn't in for a relaxed ride. She would have to lie through her back teeth to get both Michael and herself off the hook and away from the suspicious thoughts that Sister Maria was having.

"Ah, here she is! Now, do you care to tell us where you were the night that Father Hughes was murdered?" Sister Maria asked, literally as soon as Hannah had stepped inside, and her head was tilted to the side, almost as if she was trying to show off that she was in charge and that Hannah was below her.

"Me?" Hannah asked innocently, acting as if she had no idea what was going on. "I was with Polly and Michael at their house. Polly was having a bad day and wasn't very well, so we put her to bed, made her some food and made sure that she was all well and good. Why do you ask?"

"Don't act like you don't know," Sister Maria shouted, her body lurching forward but she was held back by Sister Margaret.

"It seems like your imagination has been running wild, Sister Maria. Hannah's story backs up Polly's, John’s and Arthur’s so I think that's the end of this," Sister Margaret said - making Hannah feel guilty for lying towards the mother-like figure in her life. Sister Maria, she couldn't care less about if she was being honest. Hannah just needed to be nice towards her for work, nothing else. "Thank you and we are sorry that you've been dragged into this Hannah."

"I can't believe that you are falling for this - " Sister Maria paused and looked towards Hannah. "- you were rude about Father Hughes this morning, I know that you've spoke ill of him behind everybody's back to Alexandra and I was informed this morning that Michael had a big grudge against Father Hughes. The evidence is there!"

Hannah chuckled before shaking her head. "Except it isn't. Michael was with me the night that Father Hughes was murdered. As for the vendetta, that is completely false information. Michael didn't know Father Hughes, they are completely different people - "

"You can say that again," Sister Maria muttered under her breath.

" - and there is no way on earth that Michael and Father Hughes would have crossed paths. Like I have stated, they are two different types of people with different ways of living."

Sister Maria's ignorance was almost frustrating, and it took all of Hannah’s strength to not tell her the truth about Father Hughes and what he had done to Michael and possibly other innocent children who were simply seeking their homes and safety. Of course, she had to remain silent, it wasn't her place to say anything and it would only give Michael a motive for killing Father Hughes.

"You are free to go now, Hannah." Sister Margaret smiled before turning to look at Sister Maria with strict eyes.

It wasn't over, it never was when it came to the Shelby family, but Hannah would be able to sleep easy at night knowing that Michael was clear for a little while longer.


	31. change of emotions.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> sorry for not updating on a03, i always forget about it and then i forgot my password. i am here to post over 15 chapters though so buckle in.

There was hurt, there was love and there was anger. Hannah felt as if her whole world had been ripped away from her within a matter of a few weeks. She wanted to look at Michael and hate him for the wrongdoings that he had committed but she couldn't, she detested what he had done and what his family had somewhat forced him to do but she could never hate him. Michael could murder Hannah's mother and she would more than likely forgive him, all he had to do with smile and use his notorious Shelby charisma.

However, the dark secret that Hannah was carrying for Michael and the Shelby's was looming over her and she was finding it hard to sleep at night. It seemed unavoidable to Hannah, Michael's arrest, something that would surely catch up with him if the police had any sense and investigated Father Hughes properly. Tommy could say a thousand times that he was going to protect Michael and make sure that he didn't get sent down and stupidly, Hannah believed him. She knew that Tommy could get whatever he wanted but she didn't know if he was just saying it to keep her on side, or if he was genuinely being honest.

"Crying again?" Alexandra said, nudging Hannah with her shoulder as she walked past the sad-eyed midwife. "Oh, you actually are. What's wrong?"

Hannah shrugged her shoulders, she needed to tell someone, but it wasn't her place to tell Alexandra what had occurred between Michael and Father Hughes and even though she saw Alexandra as one of her best friends, she still didn't know if she could trust her completely.

"It's nothing, just a letter from my parents," Hannah said after thinking of an excuse that seemed realistic. "They just told me that my horse had passed away."

"You never mentioned that you had a horse," Alexandra said with squinted eyes, as if she knew that Hannah was making the whole thing up. "What was its name?"

"Patricia." It was the first name that came to Hannah's head and she knew that Alexandra did not believe her but thankfully nothing more was said as the sound of the telephone ringing blasted throughout the convent.

Hannah rushed to her feet as quickly as she could and ran down the stairs, hoping to get there before any of the other midwives picked the phone up. There was a thumping in her heart, racing at a hundred miles per hours as she flew down the corridor and into the little room where the telephone was. Quickly, Hannah glanced up at the rota and saw that she wasn't on shift until the next night meaning she had a good twenty-four hours to sort her act out before she went back to midwifery duties.

"Michael?" Hannah asked as the other end of the phone was silent. "Michael, is that you?"

"Yeah," Michael said heavily, almost as if he was out of breath.

"Are you alright?" Hannah asked, feeling just as nervous as what Michael was most likely feeling.

"Yeah, yeah, I'm fine. I'm just - " Michael stopped himself before sighing and collecting his thoughts. " - I was going to ask you something earlier but I never got around to it because Tommy interrupted and then - " another pause, another sigh.

"Michael, go on..." Hannah encouraged.

"I know that I haven't done this properly before and I keep doing this over the phone, but I seriously need to ask you something - "

"I know what you are going to ask, and the answer is yes."

"What?" Michael was almost in disbelief. He hadn't expected Hannah to be so quick with her answer, almost expected a no, but despite everything, her love for him was so strong and nothing was going to break that. The pair were head over heels for each other, both thinking of nothing but each other every single second of the day, and they deserved happiness whether that be a few months down the line or ten years.

"I'll be your wife, Michael. I know that things are risky, and there's a chance that you could be arrested but despite it all, I have faith that Tommy would be able to do something about that when and if the time comes around. I can't say that things will be great either, not for a while, because we both have things that we need to work through and that will put a strain on our relationship, but I believe in us." Hannah took a deep breath as she finished her speech and she closed her eyes, waiting for Michael's reply. Knowing her luck, he probably wasn't going to ask her to marry him.

"Tomorrow."

"Tomorrow?" Hannah asked with confusion.

"We will marry tomorrow. I'm not waiting any longer."

+++

Hannah looked around as she sat on a chair in front of a mirror in Polly's bedroom. Ada was stood behind her, running her fingers through Hannah's hair as she tried to think of a style that was bridal and classy.

"I'm at work in eight hours," Hannah said, looking at Ada through the mirror and Polly who was sat on the bed, flipping through the morning newspaper and smoking a cigarette.

"You are getting married; can you not have the day off?" Ada asked before leaning over Hannah to get the hair brush.

"They don't actually know that I am getting married," Hannah admitted with a sheepish look.

Polly chuckled before shaking her head. "I can't imagine that going down well tomorrow morning. Poor nuns are probably going to have a heart attack at the thought of you being Mrs. Hannah Gray." Ada laughed along with Polly, encouraging Polly's own laughter. "What do you think they will do?"

Hannah shrugged. "They can't do much when there's a ring on my finger and it's been made official. I believe that the other midwives would be sweethearts about it, maybe even Sister Margaret but I dread to think how Sister Maria act, I will probably not tell her," Hannah joked.

Ada raised both eyebrows, causing Hannah to ask about her expression. "Well, what do you think she will say when there's children running about? The women has to find out eventually."

"Well, it's a good job that I don't plan on having kids any time soon and even if it does happen sooner than expected, both me and Michael will calmly explain to Sister Maria that we are both in love and that it is our choice what we do."

"Yes, well don't leave it too late because I would like to have grandchildren and you, and Michael are my - " Polly was interrupted by the sound of loud banging feet running up the stairs in a hurried fashion. Angrily, Polly threw her paper onto the bed sheets and started to mumble curse words underneath her breath. "Before you walk through this door," Polly said, placing her hand against the wooden door. "I want to know who it is because if it is Michael then you will not be entering and also, you are extremely impatient."

"It's John and you need to open this door." There was shakiness in his voice - fear or anxiety, Hannah wasn't quite sure.

Polly also suspected the terrible feeling and opened the door at lightning speed, checking over John to make sure that there were no injuries. "What's happened?"

"I'm really sorry to do this," John said, his eyes on Hannah. "But we all need to go to Tommy's right now."

Hannah snorted before waving her hand in the air and turning back round towards the mirror. "Tommy Shelby is not ruining my day so tell him to bugger off and leave us alone. Whatever he has to say can wait until after the ceremony or tomorrow morning."

Hannah saw John shake his head towards Polly, his eyes saying something that only Polly could understand.

"Come on, love," Polly said quietly as she walked over to Hannah. "We can go and see what Tommy wants and then we can get ready over at his house. I'm sure one of the maids there will be able to do something decent with your hair."

"That's rude," Ada grumbled under her breath.

Hannah smiled a little at Ada's comment before turning to look at John. "Is this going to ruin my wedding day and I want an honest answer from you, not some bullshit lie that Tommy has told you to give me."

"I genuinely don't know what this is about, Hannah, I really wish I did. I just got told that I needed to come and get you as soon as possible and that it was extremely urgent."

Hannah could feel her heart breaking already - why did something (or someone) always have to ruin her happiness? It was as if the universe was against Hannah and Michael. God was probably punishing the two of them for their sins - sex before marriage, lies and murder. Karma.

With miserable eyes, Hannah stood up and grabbed her coat, the warm material hiding her wedding dress which Polly had kindly gifted her seen as the wedding had been such short notice thanks to Michael's genius idea of getting married with only twenty-four hours to prepare.

"Well, we best go then."

+++

Michael looked just as frightened as Hannah as the pair sat next to each other, everyone whispering and trying to create theories about what Tommy's out of the blue meeting could be about. There was silence from Tommy, of course, as he stared at the stacks of money in front of him.

"This could be our break," Michael said, nodding towards the money. "A chance for us to escape and get away from here."

"I don't think your mum would allow it," Hannah joked before resting her head on Michaels shoulder. "We are okay, aren't we?"

"As far as I know."

"What's this, an early wedding gift for Hannah and Michael?" Arthur asked, one hand resting on Linda's enormous stomach, it wouldn't be long before she gave birth.

And then it started.

There was happiness as Tommy gave Arthur his blessing, a string of smiles but then came the list of offences, a speech, shouting and screaming, crying, a change of mood within seconds. Hannah looked around and saw the betrayal in everybody's eyes. The one person who they trusted had gone behind their back and now, they were facing the gallows.

Michael's grip got tighter on Hannah's hand as Tommy read out the offence for him murdering Father Hughes. His time as a free man had finally come to an end. Tommy had lied. He couldn't prevent this from happening.

"Hannah Anderson, perverting the court of justice."


	32. nightmare.

It almost seemed like a dream as Hannah felt the cold wind on her body, the hairs on her arms raising up as she looked ahead at the two nuns who were stood at the prison gates. This was almost certainly the end of her job; the nuns would not tolerate this behaviour and they would not want the convent to be tarnished because one of their irrational midwives had got caught up with the wrong man.

"Hello," Sister Margaret said, attempting to make eye contact with Hannah but struggling. "I think you need a hot bath and bed."

"Yes, that would be lovely."

If it wasn't for the nuns, then Hannah would still have been locked up in the tiny, dirty prison cell with nothing but her own thoughts. Both Sister Maria and Sister Margret had been fighting hard to make sure that Hannah was released, claiming that they had no evidence to prove that she knew about Father Hughes death, that she was also a victim because she had been dragged into something that she had no clue about. It was all lies of course. Hannah knew everything about the death of Father Hughes, she had known from the start, but she wasn't going to let the Sister's know that. They had managed to get her released and she wasn't going to risk getting sent back.

'A clean record' where the words used by the judge when Hannah was acquitted of her crime. They had no idea, none of them did. Hannah had managed to create another personality, she was a different person when she was with Michael. When it was just herself, the nuns and the other midwives together at lunch time, she was sweet and innocent Hannah who didn't have a bad bone in her body. That Hannah was still there somewhere. When she was with Michael and his family, she suddenly became a woman that was hiding a murder and other crimes that had been committed by the unlawful family. Hannah loved Michael greatly, more than she had ever loved anybody but those lonely nights in the cell had made her question everything.

Why did he tell her about the murder? Michael easily could have kept it to himself, he should have known that Hannah was weak and wouldn't be able to handle it all and even though she had managed to keep it to herself for a few months, it didn't take away the fact that she was going to break soon.

Why did Tommy get the police involved? She shouldn't have fell for his lies and manipulation tactics. He kept Hannah on side by lying to her, telling her that he would protect Michael at all costs but where was he now? His family was locked up, being beaten by the guards for simply having the last name 'Shelby' and 'Gray' and he was nowhere to be seen, more than likely earning more money instead of helping the people he was meant to love.

Tommy knew that it was their wedding day as well. The day that Hannah would legally be bound to the Shelby's, the day she would marry the man that she was completely in love with. He had to ruin it. Maybe it was because Tommy was never happy and instead, constantly carrying a dark cloud above his head and passing it over to others. He was a troubled man, an evil one, that would sure get his comeuppance sooner or later.

"The car is here," Sister Maria said, snapping Hannah out of her thoughts. Hannah nodded and grabbed the bag that contained her wedding dress, it would be no use now. "Would you like me to take that?" Sister Maria asked, pointing towards the bag.

Hannah shook her head, she wanted to keep it close.

The drive back to Small Heath was full of apprehension and questions. What would all the mums in Small Heath think when Hannah returned? She had once been treasured, a good midwife who did her duty well and tried her hardest to make sure that every woman in Small Heath received the best medical help. People used to send her flowers and cards, thanking her for bringing their babies safely into the world. Hannah's reputation would never be the same again, she would never be a midwife again.

+++

Hannah breathed a sigh of relief as submerged herself in the hot water. She had been stuck in the cell for too long, cold water for showers and to wipe away the blood after one of the guards had punched her for crying. Most women looked at the Shelby lifestyle and imagined glamour, but they had no idea at all, they never saw behind the scenes and how much misery was caused. She almost felt sorry for some of the girls that swooned over Tommy and the others.

Hannah had no plan of action now. She was completely lost with nowhere to go. Michael was her future, her countryside home with children and dogs had gone within the space of half an hour. Until she had properly spoken to the nuns, Hannah's fate was unknown. It was those two that held the power now, they had a tough choice to make, probably one of the hardest. They both knew that Hannah was a fantastic midwife with amazing medical knowledge due to her hard work, but she had allowed her personal life to get involved with her work and that was where they drew the line. Hannah had missed countless days of work because she had been to focused on Michael and Hannah knew that it was going to catch up with her one day.

"Hannah?" A knock on the door made Hannah jump slightly, fortunately it was only Betty. "The nuns want to see you as soon as possible."

Hannah called out that she wouldn't be long. She just needed a few more minutes to relax and forget about the outside world.

When she finally got out of the bath and dressed into some clothes that Alexandra had kindly left in the bathroom for her, Hannah made her way out of the bathroom and down the hallway towards Sister Margaret's office. She had been here far too many times getting told off for her bad behaviour.

"Come in," Sister Margaret shouted. She sounded exhausted and it was all Hannah's fault.

"Hello," Hannah mumbled as she sat down on the chair in front of the desk. Sister Maria was facing towards the window, not looking at Hannah in case she did something that God would disprove off.

"Hannah, let's just cut straight to it. These last few weeks have taken a great toll on everyone, us three more than anyone. It hasn't been easy, and we understand that you have been through a rough time which we are sorry about - " Sister Margaret was cut off by a scoff from Sister Maria. " - however, that does not mean that we are going to be soft on you. You are suspended from midwifery duties until at least after Christmas. We all need time to get over this ordeal and even though you have been acquitted, it doesn't mean that you have got away with everything."

"I understand."

"You will be allowed to stay here and do volunteering work at the hospital to keep you busy, but you will not be on the payroll, so you'll have to try and find a job somewhere else. Once we have completed our investigation and we are certain that you not been involved in the murder of Father Hughes - "

"I didn't kill him!" Hannah exclaimed, shocked that they could even think such a thing. "I never knew anything about Father Hughes murder."

"We are not stupid," Sister Maria said, finally speaking up. "We fought to get you out of prison because we did not want to see you be hanged and we didn't want our reputation to be ruined anymore but it doesn't mean that we believe you. I've had my suspicions for a while, I knew that there was something going on with you, but I put it to the back of my mind." Sister Maria turned around and pointed at Hannah with the angriest look on her face. "You have taken us all for fools and you are continuing to do so. We all know that you had some involvement, even if it wasn't direct, and it will all come out eventually. Be grateful that we are even letting you keep your bed."

"I am grateful, extremely. However, I will not be accused of murdering Father Hughes, but I will not remain silent either."

"And what does that mean?" Sister Margaret asked.

Hannah stood up before starting her long speech.

"Father Hughes was an evil man, he was disgusting and preyed on the vulnerable. Do you remember when he would constantly look after orphans before finding them homes?" Sister Maria nodded, remembering the times that Father Hughes was praised for being a good man for looking after children. "He was harming them, sexually. Taking away their innocence at a young age because he craved it, because he was a mentally sick man. Michael was one of those kids. The church took him away from his mother, split him up from his sibling and let him be in the care of a twisted individual who didn't want to help, he just wanted to fulfil his disgusting needs. He ruined Michael's life, it stayed with him and mentally tortured him. The poor man couldn't get a break and when he saw Father Hughes with me, he knew that he had to do something. So, I don't blame Michael for murdering Father Hughes and I hope it was slow and painful. He deserved it completely and I will not hate Michael for it. I will defend him for the rest of my life because I know my Michael and I know that he is a bad man, but he would not kill anyone for no reason, he had every reason to kill Father Hughes."

Both nuns sat in silence as they digested the information. Hannah felt guilty for telling Michael's secret, but she wanted everyone to know that Father Hughes was not a victim.

"Why didn't Michael report this?" Was the first question asked by Sister Maria.

"Who would you believe? A 'well-respected' figure in the church or a 'gangster'?"

Sister Maria looked down in shame, she knew her answer but she wouldn't want to admit it out loud.

"You are free to leave," Sister Margaret said.

"Is that it?" Hannah asked with a shocked expression. Deciding not to push it any further, Hannah nodded her head once before mumbling a good bye. However, she stopped herself before she left the room. "I know I can no longer take part in midwifery duties, but I ask of one thing, can I be the midwife who delivers Linda Shelby's baby?"

"We will think about that."

She knew that the conversation would arise again and that more questions would be asked but all Hannah truly wanted was her bed, but she had a phone call to make first, a very important one.

She could remember the number easily, Michael had given it her in case she desperately needed it or if she was in danger. She wasn't in danger, of course, but she needed to speak to him and give him a piece of her mind. He would not get away with the pain that he had caused Hannah and the rest of the family.

"Tommy is not available," one of the maids said, her voice anxious as she noted down the anger is Hannah's voice as she demanded to see Tommy.

"Tell him to make himself available right this minute."

There was a sigh from the other end of the phone before silence. Hannah waited patiently for Tommy to pick up the telephone and speak and while she waited, she went over all the things that she wanted to say to him.

"Hannah," his voice finally came through the speakers. "I'm glad you called."

"Are you?" Hannah scoffed. "Well, I'm glad that you answered."

"What can I do for you?"

"You can listen."

There was an awkward cough from Tommy's end of the line before he agreed to listen. He did not know what was going to be said or how angry Hannah would be with him. He knew that he had done wrong, the worst thing a man could do but he had his reasons and one day, all his family would understand and forgive him.

"Go on."

"I just want to know why you did it and why you thought it was acceptable to have your own family arrested and sent to prison for crimes that you helped to organise? Why are they the ones in that prison suffering but you are perfectly safe on the outside in your lovely mansion with your maids at your beck and call? Your family, the people who have been loyal to you, are suffering and what are you doing about it? Nothing - "

"I'm working on it," Tommy interrupted.

"It shouldn't have happened in the first place. You promised me that you would sort it all out and that Michael would not have to step foot in one of those cells but look at where he is. They beat me up, Tommy, and that was just because I was associated with the Shelby's so what are they doing to them?"

Tommy felt the guilt rising, he hadn't slept properly since he had seen all his family taken away in the police cars. He should have done more to stop it, but he barely had enough time to process all the information himself. If he could go back in time and change everything then he would but it was too late.

"Did you see Polly?"

"No, I didn't. On the first night she was in the cell next to me, but they moved her the following day. I heard her crying and begging the guards, and do you know what followed after that?" Hannah waited for Tommy to respond but he remained silent. "They laughed at her. John, Arthur, Michael and Polly are nothing in there, they are just criminals with no rights or anything and that is down to you. I hope you struggle to sleep at night and I hope Finn never forgives you for taking away the people that he loves dearly."

Hannah's anger was growing the more that she spoke to Tommy and his lack of words was infuriating her. This was his family, but he clearly did not care, he didn't even have the effort to defend himself and explain his reasons for getting them arrested.

"Do you have anything else to say?"

Hannah looked down at the ground and took a deep breath. "Is Michael going to die in there?"

Tommy clenched his jaw and shook his head. "No."

"Can I trust you?"

"No," he answered honestly. "But I'll do everything that I can to make sure that they get out. It won't even get to the point where they see the ropes, do you understand?"

"If Michael comes out of there a different man then I promise you, I well and truly promise you, that I will make you suffer the way that you have made them suffer. I'm not a violent person but I know things about your business, about you, and I will use them against you if Michael dies. Do you understand?"

It was odd for someone else to hold the power. "Yeah, I understand."

"Good."

"Is there anything that I can do?" Tommy asked, hoping that it would get rid of some guilt that he was carrying around. "Anything at all."

Hannah thought for a moment before speaking up, "you can get me a visit to see Michael. If there's a chance that Michael is going to die in there then I want to say goodbye properly. I don't want no guards in the room, I want it just to be me and him."

"I'll see what I can do."


	33. final meeting.

Surprisingly, Tommy stuck to his word and managed to get Hannah a visit to see Michael. There was a letter posted on the Saturday morning saying that Hannah was to visit the prison on the Monday morning at 10am, which Hannah's as grateful for. She had been stuck in the nunnery for nearing on a week and it was sending her insane. None of the nuns were speaking to her and the midwives were only being kind because they felt sorry for her. Betty had attempted to make conversation about Michael but Hannah quickly shut her down and changed the conversation, not wanting to speak about what had occurred over the last few months. It was too much for her to handle.

However, it was Sunday afternoon that Hannah really got a shock. The doorbell rang during Sunday dinner and Hannah was the one to answer the door. When she first saw Tommy stood at the door, she didn't know if she wanted to hug him for getting her the visit or slap him for everything that he had done. She decided to use violence.

"Jesus Christ," Tommy exclaimed as he held his hand to the side of his face, watching Hannah as she shook her hand to stop the stinging. "You said you wasn't a violent woman last week."

"Well, your face just happens to anger me and I can't stop myself," Hannah muttered with a scowl. "What do you want, anyway? You have no right whatsoever to be here."

Tommy stood up straight before handing Hannah a chunky envelope. "A wedding present, from me."

"We never got married, remember? Someone went and ruined the special day by having us all carted off to prison."

Tommy looked down before recomposing himself. "Just take it, please."

Hannah reluctantly looked inside of the envelope and to her shock, found a wad of money. "What's this for?"

"I heard that you had been stripped of all of your midwifery duties and that you would no longer be earning any money. I felt responsible so this is to tide you over for however long you are out of work. However, if you do want a job then I can find you something at the office."

Hannah darkly chuckled before smiling at Tommy. "Down on workers, are you? How many jobs are going? Four? I wonder why that is," Hannah paused and pretended to look confused. "Oh yeah, it's because you had four people put in prison. Not just any people though, your family."

"I didn't come here to discuss that - "

"Why are you here then?" Hannah interrupted. "Why didn't you get one of your cronies to bring it to me? Why did Tommy Shelby personally deliver me an envelope full of cash?"

"I wanted to make sure that you were okay."

"Guilty conscience?"

"Exactly that," Tommy responded, not even trying to deny it any more. He knew that he had done wrong but he was working hard to make sure that he put things right again.

Hannah raised her eyebrows in Tommy's direction and he took it as sign to leave, he didn't want to anger her any more than he already had. By the time he had got to the bottom of the steps though, his name was called by Hannah.

"Thank you," Hannah said sincerely, holding up the envelope. "For this and for getting me a visit to see Michael."

 

Tommy nodded his head before walking over to his car. He watched as Hannah walked back into the convent and let out a large groan, slamming his hands against the driving wheel, releasing his anger. There was no coming back from this, Tommy understood that completely and he would have to do more than just ask for forgiveness to get his family to trust him again but it was a long road, and Tommy had a lot of hard work to do to make sure that his family got released from prison and were safe back at home.

+++

"Back already?" One of the prison guards sniggered as they checked Hannah down to make sure she wasn't going to cause any harm.

Hannah sarcastically smiled as the prison guard led her towards a small room that was away from the rest of the cells. Hannah didn't have long with Michael but it was enough time to say goodbye and that mattered to Hannah.

"He will be through soon," the prison guard said before walking out of the room.

Hannah took in her surroundings. The last time she had been here was a blur, she tried to sleep for most of the time so she didn't have to listen to all the guards sniggering and be sarcastic, making comments about the fact that she was in her wedding dress for the first twenty-four hours of her stint in prison.

The room was dingy, dark and had a funny smell to it. There was hardly any light in the room, the only source of sunlight coming through the tiniest window in the centre of the wall. It was dismal, which matched Hannah's mood. However, there was only a glimmer of happiness inside of her and she was sure that would grow once she saw Michael's face. She missed him dearly, and this would possibly be the last time she ever saw him, so, she wanted to make the most out of it.

The sound of the metal clinking together was the first sound she heard, followed by many swear words as Michael swore at the prison guards. They had a thing for being too violent.

Michael was faced away from Hannah for a few moments, not allowed to move or look around the room until the guards had removed the cuffs and made sure that he would not run away. Michael wouldn't get very far, he was in pain from the constant beatings and was weak from the lack of food and water.

When the guards had left the room, and had given Michael permission to walk and talk, he still remained in the corner. He couldn't look at Hannah, afraid that he would break down into a million pieces, scared that the guilt would be too much for him and he would crack without a second thought. All of it was too much - he was struggling and all he wanted was his mum, his home and Hannah.

"Look at me, Michael," Hannah said softly, not moving from her chair.

It was the first time that Michael had heard Hannah's voice in over a week. It wasn't a long time, but it was long enough for the two of them. When things were normal, and they were on the outside, enjoying their life, they struggled to spend a day apart and if they had no choice but to not see each other, they would constantly be talking to each other over the telephone.

"Please," Hannah whispered, her voice not strong enough to vocalise any louder. She was heartbroken at the sight in front of her and she didn't know what to do. Her own fiancé couldn't even look at her in the eyes because he was that afraid of ruining everything all over again. "I love you, I do."

That was enough for Michael. Maybe all he needed was reassurance about everything, to know that Hannah still loved him. With his nerves in tatters, Michael slowly turned around and when his eyes landed on Hannah, he almost sobbed. He kept composed though, somehow, as he walked over to the woman that he loved.

Hannah stood up immediately and wrapped her arms around Michael's waist, being careful to not hurt him or disturb any of the injuries that had been made on his body. His arms wrapped around her shoulders, his fingers slowly wandering through her hair. It was the simple things that he had missed, like how soft her hair was, and the smell of her perfume - one that he had brought back from a trip away, Hannah promised to wear it every day and she had stuck to that promise, to the point that Michael spent a whole day looking for the exact perfume after Hannah had run out.

"I've missed you so fucking much, so much," he mumbled into Hannah's hair. He had been worried about this visit since he had found it was going to happen, terrified that Hannah would no longer love him but with her in his arms, he felt at ease with everything. If he did end up dead, he would die happy knowing that Hannah had stuck by him until the end.

After a few moments, the two of them pulled away from each other and took in each other's faces. For all they knew, it could be the last time they ever saw each other.

Slowly, Hannah reached her hand up and stroked underneath one of the open wounds on his face, her heart dropping at the sight. With a quick smile though, she pulled away and reached into the pocket of her cardigan and pulled out a small bottle.

"What's that?" Michael asked curiously.

"It's just a little something to help with these wounds. I figured that the guards wouldn't be looking after them, and I don't want them to become infected. Luckily, they didn't check me down very well. Here, sit on the table and I'll clean you up a little."

"Always the nurse, aye?" Michael joked as he moved over to the table, sitting himself comfortably as he prepared himself for the stinging. He was used to it now, after getting into a few bar fights and turning to Hannah for help when he needed cleaning up, one positive of having a nurse as a fiancée.

"Always. I had to steal this from the convent so I doubt the sisters will be happy if they found out."

"What did they say about the prison stint?" Michael asked.

"They've stripped me off my midwifery duties but I told them straight, stuck up for myself, at least I think I did. I'm not bothered at this particular moment, I just want to spend some time with you and talk about the happier times that we had together, when things weren't so bleak." Hannah smiled softly as she moved to stand in between Michael's legs. "Now, be brave."

"Always am."

A few hisses and curse words later, Hannah had cleaned Michael's wounds as best as she could. Placing her hand softly on his cheek, Michael leaned into Hannah's palm, the softness as a contrast to everything else in the prison. She was his safe haven.

"What are we going to do, Han?" the sad-eyed boy asked with a small pout on his face. "I can't lose you."

Hannah shook her hand and smiled slightly. "You won't. Tommy will sort it, he promised," she replied, her heart fluttering when Michael moved his head slightly to press a gentle kiss against Hannah's palm.

Michael moved one hand up and grabbed Hannah's hand, the one that was resting on his face, and linked his fingers around hers, admiring the engagement ring she still wore, and forever would.

"I have plans for us," Michael said, a giant smile coming onto his face as he thought about the future, and what would happen. "So many plans. It's going to be wonderful, happy, legal."

Hannah chuckled and wrapped her arms around Michael's neck, leaning up so she was face-to-face with him.

"The Shelby family and legal do not go together."

"Hannah, I'm being serious. I want us to have a proper life, away from Small Heath, heck, away from Birmingham. I never want to be in the West Midlands again. Could go up north, or down south. Fuck it, let's go to America."

"America?" Hannah raised one eyebrow at Michael's ambitious dreams, although she did secretly like the sound of it.

"Yeah. Grace used to always go on about New York. Think about how good it would be, just me and you." Michael looked down at Hannah's stomach, smiling softly. "And our children."

"Children?"

"Yes, children. I've already chosen out the names," he replied smugly, a grin on his face. "I've had the past week to think about everything, think about us and it's what I want, more than anything. I fucking love you, more than I have ever loved anybody else - "

"Michael - "

"No, let me get this out, please. I might never get the chance to say this again."

Hannah nodded, allowing Michael to have his peace. He needed to get things off his chest and she was more than willing to listen.

"I remember the day I met you, clearer than anything. Fuck, I knew then that you were something special. Don't ask me how, just did. The way you smiled and talked, your pathetic attempts at lying, how beautiful you looked even though you'd just come back from a delivery. I couldn't stop thinking about you, woke up every day and prayed that I'd bump into you and when we saw each other again, it was like everything made sense. I know it sounds daft, and it probably is, but I just new, Hannah, I truly did. The more that I got to know you, the more I feel in love. I mean, you're funny, intelligent, beautiful and you understand me. Despite all the stuff that I do and despite me ruining everything and being a complete and fucking idiot, you're still here. I've never had that before, you know? My whole life was a lie before I came to Birmingham and even since I came here, I've felt like an outsider. I never truly fit in, I don't know if I ever will, don't know if I will have a chance. You made me feel special though, every single time I was with you. I just don't know how I got so lucky, I really don't."

Hannah stared up at Michael, tears dripping down her face. She didn't even know how to react, she was just heartbroken at the thought of losing him. She could cope with losing her midwifery duties, but she couldn't cope with losing Michael. She'd miss everything about him, from the way he made her a cup of tea in the morning, or the fact he always made her late for work because he couldn't keep his hands off her. She'd miss going back to his after a long shift and chilling in bed with him, the romantic dinners that he would always try to cook for her. The late-night cuddles in the office as Michael worked on the numbers, the car journeys that ended up with them being hours away from home but they didn't care, because they were in each other's company. She'd miss everything about him, even the drama and the lies and crimes. She would sacrifice everything to have him back.

"I can't die, I'm too young," Michael said, his anger becoming clear. "Me and you have only just started pretty much, we didn't even get married. I thought we was going to die when we were old."

"You are not going to die; do you understand me? I won't allow it to happen, love, okay? I'll make Tommy's bloody life a misery if any more harm comes your way because you don't deserve it, you really don't."

"I do, don't I? I've made your life a misery, dragged you into so much shit - "

"I don't fucking care, I never have and I never will. I would do it all over again Michael because despite the negatives, I've loved every single second that I have spent with you."

Finally, breaking down, Michael rested his head on Hannah's shoulder as he sobbed quietly into her clothing. They stayed in that place for roughly five minutes with Hannah whispering sweet nothings and messing around with his brown locks, something that used to bring him comfort when he couldn't sleep at night.

Finally, Hannah spoke up, "I've been here a while now and you haven't even kissed me."

Michael raised his head, the hint of a small smile on his face as he wiped his face. "I haven't, have I?" He placed his hands on Hannah's waist and slightly moved her back so he could jump off the table, ignoring the pain that was not becoming any better, before moving her backwards towards the wall. "I'm sorry for being a mess and crying."

"It's good to cry," Hannah told him, not wanting him to feel ashamed for expressing his feelings. "And it's good to kiss your fiancée."

Michael and Hannah had shared some many kisses throughout their time together; raunchy kisses, soft kisses, playful kisses but nothing like this. It was what they believed to be their last kiss. Possibly the last time that the two of them would ever touch each other in an intimate way, possibly the last time either of them felt safe.

"I love you," Michael said breathlessly as he pulled away for a quick moment, just to glance at Hannah and take her in. He was pulled back soon enough, Hannah showing her love through intimacy. "Promise me something, Han," Michael paused the kiss again, only to go back in for another peck before pulling away completely.

"Okay," Hannah said with confusion.

"Say the worst thing does happen - "

"It might not," she interrupted.

"Say it does though, promise me that you will be happy." It was almost a whisper, as if he didn't want to think about Hannah being happy with someone else, doing things with her future husband that Michael should have been doing with her but despite his feelings, he knew that Hannah deserved to be happy. Out of everyone that he knew, she deserved it the most.

Hannah looked down at the floor before shaking her head. "I can't promise you that, Michael."

"Okay. Well, promise me that you won't think of all the negative stuff that happened. Like, when you think of me, don't think of Father Hughes or Tommy, or when you've seen me covered in the blood of another man. Just think about that holiday that we took together, and the nights in the garrison, just the happier times, yeah?"

"I promise."

"And if I do come out of here alive, will you be waiting for me?"

"You already know the answer to that."

The guards came banging on the door soon after their last conversation, the rest of the time they had together was spent with no talking, just the two of them enjoying each other's company with kisses and touches.

It was perfect, but it was also the worst choice that Hannah had ever made.

+++

Nobody said anything as Hannah walked through the convent, made herself a cup of tea and went up to her room. They didn't know what to say, or where to start. It was Alexandra who spoke about it first when she brought Hannah some toast upstairs, hoping to get Hannah to eat something.

"How did it go?" Alexandra asked carefully, not wanting to upset Hannah too much.

Hannah sat up in bed and rubbed away the tears. Alexandra noticed, but said nothing.

"There's a part of me that regrets it."

Alexandra furrowed her eyebrows in confusion. "Why do you regret it? It's given you some closure, hasn't it?"

Hannah shook her head. "It's just made it harder. I don't want him to die, and I don't want him to leave me. It's horrible, just looking at him. He doesn't deserve it, Alexandra. It was lovely, it really was. Just being able to talk to him and tell him that I love him but how can I let him go after all that?"

Alexandra moved the tray and leaned over to embrace Hannah. She didn't know what to do, other than comfort her best friend and try to get her through this awful time. Michael wasn't a good person, but he wasn't evil like Sister Maria and others tried to make out. Alexandra knew this and she knew that Michael had his demons and even though she wasn't his biggest fan, she could see how happy he made Hannah and it broke her to know that she could do nothing to help the pair.

"It will get easier with time. I know it doesn't seem like it, but it will. You're strong, Hannah, the strongest woman that I know and if anybody can get through this, it's you." Alexandra wiped away a few of Hannah's tears and gave her a kiss on the forehead. "And like you said, things might not go that far."

"Even if he comes out alive, he will be a broken man and I don't know how to fix him."


	34. judgement day.

[Before we start, I just want to say that I think all the timelines go a bit of the window at this point so we are going to pretend that they went to prison in like May and they came home early December? Also, John will not fucking die. It is not happening, not at all. Never will in anything that i ever write, i refuse to do it and i refuse to believe that he is dead. And in my mind, John is just on a very long holiday with Esme]

Every time Hannah got a spare moment, she would be on the telephone to Tommy or down by Watery Lane, asking him about what was happening with the prison situation. There was never any progression, which was no surprise to Hannah, with Tommy claiming that he was working on it or that something had come up that had side-tracked him from sorting the mess out. Hannah often wondered what could be more important than getting his family out of jail, but then she realised that this was Tommy Shelby and the man couldn't care less about anything.

Linda had successfully given birth to hers and Arthur's baby, possibly the only positive thing to have happened over the few months that had occurred. Hannah had been able to assist at the birth, under Sister Maria's watchful eye. It felt good to be able to wear the uniform again and hold a new-born in her arms, felt like a part of her was slowly coming back. Of course, it didn't last long and she was soon put back to doing voluntary work at the hospital. Not that Hannah minded, it was usually so busy, especially on the weekends, that it kept Hannah from thinking about Michael for a few hours. It was also something that she loved to do, so that brought her slight happiness and reminded herself of what she used to be before Father Hughes came onto the scene.

"Another returned letter for you, Hannah," Betty said lightly as she handed Hannah the letter that had a bright red stamp on it.

Seen as Tommy wasn't doing much to bring his family home, Hannah had decided to try. She wasn't much of an argumentative person, and she struggled to get her points across in the letters that she sent to the local council and the courts, but she did her best and spoke with honesty and truth about every member of the Shelby family. She didn't tell them about what Father Hughes had done, but she hinted at the fact that he was a terrible person with no morals or self-respect and that Michael had acted out of self-defence. It wasn't true, of course, Michael had entered that building fully wanting to murder the Father, but it was also for closure, even if it wasn't the best way to go about it.

Unsurprisingly, Hannah had every letter returned to her. The courts and local government figures not wanting to know, or associate themselves, with the Shelby's. It didn't stop Hannah from sending the letters though, every letter returned was just another letter sent and she wasn't going to give up until all four members of the family were walking the streets of Birmingham again. Arthur deserved to know his child, John had children who were waiting for him at home, constantly asking Esme where their father was and Polly needed peace after the dreadful couple of years, she had woefully endured. Hannah just needed Michael to be home, she needed to know that he was safe and well.

Hannah's main issue was that didn't know who to speak too. She didn't hold the power that Tommy did and she didn't have the contacts that Tommy had. The sisters could possibly have been some help but they would never involve themselves. To them, the family were exactly where they belonged.

As Hannah walked through the market, collecting some vegetables for dinner, she spotted the infamous Shelby walking along the cobbled street with his cap down low and a cigarette sitting in his mouth. It was very rare that Tommy showed his face around the streets of Small Heath, preferring to stay in London or at his stately home but every now and again, he would visit back to check on how the business was doing. Hannah would also spot him hanging around the convent, more than likely to check up on her to make sure that she wasn't going off the rails.

"Have you sorted it yet?" Hannah asked as she jogged up alongside him. The basket, which held broccoli and potatoes, was held in one arm as she looked up at Tommy, desperate for a positive reply that would make her day brighten up.

There was a sigh from Tommy as he shook his head, exhausted with Hannah's constant pestering. He understood, and completely sympathised with her but things weren't as simple as Hannah wanted to believe. To Tommy, the girl had too much faith in him. Everyone knew that Tommy held the key to getting his family released from prison, he was just struggling to turn it.

"For the fifth time this week, no. I'm sorry, I really am, but I'm trying my hardest."

"It doesn't seem like you are Tommy," Hannah replied candidly. "It sounds as if you have given up before you've even started and I don't like that at all. My fiancé is stuck inside of those four walls and I want him out soon."

Tommy closed his eyes, trying to be patient with the testing midwife. When he slowly reopened them again, Hannah was stood directly in front of him and was blocking his pathway. When Tommy moved to the left, so did Hannah, she wasn't going to let him get away with this one.

"I know that you've been in contact with Churchill in the past, can you not write to him? Alternatively, give me some details and I will do it." There was too much hope in her voice.

"Hannah - "

"Or go and talk to some of your higher up contacts, surely one of them must have some connection to the law system. The sooner we get them released, the better. We are running out of time and judgement day is coming."

"Hannah - " Tommy tried again, but was interrupted by Hannah who was doing everything she could to get Tommy to listen. She would've stood there for hours, coming up with different ways that Tommy could sort out the giant mess that had happened.

"They've been in there for months now, the police and courts won't hold them for much longer. Crime is happening every single day in Birmingham and they'll need the space. We all know who the first four people to leave will be, and they won't be leaving to the outside word. No, they'll be heading straight for the rope."

"Hannah, for the last time, I am working on it. Michael will be out soon, okay?" Tommy raised one eyebrow and gently moved Hannah out of the way before continuing on with his walk to Watery Lane, ignoring the disappointed stares from residents who knew about Tommy's deception. They wouldn't dare say anything to him but they were all thinking the same thing. How could a man let his family rot away in jail?

+++

It was December the 4th when everyone came home.

Michael went straight over to the convent after being dropped off at home, still dressed in his clothes from prison, the feeling of the rope around his neck still noticeable in his mind, the same fear still there. His heart was beating a million miles per hour as he ran to the convent, unsure if Hannah would still be waiting for him or if she had moved on.

When the convent came into sight, Michael moved back for a while and had a few words with himself down the back of one of the alleyways that led to someone's house. Running a hand through his tousled curls, Michael took deep breaths and tried to focus on the positives - he was still alive, he was breathing fresh air and that he was about to see Hannah. It was what he had been dreaming about for months but now that it was here, he didn't know if he could go through with it.

It took him a good ten minutes to finally build up the strength to go knock on the tall, heavy doors of the convent. He quickly caught a glimpse of himself in the window, his face was still a little bruised up and there was a small cut besides his ear from one of the beatings. Luckily, the police had given up with their everyday taunting and beatings towards the end of the prison stint.

It was Alexandra that opened the door, her mouth falling open at the sight of Michael. Nobody had honestly believed that Michael would be returning home, even Hannah had given up a little. The fiery streak that Hannah had was slowly burning out, all of her time and energy going into doing hardly anything but be sad and wait for Michael. Now that Michael was back, Alexandra hoped that the old Hannah would return.

"Well, this is a nice little Christmas gift for Hannah," Alexandra said with a wide smile.

"Where is she?" Michael asked, rather, quick and intensely. He was keen to get inside and see Hannah but he had to make sure that none of the sisters were knocking around, it would only lead to argument.

"She's currently in the bath - " Alexandra paused and opened the door wider, allowing Michael inside. "The nuns are currently at the mother house for a couple of days and will not be back until tomorrow night. I probably shouldn't be doing this, and I will get into a lot of trouble if anyone finds out that I've let you in. It's just me and the girls here, and everyone is currently on duty but me, and no one will be back until later tonight. So, you have the whole convent to yourself for the day. Just don't make any mess, aye?" Alexandra told him with a smile as she grabbed her coat. "Mine and Hannah's bedroom is straight up the stairs on the right, there's a blue ribbon around the door handle for some reason."

"Thank you for this. I promise that I won't say anything to anyone."

Alexandra smiled again, pleased to see Michael alive and well despite everything they had occurred. "It's not a problem. Also, I know you two haven't seen each other for a long time but please no sex in the convent."

Michael laughed and nodded his head. "I promise."

Alexandra left Michael alone to find his way to the bedroom. As he walked up the stairs, he could hear Hannah's soft voice as she sung 'moonlight bay', a song that her mother used to sing to her when she was younger. There was the sound of water crashing about in the tub, mixing in with Hannah's somewhat good singing, Michael felt at home as he leaned against the wall and listened to her, her voice the greatest melody that Michael had ever heard.

Michael made his way over to Hannah's bedroom, wanting to surprise her when she entered the room. Just as he was about to open the door, he took note of the blue ribbon and recognised it immediately. It was a blue ribbon with black stitching, the same ribbon that Michael had used to wrap up Hannah's first present from himself. It was a simple thing, but it made Michael happy. Just to know that Hannah had kept little things like that from their relationship, it also made him believe in his and Hannah's relationship - maybe there was still something there for them.

Feeling like a little child, Michael sat on the edge of Hannah's bed and waited patiently for her to come out of the bath. She always loved taking her time when it came to taking baths, wanting to enjoy every minute of peace and relaxation before they day ahead. Michael often joined her, the two of them laid in the water in complete silence as they allowed the warm water to take over their bodies, sending them into a calm state of mind and helping them to forget about the disasters that seemed to follow them around constantly.

"Alexandra, do you think that Dr Dring would mind me doing some work in his office?" Hannah shouted as she walked down the hallway, believing that Alexandra was located in their shared bedroom. "I mean, I need the money and it would give me something else to do other than just - "

Michael stood up instantly, unsure of what to do with himself. Hannah was stood in the doorway, a towel wrapped around her body, and her body still damp. There was a noticeable gulp as she looked Michael up and down, unsure if he was there or not. For all she knew, she could have been imagining it. She had spent so many nights awake, thinking and fantasying about Michael that she honestly thought he was there most of the time, holding her and protecting her.

"One minute," Hannah said as she held up her finger. Michael watched in confusion as Hannah walked out of the bedroom, closed the door, waited a few moments and then walked back in. "Okay, you really are here."

Michael nodded, "and I'm not going anywhere ever again, I promise."

Hannah didn't walk over to Michael, she was terrified that it was still part of her imagination. She had dreamt about this moment for months and months, desperate to touch and kiss him again but she was frightened. Michael sensed this and stayed back, waiting calmly for Hannah to make the first move. This was foreign territory for both of them, it was as if they had only just met for the first time.

"I have something to tell you, Michael," Hannah said warily, scared of what Michael's reaction would be. "I just want to get it out of the way now."

Michael's body froze in fear, petrified that Hannah had moved on and found somebody else. He didn't know what he would do if that was the case, he'd rather be dead than be without Hannah at this point.

"What is it?"

"I went and visited your parents, your real parents."

Michael furrowed his eyebrows in confusion, "why?" he asked, not understanding the point of Hannah visiting the village he had been trying to forget since he had arrived in Small Heath.

With a shrug, Hannah looked down at the ground. "I just wanted to feel close to you and being round here, it just made me think of the bad times. We spoke about when you was a child and how you broke your arm falling out of a tree and when you failed English class because you had a crush on one of the girls in the classes and I did get a little jealous about that but I'll let it slide because you was thirteen and when I was thirteen, I had a bit of a crush on this one boy in my Science but looking back on it, I don't know what I saw him in - " Hannah was cut off by Michael's laughing. "What's so funny?"

"I've just missed your rambling," he replied, taking one step closer. "I'm not angry that you went to see my parents but you didn't tell them what had happened, had you?"

"I didn't have too, they already knew. It was in the papers and they heard through a relative that lives this way. They only mentioned it once but I told them that I didn't come here to discuss that."

"Did they say anything else?"

"They said that they were happy that you had found a good woman despite your surroundings."

Michael took another step forward. "I'm happy that I found you too."

Hannah turned around and dropped her towel, sending Michael into a cloudy state of mind, it had been ages since he had been able to touch Hannah intimately. He didn't push it though, he wanted to wait for her to be ready. Hannah reached up and grabbed the dressing gown that was hanging from a hook on the door before putting it back on and turning around to face Michael. He had moved one step closer.

"I've missed you so much," Hannah whispered, not bothering to wipe away a tear that fell down her cheek.

"Sweetheart, come here." Michael opened his arms and Hannah was immediately there, wrapping her own arms around Michael's waist as she held onto him for dear life. She never wanted to let him go again. "I'm never leaving you again, never."

"Good, I don't think I'd cope."

They both stayed embraced in each other's arms for a while in complete silence. It took all of Michael's strength to remove himself from Hannah but once he had moved to bed and was sat comfortably, Hannah found her place on his lap and sat there quietly, enjoying the quietness and the warmth of Michael's body.

The inevitable question was looming, they both knew this. Michael was just waiting for Hannah to say it.

"What happened today, Michael?" Hannah asked before pressing a light kiss against Michael's neck, smiling at how he shivered under her touch. "You don't have to speak about it if you don't want to."

Michael clenched his jaw before nodding, he wanted to talk about it. "My cell door opened to a priest stood there, I knew what was coming. They led me down to this room which had three hanging ropes in. One for Arthur, one for John and one for me. My heart stopped, Han, I thought that was it. All I could think about was you - " Michael stopped himself for a moment as he tried to not to cry. He had done enough crying over the last God knows how many months. " - I pictured your face when you got the news that I'd been hung, about how you'd have to attend my funeral. Thought about how we would never get married and I'd never see you in a white dress or with a wedding band on your finger. I just saw our future that would never happen because of him, that fucking Father Hughes. When they put the rope around my neck, I just closed my eyes and tried to be at peace."

"How did you end up here then?"

"Tommy left it until the last minute, didn't he? Typical Thomas Shelby," Michael smiled down at his lap, almost in disbelief that he was still alive. "Something interesting to tell our grandchildren anyway."

"It's not funny, Michael," Hannah responded, her voice much more serious than Michael's. "I would've hurt Tommy if anything had happened to you."

"How would you have done that?"

"I don't know." Hannah shrugged as she tried to think of some ideas. "I'd slash his tyres with a knife, or I'd throw a brick through his window."

Michael laughed at Hannah's comment, amused by her innocence. "Really fucking missed you. Been a rough few months, aye? We got through it though."

"We always do, don't we?" Hannah beamed, nuzzling her head into Michael's neck as she took in the smell of his aftershave, something that he had quickly used when he had arrived back home. His plan was to have a bath and clean himself up before going to find Hannah but desperation got too much for Michael and he decided that those things could wait.

Since May, Michael had lived in silence to the point that he hated it. When he was stuck in the tiny cell, he would dream about The Garrison and how Saturday nights would go down. The sound of the loud melodies that went all the way into the backroom due to the drunken men singing loudly. Usually, Michael hated it, but he craved it more than anything when he was locked up. Silence had become a misery, a torture method and something that would take a while to get used to. He needed to hear noise, he needed to drink and he needed to party. The side of him that was destroyed was taking over but Michael didn't particularly care, he just wanted to enjoy his freedom.

"Shall we go to The Garrison tonight? John mentioned something on the way home about a welcome back party, I'm sure it's all been set up by now," he joked.

"I have to do a couple of hours at the hospital tonight, it's just filling in forms and updating patients' files so it won't take me too long. I can meet you at The Garrison at about ten?" she suggested to which Michael agreed. "The bathwater might still be warm. I think I have some of your clothes here so I'll sort that out." Moving off Michael's lap, Hannah stood up straight and held her hand out, inviting Michael to take hold of it. "It will be okay, Michael. I promise you."

+++

It had been a while since Michael had been in this situation.

He stopped taking drugs when Hannah came into his life, deciding that he didn't need them anymore to get by. If he ever needed to feel high; he would just go and be in Hannah's presence, she had an ability to let him up and make him feel better about himself.

However, times were desperate and Michael was slowly breaking down. He had made the wrong choice of drinking heavily before he had even reached the pub, believing that he needed to get drunk to make it through the night and the endless questions that were being asked. Everyone was curious to know about the Shelby's stint in prison.

Michael had genuinely believed that he would be okay when he entered The Garrison, he had drunk enough to get him buzzed but the nerves just simply got the better of him. Without Hannah by his side, he was a complete state. It was like he had completely forgotten how to chat and be normal, the words struggling to be released from his mouth when he spoke to old friends and work pals. He needed Hannah with him desperately, but she wasn't due to arrive for another hour so stupidly, he went straight over to Isaiah and brought an enough cocaine to last him the night, and that's how he ended up in the bathroom with the door closed, and the noise locked away for the time being.

It felt natural to Michael as he snorted the line, he had missed it. Hannah didn't even slip into his mind as he snapped his head back up, eyes wide and nose burning. There was a long, deep breath from Michael as he took some time to collect himself. He wanted to be high, needed to be high, but he didn't want to make it obvious, especially when Hannah arrived.

Staring at himself in the mirror, Michael felt like himself again. His peaky attire was finally on his body, the expensive material which felt like silk compared to the rough prison uniform was a blessing. The gun in his pocket held memories, mostly bad, but Michael was just glad that he had some sort of protection again. Hannah was bound to disagree with the gun but she knew what type of person Michael was and she wasn't going to stop him.

"Oi, Michael, your wife is here," Isaiah shouted over the loud voice, his fist banging against the wooden door.

In a panic, Michael wiped down the side which had little flecks of cocaine on it and shook himself off. Hannah had arrived early, of course, but Michael was ready to face the pub.

"Isaiah, we never got married, remember?" Michael chuckled, pushing his best friends arm away, which was leaning against the door frame and blocking him from leaving the bathroom. "She will be soon though," he continued as he walked down the hallway towards the door that led to the main room. "Keep some space in your diary, mate. I am going to need a best-man."

Poor Hannah was standing awkwardly by the bar as she waited for Michael. She did not want to enter the backroom, terrified that Tommy would be there and she did not want to see the man until she had fully calmed down and she knew that Michael was completely sound within his mind.

"So how is my precious fiancée?" Michael asked as he came up behind Hannah, his arms wrapping around her waist and his chin rested on her shoulder.

Hannah noticed the unusual tone his voice, he was happy, but also hyperactive. His words came out quicker than normal but she simply put it down to his drinking. She knew that he was going to get plastered and she did not blame him one bit, she would be right behind him.

"She is doing very well, how are you doing?" Hannah attempted to turn around but Michael kept her firmly in her place, pushing her further into the bar, holding her incredibly close.

"All the better know that you are here," he chirped, the widest smile on his face. With quick actions, he spun Hannah around, startling the poor woman for a moment. "Are you going to give us a kiss then or what?"

Hannah looked at Michael with concern. "Are you okay?" she questioned, not noticing the way Michael stiffened up at her question. He needed to do a better job at keeping his secret an actual secret. Hannah was not a fool.

"I'm just thrilled to see you," gushed Michael, his cheeks turning red from the mixture of booze, cocaine and the amount of people who were pouring into the pub. "Now, do I get that kiss or not?"

With a giggle, Hannah leaned up and wrapped her arms around Michael's neck, dragging him into her as she pressed her lips against his. It was only meant to be a quick, romantic kiss until the two of them got some time alone but Michael had other ideas. The mixture of missing Hannah and the cocaine was making Michael be more hands on than what he would normally be in public. His hands were trailing across her body, his tongue pressing against Hannah's and even though she loved every moment of it, and wanted it to carry on, she had to remember that her patients visited The Garrison and she didn't want to come across as being unprofessional, despite it being her free time. There would be some blabbermouth that would go back and tell the Sister's at the convent that one of their workers was being borderline sexual in the middle of a crowded pub.

"I might just take you home," Michael whispered in Hannah's ear as he placed a kiss on her neck. "Or round the back for a quick one." Another kiss on the neck. "Just been way too long and my hand doesn't compare to the way you feel - "

"Alright, that's enough," Hannah said, cutting him off before he could say anymore. "Tomorrow, okay? You've had way too much to drink tonight."

With a pout, Michael reluctantly agreed. If it was up to him, he would've taken Hannah there and then but he wanted to respect her wishes. Luckily, she hadn't caught onto the fact that he was as high as a kite.

"I'll buy you a drink instead then, my love."


	35. hangovers and a proposal.

There was something special about the Shelby family. No-one quite new what it was exactly, but there was something about them. Despite all of the stuff that life (and Tommy Shelby) threw at them, they always came back bigger and better. Nothing could knock them down for too long, and if it did, then they kept it to themselves and dealt with it privately. No-one needed to know about their struggles, it would only show weakness and the Shelby brothers, extended family and employees were not about to put that type of emotion of display to the world. It would only make them a target to current, and future, enemies.

Tommy had made no effort to come and see his family after having them released from prison. Esme had been told by Lizzie that he was down in London and would not be back home until Christmas Eve, giving everyone a chance to cool off and see if they could find forgiveness. Just by looking at John and Arthur, Hannah could tell that they had forgiven Tommy, the two of them not being able to stay mad at their brother. It was understandable, they had been through a lot together and they were a lot more forgiving when it came to Tommy and the stunts that he had pulled. They didn't look at the negatives, they just focused on the fact that Tommy had got him released from prison, even if he was the one that put them there in the first place. Michael didn't know how to feel about Tommy - he resented him for ruining his wedding day and keeping him away from Hannah but he was thankful that he had got him out. It was a tricky situation for him to be in. Michael looked up to Tommy for some odd reason and even though it would be hard to forgive him, he would do eventually.

The women, on the other hand, were a completely different story. Throughout Linda's birth, she had expressed her hatred for Tommy but that wasn't a surprise, there had always been tension between the two of them. Esme had once seen a bit of herself in Tommy, believing that the two of them were more alike than they believed but those feelings were gone. Hannah could remember going around to Esme's when the boys were in prison to help her out and she could see how Tommy's actions had affected her and the kids. There were bags around her eyes, the house was messy and the kids were missing their father. Polly didn't even mention Tommy's name once - the only time she would forgive him was if it was completely necessary.

Hannah was sat in the backroom, along with the Shelby's and a couple of trusted employees, but her mind was somewhere else. She couldn't help but notice Michael's disappearing acts that occurred every hour, him claiming that he needed the toilet. She knew that something deeper was going on but she wasn't going to start an argument, especially on Michael's first night of freedom.

If it was something awful, then she hoped that Michael would come and tell her. Hannah believed that Michael struggled to lie to her, they had made a promise to tell each other everything so a part of her wanted to believe that nothing shady was going on but she knew deep down that something was. A part of her didn't want to know because she didn't want it to affect their relationship.

"How has life been without us then, Hannah?" Arthur asked as he downed his drink, ignoring the disapproving stare from Linda who was already dreading taking Arthur home. He was more drunk than Michael and that was saying something.

"Very boring," she replied, taking a sip of her own drink in the process. "But also very quiet."

Arthur chuckled and pointed straight over at Hannah. "Admit it, you've missed us."

Hannah chuckled and nodded her head. She had missed everything about the Shelby's, even if they had caused a whole lot of hassle. Michael was the one person she had missed the most out of everybody, of course, and as much as she loved being around all of the brothers, she couldn't wait to be alone with him again. It wasn't even about the sex, it was more the intimacy of just being with him. They could spend quality time together like they used to do, tucked up in bed or down at the cinema watching some film that wasn't even that good. It was just the time spent together that she wanted to catch up on and it was what she had missed the most.

Hannah's mood had gone up by about a hundred though since Michael had returned home. She hoped that this would be the making of her and Michael and that they could move past it all and become bigger and better. They were a strong couple with ambition and the potential to go for in life, they just needed to make sure that nobody ruined it.

At the start of their relationship, the nuns had been Hannah's main worry but she was at that stage where she didn't care about their disapproving ways anymore. Both Sister's meant a lot to Hannah, they had been the first two people that she had met when she had arrived in Small Heath and they had provided her with a home and a job. They had even tried to do their best after the prison stint but their judgement and beliefs got in the way of feelings towards Michael. Hannah just hoped that she would one day be able to make them see the Michael that she saw.

Without causing too much disruption, Hannah weaved her way through the tables, chairs and bodies in the backroom and made her way out to the main area. There were a few men doing some Irish dancing, a group of young women who were experiencing The Garrison for the first time and a man in the corner of the room who seemed angry about something that had occurred. Hannah scanned the whole room to search for Michael but he was nowhere to be seen.

"Where's Michael?" Hannah asked Finn, who was stood at the bar collecting some drinks for his brothers and Polly.

Finn turned around and handed Hannah a clear liquid, presumably vodka before nodding towards the toilets. "I saw him go in there about ten minutes ago with Isaiah."

"Did he look okay?"

"I mean, he was grinning so I'm guessing he's fine. Why? Has something happened?" queried Finn, curiosity and confusion in his voice as he asked the question.

Hannah shrugged her shoulders. "Not that I know off but it's hard to tell with him tonight. Michael has been all over the place and his mood has been going up and down. I'm going out for a cigarette so when Michael comes out, will you just let him know where I am?"

"Of course, I will." Finn paused as he watched Hannah down the shot of Vodka before continuing on. "And Hannah, he will be okay."

With a soft smile, Hannah handed the empty glass back to Finn and nodded her head, agreeing with what he was saying. It would be okay - at least that's what she kept telling herself.

The cold December wind hit Hannah sharply as she stepped outside, saying hello to a few locals as they entered. It was gone midnight at this point but there were no stars noticeable in the sky. The thick, polluted fog of Birmingham left Hannah with no choice but to picture the stars in her head and imagine how beautiful the sky would be. It also took her memories back to when her and Michael went on holiday to the countryside. It had only been a short break but she could remember laying down on the grass and stargazing with Michael, the two of them silent as they looked up at the sky. It was cheesy but romantic and it was there that she realised how much she truly did love Michael. It was no longer young love, it was proper and it scared her a little bit.

"What are you staring at?" A voice behind her asked, an instantly recognisable voice. The door on The Garrison slammed shut as Michael stepped out with a wobble. "And I thought you was having a smoke."

Hannah brought herself back to reality and looked back at Michael who was rummaging through his pockets in an attempt to find some matches. Hannah watched him for a moment with amusement before reaching into her own pocket and handing them over to him.

"I just got distracted, that's all. I started to think about that holiday that we went on." Hannah grabbed the cigarette that Michael had successfully lit from his mouth and placed it into her own, ignoring Michael's mumbling as he moaned to himself about having to light another one. "We should go on holiday again and take some time for ourselves. I'll be able to get a few days off at the hospital and you have every bloody right to take a break."

"Whatever you want, you will have," Michael replied as he walked to stand besides Hannah, one hand in his pocket. "We could go after Christmas if you'd like."

Hannah did like the sound of that. "Yeah, it sounds good. We could go to a city this time, I know that you aren't too fond of the countryside."

"I'm fond of it when you are there with me."

"A visit might need to be made then." Hannah turned her body to the side and looked at Michael with a smile. She was content when she was with him, he provided her with feelings that she had never felt before. "Are you happy to be back?"

"Of course, I am. What makes you say that?"

Hannah shrugged as she took a long drag on the cigarette. "I just feel as if you are sad, which is understandable, but I feel like you don't want to be around me."

Michael lifted an eyebrow in confusion as he looked down at Hannah. "What are you going on about, you daftie? Of course, I want to be around you."

"Then why do you keep walking away with Isaiah? Don't think I haven't noticed because I have and I don't want to cause an argument but it's bugging me."

"Nothing is going on," Michael lied, the fakest smile on his face possible as he flicked his cigarette onto the floor. "Isaiah just wants to catch up in private, that's it. You've done nothing wrong."

Hannah looked down at the ground in embarrassment, why did she always presume that something suspicious was going on?

"I'm sorry, I was just worried that you didn't want to be around me."

Michael smirked as he leaned down so he was face-to-face with Hannah, his face inches from hers. "That's impossible, darling."

+++

The rest of the night went with a blur. The bar was empty by the time 5 o'clock rolled around and everybody decided that it was time to go, the tiredness getting too much for some of the residents. Everybody was in a cheerful mood, smiles all around and singing. Stolen kisses were shared between Hannah and Michael when folk were invested in conversation, the two of them often sneaking out to have some time alone together before returning back to the backroom with swollen lips - which made them the butt of the joke for the night. Not that either of them minded, they just waved the jokes off and carried on with their PDA.

"Michael, your house is this way," Hannah shouted as she watched Michael walk towards a different street.

Michael looked back at Hannah and squinted his eyes towards her. "I don't think it is, Hannah."

"Michael, you don't live down there, I promise you. Now, come here, and I will show you the way."

Tutting, Michael stroppily made his way over to Hannah and took hold of her hand. "You coming back to mine then?" he asked as he brought Hannah's hand up to his mouth and pressed a gentle kiss to the skin.

"Of course," she responded, leaning into his body to try and get some warmth. "Is that a problem?"

"Not at all, my love. However, I don't think the nuns would approve of us sharing a bed, do you?" 

"That's a good point. If we were married, I don't think they would care that much." Hannah paused and started to giggle. "Actually, they would but that's beside the point."

"Do you still want to get married then?" Michael asked slowly.

"Ask me the question again and I will give you my answer."

Pulling away from Hannah's grip, Michael paused for a second as he took a deep breath before dropping to one knee with a thud, the booze and cocaine making him feel more confident. There was still nerves there - for all he knew, Hannah could be completely having him on but deep down, he knew that she would yes.

"Hannah Anderson, will you please marry me? I don't know, maybe this time we will actually make it to the aisle without something going wrong."

Hannah did an awful thing and waited a few moments to give her answer, she wanted to make him wait. Of course, the answer was a yes, she wouldn't have it any other way. Just the thought of being married or with another man made her feel sick, she didn't want anybody else and she was positive that she never would. Nothing could ever make her go with another man and she hoped that Michael felt the same way.

"Of course, I will, you big dope," Hannah said with a grin.

There was a relived sigh from Michael as he stood back up, ignoring the pain in his knee, and brought Hannah in for a drunken kiss. One of his hands wrapped around her fallen hair, bringing her closer into his body so she could be close to him. Just the smell of his aftershave, the slight stubble on his face and the way his clothes felt against her uniform made her feel safe and warm. She was stood in the middle of a dark street, with one of the most dangerous men in Birmingham yet she didn't feel at harm, or like anything bad was going to happen. She felt more relaxed and safer in Michael's arms than she did at the convent, a holy place. It said a lot about Hannah as a person and how she had changed over the time of knowing Michael. She had started out as a good girl who did nothing wrong, to helping to cover up a murder, to lying to some of her closest friends and being arrested. Yet, she didn't seem to mind at all. She would be willing to do anything for Michael, and that was terrifying to her, but she loved him dearly and would walk to the end of the earth and back for him.

"Give me about another year, yeah?"

"For what?" Hannah asked.

"To become completely legal. Let me move up in the business and earn enough money to supply us with a future where we will never need to worry," he explained, the words coming out in a ramble but Hannah understood everything and she was willing to wait. "We will get your midwifery duties back as well, sort things out properly with the nuns and when it's peaceful here, and everyone is sorted, we will move away, okay?"

Hannah knew that they would never be completely away from Birmingham. What had happened over the last year would constantly be with them but anything seemed better than being stuck in the same area for the rest of their lives. Hannah had grown to love Birmingham, in her own little way. The residents there was lovely and she had enjoyed interacting with all of the mothers when she did her daily visits. It had grown to be a part of her - even the drama, the wrong'uns and the smell.

"I like that idea," she replied quietly, her forehead pressing against the top of Michael's chest. "One condition, though?"

"What's that?"

"I get to decorate the house."

+++

The next morning was a rough one.

It was gone midday when both Michael and Hannah opened their eyes, ignoring the afternoon sun as it blasted through the windows and onto the bed. Hannah raised her head slightly before groaning and falling back down into the soft sheets.

"I shouldn't have done that."

"Are you going to be sick?" Michael asked, backing away slightly. "Because if you are then please go to the toilet. My mum did these sheets yesterday and she will be very upset if you ruin them."

Hannah shook her head. "I'm not going to be sick, don't worry. I just have the worst headache known to man and I am blaming you for it."

"Me?" Michael laughed as he sat up. His own head was killing him but it wasn't from the alcohol, it was from the cocaine. His whole body felt as if it had been hit by a train - a runny nose, his body was aching and he was just generally feeling run down. It's not as if he had anymore cocaine to take due to snorting it all the night before and even if he did, he would not dare take it when he was sober. At least when he was drunk, he could pass it off as being drunk. "It gives us an excuse to stay in bed all day and do absolutely nothing but fuck."

Hannah giggled as Michael rolled over so he was on top of her body, his mouth pressing kisses against her neck. "Let's get washed up first, aye? I stink of booze and so do you."

"Good idea. Go downstairs and boil the kettle and I will go and sort the bath out."

With a quick kiss to the cheek, Michael rolled off Hannah and popped along to the bathroom to set everything up. Hannah laid in bed for another minute before forcing herself to get out, even though it pained her to do so. She just had to keep reminding herself that she would be back in that bed soon.

The only thing that Hannah was wearing was a button-up shirt which covered her, but not much, so it was a surprise when she saw Polly sat at the dinner table with a steaming cup of tea. Polly side-eyed Hannah and with a smirk as she shook her head.

"Sorry, I didn't know that you were down here," Hannah said as she awkwardly shuffled over to where the cups were held.

"How are you doing, love?" Polly asked as she continued to read the newspaper. "Bet you are hungover."

"Oh, I am but it's nothing. How are you?"

Polly turned around in her chair and smiled proudly at Hannah, as if she had done something incredible. Hannah stood there awkwardly and waited for Polly to start speaking.

"I went to the shop this morning to collect some stuff, everything was out-of-date, and I bumped into Sister Margaret. She told me about everything that you did."

Hannah tilted her head to the side and looked at Polly with a puzzled expression. "What have I done?"

"The letters to the council and government," Polly said, hoping to recollect Hannah's memory. Hannah sighed in embarrassment, she had hoped that no-one outside of the convent would find out about the letters. It just made Hannah look like an idiot because she didn't succeed in getting them all out. "I just wanted to say thank you for making an effort and trying your hardest. It's more than what most people did so I am and forever will be grateful for that."

With a sense of relief, Hannah simply nodded her head. She didn't know what to say to Polly, which thankfully Polly understood because she soon turned around and continued to read the newspaper. Hannah was just happy to know that she didn't look like a complete and utter fool and even though she hadn't been successful, she had won a little bit more of Polly's trust and love - that meant more to her.

"And thank you for being there when Linda delivered the baby. Just thank you for everything that you have done and that includes loving my boy."

"Always."

Hannah grabbed the two cups of teas before heading back upstairs. Michael was sat on the bed, desperately craving the hot beverage that he hoped would settle his stomach.

"Your mum sounds like she's doing okay which is good," Hannah said as she placed the drinks down. With her hands-on Michael's shoulders, she moved so she was stood in between his thighs and was looking down at him with a smile. "I think that everyone is doing better than what we thought."

Michael scoffed before shaking his head. "I know my mum and she's putting up a front, it won't be long before she breaks down but I'll be there to support her. We all know that Polly is a strong one anyway, nothing can keep her down for long."

"That's true. I just hope that gets the help that she needs if she does ever feel alone."

"We have you, and that's enough. You saved me, you know?"

"I didn't do anything, Michael but thank you."

"You kept me going in there, kept me alive. I had a reason to live and that reason was you so yes, you did save me."

Michael's voice was quiet as he spoke, afraid that he sounded like a complete and utter idiot. It was very rare that he spoke about his feelings and if he did, then he only spoke about it to Hannah. She understood and she would not judge like others did.

"I'm glad because I don't know what I would do if you weren't in my life."

Hannah still couldn't quite believe that Michael was sat in front of her, alive and well - apart from the few cuts and bruises that were scattered across his face. They would heal in time, unlike the memories that he held in his mind, it would take time for them to go away but Hannah was willing to work with him and support him. No matter what happened, she would be right by his side.

"I love you," Michael said, his hands trialling up Hannah's thighs and below the white button-up shirt. "I love you," he whispered as he pressed a kiss against the smooth skin on Hannah's thigh. "I love you so much."

Hannah placed her hands in Michael's hair, running her fingers through the brown locks. "I love you too but the bath will be getting cold."


	36. private times. (smut)

Intimacy was something that Hannah valued a lot. She had come to the conclusion that it was the one time that she felt completely and utterly loved, safe and content with life. The feeling of Michael's fingers as he trailed them across her stomach, the way that his hair ticked the inside of her thighs as he did the most explicit of acts and the way that his hot breath felt across her neck as he moved his hips at a pace that had her moaning and crying out for him. The most wonderful of sounds that blessed his ears.

"Go faster, Michael, please," Hannah muttered, her eyes squeezing shut as she grabbed hold of his shoulders, her perfectly shaped nails digging into the skin which only egged Michael on. "I need to feel all of you, every inch."

Michael moved his hand down to push Hannah's legs further apart, giving him more access and a chance to give Hannah exactly what she wanted and what she had been craving. Michael could feel himself slowly weakening, it had been so long since he had been in this position with Hannah, and it was almost like he forgot what he was doing. There was a side of him that felt like this was their first time all over again but the two of them connected well and it wasn't long before everything came flooding back to Michael and he knew exactly what to do when it came to making Hannah feel completely alive.

His hips were moving at a perfect speed, enough to make Hannah feel like she was in heaven but not too much to the point that their intimacy came to an end. Michael wanted to take his time, remember every moment and learn every inch of Hannah's body again. It was something that he had been fantasising during his time in prison, and there was no need to rush it, there would be plenty of time in their future to be sexually intimate.

Hannah felt intoxicated as she grabbed onto Michael's shoulders, not caring that she was likely to leave harsh marks that could lead to bleeding. She was already scattered in hickeys due to Michael getting very hands-on in the bath (which led to them leaving the water earlier than expected) so it was now her time to leave imprints on his skin.

Mouths were connected as Michael continued to move in and out of Hannah, his tongue moving along with hers in a perfect dance that the two of them had missed dearly. One of Michael's hands was running through Hannah's hair, tugging gently whenever a wave of pleasure ran through his body, sending his mind into a daze. The headboard was banging against the wall, they could only hope that Polly had left the house but they truly didn't care. It had been too long and they were desperate to be close to each other. It was flawless and everything that they had ever wanted. Their bodies fitted together perfectly, the two of them knowing exactly what to do from words to actions, they were complete.

"I'm close," Hannah mumbled against Michael's mouth, the words coming out in a heavy breath as she tilted her head back, Michael taking advantage and immediately putting his mouth onto the exposed skin.

"Come on then, doll."

Hannah jerked under Michael's body as she came around him, her hands pressing deeper into her shoulders as she allowed the pleasure to take hold of her. Hannah's whole body was on fire as she came properly for the first in months and Michael wasn't far behind, his thrusts becoming more desperate and harsher as he rode Hannah through her release and chased his own orgasm.

As the two of them came down, their bodies covered in sweet and their hearts finding it hard to calm down, they looked at each other with a grin on their faces. Michael's hair was sticking to his forehead, his mouth slightly open as he regained his breath, he looked like an angel. Her angel.

+++

It wasn't long before Tommy was on the phone to Michael, telling him that he needed to go over to one of the factories and check up on the employees. There were rumours of protests circulating the local area and they had gotten back Tommy who was still down in London hiding away. Tommy wasn't ready to come back yet but it wouldn't be long before he was dragged back up to Small Heath to deal with some shady dealing.

Hannah begged and pleaded with Michael to stay, claiming that she would do whatever he wanted, but Michael couldn't go against Tommy. Well, he could but he wouldn't. Michael was also selfishly using it as a reason to take more cocaine.

"I'll be back by six, I promise," Michael said as he leant down to kiss Hannah on the forehead. "Go over to the convent and grab some clean clothes and stuff, I'll take you out somewhere posh tonight."

Hannah sat up on her knees and readjusted Michael's tie for him, her knees pressing into the soft sheets that had been imported from some fancy city abroad "If you just wait fifteen minutes then I will walk with you."

"I need to go now," he replied. Hannah would only question why he was going to Isaiah's beforehand when he should really be going straight to the factory.

Moving her hands from Michael's chest, Hannah nodded her head. "Do you want to pick me up from here or the convent then?"

"Whatever suits you best."

Hannah decided on the convent, it would save her having to drag everything over to Michael's and it would also give her an opportunity to fill in all the nurses about the gossip.

"The convent," Hannah told him, to which Michael nodded his head in response before giving Hannah a quick kiss and leaving.

Falling back into bed, Hannah released a big sigh as she looked up at the ceiling. Everything was going perfect, so why on earth did she feel like this? It was as if a part of her knew that something terrible was going to happen, but she was ready for it, whenever it came.

+++

The nuns weren't due to arrive back into later into the evening but of course, they were there early, with their judgemental stares and meandering eyes. Hannah gracelessly tried to avoid eye contact with them, giving a speedy smile in their direction before heading straight up the stairs. It was on the landing that she heard her name get called and like a little child, Hannah walked down the stairs, almost with shame.

"Sister Maria and Sister Margaret, how was it at the mother house? Was the new mother superior selected?" Hannah asked, hoping it would release some of the tension that was blatantly obvious in the room.

Sister Margaret nodded, "yes, Sister Judith is now the new mother superior."

There was another uncomfortable silence as all free of them stood at the bottom of the stairs. It was Sister Maria that brought up Michael which wasn't surprising at all.

"We saw John Shelby when we were walking back from the train station, I'm guessing that they are all out and well," she said, her voice stern as always but there was something unusual, relief possibly. Relief that she would no longer have to put up with Hannah's constant sorrowful and isolated mood.

"Yeah, that is correct. All four of them got out yesterday morning so that's where I've been all night, just spending some time with Michael and making sure that he was okay after everything that had happened."

Sister Maria nodded her head slowly, taking in all of the information. "So, will you be over at Michael's tonight?"

"We are going out for the night so yes, I will be stopping over at Michael's, if that's okay? I'm not at the hospital for another few days so I won't be missing out on any work," said Hannah, informing them of her plans so they were completely in the loop. "I've also told them that I would work Christmas Day so I won't be here I'm afraid."

"Is Michael okay?" Sister Margaret asked with a bit more sympathy than Sister Maria had shown. "John looked well, had a smile on his face."

"From what I know, they are all doing well but only time will tell. Is there anything else that you need me for? It's just that I really need to get ready for my date tonight and I want to impress."

"No, nothing else. That's unless you have anything that you'd like to tell us."

Was it worth telling the Sister's about the engagement? They would find out eventually, and a part of Hannah wanted them to be at the ceremony. Hannah cared for them both deeply and a part of her would be devastated if they weren't there. During the time that Michael was in prison, the Sister's had proved themselves massively. Although they did not directly mention Michael, they continued to support and help Hannah in any way that they could. This included comforting her whenever she was sad or saying prayers. It was even simple things like making her a cup of tea before work or making Hannah's favourite dinner whenever it had been a tough and testing day. The Sister's just struggled to express their emotions, especially when it came to Michael.

"Michael and I got engaged again last night. I mean, the last time went disastrous so let's pray that this time is a success," Hannah joked, hoping it would soften the blow. Surprisingly, both Sisters smiled at the news.

"Let's hope it does," Sister Maria responded, her face softening. "Now, go and get ready or you will be late for your night out and you don't want to leave Michael waiting on the doorstep like you usually do."

Hannah ran up the stairs with a beam on her face, pleased that things had gone well and that the Sister's had decided not to kick off about the engagement. She knew that they would be completely for the idea eventually, it was just a matter of time and making sure that they full approved of Michael. Hannah had already thought of plans to make the Sisters like Michael, it was just trying to find the time to make these things happen. Especially now that Tommy wasn't around and was pretty much putting the business into Michael's hands. John and Arthur wouldn't be much use yet, they just wanted to spend some quality time with their families and Tommy didn't dare to ask Polly to do anything business-wise, he was absolutely terrified of her at this point.

As Hannah happily got ready, picking out her favourite dress and humming the tune of some song that she had heard down at the pub, Michael was having a disaster.

"Isaiah, please," Michael begged, his voice quiet in case anybody walked past the pair and figured out what they were talking about. "You sold me some last night, so why won't you know? My mum won't find out, I promise and I won't tell anybody that it was you who sold it me."

Isaiah shook his head, not wanting any involvement at all. "The only reason I sold it you last night were because I was completely and utterly bladdered. I wasn't thinking straight and neither was you so snap out of this fucking state you are in and get a grip. You don't do that anymore and I think you know how upset Hannah would be if she found out that half of your bloodstream at the moment was laced with cocaine."

Michael was growing more and more frustrated. He wasn't addicted, he just needed something to keep him going and cocaine seemed like the only answer at that moment in time.

"I will pay double," he offered as he reached into his pocket to grab as much money as he could. "Fuck, I'll pay you triple if you really want."

Isaiah remained adamant, eventually shutting the door in Michael's face to stop himself from selling the drugs. Isaiah did not want to be on the receiving end of Hannah's anger when she found out that Michael was taking drugs again but he also didn't want to be a snitch. Michael was a grown man and he would sort himself out eventually, at least that's what Isaiah hoped.

With Isaiah refusing to sell, Michael had no choice but to turn to one of the peaky employees. He came into luck though and managed to get his hands on a gram. It would be enough to last him, if he went steady. Michael couldn't guarantee what was in the cocaine and if it was pure. There was rumours that people had started to lace the drugs for profit but as Michael sniffed a decent line of the wooden table in one of the offices, he couldn't care less. All he wanted was to feel that sweet high again.

He had to remember why he was called into work though, and that was to keep an eye on the employees and make sure that everything was running smoothly. Tommy had hired an accountant while Michael had been away and Michael was more than willing to let him continue to do his job until Tommy was back home. It gave Michael less to do which meant that more time could be spent with Hannah.

"Owen, come here!" Michael shouted, wiping away the speckles of cocaine. "What's this about a walk-out?"

Owen, a respected and long-time employee of the Shelby's, simply shrugged his shoulders. "All I know is, there's some woman going around all the factories and she seems to have it in for them all. Equal pay, maybe? I couldn't tell you but I wouldn't worry about it, nobody is going anywhere."

"Is this the same women who led the protest last year down at the bull-ring?" Michael asked, vaguely remembering Hannah wanting to attend but being able to due to a mother going into labour.

"Yeah, that's her! Jessie Eden, I think she's called. Do you know her?"

Michael nodded his head. "Yes, and I've heard that she is trouble. Just inform me of any more discussions about walking out. We need you lot more than ever now."

Owen lowered his cap before walking out of the office, leaving Michael alone to look through some paperwork that Lizzie had left knocking around. It was silent for a good half an hour until the phone began to ring, signalling an end to Michael's peace and quiet.

"Michael, is that you?" Tommy asked.

"Yes, it is. I am at work, just like you told me to be," Michael responded with a roll of his eyes. "You took me away from Hannah, I hope you know that."

"Yeah, sorry about that but business is business and Hannah are going to have to wait. Did you find out any information about these walk-outs?"

"Yeah, nothing important though. It seems like most of the workers plan on staying so there's no need to worry. How's London?"

Tommy scoffed before speaking, "Better than Birmingham, I'll tell you that one. How is Aunt Pol? Is she doing well?"

"She will be fine, Tommy. I'm here to help her so that's all that matters. I think the most important question is, when are you coming back home? You can't expect me to hold up the fort every single day because I have things to do, a wedding to finally plan."

"Are you and Hannah still getting married then?" Tommy asked, thankful that their relationship had managed to survive. Tommy had a lot of respect for Hannah and was glad that she was part of the family, even if she did hate his guts.

"Yeah, if you don't mess it up again," Michael replied jokingly. "Seriously though, when are you coming home Tommy? You have to come back and face this mess one day and if I was you, I'd want to get it over and done with as soon as."

"I'll be back soon, I promise. Until then, I need you to keep an eye on things and make sure that everything is well business wise. Don't put all your focus on it though, I have people that can take some of the weight off your shoulders. Just make sure that you are spending enough time with Hannah and making up for everything that has happened."

"I will do, Tommy. If you see Ada then send her my love. How is Charlie after everything?"

"Blissfully unaware, thankfully. I have to go but I'll ring this phone at some point tomorrow if you will be in. I don't want to risk calling yours in case Polly picks up the phone." There was a pause from Tommy. "Look after Hannah, yeah?"

"Always."


	37. christmas prep.

No amount of negative words could ever stop Hannah from loving Michael with every beat of her heart. It would take something completely and utterly cruel, the worst crime in the world, to make her hate him. She almost thought that it was out of the question. If Michael had ever done anything wrong, big or small, all he would have to do was smile in Hannah's direction and she would immediately forgive him for his crime. It was scary but it was also reality. Hannah had allowed herself to fall this far for Michael so she could only blame herself. The opportunity to leave him had arisen many times at the start of their relationship but she knew what she wanted and she didn't give a single fuck about the consequences. Michael was the love of Hannah's life and that was a fact.

It was a week before Christmas, the panic season as Betty liked to call it. Alexandra had spent every moment of her free time down at the shopping centre in an attempt to find some perfect gifts for friends and family and the bedroom was currently in a state with Hannah walking around the small room collecting bits of wrapping paper and other decorations that Alexandra had left scattered everywhere. It wasn't just wrapping paper and ribbons though, there was tinsels and baubles from the mini Christmas tree that Alexandra had popped up in the corner of the room. It was lopsided and most of the fake pine had fallen off but Alexandra claimed that it was a bargain and with a bit of a makeover, it would be a perfect feature to the bedroom. Hannah just agreed and allowed Alexandra to carry on.

"I don't think you need to go so overboard with Christmas present's, you know," Hannah said as she picked up some wrapping paper off the floor and placed it into the bin. "Maybe just a small gift each would have been enough. I mean, what is Sister Maria going to do with a paint kit, she doesn't even paint."

Alexandra sighed as she failed to tie the ribbon on a present for the third time in a row before looking up at Hannah with exhausted eyes. "I just like giving out presents, it's fun and Sister Maria can take up a new hobby, can't she? Enough about me and my spending habits though, what are you getting Michael?"

"We said that we weren't going to get each other presents. I mean, I've hardly got any money because all I'm doing is voluntary work and him being home is the best present, I could have asked for. Do you think I should make him something homemade?"

"Like what?"

Hannah shrugged, she wasn't creative at all. "That's a good question. Maybe we will just go out for a nice dinner or something, we don't need to have expensive gifts."

Alexandra accepted the answer as she reached over to grab Betty's present. "Are you working all of Christmas Day?"

Hannah shook her head. "I'm working eight until one, and then I'm going to come back here and hopefully get some food before going around to Michael's. We will probably be at The Garrison if you lot fancy coming around for a quick drink."

Alexandra didn't like the idea of that. Her alcoholic tolerance was extremely low and it would only take a few drinks for her to be a complete mess and end up saying something that would insult one of the blinders or make an insensitive joke. "I think I'll stick with my cup of tea and some biscuits, I'll only end up making a fool of myself like I always do when I've got a couple of drinks in my system."

Hannah wasn't going to take no for an answer. Christmas Day was the one day that the nurses could take some time for themselves - that's if no one decided to go into labour. It was also an opportunity for all of the nurses to get to know Michael and the Shelby's better, without any judgment, just with fun times. Last Christmas at The Garrison had been lovely, all of the family, including Hannah, spending some quality time together that was filled with laughter, drinks and jokes. It was funny how so much could change within the space of a year.

"No, you are coming and you have to bring Sophie. I've heard that she has a bit of a crush on Isaiah," Hannah said quietly, in case any of the nuns walked past and overheard. "Has done for a while apparently. I knew there was something interesting going on when I first introduced them the other month, I could just tell."

Alexandra gasped before giggling, "Who told you that, Hannah? She told me that it was some massive secret and that no-one was to know. Was it Betty? I know she can't keep a secret but I genuinely thought she had kept this one."

"Remember when Sophie and Jodie went to that new bar that opened up down by Luxton Street in August? Well, Sophie had a bit too much to drink, I blame all that Gin that she had, and she ended up telling me when I was putting her to bed. I don't think she can remember telling me though so don't say anything. We can make it a massive surprise."

Alexandra bit her lip before smiling widely, on board with the idea of spending a couple of hours at The Garrison on Christmas night. "Well, it looks as if we have some match-making to do then, don't we? You and Michael have easy access to Isaiah so you should try to do some persuading and oh my god, Sophie can wear the dress that I brought her," Alexandra exclaimed, more excited about setting Sophie up than actual Christmas Day.

Hannah had missed being able to have fun with her friends like this instead of constantly worrying about what Michael was doing, if he was still alive, if the guards had beat him up anymore and whether Tommy had made a start on getting them released. Now that Michael was free, Hannah felt as if the weight of the world had been lifted off her shoulders and she could go back to being her normal self. Everything had become perfect and she valued that greatly, she didn't want to experience another moment of misery.

+++

Hannah and Michael drove in silence up to the factories, the two of them content with just being in each other's company. Hannah had left Alexandra alone to finish wrapping presents but not before making her swear that she wouldn't mention anything to Sophie about Christmas Day.

"You know Sophie, don't you?" Hannah asked Michael who was looking ahead at the road.

Michael quickly glanced at Hannah before racking his brain, trying to put a face to the name. "I believe I've met her once or twice. Why do you ask?"

Hannah slightly turned around in her seat to get more comfortable as she told Michael the plan that herself and Alexandra had thought of. "I've invited all of the nurses along to The Garrison on Christmas Day and Sophie has a crush on Isaiah so it's just a perfect time to set them up together but I'll need your help to do it."

"My help?"

"Obviously!" Hannah said, her eyes wide at Michael. "You are Isaiah's best friend and I need you to make sure that he is completely on board with the idea. Just subtly ask him some questions about Sophie, if you get what I mean. They've met a couple of times through me so he will know who she is."

Michael was confused at Hannah's sudden interest in setting Isaiah and Sophie up but he agreed with her plans anyway, promising to speak to Isaiah before Christmas Day.

"Why do you want them to be together so bad?" Michael questioned, his curiosity getting the better of him.

"I think it would just be a sweet thing to happen on Christmas Day and we could have double dates and stuff," Hannah began, her mind picturing all of the romantic dinners they would experience together. "It would just be sweet and that's all there is to it."

"I can't imagine the nuns being completely impressed with it," he responded with a frown. "I mean, two of their midwives dating two blinders. Doesn't exactly give them the best reputation in Birmingham, does it?"

Hannah began to nibble on her bottom lip, he was right but he was also wrong. "So, it's like I said to them when they found out about us, my love life does not affect my work. Both me and Sophie are damn good midwifes."

"I'm not disputing that, Han, I know you are. Your love life did affect your work though, didn't it? It's because of me that you aren't out there delivering babies right now."

"Do you honestly think that?" Hannah asked as Michael pulled up into the reserved car parking spot.

How could he not? If he had not dragged Hannah into all of the business with Father Hughes, then she would still be doing what she loved to do. Michael felt responsible for all the bad stuff that had occurred over the last year, and it was all down to him completely, nothing could change his mind. He had no reason to tell Hannah, or go to her after he had killed the Father, he shouldn't have made her lie either.

"Of course, I do. Do you not think about how different your life would be if you hadn't have met me?" Michael glumly asked, his eyes looking down at his lap.

Hannah moved her hand so it was over Michael's, stopping him from awkwardly playing with them to avoid eye-contact. "It was me who got involved, me who forced you to tell me what happened with Father Hughes. It was my choice to lie and I completely stand by it, one-hundred percent. I've told you so many times that I would go back and do it all over again because all I want to do is protect you. So, if anyone is to blame for me not being a midwife any more than it's myself. I had every opportunity to leave this relationship and forget about you but I stuck around and that's because I care about you and I always will," she argued, not wanting Michael to feel any sort of guilt. "How long have you felt like this?"

"I don't know, a while maybe. I feel like I've just completely fucked things up with you. I'll never be accepted by the nuns, they'll always be judging you for being with me, even twenty-years down the line and who knows when you will get your midwifery duties back? Things just could have been so different for you, Hannah."

With a chuckle, Hannah leaned over and gave Michael a gentle kiss. "Things would have been dull and that's a fact. Nothing that you have done has affected my career, that was all me. Anyways, I overheard the nuns and I might be able to get my midwifery duties back in the New Year so that's a good thing." Hannah paused and placed her hand on the side of Michael's face, forcing him to look at her finally. "We can fix what's happened but that's only if you are willing to help me fix them."

There was a glimmer of hope in Michael's eyes, maybe they could move on. Michael was a destroyed man, though, unwilling to let Hannah see that side of him due to fear of her leaving him. The cocaine was slowly becoming a bad habit again but Michael remained in denial, believing that he wasn't addicted. Telling Hannah would be the best thing, that way he could receive help and support but with Polly slowly breaking down, John and Arthur nowhere to be seen and the business being placed into his hands, Michael couldn't bear to part with the drugs that kept him going throughout the day and night, providing him with some sort of closure. He needed it until Tommy got back and that's when he would get the help that he needed. Until then, he was a lost cause who only felt complete with some drugs up his nose or with Hannah by his side.

+++

"So, let me get this right, Jessie Eden is planning some walkouts and you need to make sure that the guys in the factories don't follow?" Hannah guessed, trying to make sense of the situation. The two of them had forgotten about their little chat earlier on, neither of them wanting to discuss the sad times.

"That's right. She's with the communists," Michael informed, watching as Hannah's face twisted into confusion. "It won't come to anything anyway."

"How do you know?"

"Well, I mean, I don't but they'd all be daft to go against Tommy and what not."

"The women want equal pay though, I think that's fair and anyways, I automatically like anybody that takes a stand against Thomas," Hannah replied - it wasn't often that you saw people stand against Tommy and the things that he was doing. Every now and again though, he needed someone to put him in his place and show him that his actions were irrational.

"It's not down to me to decide that," Michael stated as he grabbed a bottle of whisky from one of the draws in the desk. It was a secret bottle that Tommy had hidden away for testing times but he wasn't there so Michael didn't care, plus he needed a pick me up and cocaine wasn't the answer.

"You could tell Tommy though that something needs to be done about it," argued Hannah, a smirk on her face. "It will save you a lot of trouble in the future and you know it."

Michael did know it but he wasn't willing to get involved. The rumours of Jessie Eden creating protests were simply rumours, nothing else to it - no dates, no locations or anything, just rumours. They had to keep on top of it though, in case anything did occur.

"We will just have to see what happens. Do you want a drink?" Michael asked as he held up two glasses. He tilted his head at Hannah, who was silently debating whether to have a drink. "Come on, love, you know you want one."

"I don't want to get drunk, though," she said sternly, raising her finger in Michael's direction as she walked over to where he was sat. The view of all the men working was starting to bore her and the sound of a beverage was more appealing.

"You don't have to get drunk," Michael replied as he moved his chair from under the desk, allowing Hannah to sit on his lap comfortably. After pouring the drinks, he handed one to Hannah, who sipped on it quietly, her arm wrapped around his shoulders. "What time do you finish on Christmas Day?"

"Oneish, maybe half past one. It all depends on how many people are admitted and stuff. Why do you ask?"

"I'll come and pick you up, saves you having to walk all the way to the convent afterwards and then I'll pick you up again at about sixish," Michael offered, his drink disappearing a lot quicker than Hannah's as he downed it.

Hannah watched carefully as Michael poured himself another drink, she wanted to get back home in one piece.

"That sounds good to me. What are you doing for Christmas dinner?"

"Nothing, I'm not fussed about all of that. I'll probably go to John's and see the new house or something."

"You can come to the convent if you want, there's a chair going free at the dinner table," Hannah offered, her eyes full of hope. It would be the perfect opportunity for Michael to get to know the nuns and nurses properly, without any murders lingering over their shoulders.

Michael wasn't too sure on the idea. Spending the afternoon with the nuns would be ideal, it would give him a chance to speak with them properly, but he could already feel the tension and it didn't seem fair to put Hannah and the nurses in the middle of it. Ideally, Michael would want to talk with the nuns on their own, without anyone listening or watching, which would give him a chance to tell them about how much he truly did love Hannah and that he wasn't ever going to mess it up again.

"I'll think about it but I'm not making any promises."

Hannah accepted his answer, she knew that it would be tough. Michael hated the fact that Hannah knew about the abuse that he had endured as a young child at the hands of Father Hughes, so to know that the Sister's new as well just embarrassed him, even though he had no reason to be ashamed or hide away from what had happened.

"That's fine," Hannah said nonchalantly, her voice calm and smooth as she took another sip. "How's Polly?"

It had been a few days since Hannah had seen Polly, and it wasn't good the last time that she had seen her. The older women were extremely quiet, which was unlike Polly who was usually bubbly and giving attitude to everything and everyone. It was obvious that she hadn't washed her hair in a while, the brunette locks tangled and thrown up in a lazy ponytail. Hannah had attempted to make some sort of conversation but Polly was not interested, her mind focused on the gramophone that was playing blissful music and the cigarettes that were in her hand.

"She's fine, it will be fine," Michael said, not mentioning the prison-tablets that he had been trying to hide from his mother. It was killing him to see his mother in such a state but he felt hopeless. Michael was facing his own demons and he didn't know how to cope with his mother's as well, the only person who could get through to her was Tommy but he was still hiding away in London. Michael didn't want to turn to John or Arthur either, it would only make them think that he couldn't handle everything.

"If she gets any worse then I know people that can help her. Doctor Francis will put her somewhere which is wonderful, and Polly will get the help that she needs," Hannah told him, informing him of different hospitals which specialised in helping people who were suffering from mental illnesses. She could understand his concerns of not wanting to send his mother away but sometimes it was for the best.

Michael just smiled, not wanting to discuss it any further. "So, Isaiah and Sophie."


	38. christmas day.

It wasn't surprising that the hospital was pretty much empty on Christmas Day. The patients that were in the wards were the elder generation, the ones who were too sick to go home for Christmas or had no family. It would be in the evening when all of the drunken folk came in, usually from having too much to drink and not being able to control their anger or doing something stupid. It was the drunken accidents that Hannah found the most entertaining as she listened to their rambling while she bandaged and cleaned up a deep cut or injury.

However, Hannah's day quickly turned at the arrival of two new patients.

Michael had been suspiciously quiet the night before. She had spent a few hours with him before leaving to go back to the convent and spend some time with the sisters and nurses, he had been happy until Tommy had rung up. After the one phone call, Michael's mood had completely changed. She just put it down to Tommy being annoying and causing some sort of argument but it all became clear the next day when Michael was rushed into hospital with multiple gunshot wounds, a letter in his coat pocket and some white powder.

"What's happened?" Hannah shouted as she ran besides Michael's bed that was travelling down the wards at a fast speed signalling that there was something dangerously wrong. Michael was unconscious and blissfully unaware of all the panic and commotion that was going on around him. "Is anybody going to tell me? I am his fiancée and I have a right to know what is going on."

One of the more senior nurses backed away from the bed, her hand grabbing hold of Hannah's arm to stop her from going any further. Hannah struggled to get out of the women's grip, she wanted to be with Michael and make sure that he was okay and alive.

"Get your hands off me," Hannah snapped, not once giving up as she was dragged through a side room away from the wards. "My fiancé is bleeding out to death down there so if you don't let me out of this room, I will make your life a living hell." Hannah was crying at this point, tears running down her face as her mind went to the negative. Hannah didn't mean anything that she was saying, and she made a mental note to apologise to the nurse the next time that she saw her. It was just the mixture of worry and anger was making her say and do things that she would never do in her life. It was like something had taken over Hannah.

"You need to calm down, okay? Michael is in the best care possible and those doctors are going to do everything that they can to save him," the nurse said, a part of her wanting to let Hannah go and be with Michael but she knew that Hannah wasn't in the right frame of mind.

Hannah threw her hands up in the air out of frustration. "He needs me, he's going to be scared."

"He isn't awake Hannah, he doesn't know what is going on and I'm not having you go in there when you are this upset because it will only make things worse. I think it's best that you go home and calm down, go and see the nuns, okay?"

Hannah shook her head. "No, it's not okay. I am staying right here with Michael, alright? I will stay here until he is awake and I swear to God, if those doctors don't save them, then hell will rise. Is that understood?"

The older nurse knew that Hannah didn't mean a word that she was saying, her emotions were just all over the place as she tried to process what was going on. It was only when Hannah saw Esme running down the corridor that the panic really set in. This wasn't just a random attack, or Michael being in the wrong place at the wrong time, this was organised.

"Who else has been admitted?" Hannah asked quickly, her heart racing.

The nurse sighed before answering, "John Shelby."

Hannah closed her eyes and tried to calm down, how was she supposed to take in all of this? It was Christmas Day, she was meant to be seeing Michael soon. Everything just felt completely wrong.

"Is he okay?"

"John is in a bad way but people are helping him. Everything will be okay, Hannah, and you know that. I'm going to ring the convent and let them know what's happened, see if they can send somewhere over to come and pick you up. Are you going to stay in here?"

"I need to be with him, he can't be alone in there," Hannah said as she sat down on one of the chairs with a thump. Her face was in her hands as she sobbed uncontrollably, she couldn't stand feeling like this again - the not knowing if Michael was going to make it out alive or not. The older nurse was torn but she did what was right, she wouldn't let Hannah go in, even if it pained her to do so. "If you are not going to let me into the ward then I am guessing that you are not going to let Esme in either so can you bring her to me, please? She will need someone with her."

+++

It was the waiting about what hurt the most and not knowing what was occurring. Hannah had managed to persuade the older nurse to let them sit in the hallway where they could see if any major commotion was happening, giving Hannah a chance to rush into either Michael or John's room and help out the doctors and nurses that were currently battling to save their lives.

"How did this happen, Esme?" Hannah asked, her mind thinking of a hundred and one million questions.

The only thing that signalled that something was going off within the Shelby business was Michael's shadiness the previous night after his phone call with Tommy but how did that get to this? They had been in prison for most of the year and since being released earlier in the month, they had not gone into any shady dealings because of Tommy not being there.

Was this because of Tommy? He had been down London for a long time, only coming back to Birmingham a few days prior, had something occurred down there? Was it the Russians coming back for revenge? Hannah didn't know and she needed to know. She wanted to brace herself for whatever was about to happen within the business, which would eventually spill into her private life.

"It was the Italians," Esme answered as she continued to stare down at the hospital floors. "The Italians came, must have been at least eight of them and just fired their guns."

Hannah was even more confused now. "Why would the Italians want to kill Michael and John? Is this because of what happened with Vicente Changretta?" She remembered hearing his name after the death of Grace, along with an Angel Changretta but at that point, she was doing her best to not involve herself within the business.

"John had some trouble with him, didn't he? Vicente was going all over Birmingham saying that he was going to kill John and now look what's happened, my husband is in there and I have no fucking clue what's going on! My kids are at home, confused about everything. All they saw was their dads' body on the ground, covered in blood. How am I meant to explain this to them? What if he doesn't come out alive?" Esme was angry, her jaw clenched as she spat the words out. She didn't know who to direct her anger to - Tommy, John or the Italians?

Hannah was still confused, she had heard that Vicente was dead. "Michael told me that Vicente was killed after Grace was murdered so how on Earth could it be him that's organised this?"

Esme shrugged, she was just as clueless. "I wish I knew, Hannah. All I know is that you best prepare yourself because I think this is going to be the biggest war yet. The Russians? Father Hughes? Alfie Solomons? Yeah, nothing on this."

Hannah remained silent in fear, she didn't know if she could go through all that trouble again and that's if Michael survived. By the way that he looked when he first entered the hospital, Hannah knew that he was in a terrible way and John didn't sound much better either, he was the one who took the full force.

It was about ten minutes later that one of the nurses came out to inform Esme that they had managed to stabilise John, she was able to go in and sit with him despite John not being awake. With a soft smile and a quick hug, Esme left Hannah alone in the hallway to await Michael's fate.

Hannah was exhausted at this point; every part of her body was slowly giving up and she could find herself falling into a deep sleep. She needed to remain awake though in case any news about Michael came through, that way she could be with him instantly. Her body decided to sleep.

When Hannah did wake up, it wasn't by a nurse or a doctor that was going to give her good news. It was Sister Maria who had been waiting around for a few hours, she didn't want to disturb Hannah. Being awake would only make her think harder about the situation which would send herself into an even worse state.

"How are you doing?" Sister Maria asked, embarrassed at her stupid question. Hannah was obviously doing rubbish, it was evident in her face and the way that her eyes were puffed up but Sister Maria was trying to make conversation without causing too much upset. "How long has Michael been in there?"

"What time is it?"

"Five in the afternoon," Sister Maria told her.

Hannah scoffed, "He's been in there for six hours then. Has there been any update?"

"Yeah, something has"

Panic instantly set in, what was Sister Maria going on about? If Michael had passed then they would have surely woken up her to give her the dreaded news. Even if something minor had happened, like he had moved wards, Hannah would have been informed. At least that's what she thought.

"What? What has happened?" Hannah asked not giving Sister Maria the chance to speak.

Sister Maria noticed the panic and, in an attempt, to comfort Hannah, she placed her hand on her shoulder. "Michael went in for emergency surgery about two hours ago to try and remove some of the bullets from his legs. I didn't want to wake you and tell you, don't be mad, I just thought that it would be for the best."

Hannah nodded, maybe it was for the best. "How was he when they sent him down for surgery?" 

"I didn't see him myself but the nurses didn't seem too worried. I think they are just glad that they managed to stop most of the bleeding. He's very lucky."

"How can you call that luck?" Hannah sarcastically asked, a frown on her face as she crossed her arms and slouched down in the chair a little.

"The bullets missed his vital organs, that's luck. It could have been a whole lot worse than what it is and I think you need to realise that. Instead of focusing on the negatives and being mardy, act brave and wait patiently. I promise you that Michael will come out alive." Sister Maria was using tough love, this wasn't the Hannah that she knew.

"You were there when he was born, wasn't you?" Hannah asked, remembering when Sister Maria once mentioned it. "And now you will be here when he dies."

There was a loud groan from Sister Maria who gently slapped Hannah on the chest. "Sit up, now." Hannah, with a scared expression on her face, did as Sister Maria said. "Snap out of this, instantly. If you love Michael then you will stay strong and stop acting like a child. I know that this is sad, and you shouldn't have to experience it for a second time, but what happens, will happen. You need to be brave for yourself and for Michael."

Sister Maria often said the wrong things and caused the greatest of arguments. She often thought she was better than most, with her wise words and intelligent mind, but when she wanted to be, Sister Maria was one the nicest people ever. It was annoying sometimes, the fact that she had an answer, which was 99% of the time reasonable and well-thought out, to every single question or problem. Sister Maria said that she had been on this Earth for longer than any of the nurses and she knew well, she had seen a lot and she could easily solve any situation. Her wise words were often needed throughout the convent and local community, a voice of reasoning that most people didn't get in their life.

"I know, you are right," Hannah glumly said. "I just can't imagine losing him, like ever."

"Sometimes life is cruel and this year has been very cruel to you and Michael but you are strong and you are able to get through anything, aren't you? It's not going to get easier and things will continue to be rough but you knew this when you started to go out with Michael, yet it didn't put you off so don't let it happen now, keep being supportive and loving."

"I'm trying, I am but there's only so much one person can take before they begin to crack. How on Earth are we meant to come back from this? The attack was planned, it wasn't something accidental and I can't risk being involved in it. I just don't know what to do."

"Do you love him?" Sister Maria asked.

"Of course, more than anything in the world. Isn't that obvious?" Hannah chuckled, her eyes softening slightly and the anger washing away.

"Then you will do everything that you can to keep the relationship together. I know that I haven't been the kindest when it comes to you and Michael but I don't want to see you hurt and it's blatantly obvious that he adores you and that you adore him so don't give up so easy otherwise you might come to regret it when you are older and stuck in a marriage with a man who you do not love, thinking about what could have been if you had stuck around and worked through these rough times." Sister Maria took a deep sigh before slapping her hand across her knee. "Right! I need to get going but you know the number for the convent so if anything happens, just ring us up straight away and someone will be some immediately. Polly has been informed but I'm afraid she wasn't in a very good state when Alexandra went around so she will be sleeping off whatever she took or drunk and then I will get someone to bring her here. Do you want anything bringing down?"

Hannah looked up at Sister Maria and shook her head. "What's happened with Polly?"

"I don't know exactly. All I really know is that Alexandra went around there to inform her of what had happened and she was passed out in the living room, it seems as if she has taken something but we can't be clear until she wakes up. I'll send the doctor around when she is awake and get him to check her over. Alexandra is with her now so if anything does happen, I'll let you know."

Hannah nodded. As much as she loved Polly, she couldn't deal with it at the moment. There was almost a part of her that was angry with Polly for getting into such a state but it's not as if she expected her son to be shot multiple times and it just made it clear that she was struggling with the whole prison stint and that she did need help, despite what Michael had been saying.

"I'll see you soon," Hannah mumbled.

There was another half an hour of no information, just complete silence from the wards. This wasn't how Christmas Day was supposed to go down, they were all meant to be in The Garrison having fun and setting Sophie and Isaiah up.

"Nurse Anderson, I've just found this in the ward that Michael was first in and I thought I'd let you keep hold of it," one of the younger nurses said, Hannah believed it was her first week, the poor woman.

Hannah sat up straight and reached over to grab Michael's coat, immediately putting it close to her body so she could feel close to him. "Thank you. Is there any update?"

The young nurse shook her head. "I'm afraid not. Michael is still in surgery but he should be out within the next few hours. Would you like a cup of tea or anything?"

"No, thank you."

The young nurse left Hannah alone in the waiting room. It was too quiet and it was starting to drag her down. All she wanted was to hear some noise, or laughter, anything but silence and the subtle noise of nurses walking about the corridors. At least that's what she thought, the familiar voice behind her almost made her wish that she was back in silence

"Hannah," Tommy said, a voice she hadn't heard in so long. Hannah didn't know if she wanted to hug him or put him on the ward. "How is John?"

"Awake, I believe." Hannah didn't turn around to look at Tommy, genuinely afraid of what she would do if she saw his face. Just hearing his voice was enough to make her blood boil and even though it wasn't directly his fault, she wanted someone to blame and he seemed like the perfect candidate. "Michael is in surgery."

Tommy sniffed and pursed his lips, he didn't know where to go. "Have you been here all day?"

"Yes."

"Would you like me to arrange a lift back to the convent for you?"

"No. I am not leaving the hospital until I have spoken to Michael. Understood?"

"Clear as day," Tommy whispered, sensing the anger and frustration in her voice. "Do you know what happened?" he coaxed, trying to figure out what Hannah knew.

"Vaguely but I don't know all of the details and if you want to keep that face of your free of bruises then I suggest you don't tell me." Hannah finally turned around to look at Tommy, a fake and sarcastic smile on her face. "Why are you here anyway, Tommy? You haven't made an effort for the past seven months so what's made you decide to come now?"

"I was worried," he replied, daring to take a seat next to Hannah. She didn't say anything, just simply moved further away. "I wanted to know how my little brother and cousin was doing."

"You didn't care when they were on prison so what's making you care now? Or are you worried that you will be next? I mean, could be anyone of us. I'm involved in this business now, not that I want to be, so what if they come after me? Or Esme? Or Linda? Aye!" Hannah's voice suddenly got louder as she smacked Tommy in the shoulder with strength, she didn't know she had. Tommy sat there and took it, not moving his eyes off the chair in front of him. She didn't know what was coming over her but seven months' worth of feelings were being released at once and it was dangerous. "This is what fucking happens, isn't it? Innocent people get dragged into this life and they are at risk, every single day. I used to fear walking down the streets in case someone attacked me, simply for being Michael's fiancée and it's not fair on anybody. Why can't you just do things normal?"

"Hannah, please don't," Tommy whispered, he couldn't deal with the aggro.

"No, you will listen to me for once. It's always over people being affected, Tommy, never you. All you do is stroll about and act like nothing affects you while everyone else gets battered, sent to prison, nearly fucking killed. Did you know that Polly is having a breakdown? That's on you for the sending them there, of all the fucking places. You left it until the last minute to get them out, they were seconds away from being hung and what did you get out of it? An OB fucking E. Once again, you come out of it all well and fine, higher up in power just like you always want."

Tommy shook his head, he knew that Hannah was right but he didn't want to listen to it, all it did was hurt him. Maybe he just needed someone to tell him the truth, so he could learn from his mistakes but both Tommy and Hannah knew that he never would. It would always be Tommy coming out on top and everyone else would be stuck at the bottom.

"I'm sorry, okay? I really am and I know that I have a lot of making up to do but the business - "

"It's always the business - " Hannah stopped up to stand directly in front of him but she was cut short when a couple of vials of cocaine fell from Michael's coat pocket.

She instantly felt her heart drop as she bent down to pick them up. Michael had once said that he used to do cocaine but he had promised Hannah that he no longer relied on it and that he was better off without the drugs in his system. Was she that bad of a fiancée and nurse that she couldn't see that he was back on the drugs? It all made sense when she thought about it. The shady behaviour, sneaking off every now and again to the toilet, the constant money that he carried around with him. She was angry at Michael for not telling her but she was furious with herself for not noticing that something had changed with him.

"I didn't know about that," Tommy said before Hannah could accuse him of anything else.

"Me neither" she whispered as she sat back down, the cocaine still in her hands. "Why didn't he tell me?"

"It's not something that just casually pops up in conversation, is it?" Tommy sighed as he reached over and took the vials from Hannah's hands, stuffing them in his own coat pocket where he could dispose of them. "See if there's any more in there."

Hannah dug her hand into the first pocket to find nothing but in the second one, she pulled out an envelope and her interest instantly peaked.

"Why has Luca Changretta sent a Christmas card with a black hand on it?" Hannah asked, her innocence showing.

Tommy gulped, how was he going to explain this one?

"Luca is the oldest son of Vicente and from what I know, he's out for revenge. A black hand is basically a threat, a very big one. The Italian Mafia have declared war, Hannah."

Hannah took a deep sigh, why did stuff like this always happen? It was if the Shelby family attracted trouble at every given moment. There was never any peace, it was always an argument, a death or a war. She had heard the stories about what the peaky blinders used to get up to before Michael had even been on the scene and she often wondered how they all coped with the constant drama. No wonder Ada went to live in London and then America, she had the right idea.

"I can't deal with this," Hannah said, standing up quickly and dropping the coat to the floor. She needed air and a cigarette to try and wrap her head around everything that had happened within the last twenty-four hours. It was all too much for her to take at one time. "The fucking mafia," she muttered as she walked away from Tommy, her hands instantly going for the cigarettes.

It was freezing outside but it was better than being stuck in the hospital. The wind was harsh and it made Hannah struggle to lit her cigarette but when she did, and she took the first drag, the first sense of peace she had felt all day. Tommy was soon by her side though, just to check that she was okay and wasn't doing anything that she would regret.

"I'll sort it," he said after lighting his own cigarette.

"You always say that."

"And I always sort it. None of my family are going to get hurt again and that includes you, okay? We all stick together when stuff like this happens, it's just the way that it is. You are either in or out."

Hannah turned her head to look at Tommy. "I'm in but if anything happens to Michael again, and I get dragged into any of this Italian business then I will cause World War Two and that's a fact. Michael and I are better than this and one day, hopefully soon, we will be away from all of this and we will no longer have to worry about the constant threat. You, Tommy, you will be alone."

+++

"Michael is ready to see you."

It was the next day by the time that Hannah was able to see Michael. He was fully awake, not all there, but alive at least. After their chat, Tommy had gone to see John before leaving to deal with things back at home. He was expecting a visit from Luca at some point, it was just a matter of when. Hannah swore that if she ever came face-to-face with Luca then she would give him a piece of her mind, at least that's what she thought. In reality she would probably be terrified but only time would tell, who knows what Hannah would do when she in the wrong mood? After being around Michael and the Shelby's for so long, she had learnt that she had quite the temper.

Hannah waited outside of the private room that Michael had been given to recover. There was two men stood outside, both of them armed with guns and weapons that could cause some damage if any of the Italians attempted to get to Michael. Once they knew that Michael and John survived the attack, it would anger the Italians and make them want to kill them even more.

"Hannah," Michael whispered quietly, his voice sore and body aching.

Hannah wanted nothing more but to run up and give him lots of love but all she could do was stand in the middle of the room and try not to finish the job off. She was angry, so angry it was unreal, but she was trying not to kick up a fuss.

"What's wrong?" Michael asked, attempting to sit up a bit so he could get a better view of Hannah. He had known Hannah long enough, so he knew when something was bothering her. "Hannah."

"I'm scared that if I walk over to you then I will do something that I will regret so I am going to stay back while I try and calm down."

"What do you mean?" Michael asked with furrowed eyebrows - he thought that Hannah would have been happy to see him after everything that had happened. What had he done wrong?

Hannah shook her head and wiped away some tears. "Please, don't." He was looking at her with those eyes, the ones she always forgave. "Just don't," she whispered, turning her head so she didn't have to look at those pretty eyes.

"We promised to tell each other everything so tell me, what's the problem?"

Hannah laughed at that darkly. "Yeah, we did promise to tell each other everything so why didn't you tell me about the drugs?" She shouted, earning the attention of the two men stood outside.

Michael looked down at the bed sheets with a deep sigh. "How did you find out?"

"There was cocaine in your coat pocket. It was quite a surprise, I'm not going to lie but do you want to know what really topped it off? The nice little Christmas card from the Italian mafia! Yeah, that was really nice. I mean, how sweet of them."

"Hannah, just let me explain."

"No, I don't want an explanation, right now. I just wanted to make sure that you were well and you seem good, despite everything that's happened. I'm going to back to the convent and change my clothes and have a bath. Would you like anything?"

Michael pursed his lips, he had no idea what to do or say. "I'd like forgiveness."

Hannah nodded. "We will talk about that later, aye?"

A part of her wanted to storm out of the room, just to prove the point, and leave him without a kiss or an 'I love you' but like always, she had no willpower. Quickly moving across the room, she gave Michael a gentle kiss, being careful not to lean against any injured parts of his body.

How did it always end up like this?


	39. confessions.

It was a few hours later when Hannah returned back to the hospital, fully washed and out of her hospital uniform. She had taken the letter from Luca back to the convent and had hidden it away so none of the nurses could find it and question what it was about, it would only cause hassle that Hannah couldn't be bothered to deal with. Even though there was a war on the horizon between the Italians and The Peaky Blinders, Hannah's only concern was Michael and finding out when his disgusting drug habit had come about and why he hadn't told her about it.

"How is he?" Hannah asked the matron who was filling in some paperwork at the desk in reception, most likely Michael and John's. It was going to take a lot of writing down with endless notes and inquiries into what had happened. No-one outside of the family would ever find out the actual truth, it was private business that didn't need to be made to the world just yet.

The matron looked up from the desk and took off her glasses, smiling at Hannah softly. "He's awake and doing well, a bit confused and constantly asking for you. His mother popped by earlier but I think she's gone to the other ward to see John Shelby. Tommy is due to come by at some point today as well."

Hannah nodded, she felt sorry for Tommy in a way. Hannah would be surprised if Polly didn't try and kill him if she ever saw him. Polly had only just truly started her relationship with Michael and too potentially lose him would kill her off but not before killing Tommy herself.

"Is he still on the same ward?" Hannah asked as she picked up one of the forms that the matron was filling in, it was for Michael. Just by looking at his medical notes, Hannah knew that Sister Maria was completely right with what she had said. Michael was extremely lucky to be alive, along with John. It was just going to be a long road to recovery, especially with his leg being messed up due to where a few of the bullets landed.

The matron nodded before reminding Hannah on the ward number. "He isn't due any medication for another hour so I will make sure that the nurses leave you both alone to have a good chat. How are you holding up? I know this must be rough for you considering everything that has happened over the last eight months."

Hannah nodded, she had no choice but to be okay. "I will be fine, thank you for asking." Hannah turned around and started to walk away from the desk before spinning back around quickly to ask the matron one last question. "Am I alright to have a few days off to stay with Michael? If you do need me then I don't mind doing the odd shift and every now and again but I want to be with him whenever I can and I know that I can't work on his ward."

"I was going to give you a few weeks off, at least from the hospital. I don't think I should be telling you this but Sister Maria did mention that herself and Sister Margaret were going to be having a chat with you within the next week about going back to midwifery. They were meant to tell you yesterday but we all know what happened there," the matron joked as she lifted up a couple of sheets of paperwork.

"Well, if that is the case then I just want to say thank you for having me."

"It's been an absolute pleasure, you are a fantastic nurse and don't let anyone tell you any differently. If you do ever want to come back to the hospital, then there will be a job here for you but I know that your heart is with midwifery and that's fine."

Hannah smiled and mumbled a thank you before finally walking away. Was she a good nurse? She hadn't even noticed that her partner was high on cocaine most of the time they were together, or that Polly was slowly having a breakdown and was withering away in front of her. Hannah had been too focused on everything else and was missing the most important signals that could have stopped Michael from falling deeper into his drug addiction and she could have got Polly the help that she needed and deserved before she had turned to prison-tablets.

The first thing that Hannah noticed when she walked down the hallway was the fact that there were two new men stood outside of Michael's rooms. She eyed them up curiously before recognising one of men from the betting shop. Hannah had only seen him briefly but he was a lot bigger than the other man who was stood in his place only a few hours previously.

"Who are you?" The other man asked, one that Hannah didn't recognise. He was most likely from one of the factories which is why she didn't recognise him. He was a huge man, and could easily take Hannah down, but she wasn't afraid of him either. It was her fiancé in there and she wasn't going to be kept out by someone that she didn't know. "I said, who are you?"

"I'm Michael's bloody fiancé so you will let me in there right now." Hannah looked at the one guy that she did recognise, hoping that his memory jogged on and that he also remembered Hannah.

"She is," he confirmed. "Go through."

Hannah eyed up the big bloke, not that it did much, Hannah was a mouse to him. "Thank you very much. I don't expect to hear that question again, understood?"

Michael was sat up slightly at this point, his face rocking a big graze from where he had fell to the floor after the bullets had hit him but that would clear up quickly. She couldn't see the full extent of his injuries due to bandages but she had a rough idea, she had seen enough gunshot wounds during her time at the hospital. Michael's face was twisted with pain every time he moved or knocked his leg against the bed. It was heart-breaking for Hannah but she was used to it at this point and all of her sympathy had gone out of the window the moment the cocaine rolled out of his pockets and onto the floor in the waiting area. God knows what people would have thought if they had walked past and seen it happen in front of their eyes. It would only be another controversy to add to Hannah's long list.

"Why can't you men fight with your hands?" Hannah asked as she stood at the end of Michael's bed, her eyes flickering through the medical notes that the nurses had left out. "It's always got to be guns with you 'gangsters', hardly ever fists."

Michael moved further up the bed so his back was rested against the metal headboard, it was uncomfortable against his back but it gave him a better view of Hannah which he appreciated. He had missed the sight, and attitude, of his fiancée.

"Are you still angry at me?" he dared to ask, bracing himself for a shouting match but Hannah remained quiet and ignored his question. "Hannah, just stop avoiding the question and answer, please. I don't want yesterday to come between us."

Hannah rolled her eyes at Michael's comment. "It's not just yesterday though, is it? You've been lying to me for a few weeks now and I'm angry about it, and I have a right to be angry." Hannah didn't once look up from the medical notes, she wasn't going to forgive him, not yet anyway. "I just don't understand why you didn't tell me about the cocaine? I could have helped you, or got you some help from somewhere. There was no need to hide it from me and you know that but instead you decided to keep it to yourself and you probably would have forever or until you died from an overdose!"

Michael shook his head. "That wasn't going to happen. I was going to tell you, I swear down. Things were just getting too much and I needed something to keep me awake at night, that way I didn't think about everything that had happened. I didn't dream about all of the bad shit that went off."

"You had me!" Hannah shouted, throwing the book down on the end of the bed, only just missing Michael's injured legs. "I could have helped you through all that, I could have stayed with you at night. You choose those drugs over me, your own fiancée and how do you think that makes me feel? Am I that bad that you can't come and talk to me when you have a problem?"

Michael gritted his teeth, he was struggling to vocalise how he felt, the fact that he was struggling to stay together. It was never meant to go down like this but here they were, again, stuck in an argument because Michael had messed up. It was an ongoing cycle and it seemed like they would never break out of it, just continue to have good stages and then bad stages. They were never going to be fully happy with each other, at least while they were stuck in Birmingham.

"You don't know what it's like Hannah to constantly feel like this. Yes, I could have come to you when I was struggling but you were having your own issues and I didn't want to put all of my problems on you because that's unfair. I don't know how many times I can say sorry but I will continue to do so until you forgive me for fucking things up once more." Michael paused and ran one hand over his face, he could feel his breath getting heavier as he tried not to get too angry at himself. Hannah was not to blame for any of this, he just had to keep reminding himself of that. "I'm not proud of what I've done and I can't go back and change it so all I can do, is sit here and wait for you to either understand or forgive me."

"When did it start?" Hannah asked with a calm voice. She moved to sit down on the edge of the bed, out of reach from Michael. "And don't lie to me, I want the complete truth. Every single detail."

Michael gulped and nodded. "The first day I came home at The Garrison."

"I knew it," Hannah said with an exhausted sigh, she had suspected that something was happening that night, she remembered questioning Michael about why he kept sneaking off and she thought it was nothing, she believed his lies like she always did, what a fool. "I'm guessing Isaiah has been selling it to you then?"

"Only the once when he was drunk. I went around the next day and he wouldn't sell any to me, was petrified of what you would do if you found out."

"As he should be."

"So, I started buying it off one of the guys at the factory, took it whenever I could and whenever he wasn't available, I'd just find someone else who was dealing. It's not hard to find them nowadays, everybody is snorting something."

"That's no excuse."

"I know, I'm sorry," Michael sighed. "I just thought that it would help me and clearly I was wrong. It was just a coping mechanism, that's all, but it didn't make me cope, it just made me feel worse about everything." Michael took a pause and reached over for a cigarette that Polly had left for him. "I just feel like shit all the time, constantly down and not in the mood to do anything because I'm so fucking sad. The cocaine just made me feel happy, I guess. I could go out and do things without constantly worrying about the police arresting me again because they've changed their mind and they've decided to hang me for my crimes, I didn't have to worry about what was going to happen next, my mother, the business, everything. It just made me forget and I liked that."

"I'm sorry that you feel like that, I just wish that you had told me sooner and then we could have done something about it before it was too late." Hannah cringed at the thought of Michael snorting the white powder from the surfaces. "At least with you being in here, it means that you can't take anymore and it might get it all out of your system and then we start afresh."

"What do you mean we start afresh?"

"Us, this, everything. No more drugs, no more lies, no more secrets and no more pretending that you are okay when you quite clearly aren't. Just tell me the truth from now on because the more you hide it, the worse you will feel which leads to you making stupid choices and I can't lose you, not yet anyway."

Hannah was starting to soften up. Her initial rage was justified but now that Michael had gone through and explained everything and why he felt the need to take the drugs in the first place, a part of her could understand why he had chosen to take that route. Hannah had a feeling that it was either drugs to help him through the day or death. At least know that she knew, there was something that she could do to help protect Michael and keep him away from the disgusting substance before he ended up a complete and utter mess with nobody to care for him.

"You've got to stick with me on this one, Michael, no more fucking around and acting like idiots. Things are changing and we need to stick together so that we can survive but I need you here, mentally, and I'm going to help you reach that stage again. I want the old Michael back," Hannah said sadly, thinking about to when things were so much simpler and when Michael's biggest concern was making it in time to clinic with Esme to see if Hannah was there.

"And you will get him back, I promise. No more bullshit, Han."

That's what she wanted to hear, what she needed to hear more than anything in the world. When Michael said that things would be okay, he usually meant it and Hannah knew that he would do everything he could to make sure that Hannah was never hurt or involved.

"What actually happened yesterday? I just remember some men jumping out from behind haystacks," Michael said with a grin, somewhat amused with how dedicated the Italians were. They were clever though and that was risky.

"I think you know what happened and who it was," Hannah said as she moved to sit on the chair besides Michael's bed. She took note of the handbag that was on the floor, it was Polly's. "Luca or something, I don't know. He's out for revenge and I'm guessing that you and John were first on the hit list."

"Didn't do a very good job, did they?" Michael joked, referring to the fact that he was still alive, along with John. "They'll be back though, ten times stronger and with more men and more guns."

Hannah didn't want to think about that, even though she knew that she should. Hannah needed to prepare herself for the upcoming months, it was only going to be filled with pain and misery deaths and murders with herself and Michael stuck in the middle all of it. A selfish part of her hoped that Michael wouldn't recover for a long time and that his damaged leg would mean that he couldn't fight alongside the three brothers. At least that way he couldn't be hurt and the chances of him staying alive would be a lot higher than if he was on the front line.

"Let them try," Hannah said. She reached down for Michael's hand and squeezed it reassuringly. She just had one last rant to get out and then she would be finished. "Please don't do this to me again Michael because I don't think I can take much more. I can't live my life constantly worrying about whether or not you are going to make it back him for dinner, you know? I know that you couldn't help what happened yesterday, nobody could, but don't go out of your way to get into this kind of trouble. Just stay back for a while."

Michael knew that Hannah was right but a hidden part of him craved all of the drama and action, it had been the way since the first time that he had pulled a gun. There was just something about holding a gun to a man's head, some sort of power that Michael had never experienced before arriving in Birmingham. He didn't like the way that he felt, or the fact that he was slowly becoming like Tommy, but he knew that it was the only way that he could provide a stable life for himself and Hannah. Tommy didn't get to the top by doing things legally and with polite words, every Shelby member had to be brutal and nasty and if that's what Michael had to do, then he would, no matter the risks.

"It will be okay, alright? Just stop worrying about everything and that includes those Italians. It won't be long before it is sorted."

Hannah knew that Michael was only saying that to stop her from worrying but Hannah wasn't stupid, she knew that this was going to be something that went on for a while. The Italians seemed like dedicated people, who were not going to stop until every Shelby was slayed for their part in the death of Luca's brother and father. It was understandable that they wanted revenge, Hannah knew that she would have wanted them to suffer as well, but it wasn't fair on everybody else that wasn't involved in the killing. Michael wasn't there and nor was Polly, they were just on the hit-list because Luca wanted to prove his power. Well, he wasn't going to win without a fight.

They remained talking for another half an hour, both of them waiting for Polly to return back to the hospital room. Hannah hadn't seen her yet but she had decided not to bring up yesterday's actions, she just hoped that Polly was either going to ask for help or sort out her issues sharply. The family needed her more than ever.

"Hannah, I was wandering where you were," Polly said with a smile as she sat down on the chair next to Hannah, quickly giving her a quick hug and throwing a sympathy smile in Michael's direction. "Bloody idiots, you and John are, absolute idiots."

"It's not as if we expected it mum, none of us did. It's over and done with now and there's no going back to change what happened, we just have to sort out a plan for the Italians."

Polly shook her head and sniggered. "No, we won't. It's not happening and you know that." Polly quickly glanced in Hannah's direction but said nothing, as if she knew something that Hannah didn't. It wasn't the right time to bring up Australia to Hannah. "Do you mind giving me and Michael a moment, Hannah? I think John wanted to see you about something and I know that Esme is with him so maybe you could go and chat with them."

Hannah didn't even think twice about it, she did not want to be in Polly's bad books. As she walked out the room, she looked back at Michael who had a glum expression. He knew what was coming and the answer was a no, just had it had been before.

"I'm not moving to fucking Australia, mum, so you can get that out of your head, right now."

Polly groaned before reaching into her handbag to grab the leaflet that she had picked up from the local post office. She had been trying to persuade Michael, almost with desperation, but he was having none of it.

"Just have a think about it, Michael. There will be so many opportunities for us and the risk of us being murdered won't exist. We need to get out of Birmingham and you know."

Michael stood his ground, he would not move out of the country for anything. "I'm not leaving Hannah, mum, it's just not going to happen. I'm sorry, okay?"

Polly's eyes were sad, she just wanted to protect her son. "It's for the best and you know it. There will be other girls in Australia - "

"None like Hannah though. I don't even want anybody else, I just want her and I always will. I thought that you liked Hannah?"

"I do, a lot. I just don't think it's right that you are putting your life on the line for one girl because you might end up regretting it. No-one knows what will happen between the two of you, it might not even work out - "

Michael darkly laughed. "It will, trust me," he cut off, side-eyeing Polly.

"We don't know what's going to happen in the future, we don't know where this war with the Italians will take us but I do know that Australia is our safest option and I am not sorry for thinking about what's best for you. You're being irrational."

"You are!" Michael exclaimed, fully looking at his mother in the eyes. "You've never once mentioned Australia until today and now suddenly, you think it's the greatest idea in the world. I know that deep down, a part of you doesn't want to leave all of this behind, everything that you and this family have built. You love Birmingham, even though you won't admit it, and I genuinely believed that it would take more than a few Italians to run you out of this city."

Polly wanted to murder Michael for being correct. Of course, she loved Birmingham, they all did deep down. It was where she had grown as a woman, becoming the feared leader that she was today. Everybody respected it, never spoke down or argued to her face, and they all treated Polly was the upmost of love. In some odd ways, she was like everybody's mother. But bad stuff had happened, especially since the start of the business. Inspector Campbell was a memory that haunted her still, the face of the Irish man often popping up in her dreams, turning them into a nightmare of the worst form. The prison stint had nearly killed her, literally, and the aftermath of it all was slowly wearing her down. Australia was supposed to be a fresh start, a chance for herself and Michael to build a proper relationship that wasn't built on criminal activities, she wanted it to be real. However, she knew that forcing Michael to move to Australia, away from the love of his life, would only destroy the relationship in the long run.

"The offer is there and it always will be."

Polly made the choice of keeping quiet about Australia for the time being, she didn't want any arguments to cause friction within their relationship, especially during testing times like this. All she could really do was stand back and hope that Michael made the right decision and that it would be made before things took a terrible turn and ended up in misery.

"Maybe one day, when me and Hannah are ready to move but not yet, I just can't."

Polly tried to understand - Michael was in love, his first proper love, and he didn't want anything to get in the way of the relationship that was blossoming every single day. Michael knew that himself Hannah were strong and that they were made for each other but they were still extremely young and they had suffered things that no couple their age, or any couple, should go through. They just needed time to be fully committed and ready to leave England.

Deciding to change the subject to stop another confrontation, Polly brought up a more positive subject that would cheer everyone up. "Have you discussed the wedding?"

Michael's eyes twinkled with happiness as he nodded his head. "Hannah wants a summer wedding so it won't be yet. I don't think we are in any rush anymore but things could change, you know?"

"And are the nuns okay with it all?"

"Hannah said that Sister Maria was at the hospital yesterday and that she said some kind words so I'm guessing so. Only time will tell," Michael replied.

The idea of marriage was something that Hannah and Michael had dreamed off. A big day, with a white dress and horse and a carriage was a childhood dream of Hannah's but she would easily accept a small wedding, with just herself, Michael and a couple of witnesses off the street. Even though she was ready to be Mrs. Gray, she had realised over the previous months that they genuinely did need to take their time with choices such as that. Hannah wanted everything to be perfect, within themselves and the life that they led, she didn't want a repeat of what happened the last time they tried to get married.

"Just don't tell Tommy when the wedding day is, I'm sure he will think of something to ruin it," Polly said, half sarcastically, half not.

She still hadn't fully forgiven Tommy and she didn't know if she ever could. There was one main rule within the Shelby family - you don't snitch or hurt your own, and he had broken that rule in the most horrendous way possible. The amount of trouble and pain that he had caused was horrific to Polly, especially as she had suffered from it, along with Michael and even the others. John was a broken man who was trying to keep it together for Esme and the children. Even Arthur was struggling but he had Linda and a new child to think about and he was lucky that Linda was there, she continued to try and make him see the good side of life. The biggest victim was Finn, in Polly's eyes. The youngest brother had suffered over the seventh months with no support system, no family and no direction in life. Tommy only caught up with him every now and again, just to check that he was alive and able to get by. The rest of the time, it was Esme, Linda or Hannah caring for him. Finn was more confused than anything, he couldn't understand why Tommy would betray his family and why he hadn't been informed of what was going on. The first time that Finn properly found out what had occurred was when Michael had told him over a few drinks.

"You need to forgive him for what has happened."

"I can't, not yet," Polly said with a shrug - it wasn't as simple as Michael wanted to believe.

"I get that. Just don't hold it against him for too long because it will come back to haunt you and you might end up wishing that you had took the chance to be civil."

"As soon as he says sorry, I will think about being his Aunt again but until then, I won't make any effort. If he wants us to be a family again then he will call a family meeting where we will discuss it all properly but I refuse to reach out to him." Polly shut down the topic of Tommy quickly, she didn't want to think about him. It was obvious that she would forgive him eventually, it was just a matter of when and how. "I need to get going, the house needs sorting out for when you get home."

"I won't be coming home for a while yet, mum," Michael informed her, not wanting Polly to think that everything would be fine and that his injuries would be minor. "Hannah said that I could be in here for a couple months depending on how my leg heals and if I can walk or not."

Polly forced a smile. "Well, at least you will be getting good care while in here. I still need to go, I have things to do but I will try and come down either this evening or tomorrow morning."

Michael nodded and allowed his mother to leave - he didn't want everyone to be sat by his bedside all day long when there was work that needed to be done outside of the hospital walls.

+++

The last time that Hannah had been at Tommy's house was the day that Grace had was fatally shot. Nothing had changed, but the fog that had formed made the house look a lot more mysterious and scarier looking. The house itself was beautiful, including the inside, and it just showed how all of Tommy's work had paid off. Charlie had acres of lands to run around in and ride horses once he got older, giving him the chance to enter his father's business. It was what Hannah hoped off, something along those lines that herself and Michael could enjoy together.

The walk down the long lane was a long one but it gave Hannah enough time to reflect on everything. She easily could have told Tommy that she was coming to see him but she had opted to surprise him instead, that way he wouldn't be able to get out of it. After three buses and a lot of walking, she had finally arrived at the stately home and if he wasn't there, then she would simply wait until he was.

"Lizzie," Hannah said as the front door opened. Lizzie was stood there, her face slightly red and loose bits of hair stuck to her skin. "Is Tommy in?"

Lizzie gulped and nodded, moving her arm out of the way so Hannah could come inside. "He's in the bedroom, let me just go and get him."

Hannah nodded and waited patiently at the bottom of the grand staircase, a sight she had only ever seen in the movies or when she was a child and her mother paid for the family to go and tour one of the grand homes down in London. Hannah had fond memories of that day, she adored walking around the house and seeing all the paintings of people that used to live there and the gardens were just as lovely. Hannah didn't understand how someone could have their house open to tourists but at the same time, a part of her would want to show off as well.

"What are you doing here?" Tommy asked as he rushed down the stairs and attempted to button up his shirt at the same time.

There was a snigger from Hannah as she realised what Tommy and Lizzie had been up to and the fact that she had interrupted their private times together. She also didn't care, Tommy had ruined plenty of Hannah and Michael's times together.

"I wanted to talk to you about the whole mafia situation and I thought it would be better to do face-to-face rather than down the phone. I can see if you are lying to me if we do it like this. Your office?" Hannah suggested, not giving Tommy the time to respond as she walked towards the door where all the business meetings went down, the same place she had been arrested. Just being back in the home sent her mind wild as she remembered that horrific ten minutes where Tommy got everyone's hopes up, only to ruin them with a matter of words.

"Would you like a cup of tea?" Tommy asked.

"No, I'd like something stronger seen as I'm stuck in a room with you. I'm going to need it."

Tommy raised his eyebrows at Hannah's comment but proceeded to pour Hannah a glass of whiskey. She took it from him without a thank you and downed the drink in one, not flinching at the harshness of the beverage. She had grown used to the taste of booze since being with Michael and she was able to handle it a lot better than she did before.

"Have you had a meeting with that Luca person then?"

Hannah sat down on the other side of the desk, directly in front of Tommy. He looked down at some sheets on the desk as he racked his brain for an answer.

"No, I haven't but I'm sure it will come eventually. Why do you ask?"

"I want to know what's going on."

"You don't need to know, I'll sort it."

"I want to know," she emphasised, leaning her head forward to get the message across. "I don't know if you remember but a few days ago, my fiancé and your brother got shot multiple times because of this man. I want to know what is happening, when it's happening and if anyone is going to get hurt. That way I have a chance of protecting Michael as best as I can." There was a chuckle from Tommy, angering Hannah. "Why won't you take me serious, Tommy? Am I some sort of joke to you?"

"No, not at all. I just don't know what you are going to do about it all or how you can help. Luca isn't after you."

"No, but he's after Michael and that's enough. I know what you all think of me. Sweet, innocent, Hannah who wouldn't hurt a fly. She just goes about her day, spreading love and delivering babies. A nurse, a midwife, she's not dangerous." Hannah paused and raised her eyebrows, watching as Tommy remained silent. "But I love Michael and that's dangerous, it really is. If anything happens to him, you will not recognise me."

Hannah was embarrassed at the way that she was acting but she meant every word. She'd had enough of Michael always being dragged into everybody else's mess but he wouldn't stand up for himself, he couldn't see how damaging it was. Hannah, on the other hand, she saw that it was all going to end in disaster eventually and if she had too, she would put a stop to it before it led to Michael's death.

"I appreciate your concern but everything will be fine. I think you've had a wasted trip."

Hannah shook her head, "I haven't."

"And why's that?" Tommy asked as he watched Hannah stand up and put on her coat. There was confusion as he watched Hannah smirk and shout for Lizzie who soon came running through the door. Lizzie was stood awkwardly, slightly confused as to why she had been dragged into the conversation - she had no reason to be there.

"I just wanted to say congratulations," Hannah started as she looked between Tommy and Lizzie, the smirk refusing to leave her face. "You will make a fantastic mother, Lizzie."

"What are you going on about?" Lizzie asked.

"I'm a midwife, I'm not stupid and I know when someone is pregnant. i would say you are at least ten weeks gone, maybe a little less. You might want to go to the doctors and double check but I'm 99% sure that you are." Hannah looked back at Tommy who had a look of shock on his face - how was he possibly going to be a father with the war going on? "If you need someone to deliver your baby then you know where I am. Goodbye."

Hannah didn't even make it to the front door before Tommy was behind her, his hand grabbing onto her arm and stopping Hannah from going anywhere. "Why did you say that?"

"You have a reason to fight now, not some half-hearted attempt where someone ends up dead. Fight so that Charlie has a father and family and fight so that your unborn child has a father and family because if you don't, those kids will end up in that orphanage themselves and you don't want that. So, get working, get a meeting with Luca organised and end this war."

Hannah ripped her arm away from Tommy's grip before smoothing out her coat. She needed to keep up the confidence act going until she was away from Tommy. Hannah was proud of their little conversation and she hoped that she had proved herself to Tommy. She had always had temper but she never had a reason to fight but now she had Michael and she would do whatever she could to protect him.

+++

Michael was amused once he found out about Hannah's visit to Tommy's house, not being able to contain his giggles as Tommy told him the story.

"Well, congratulations," Michael chuckled as he tried to stop the growing smile on his face.

"Don't even start, Michael, it's not funny in the slightest," Tommy mumbled, not as impressed as everyone else seemed to be about the situation. He wasn't angry about being a father again, in fact he was quite pleased with it, it's just the fact that it didn't come at the right time. "Hannah was right though."

"What about Lizzie being pregnant?"

"Yes, that, but also right about the fact that I have something to fight for now. I can't have my child being raised in the middle of a war between ourselves and the mafia, it wouldn't be fair. Charlie has already been affected enough and I can't do it to another child."

"So, what are you going to do?"

"I'm going to sort this out before it's too late. I can't have this going on when my child is born, it needs to be wrapped quickly before things get way out of my control like last time," he replied, referring to having to dob his whole family into the police and watch them get sent away. "Did Hannah say anything about coming to see me?"

Michael shook his head. "I didn't know until you told me. Girl has guts, I'll give her that one."

"She's been around us lot for too long."

Michael laughed along with Tommy, he wasn't wrong. "I'll have a word with her and tell her to not make any more appearances at your house, or announce that you are going to be a dad again. I know what she is like though, Tom, and she won't give up without a fight. She wants this over and done with quickly so me and her can have a proper life without the constant worry."

"And I'll make sure it happens. I need to mend my relationship with Polly first and foremost before anything. I can't do any of this without her."

Michael nodded, he completely understood where Tommy was coming from. Polly was the one who calmed Tommy down when he was about to make stupid choices, she knew what was best for everybody and having Polly onside would make the whole situation a lot better. There would be rational choices instead of Tommy doing what he believed was best, which usually wasn't.

"I'll have a word with her and see what she has to say. I think she just wants an apology more than anything," Michael told him. Apologising wasn't Tommy's thing but he was willing to do it. "Hannah will be here soon and I don't know how she will react if she sees you."

Tommy got the hint and if he was being honest, he didn't want another argument with Hannah which she was most likely rooting for. "I have to nip over to John's house anyway and see if he's doing okay."

"Has he been sent home?"

"Yeah, last night. The only reason you are stuck in here is because of where the bullets ended up."

"I know. Hannah said something about a walking stick and everything, feel like a right twat."

Tommy chuckled before standing up. "It won't be for long, just until you can walk again."

It didn't stop Michael from feeling like an idiot. How was he supposed to help his family against the mafia if he was walking around with a limp and a walking stick? What happened had happened though and there was no need to dwell on it, at least he was still alive.

Michael had come on leaps and bounds though since his first arrival in the hospital a week prior. He was now sat up at one of the tables and was able to make short journeys with the help of the nurses or Hannah. He just wished that he was back at home in the comfort of his bed with Hannah, not having to worry about some intruders coming into his hospital room in the middle of the night to finish off the job.

As Michael sat at one of the tables, sipping on a cup of tea seen as Arthur had got caught trying to smuggle in some booze, the door opened and Hannah popped her head around.

"What are you doing?" puzzled Michael, baffled as to why Hannah wasn't entering the room.

"Have a guess," Hannah told him, too excited to say the words himself. Michael genuinely had no idea what Hannah was doing or going on about but he was curious to know. "You have to guess." 

"Hannah, love, I've got no fucking idea," he replied, raising his eyebrows in confusion. "Just tell me or show me." With a sigh, Hannah threw open the door and put her body into a pose, showing off her uniform. "Your back?"

"I'm back."

"For good?"

"Oh, yes." Hannah skipped over to Michael's table, twirling around to show off the midwifery uniform that she had missed so much. It felt good to be back in her old clothing. "Well, I can't go to prison again otherwise they will literally fire me for good but yeah, they've given me my job back. Don't I look good?" She sang as she looked at herself in the window, eyeing up her uniform with a jokey seductive expression.

"Come here," Michael beamed, bring Hannah in for a kiss, his hand going to the side of her neck. "I've missed seeing you in that uniform," he mumbled against her lips, smiling when she went back for more. "Forgot how pretty you looked in it."

Hannah giggled before moving to sit down besides Michael, she missed not being able to sit on his lap. "I won't do when I deliver a baby."

"The first time I met, you'd just delivered a baby, you looked beautiful then," Michael breathed as he grabbed onto Hannah's hand. "Always do."

"Stop it, you are embarrassing me," she mumbled, gently slapping his arm before leaning over to give him a kiss just so he knew that she appreciated every word that he said and that she always did.

"When do you start?" Michael questioned.

"Next Monday. I won't be delivering babies yet, it's just working at the clinics and doing my rounds while I get some patients."

"I told you that things will start to get better."

Things weren't going to get better though. If anything, they were going to get a whole lot worse.


	40. a surprise visit.

"I've been waiting for you."

Hannah almost had a heart attack as she walked into her bedroom, not expecting to be ambushed by Alexandra who was sat on Hannah's bed with that dreaded card in her hand. Hannah gulped before rushing over to grab it but she wasn't quick enough and Alexandra moved her hand away with speed before Hannah could get it. Hannah felt like stomping her feet in the ground like a teenager as she continued to try and grab the card.

"How did you find that?" Hannah asked, still attempting to grab hold of it. She didn't know why she was attempting to take it from Alexandra, it was obvious that her best friend had already read the card. Hannah just thought that if she could get it back then Alexandra wouldn't have the chance to share it with Sister Maria and Sister Margaret. She was only just back in their good books, she didn't need to be back at the bottom all over again.

"I was going to rearrange the bedroom around, sort it out seen as it's become a bit of a mess lately, and this fell from behind the draws, it's not a very good hiding place Hannah, I thought that you would have done better than that," Alexandra said with a sigh. "When was you going to tell me about all of this? It's not just something that you keep to yourself."

"There's nothing to tell, it's just a Christmas card, that's all, nothing else to it," Hannah said, hoping that Alexandra didn't know the meaning behind the black hand. If Hannah didn't know, then she was sure that Alexandra wouldn't either. However, Alexandra continued to surprise Hannah, turns out she knew exactly what a black hand meant within criminal organisations.

"Then why are you acting all shady if it doesn't mean anything. I'm not an idiot, Hannah, so just tell me the truth. This has something to do with what happened on Christmas Day, doesn't it?"

Hannah shook her head adamantly, how was she going to get out of this one? "I have no idea what you mean, Alexandra. Can I have it back now?"

"Why was it hidden?" Alexandra questioned, her eyes squinted as if she was trying to read Hannah's body language.

"I didn't mean to hide it, must have fell down the back of the draws by itself. Can I have it back now please?" Hannah held her hand out with a fake smile on her face, Alexandra still didn't give it to her.

"I know what a black hand means, you know? It's something that the Italian's use when they are using - "

"Can I have the card back please?" Hannah interrupted, her voice louder and sterner. She was starting to lose patience.

"Was it the Italians that shot Michael and John? You know you can tell me anything, I won't judge and I won't care. Well, I will a little bit but that's beside the point. Are you in danger? Has Michael dragged you into more mess? We can send you down to London if you need protection for a while, I know that the main hospital down there was looking for new employees."

"Alexandra!" Hannah shouted before taking a deep breath. "Please, just give me the card back before I say or do something that I will regret."

Hesitantly, Alexandra gave Hannah the card, her eyes never leaving Hannah's. Alexandra wanted to know the truth and she wanted to know it there and then so she could keep in the loop about what was going on in Hannah's private life. Maybe she didn't have the right to know but she was concerned and worried about whatever was happening was going to affect Hannah in a bad way.

"Just tell me the truth, Hannah, otherwise no-one can help you out."

"I don't need any help, I promise. It's just some daft vendetta that Tommy has with the Italians but it doesn't involve me in the slightest and it never will, alright? As for Christmas Day, Michael and John were just in the wrong place at the wrong time. It was a case of mistaken identity," Hannah said in an attempt to brush it off as nothing. "Do you know what's the lunch?"

"Stop changing the subject and tell me the truth. I know you well enough to know when you are lying through your back teeth and you are doing it right now. Are you involved in anyway? Like, was this card meant for you and Michael or just Michael? Everyone around here knows about the Italian's and how dangerous they are, there was some trouble with them a few years ago before you'd even arrived, poor Danny."

Hannah didn't know what Alexandra was going on about and she didn't care, all she wanted was to shut the conversation down before one of the other nurses or sisters overheard their discussion, it would only lead to a quarrel.

"Please, just leave it, Alexandra. I really don't want to discuss it right now."

Hannah wanted nothing more but a hot bath and some time to relax before another evening shift at work. She had spent most of the morning at the hospital with Michael, the two of them chatting about whatever pleased them. It was the most chilled morning they had gotten to enjoy in a while, with cups of tea and toast whenever they pleased. It was as if they were a normal couple for once, if you took away the fact, they were sat in a hospital ward.

"Okay, fine but if anything happens then don't come running back to me because I've tried to help and it's obvious you don't want it," Alexandra sighed as she lit a cigarette. "I don't know how you can live like this, I really don't. Does it not scare you?"

"Of course, it does but I'm not going to run away whenever there is trouble otherwise, I'd always be running. This whole Italian situation doesn't involve me so it's none of my concern and I won't be hurt so that's that."

Alexandra wasn't fully convinced. She knew that there was more to the situation that Hannah was letting on, deeper and darker secrets that weren't going to be exposed for a while yet and Alexandra would be there, waiting with a 'I told you so face' when Hannah was upset and crying about how the latest Shelby war had affected her. There was only so much you could do for a person that didn't want to be helped and walked around blindly unaware of the complications that would soon blow up in their face.

"Ada came by to see you," Alexandra said with an uninterested tone, acting as if she was angry at Hannah when the truth it, she wasn't, she was just worried about what all of this trouble was going to do to her. "She told me to tell you that she would be down Watery Lane if you ever wanted to talk to her."

"Talk to her about what?"

"I don't know, I was more focused on that lovely dress she was wearing," Alexandra said.

Hannah rolled her eyes before mentally noting down that she was to visit Ada. Hannah had only met Ada a handful of times and she seemed like a decent woman that knew what she wanted in life, she had also managed to escape Birmingham which Hannah was slightly jealous of. It was what she could only hope and dream about.

All of the Shelby family had moved back onto Watery Lane with Tommy claiming that it was better if they all stuck together, that way they could defeat their enemies. It seemed as if Polly and Tommy had also made up, the two of them on talking terms again but nothing like before, it would take time for that relationship to come back. Being back on Watery Lane was torturing Tommy however, he hadn't missed it at all and he couldn't wait to get back to the privacy of his fancy house where he had maids to do every little thing for him. It was inconvenient for Tommy, being back in Small Heath, and it also reminded him of what he once had with Grace, memories coming back of their first time knowing each other and before they had married and moved into the house he know occupied alone.

"I'm going to go for a walk before dinner, do you need anything from the shops?" Hannah asked as she put her coat back on. She had planned to stay inside and relax for a while but she couldn't stand being under Alexandra's judgemental stare and she needed to get away from it all. It also gave Alexandra a chance to calm down after her little discovery.

"I'm fine, thank you," Alexandra replied with a soft smile. "Just do me a favour and get rid of that letter before someone else finds it because I know that they won't be as laid back as me and if the sister's find out about all of this then it won't just be you losing your job, it will be me as well for keeping it from them."

Hannah agreed, she didn't want to put Alexandra's livelihood on the line because of her personal life, it just wasn't fair.

"I'll dispose of it, I promise. I will be back before my shift starts for something to eat. I am sorry about all of this, I didn't want you to know for this exact reason."

"Just don't worry about it, Han. Like you said, things will sort themselves out but don't get yourself hurt, not for anybody."

Over the time that Michael was in prison, Hannah noticed that the way that people looked at her had changed. They used to look at her with respect before because of her work in the community as a midwife and also because everyone was terrified of what Michael, or even the other Shelby's, would do if anyone ever disrespected her. There was something quite empowering about walking down the street and not having anyone give you funny looks, or try something on with you like they used to do before Michael came onto the scene, it gave Hannah a newfound confidence that she had never had before. But as soon as Michael went to prison, and Hannah was released, the looks changed to sympathy - she didn't know what was worse: men gawping at her or having everybody feel sorry for her.

There was nothing more tragic than walking down the street and having a large portion of the residents stand and stare with soft smiles, some even praying that Michael came out alive, it was odd as well. Most of the residents claimed to hate the Shelby's and all of the trouble that they brought to the streets but majority of them cared, loved and respected them more than anything. They enjoyed having the protection if it was needed. Of course, there was a few elderly members of Small Heath who acted as if the blinders were the scum of the earth but that was expected, you couldn't please everybody. One resident had even called Hannah a honorary Shelby, she never repeated those two words again. 

Not on part of her wanted to be a Shelby, she wanted to be a Gray.

+++

Being down by Charlie's yard was an odd experience. There were times when she loved it as she was able to watch Charlie unload and load stuff onto the boats and also watch Curly as he handled and looked after the horses. Hannah can't even remember how she ended up striking up a conversation with Charlie but she didn't regret it at all, he was able to give her wise words whenever she needed them and it gave her a chance to get away from the convent.

However, there was other times when she couldn't seem to get away from either the convent or Tommy Shelby and today was one of those days.

"Excuse me, would you be able to help me?"

Hannah looked up to see a woman that she did not recognise, she did not look like she belonged in Small Heath at all with her expensive hat, designer dresses and perfectly styled hair. Hannah felt like a state as she stood beside her with a messy uniform on that had stains on it from doing the morning rounds, a bare face and curly hair that was starting to fall out.

"Depends what you want help with..." Hannah trailed off in hopes of getting the women's name.

"My name is May Carleton and I'm here to see Tommy Shelby."

Hannah started to laugh loudly, of course she did. "I don't know where he is, I'm afraid. Why would someone like you want to be around someone like him, anyway?" Hannah asked with genuine curiosity. "Did he make you fall in love with him as well?" When May looked down at the floor, Hannah realised that she was correct. "Well, good luck to you."

"Why do you ask? Are you in love with him?"

Hannah's eyes widened at the thought. "Please don't suggest anything like that again otherwise I might be sick, I struggle to look at him most days," Hannah joked. "I'm Michael's fiancée, Hannah, it's nice to meet you."

"Oh, I guess that makes sense then. Does that mean that you can take me to Tommy, I'm meant to be picking up a horse."

"I genuinely don't know where he is at the moment but I doubt he will have time to deal with you, no offence, miss. It's just there's a lot going on."

"With his wife?"

"Grace? She died a while back, keep up." Hannah stood up and smiled kindly at May, another fool seeking Tommy Shelby in hope of love, more than likely. Hannah just couldn't see the attraction, he was way too much trouble for her liking and came with more luggage than anyone she had ever known. "If you do want to find him then you are best off going down Watery Lane or speak to Charlie or Curly, they will send someone to find Tommy. Until then, I have to go and get cleaned up for my shift. It was nice to meet you, May."

May smiled at Hannah's attitude, personality and curiosity. "And you, Hannah."

+++

Hannah took a deep breath along with the mother who was giving birth. It was Hannah's first delivery since being reinstated as a midwife under the convents name. It was a daunting experience - could she remember everything? The midwifery bag was a puzzle to Hannah as she tried to learn where everything was again but like Michael had said, everything came rushing back and it wasn't long before Hannah was feeling like a proper midwife again.

"Just one more push, Mrs. Green and your baby will be with you," Hannah said, encouraging the first-time mother to give all of her strength. "It won't be long now."

And Hannah was right. With one long push, the baby entered the world with a loud scream and plenty of healthy cries, a sound that Hannah had missed greatly. There was smiles all around as Hannah cut the imbecile cord and wiped the baby down.

"A little girl," Hannah whispered as she handed Mrs. Green's baby over to her, the mother's pain instantly vanishing as she looked down at her new-born child. "I bet that feels good, doesn't it?"

"Amazing, nurse," Mrs. Green said proudly, the biggest grin on her face. "I bet you can't wait to experience this."

Hannah chuckled as she moved over to some hot water to wash her hands. "I don't think I'm ready to have children yet but definitely one day."

"With Michael?"

Hannah nodded. "He will make a great father, you know? I can already see it. The way that he is with John's kids is wonderful."

Mrs. Green smiled, she could picture it. Being the wife of one of the factory workers meant that Mrs. Green had access to the blinders whenever she wanted and her husband was well-respected within the blinder family so she saw Michael often and she wasn't one of those people that constantly judged the actions of the family and what they did.

"I can see it." Mrs. Green attempted to sit up slightly but fell back in pain.

"Be careful, we still need to wait for the after-birth to come," Hannah informed her, gently pushing the woman back down and making her more comfortable. "While we wait for that, I'm going to get cleaned up and I want you to have some skin-to-skin contact with..."

"Lisa, her names going to be Lisa."

"Well you and Lisa need to bond so get on with that. I will ring up the betting shop and inform your husband that you've given birth to a healthy little girl."

Mrs. Green thanked Hannah before telling her where the mobile phone was. Hannah was impressed with the size of the house and how beautiful it was inside, it all came from her husband's work and Hannah wondered how many crimes he had committed in order to get all this. During her relationship with Michael, she had figured out that those who did the more horrific dirty work where the ones who were paid more.

"Hello." It was Tommy who answered the phone.

"Hi, it's Hannah."

There was a long sigh before Tommy spoke up, "If you've rang me for another argument then I don't want it, alright?"

"I don't want an argument. Could you just let Marcus know that he is officially a father, it's a little girl," Hannah said, wanting to get the conversation over and done with.

"Yeah, I'll let him leave early so he can come home."

Hannah went to put the phone down before realising that she had to inform Tommy of May's visit, whoever she was. "I was down at the yard earlier and a woman approached me, she was looking for you."

Tommy ran a hand over his face, he couldn't deal with any more trouble from anybody, he didn't care who it was. "Did you manage to get the name of this woman?"

"Yeah, it was May, I can't remember her last name though, something post."

Tommy sighed. "Yeah, I know who you mean. I need to go but it was nice talking to you."

"Okay."

Hannah put the phone down and went back into the bedroom where Mrs. Green was smiling down at her daughter, Hannah couldn't wait for that to be her.

"Right, let's get this after-birth sorted out and then you can have some well-earned rest."

+++

There was something unusually quiet about the convent when Hannah walked in which was odd, there was usually some commotion going off. If it wasn't Alexandra complaining about some missing nail varnish, it would be Sister Maria flying around the hallways as she tried to organise the rota and home visits.

"Hello," Hannah shouted out as she slipped her shoes off at the door, the best feeling in the world after being on her feet and walking around all day. "Is anybody in?"

That's when Hannah heard some sort of laughter from the living room, it sounded like Sister Margaret was finding something amusing. As she walked over to the living room to see what was happening, Hannah took a quick look at that rota and saw that all of the midwifes were out on duty which explained how silent it was.

"Sister Margaret, do we have company?" Hannah asked cheerfully as she walked into the living room, taking note of the stranger that was sat on one of the sofas, a cup of tea in their hand.

"Hannah, how did the birth go?"

Hannah couldn't take her eyes off the random person, there was something off.

"It went well. Who is this?" Hannah pointed towards the stranger who was looking at Hannah with a grin on his face.

"This is - " Sister Margaret started, only to be cut off by the man himself.

"Let me introduce myself," he started as he stood up and walked towards Hannah. Her whole body froze at that sound of the accent. "I'm Luca Changretta, it's an absolute pleasure to meet you, Miss Anderson."


	41. luca.

"It's lovely to meet you," Hannah said with a fake smile as she shook Luca's hand, cringing as he brought her hand up to his mouth to place a kiss there. She had to put up a fake act for Sister Margaret, Hannah couldn't let her visage slip. "Why are you here at the convent if you don't mind me asking? It's not every often that we get visitors such as yourself."

Sister Margaret piped up to explain. It was obvious that she had been taken in by Luca's charm. "Do you remember last year when you and Father Hughes were discussing fundraising events to help raise money for the convent? Well, we all know what happened there but luckily, Luca here heard about it and he is offering to help us. Isn't that wonderful news, Hannah?"

"Oh, is he? That is lovely of you. What a kind, sweet gentleman you are." Hannah smiled at Luca, who was grinning back at her, but Hannah's eyes said something different and Luca knew this. "Would you like to go and discuss some fundraising ideas in private? I think I still have some notes written down from my time with Father Hughes."

"It would be my pleasure, Miss Anderson. Goodbye, Sister Margaret, I hope to speak with you soon."

Sister Margaret nodded with enthusiasm. "I'm sure we will. You are more than welcome to come over to the convent whenever you want to discuss ideas."

Hannah directed Luca through to the kitchen before Sister Margaret could say anything else. Hannah's heart was racing in complete fear, terrified of what Luca was going to do or say. As soon as he had entered the room, Hannah slammed the door shut and her smile instantly dropped.

"What are you doing here?" she asked, voice shaking slightly as Luca reached his hand into his trousers pocket. "If you're going to kill me then just get it over and done with but I just want you to know that God will be watching." If anyone was there, they would have laughed at how pathetic Hannah was being.

"I'm not going to kill you, Hannah," he mumbled, his voice to calm for her liking. "I'm a religious man, I wouldn't kill a young woman in a holy-place."

"So why are you here then?" Hannah questioned as she moved around the kitchen so she was away from him. Just being in the same room as Luca was making her feel sick, she hated the affect that he had on her. It was hard to scare Hannah but this was a dangerous man on a completely different level to Tommy.

"I just wanted to come and talk to you, see how you was doing. I have a feeling that Christmas Day was very hard and traumatic for you, I can only offer my deepest apologises." Too cool, the man was too cool and calm. Nothing seemed to faze him, not even the fact that one of the Shelby's could easily walk into the convent if they truly wanted to and kill Luca there and then. He was in the middle of Small Heath, completely alone without any men, and he wasn't frightened in the slightest.

"I think that's an understatement, don't you? Your men are the reason that Michael is currently in the hospital, do you know how that feels? To have the man that you adore, laid on a hospital bed, blood pouring out of him because he nearly shot to death."

"Do you love him?" Luca asked, completely ignoring everything that Hannah had said. Of course, he knew how it felt, he had lost his dear brother and father but he wasn't going to show any weakness in front of Hannah. Luca would never lower his guard.

Hannah moved to the cupboards in hope of finding something alcoholic, failing miserably. Of course, she wasn't going to find anything downstairs, the sisters didn't permit it and Hannah didn't dare leave Luca alone in the kitchen. She was petrified that she would walk back in with a gun pointed straight at her head.

"Of course, I do, I imagine that you don't know a lot about love," Hannah clipped as she slammed the cupboard door shut.

"And what's that meant to mean?"

"You are just so angry, aren't you? I can't imagine you being in love with someone or anyone loving you for that matter. How could anyone love a man who attempts to kill an innocent man?" Hannah raised both eyebrows as she smirked.

"I'm angry? You are the one who just about took the cupboard door off."

Luca chuckled as he lit a cigarette before pointing over towards the side where an ashtray was placed. Hannah nervously gave it to him before sitting down at the table, Luca following her actions and sitting across from the nervous lass. Hannah's heart was racing too quickly, she thought she was going to explode if she didn't calm down and prove to Luca that she wasn't scared of him. It was blatantly obvious that Hannah was petrified, all Luca had to do was quickly glance as her and she would be looking down at the ground like a dog that had just been told off.

"Michael is not innocent either, far from it. I don't know what he has told you but I figure that it's not the complete truth."

"He had absolutely nothing to do with the death of your brother and father!" Hannah snapped, her anger getting the better off her. However, she quickly turned the volume in her voice down as she remembered that Sister Margaret was only down the hallway and she could easily listen in if she wanted too. "He wasn't even there when they were killed, he was with me!"

"He is still associated with them, still family, still has their blood running through his veins and that's enough." When Luca spoke, his voice was laced with poison. You could sense the anger radiating off his body, his expression hardening as he thought about the death of his brother and father, it was unneeded in Luca's eyes, there was no reason for them to be dead. "My poor mother, I am doing this for my mother."

"You could be doing it for the king, it wouldn't make any difference to me. You are still targeting innocent people for no reason at all." Hannah paused as she lit her own cigarette, praying it would calm her down before she got even more hot-headed. She wanted to get her point across and maybe raising her voice would be the way to do that but she didn't want to anger him to the point that he murdered her without mercy. "Why are you so evil?"

"I am not evil, I am just simply getting revenge on the Shelby's. They murdered my family. Would you not do the same?" Luca questioned. He knew the answer and he wanted to make Hannah see things from him point of view but it wasn't going to work.

"Yes, I would but I wouldn't go about it the way that you are. It's cruel and it's mean and I don't like it, especially when my partner is in the middle of it all."

"I'm sorry about that, I truly am. It was never my intention to hurt you. Michael, on the other hand, oh, I had every intention on killing him and that John."

Hannah chuckled at that. "You failed though, didn't you? I mean, what kind of men do you have? They couldn't even shut two defenceless men to death. I think you need to have a look at who you are hiring to do your dirty work," Hannah replied, another chuckle slipping from her mouth after she had taken a drag on her cigarette.

Luca didn't like Hannah's comment, he knew that she was right. He had failed already and it wasn't good for his reputation both here and back in America. It only gave him the fuel to work harder and make sure that every member of the Shelby family suffered a harsh and painful death.

"You are unbelievable, do you know that? What are you even doing here anyway? How did you know about me and Father Hughes wanting to do fundraising together?" Hannah asked.

"I've done my research, Miss Anderson, like I always do about the people I am after. I know everything about you. Things from your childhood, when you earned your qualifications, where you live, where you've lived, your parents, the people that you live with... the list goes on and on," he explained with a snigger.

Hannah leaned forward as she stubbed out her cigarette before looking up at Luca. "Anyone would think you was in love with me." Luca chuckled, amused with Hannah's attitude. "Well you can take your 'research' and you can get out of this convent right now because you have no right to be here and all I have to do is walk out of here and tell Sister Margaret exactly who you are and trust me, she will ring the police or even worse, I'll ask her to call Tommy."

"The reason I did my research Hannah was because I just wanted to check you out, see what was happening and if you need to join your husband in hospital." Luca ignored everything that Hannah said again, he knew that she wasn't going to tell Sister Margaret his true intention for coming to the convent, it would only get her into trouble.

"I'm not going to do anything, who do you think I am? I am simply a midwife who is trying to get on with her life, with the man that she loves, but people like you and Tommy Shelby keep getting in the way and stopping us from doing that!"

"Do you not like Mr. Shelby?" Luca's interest perked up at the revelation, maybe he could use it to his own advantage.

"If you had done your research properly then you will know that I can't stand to look at the man without getting the need to punch him in the face," she snarled.

"Want to join me in taking him down?" Luca joked as he leaned back in his chair, watching as Hannah's face twisted in confusion - he couldn't be serious.

"Just get out right now before I do or say something I regret. It's been a pleasure to meet you but I hope it never happens again because if I am being honest, you make me feel sick."

Hannah scrapped her chair across the floor as she stood up and walked around towards the door. She was going to wait until Luca was stood before she opened it, she couldn't risk anyone overhearing their conversation.

"I like you, Hannah, there is something about you. Maybe you should stop pretending."

"Pretending?"

"Yeah, you know what I mean. It's obvious that you have a temper and its ready to come out and do some damage. maybe you are more like the Shelby family than you think, you just don't want to admit to it."

The man was so full of himself it made Hannah feel sick. Just because he had done his research on her, it didn't mean that he knew how she felt on the inside and he never would thankfully. Hannah just had to keep a brave face as she waited patiently for him to stand up and exit the kitchen.

"I am not like them," Hannah responded, hoping that if she finished the conversation quickly, he would leave.

"Keep telling that yourself kid but one day, you'll know exactly what I mean."

"No, I won't. Now leave before I scream and people come running."

"I'm going, I'm going. Once again, a pleasure to get to know you miss Anderson and if you ever need anything, just let me know and I will give it to you." Luca grabbed hold of Hannah's hand again, repeating the action from earlier by placing another kiss onto the skin. When he left go, Hannah made the effort to wiping the back of her hand on her uniform, Luca sniggering at the action.

"Wait, what are you going to do about Michael?" she asked quickly, moving her hand across the doorway so he couldn't leave. "Are you going to kill him?"

"I don't know yet, we will just have to see what happens. I have a date now with a lady that you are familiar with, I believe that we are going to have a drink. I'll decide what I am going to do with your precious Michael afterwards. Tell him that I said hello."


	42. parents.

Hannah struggled to sleep that night, constantly reminded of her 'meeting' with Luca. It was appalling, everything about it, and it made her feel disgusting after he had left. Just being around of him gave her the creeps, his nature so low-key and nonchalant, Hannah wondered if he was real. It was blatantly obvious that there was no stopping him, his determination a killer characteristic that would land Tommy and everybody else in deep trouble if they didn't sort it out quickly. 

Sister Margaret hadn't shut up about Luca since his visit, proving that his charisma worked on many people. She couldn't believe that someone had offered to help with the fundraising again, she had even asked Hannah to get involved which was a shock. Hannah wouldn't do it though, never in a million years and neither would Luca, he only used it as an excuse to see Hannah. 

The fact that he knew so much about her, including things from her childhood, worried Hannah a lot. How did he even find this information out? It had made Hannah want to do something then she had been putting off since her time in prison and that was ring her parents. Although Hannah didn't visit them anymore, mainly because they didn't agree with her choice in career, it didn't change the fact that she loved them. A few letters were exchanged between them but Hannah had made no attempt to contact them since her prison stretch, ashamed of what she had done and how they would react to their only child being engaged to a gangster. 

It needed to be done though, Hannah wanted to make sure that they were safe and that Luca and his men had not visited or threatened them in order to get information about Hannah. 

"Hannah," her mother said over the phone, a mixture of happiness, disappointment and anger at the sound of her daughter's voice. "It's been a long time since we spoke, how have you been?" 

Hannah was non-vocal, unable to say what she needed to say. She didn't want the conversation to go on for too long, it was already awkward and Hannah wanted to try and keep as many details about her life at Birmingham out of the conversation. 

"I've been well, thank you, how are you and dad?" 

"We've been fine, worried about you though. We didn't know if you were dead or alive after everything that happened last year," Hannah's mother said, the tone of her voice confirming all of Hannah's worse fears. She had a feeling that the news had got back to her parents but a small part of her prayed that she was wrong. 

Hannah chuckled and put on her 'stupid' act. "What do you mean, last year? Nothing happened mum." Hannah's voice was too sweet and soft, it was the worst performance of Hannah's life.

"You don't need to lie to me, we know everything." 

"How?" Hannah's voice going back to normal. There was no way that her parents could have found out unless someone had gone back and told them. Updates on gangsters weren't exactly her parents' choice of reading and when Hannah had been released, she checked all of the papers and her name wasn't mentioned once. 

"We got a bit concerned when the letters stopped so we rang the convent. You had been released from prison at that point and luckily you weren't in when we rang otherwise, we would be clueless about it. I spoke to an older woman who told absolutely everything, wasn't what I expected when I first rang up but after hearing about this Michael bloke, I can't say I was surprised." 

Hannah could already picture her mother's judgemental face, full of displeasure and agitation as she tried to figure out where she had gone wrong. They always believed that they had brought Hannah up correctly with the right values to help her get through life. Not once had Hannah been subjected to violence or gangsters, she had always been brought up in a devoted household. Yes, they hadn't gone about it the right way when Hannah announced that she was becoming a midwife and moving to Birmingham - maybe if they had been supportive, Hannah wouldn't have ended up in the situation that she was in - but they still cared and loved their daughter, even if she had messed up big time. 

"So, you've heard about Michael then?" Hannah rubbed one hand over her face as she tried to calm herself down, this was all going to go West.

"Yes, and I've heard about the family as well. I thought you'd do better for yourself, thought you'd find a respectable man who earned an honest living wage, provide you with a safe life. Not a - " Hannah's mother paused and thought hard. "A gangster." 

Hannah didn't want safe, at least not yet. 

"You don't know Michael mum so please don't start judging. I have a good feeling it was Sister Maria who updated you on my situation and gave you information on Michael and the Shelby's," Hannah paused as she waited for her mother to correct her, when she didn't, Hannah knew that she was right. Not one part of her was angry with Sister Maria though. "You don't know the full story either, nobody outside of the family knows but me, so you can't have a proper judgement." 

"I have the right to have an opinion about Michael, especially as he's the reason that you ended up in jail for a little while. How would you feel if that was your daughter?" 

"You never cared before so why do you care now? You knew what I was going through and yet you made no contact, didn't bother to see if I was okay. I was absolutely terrified of telling you and you've known all along. Why didn't you just say something?" 

"Why didn't you?" Hannah's mother shouted, her voice bellowing through the speaker. Hannah looked down at the ground, it had been ages since she had been shouted at by her mother. "What if you get killed?" 

"I'm not going to get killed," Hannah said with a chuckle, acting as if it was the most stupid thing ever but she knew deep down that there was a chance it could happen. After Luca's visit last night, Hannah was on the edge and she didn't know what was going to happen in the future. All she could do was hope that Luca backed away from herself and Michael.

"How do you know that? It's obvious that this family are extremely dangerous. I spoke to a couple of girls down at the luncheon club after my chat with one of the nuns and some of the stories they told me was absolutely disgusting! Your father couldn't quite believe it either but he didn't say much, you know what he's like. Apparently, they had some business down in London, people were petrified to leave the streets in case they get cut or whatever they do to their poor victims. How could you hang around with people who kill others? The whole family seem repulsive..." Hannah's mother continued to ramble, saying some horrid and very untrue stuff about the Shelby family.

Her mother was acting as if she knew the Shelby's personally even though she had never met them in her entire life. Hannah knew exactly what her mother had done. After her conversation with Sister Maria, she would have spoken to as many people as possible down in London and would have found whatever information she could about the family and what they did for a living meaning she wouldn't get the entire truth. She would get fabricated, over-the-top stories from people who had heard rumours. 

"Yes, they are but Michael isn't. He's kind and he loves me - " 

"Loves you? Don't be daft, Hannah," her mother cut off, laughing as she spoke. 

"Why are you being so rude?" Hannah asked, shocked at the lack of care from her mother. 

Hannah knew right from the start that her parents wouldn't approve of their relationship, they had always wanted Hannah to settle down with a normal man with a stable job but Hannah never did what her parents wanted, it had been that way since she was a teenager. 

"I'm not being rude, I'm being realistic. Men like Michael Gray and the Shelby brothers do not fall in love with girls like you, never in a million years. He will soon find another girlfriend - " 

"I'm not his girlfriend." 

"What, have you broken up? Well, I can't say I'm not surprised." There was glimmer of excitement in her mother's tone of voice. Hannah couldn't wait to tell her truth, it would shut her up for a few moments. 

"No." Hannah stood up straight, even though her mother couldn't see her, and smiled proudly. "I'm his fiancée and I can't wait to be a Mrs. Gray." 

"Are you having me on Hannah because it's not funny in the slightest? You can't marry a gangster. Michael is evil and you know it. The man killed a priest for crying out loud, what kind of monster does that?" Her mothers' tone of voice had changed completely from hopeful to completely shocked and disgusted. There was poison in her voice as she cursed a little, struggling to understand why her child would want to be associated with such despicable people (at least that's what they were in her eyes).

"I can do what I want. You lost the right to tell me what you tried to stop me from following my dreams," Hannah argued, not wanting to let her mother believe that she knew best. She had never met Michael, she could not judge him for his actions without knowing the truth. 

Hannah wasn't going to give her mother the truth either, she had lost the right and if this phone call had done anything, it had just made Hannah realise that she would never let her mother meet Michael, she didn't deserve too after her judgement. Hannah was not going to give her the honour of seeing the real Michael, the person that only she truly saw. 

"I thought I was doing best. I didn't want you to move up to Birmingham and judging by how you've turned out, I had a good reason to be worried." 

"I've turned out fine, not that you would know because you never make any attempt to contact me. I officially completed all of my midwifery qualifications and I am now fully trained, I've delivered nearly ten babies in the last week as well as doing morning rounds and I have two new families. So, yeah, I am doing well and you have no reason to be worried about me." 

"Congratulations on passing all of your exams and stuff but what do you mean by two families? You have one family and we are here in London," exploded her mother, not quite believing what she was hearing. 

"Yeah, the nurses and nuns." Hannah paused for dramatic effect, not that it did anything. "And the Shelby's." 

"The Shelby's are not your family and they never will be so don't even start that." 

"They will though, won't they? They've done more for me over these last couple of years than you have done. Polly, Michael's mother but I'm sure you know that, has been like my mum. She has looked after me, took me in and cared for me. You haven't bothered to come and see me once and I think that says a lot about our relationship." Maybe Hannah was being a bit harsh but, in that moment,, she didn't care. "Me and Michael are setting a date for our wedding in the next couple of weeks and we've spoken about children." 

"I won't have any of my grandchildren raised in that environment with gypsy blood, did you honestly think I would stand here and allow you to raise children with him?"

"Well, it's a good job you won't be seeing them then." 

"You can't do that," Hannah's mother said slowly. "They will be only grandchildren." 

"Oh, yes I can. If you can't accept the fact that me and Michael are happy, that I am with a man that I completely adore and who treats me with respect and love then I want nothing to do with you." Hannah took a deep breath as she tried to calm herself down. Was she being irrational? Possibly. Did she really care? Nope. "The sooner I change my last name to Gray, the better." 

"Hannah - " 

"It's been lovely to speak to you but I must go now. Michael is expecting me and I can't let him down." 

"Hannah, let's talk about this." Hannah's mother was suddenly realising what she had done wrong. Her harsh words about Michael had caused more damage than she had anticipated. 

"You had your chance to discuss things with me and you blew it the moment you started slating Michael without knowing the truth. I think this has been a long time coming if I am being honest with you." 

"And what is that supposed to mean?" 

"I don't want anything to do with you while you are like this. God, a part of me hoped that you might have changed but I was so wrong." Hannah gulped and wiped away a tear. It was hard for her to cut ties with her mother but maybe it needed to be done. There had been plenty of chances for her mother to make an effort, plenty of chances for Hannah to make an effort but the fact that none of them had really did say a lot about what their relationship had become. "Tell Dad that I love him and that if he wants to talk me, he knows the number. Goodbye mum."

As soon as Hannah had put the phone down, she began to sob. She had just chosen Michael over her own mother and that petrified her. A part of Hannah didn't want a relationship with her mother anyway, there had been too much tension since the start of Hannah's career, it was basically non-existent but that phone call didn't make things any easier. 

She could understand her mother's concerns in the first place, it was natural to worry about your kids but Hannah couldn't stand what she was saying about Michael, the evil things that were coming from her mouth where unneeded. It wouldn't have been hard for Hannah's mother to be polite and listen to Hannah's side of the story but she chose to listen to others, just like she always did. 

"Are you okay?" Nurse Sophie asked as she walked down the stairs. Hannah was positive that she had overheard the conversation but was not saying anything in case it upset Hannah any further. 

Hannah wasn't going to let it bring her down for much longer though and she swiftly sorted herself out. "I will be fine, thank you for asking. I'm going to go down to the hospital to go and see Michael so if you need me then just ring the main desk." 

+++

Michael knew that there was something wrong with Hannah. There was sadness in her eyes that was never usually there which concerned him - what had occurred? 

"Oi," Michael said softly as he placed his finger under Hannah's chin to lift her head up so she was no longer staring at the wooden table. He took note of the puffy eyes which signalled that she had been crying which worried him greatly. "What's happened, my love?" 

Hannah shook her head and looked back down at the table. "I don't want to talk about it." 

"We made a promise, remember?" 

Hannah wiped underneath her eyes as she mentally cursed that promise. Michael had a right to know about everything that had happened within the last twenty-four hours, including her meeting with Luca. She was just terrified of Michael's reaction when he found out that Luca had been in Hannah's home. 

"I rang my mum earlier, wanted to see how she was and what not," Hannah started, lying slightly already. "We spoke and then we argued and then I basically told her that I never wanted to speak to her again. God, it was awful, Michael..." Hannah almost wanted to laugh at the situation, it wasn't what she had expected on a Tuesday morning. "She was saying some really cruel things about you and everybody and I couldn't stand listening to it. The bloody woman has been asking people down in London about you lot and of course she got the wrong end of the stick like she always does." 

Michael didn't expect that. He presumed that Hannah had got involved in an argument with the nuns or something and that she was worried about her job being on the line again. A part of him felt extremely responsible for Hannah's falling out with her mother, he never wanted to get in the way of them both. 

"Why did you do that?" 

"It's been a long time coming, Michael and that phone conversation just gave me the fuel to do it. She's just not a nice woman and I don't want to associate myself with her anymore. The way she has treated me over the last five years, not encouraging me to follow my dreams, trying to stop me from moving here and now bloody walking around London to ask people about you, it's complete madness," Hannah said. She wanted Michael to understand where she was coming from. 

"You chose me over your own mother?" 

"I'd choose you over anyone!" Hannah exclaimed, she thought that had been made clear by now. "I don't want to talk about my mother if I am being honest because all she does is boil my blood." 

"What about your father?"

"He's quiet, doesn't really say much. If he wants to talk to me then he can but I doubt he will phone or come and visit, wouldn't want to upset my mum," Hannah replied. "I told her that she wouldn't even be able to see our kids..." 

"Hannah!"

"Yes, I know. It was pretty harsh that bit but she wouldn't have accepted them in anyway. They'd have 'gypsy blood' as she would say," Hannah replied, mocking her mother's accent that she falsely put on to impress her higher-class friends. "Let's just not talk about her, please." 

Michael changed the conversation to something random, Hannah half-listening and nodding along every few sentences - her mind was just elsewhere. Michael picked up on this and leaned over to place his hand on her knee in an attempt to comfort her. Hannah smiled softly and placed her hand on top, the skin-on-skin contact making her feel better already. She didn't need her parents or London, all she needed was Michael. People could believe that things wouldn't work out between them, Hannah didn't care at all, she knew that she belonged with Michael and that things would somehow work themselves out. 

"Stop worrying that pretty little head of yours," Michael said softly, his head slightly down so he could look at Hannah directly. "We don't need anybody else." 

"I know, it doesn't stop - " 

"Michael, your mother is here." 

Both Hannah and Michael turned their head at the same time, it couldn't be Polly. She had only left an hour beforehand to go and see Tommy about some business and would not be back for another few hours. 

"My mother?"

The nurse nodded, not quite catching onto the confusion, before leaving to allow the woman in. It was so silent that you could have heard a pin drop as Rosemary walked through the door, a bag in her hand and an apprehensive smile on her face. 

"What are you doing here?" Michael asked, his tone more unpleasant than what he had predicted. Hannah hastily gave him a warning look, telling him through her eyes that he had to be gracious. 

Rosemary moved slowly, her eyes flickering back to Hannah who was encouraging her to speak. Maybe it would be good for Michael to speak things out with his mother like she had done, clear some air. 

"I read about what had happened in the paper and I came up as soon as I could," she said, her eyes brimming with tears. "There's some apples here for you and Hannah from the orchard, you always did like them." 

Hannah peeped into the bag and nodded approvingly, she did love apples and would definitely be taking a couple. "Could make an apple pie with them," Hannah replied seen as Michael wasn't making any conversation. 

Rosemary chuckled. "Henry always - " 

"Michael, my name is Michael," he cut off rudely, his gaze moving to the end of the room so he didn't have to look at Rosemary. It wasn't because he hated her, he just didn't know how to react to her being there. It had so long since they had last spoken and Michael couldn't handle the guilt that he felt. "Why are you here?" he asked, knowing there was more to the visit. 

Hannah felt stuck in the middle but when she attempted to leave the room to give them some space, Michael quickly put his hand on her thigh to stop her from leaving. 

Rosemary took a deep breath, this wasn't going to go down well. "I want you to come home, Hen, Michael," she said bravely glancing between Hannah and Michael. "Your brother misses you, we all do. It's not been the same since you left, if anything it's been a bit boring." 

"What about dad?" 

"He passed away in his sleep a couple months ago, it was very peaceful." 

Hannah saw the shift in Michael's mood at those words. It wasn't very often that Michael spoke about his life before Birmingham but when he did, he always spoke fondly of his adoptive father. He used to recall memories in the dead of night when himself and Hannah where having one of their heart-to-hearts, lovingly speaking about fishing trips and how they used to do woodwork together. Hannah didn't believe it at first, it was a huge contrast to the Michael she knew and she couldn't imagine him fishing with his father. It was sweet though, it showed Hannah his more vulnerable and kinder side. 

"I'm sorry to hear that," Michael mumbled, not wanting to show his emotions yet. "But I'm not coming back to Sheffield, my home is here." 

Rosemary's heart dropped as she nodded, was there any point in trying? The answer would always be a no. "This isn't you though Michael and you know that. The Hen, Michael, that I know would never get involved in anything like." 

"I've changed and that's that, there's nothing else to it. Did you come here to see if I was actually okay or did you just want to bring me home? You've had a wasted journey if that is the case..." 

Hannah knew Michael and she could see that he was struggling to keep his emotions in check. All he really wanted to do was lean over and hug his adoptive mother, he had missed her a lot, along with his brother, but he knew that it would just make everything harder.

"I haven't had a wasted journey," Rosemary replied as she placed her hand on Michael's shoulder, thankful when he didn't pull away. "I'm very happy that you have found a good woman, look after her and Hannah, look after him." 

"I will," spoke Hannah, her heart going out for Rosemary. "Talk to me, Michael," Hannah said once Rosemary had left. 

"Do you mind going? I just want some time to myself if that's okay." 

Hannah nodded, she didn't want to upset him anymore. "I need to tell you something before I go but I don't - " 

"Tell me tomorrow," Michael said quietly, his mind not fully there as he thought about the death of his adoptive father. "I love you." 

Hannah sighed, she needed to tell Michael about Luca but was it worth giving him added stress? He was still in recovery and the visit of his mother had obviously sent him back a few steps. 

Hannah just had to make sure that she told Michael before Luca did.


	43. hospital visits. (smut)

"Missed this, missed you," Michael whispered, not giving Hannah enough time to sit down before his hands were roaming across her thighs. Slowly, he moved Hannah's work uniform up so he could access more of her skin.

Hannah looked down with a smirk as she placed her hand on top of his. "You saw me yesterday Michael."

"It doesn't change the fact that I've missed you... Missed fucking you."

"That's what I thought," she whispered shakily as Michael lightly tugged on her panties, signalling that he wanted more. Hannah wanted to be a tease though and make him desperate for her so she crossed her legs, trapping his hand in between her thighs.

"Do you want to do something for me?" Michael asked as he pushed Hannah's thighs apart with all of his strength. Hannah gave up and chuckled, allowing him to return to his previous actions. "Something that I know you love to do..."

"What is it?" Hannah asked as she glanced over at Michael's lap, gulping at the sight. "Michael!" Hannah giggled as he placed her hand over his bulge, she made no attempt to move it though, quite pleased with what was happening. Private times alone in the convent whenever Hannah had the chance just weren't cutting it, she needed more.

"Come on, it's been so long. I promise that I will return the favour."

"What if someone walks in? I'm sure your medication is due soon." As much as Hannah wanted it, she had to remember that almost everyone in the hospital knew her and she would never be able to look anyone in the eye again if they walked in on her on her knees.

"Let them," Michael shrugged, as nonchalant as ever.

"No, just give me one minute." Hannah removed her hand and walked out to the hallway, calling over to one of the nurses that was walking down the corridor. "Hi, could you tell the nurses not to come in here for a little while. We need to discuss something very private and we can't be interrupted. The same goes for you two," Hannah replied, referring to the two guards who were stood out in the hallway.

"Yes of course," the nurse replied with a nod, smiling at Hannah who was bright red from being turned-on and also the hotness of the hospital room. It was like all of the air had left as Hannah turned around and watched as Michael moved himself to get more comfortable, a smirk on his face.

"This is why I love you, Hannah," Michael whispered, watching as Hannah fell to her knees. "Take your hair down."

Hannah rolled her eyes playfully as she moved her arm to unpin her hair, the brown locks falling around her face. Michael licked his lips as he leaned down, pressing his kiss against Hannah's mouth, his hand instinctively going for her throat. Hannah moaned into his mouth, giving him an opportunity to roll his tongue over hers in an immoral and filthy kiss that had Hannah weak. All the while, her shaking hands were fumbling around with the buttons on his trousers, desperate to touch him. She had to be careful not to hurt him, his leg was still sore from the injuries that he had sustained but Michael wouldn't have cared if she had hurt him.

"Come on, love," Michael whispered seductively as he pulled away from the kiss. "Show me what that mouth does."

Hannah blushed again, why did she always act like a schoolgirl when he spoke to her in that manner? She couldn't get over him, never would be able too.

Hannah freed Michael's cock, involuntary licking her lips as she looked at him through her eyelashes.

Michael felt as if he was in a dream when he felt Hannah wrap her mouth around his hard cock, the wetness of her mouth and slips sending shivers down his spine. Hannah's confidence always increased at the sound of Michael's moans; a divine sound that she adored. Hannah moved her mouth further down, using all her tips and tricks to get Michael going.

"Fuck, I have missed this" he cried out, an angelic moan coming from his body. "I hate being here when I could be out there with you."

Hannah released his cock from her mouth and placed her hand there instead, rubbing it up and down at a steady pace and adding pressure every now and again so that the pleasure didn't stop for Michael. He was pretty much shaking as he leaned down to rub his hand across Hannah's cheek, a sweet smile on his face yet there was still glimmers of desire there.

Hannah's lips were darkened and wet with saliva. Michael wanted nothing more but to fuck Hannah on the desk but his legs were restricting him from doing anything, he just had to keep reminding himself that he would be back home in a few weeks hopefully.

Swirling her tongue around Michael's tip, Hannah continued the action a few times and listened to his soft whimpers before finally engulfing his cock again. Hannah's cheeks were hallowed as she bobbed up and down without mercy, keen to get Michael to the edge so she could selfishly have her turn but also because she was desperate to see that expression that he made when he came down her throat. It wouldn't take long for Michael to reach his peak and Hannah couldn't wait to see it, the sight to heavenly it was almost unreal.

"Come on, sweetheart," Michael whimpered, tugging on Hannah's hair. "Make me - "

Michael was cut off by Hannah sucking on the head of his cock, desperate for him to be quiet so she could continue on. Usually, she adored it when he spoke dirty but she had missed this so much, just the intimacy of being with him sexually, but it had been too long.

After a couple of more minutes of Michael doing his best to keep his orgasm at bay, as he wanted to appreciate the feeling of Hannah's mouth going up and down his cock forever, Michael began to pant as he felt his orgasm coming. He was gagging for it, his hands tightening around Hannah's hair as he pushed her further up and down, quickening the pace.

"Holy shit," he whispered as he felt the world stop around him; the only thing he could feel was the pleasure of his orgasm rip through his body. The only words that were falling from his mouth was Hannah's name, repeating itself in a beautiful harmony. When Hannah finally came back up, a bit of cum dribbling down her cheek which she quickly swiped onto her finger and placed into her mouth, appreciating the taste. "God, you are something else, you know that," he said as he ran a hand through Hannah's hair.

Hannah looked irresistible, her lips plump and went, her hair slightly knotted from where Michael had been tugging on it, she was a masterpiece.

"Did I do okay?"

Michael chuckled before nodding, "Now get on that table."

+++

There had been plenty of chances for Luca to come to the hospital and make peace with Michael, or kill him, which ever one he decided to do. It was just typical of Luca to wait until Hannah was there, putting her in a position she did not want to be in. All she had done was nip to the toilets to clean herself up a little bit after Michael had finished with her, she was gone for no longer than ten minutes. Yet when she arrived and she saw the two guards laid out flat on the floor, she knew that he was there and that he was most likely there to finish off the job.

Hannah didn't know what came over her as she crouched down on the floor and grabbed the gun that had fell out from one of the guard's pockets. The killing machine felt heavy in her hands and Hannah was shaking as she held it in at an arm's length. She had no idea what to do with it, but she knew that it was loaded, and if needed, she would know how to use it. Hannah had only held a gun once and that was when Michael had handed it to her while he was getting ready, it was an odd experience and she didn't like it at all. There was too much power that came with holding a gun, power that Hannah couldn't handle.

The door was open, and she could hear Luca talking which was a good sign, it meant that Michael was still alive. She didn't know what she would do if she ever saw his dead body.

"And your Hannah, what a lovely girl..." Luca trailed off.

Hannah peeped her head around the corner and saw the gun pressed against Michael's forehead. He wouldn't show it, but Hannah knew that Michael was petrified. His jaw was clenched as he looked up at Luca, adamant that he would not show any sign of fear and weakness, he had to prove himself and so far, he was but then Hannah was mentioned and that changed everything.

"What are you going on about?" Michael asked slowly.

Luca chuckled before giving Michael the once-over, he had been waiting for days to tell Michael about his visit to the convent. "Hannah and myself spent some time alone, it was quite the experience. We spoke, she shouted, I held her hand."

Michael shook his head, he didn't want to believe this, didn't even want to think about it. He knew that Luca was trying to break him, make him think the worst-case scenario but Michael didn't believe it and he never would.

"She wouldn't - "

"She did," Luca interrupted, his finger still dangerously close to the trigger. "I kissed her hand, felt her soft skin against mine. You got lucky, didn't you? I'm almost jealous." Michael scoffed and glared at Luca, one more word about Hannah and he was going to blow. "Do you think I'd have a chance? I mean, she would be very lonely after you had died and I believe with the right words I could maybe bring her around, I have that effect."

"Over my dead body."

"That can be arranged."

"Yeah? Well hurry up and do it because I haven't got all day and Hannah will be back soon," Michael replied, unaware of Hannah who was still stood behind the door with a gun in her hand.

She looked down at the gun and contemplated entering the room but her nerves were stopping her and maybe that was for the best.

"Okay," Luca said with a smile before pulling the trigger, chuckling darkly when Michael opened his eyes to realise that he was still alive. Hannah braced herself as she squeezed her eyes shut but when she heard Luca's chuckle, she slowly opened her eyes and mentally prayed when she saw Michael still alive. "I have a deal with Polly. There is only one Shelby that will end up dead and that is Tommy so stop worrying. It's been a pleasure to talk to you. Goodbye Michael."

And with that, Luca turned around and walked towards the door as calm and collected as ever. Michael fell back into his chair as he tried to process everything that had just happened. Should he be happy that he wasn't going to be killed? Was he supposed to be loyal and tell Tommy off the plan? That would mean going against Polly though and he didn't know if he had the guts to do that. The main question was – why had Hannah been with Luca and what happened between them?

Luca on the other hand looked smugly at Hannah as he walked past, winking at her before noticing the gun. There was a smile on his face, almost as if he was proud of Hannah.

"It was lovely to see you again, Nurse Anderson."

Hannah stuck her finger up when he turned his back before heading straight to the room to make sure that Michael was okay, forgetting that the gun was still in her hand but she was more focused on making sure that Michael didn't hate her.

"I heard everything, are you okay? Did he hurt you? I'm sorry that I didn't tell you about Luca coming to see me, I was going to but then your real mum came and then you told me to leave so I was going to tell you today but then you know, you wanted a blowjob so I didn't really get chance and now this has happened and I'm just sorry," Hannah rambled, the words coming out at lightning speed, her hands flapping around in the air.

All Michael could focus on was the gun that was about to fly from Hannah's hands. "Why on Earth do you have a gun, Han?" Michael shouted. "Put it bloody down before you accidentally shoot somebody."

Hannah looked down at the gun with wide eyes before placing it on the table carefully, terrified that it would go off. "I'm sorry. I wasn't going to do anything, I think, I just panicked and thought that if he did do anything then I might have a chance of killing him - " Hannah cut herself off. "Killing him? I can't even kill a spider, let alone a gangster. God, I look and sound pathetic but I was just worried about you."

Michael bit his lip as he nodded towards the seat across from him. "What did he say when you visited him?"

"Not much really," Hannah replied as she sat down, budging her chair away from the gun. "We just spoke about you, and he told me that he knew stuff about me. I didn't invite him there, I promise, and I most certainly did not want him anywhere near me or the convent but it just happened. I came back from work and there he was with a piece of cake and tea, talking to Sister Margaret as if he was a lovely person."

"It's not your fault, you tried to tell me but I told you to go home. As long as you're safe, that's all that matters to me."

"I am, I'm fine. A bit embarrassed about the whole gun thing but I'll get over it."

"It was quite funny."

"Shut up!" Hannah mumbled with a slight smile. "I overheard everything that he said, are you going to tell Tommy about Luca's deal with Polly?"

Michael shook his head, he couldn't do it to his mother. Tommy was strong enough and brave enough to deal with this on his own and Michael knew that Tommy would be able to stop Luca someway, it was just a matter of when.

Little did Michael know, that choice would ruin his relationship with Hannah forever.


	44. new york city.

Hannah and Michael had always spoke about moving to America to get away from Birmingham. It was like a little dream of theirs, something that they could look forward too. Hannah never expected Michael to go without her.

The last few months had gone so well, they were getting on completely fine despite everything that had happened since Luca had arrived on the scene. Michael had spent a few weeks at the convent, which took a lot of persuasion, but he was eventually allowed there as long as they didn't share a bedroom. There had even been an improvement with the relationship between Michael and the nuns. They had seen his kinder side that not many people saw; the humour, the charm and the jokes. There was no better feeling than watching all of the people that you loved get along without any arguments. Hannah finally felt as if everything was going great and that nothing would stop them.

After a while, Tommy had moved Michael to safe house on the outskirts of Birmingham where Luca couldn't get to him. Hannah visited him every single day, usually before or after work, bringing him all sorts of things to keep him occupied while he was cooped up. She could see the desperation in his face, he just wanted to be out there and doing something to help the family but instead he had been kept in a house like a prisoner, just with a few more privileges.

Hannah continued to ignore Tommy whenever she saw him on the streets, she much preferred it when Tommy was living miles away. It would be that way until all of the Italian business was over and done with and maybe then she would consider talking to Tommy. Luca had made no attempt to contact either herself or Michael either, thank God. It brought them both comfort as they no longer had to worry about the chance of being murdered but there was one thing that did linger over both of them, neither Hannah or Michael ever talking about it - the deal.

There had been plenty of chances for Michael to tell Tommy about the deal but every time he backed out because he feared what would happen to Polly. He knew what Polly's plan was, he had worked it out when Luca had visited him in the hospital but it was confirmed later on. Polly was apprehensive when Michael brought it up to her, refusing to answer any questions that she asked but it just proved Michael's theory right.

Hannah believed that Michael should have told Tommy about it. She understood that he wanted to protect his mum but she couldn't help but think that there was something deeper going on. Polly was not on the best terms with Tommy but she would never agree for any member of the family to be killed because despite everything that had gone off, Polly had once made a promise to the boy's mother and that was to protect them no matter what happened.

Michael refused to tell Tommy though, he genuinely thought it was for the best - the biggest mistake of his life. In hindsight, he should have told Tommy about it, maybe then what happened wouldn't have happened, he would still be in the England with the woman that he loved but it was too late, there was no going back.

When the car pulled up outside the safe house, a driver ready to take Michael to the betting shop in Small Heath, Michael knew that something was going on. Tommy had told him to stay away from town until the Italian business had blown over, claiming that it wasn't safe for Michael to be in the same area as Luca which Michael had to agree with, he knew that he was going to be safe but Michael couldn't exactly say that to Tommy.

"Why have you asked me here, Tommy?" Michael asked as he walked into the betting shop. There was no-one there which was the first red flag. Polly was stood at the end of the room, a sad expression on her face, her eyes filled with tears as she prepared for what was about to coming. She knew that Michael wouldn't leave without a fight, without Hannah.

Tommy looked at Michael before taking a deep breath - he didn't know how to break the news. A part of him was angry at Michael for not coming clean, he had completely betrayed Tommy's trust but the other part of him was more upset than anything, he didn't want to send Michael away and he especially did not want to break Michael and Hannah up but at that moment in time, he saw no other choice.

"Luca is dead." Was all he said at first, wanting to hopefully bring some good news before he delivered the bad. Michael breathed a sigh of release for two reasons. One, it was finally over and done with and secondly, it meant that the deal between Polly and Luca had fell through. Michael truly believed that he was in the clear. "But that's not the reason I brought your here, I wanted to discuss something else with you."

Michael quickly glanced at Polly who was struggling to look at her son. "What is it?"

"I'm upset with you Michael for not telling me about Polly's plan," Tommy started, noticing the way that Michael stiffened up. "You were going to let me die."

Michael shook his head - another glance at Polly, no eye-contact again, she couldn't face him, she didn't know if she ever could again when Michael found out the real truth. "It wasn't like that at all, Tommy. I was doing it to protect my mum." A quiet sob from Polly made both Tommy and Michael turn their attention to her. It was rare to see Polly cry, it only made Michael more worried for what was about to come.

"And I appreciate that but it doesn't change the fact that you were going to let one of your family members die." Tommy took a long drag on his cigarette; this conversation was killing him slowly. "Me and Polly created the plan to protect you, Arthur, John and everybody else and when you found out the truth, you could have come and told me but you chose to stay quiet and allow me to take the fall."

Michael looked down at the ground in shame, Hannah had been right all along. "You would have done the same, Tommy. I thought I was doing the right thing by standing by my mother and there is nothing wrong with that." Michael turned his attention to Polly, his expression full of fury - why hadn't she just told him the truth? It would have prevented all of this. "Why didn't you tell me mum? You knew that something like this was going to happen and yet you stayed quiet."

"I'm sorry," Polly mumbled, only just audible. "Get on with it, Tommy, please," she begged, wanting to get this conversation over and done with as soon as possible.

"What else do you have to say?" Michael asked, trying to resist the urge to smack Tommy around the head with his walking stick. "Just say it."

"There's a car outside with some money, your passport and some clothes. The driver will take you to Liverpool where you will board a boat and go to New York. The business needs expanding and I'd like you to go."

Michael laughed, was this his punishment? "Alright, let me just go over to the convent and tell Hannah so she can pack her stuff. It was only last week that we were talking about moving to - "

"No." Tommy's voice was stern which was forced, he hated every second of this. "You will go straight away."

"What are you going on about?"

"I mean, I need you to go right now. The boat is already booked and it will be leaving the docks in three hours so Hannah won't have enough time to get sorted out."

"Right, well just make a different booking then. I don't need to go right this minute."

"Yeah, you do. You're expected in New York on Monday so the only time you can leave is today."

Tommy couldn't face Michael, he was ashamed of his actions, he didn't want to be the person who broke the pair up but what else was he supposed to do? He could feel the heartbreak already, could picture Hannah's face when she found out that Michael had left for New York. Tommy had to prepare himself for whatever was coming his way, Hannah would not give up without a fight.

"Mum, tell him!" Michael bawled, he could feel his heart shattering at the thought of being without Hannah. "Wait, it will only be a couple of months, won't it? Okay, that's fine! I can do that! Just let me ring Hannah to let her know what's going on and so she doesn't think I've just run out on her."

"It won't be a couple of months," Polly said, finally speaking up. "It could take up to a year to get everything sorted."

Michael stared at his mother, his anger known just from the expression on his face. It had to be some sick joke, why were they even suggesting something like this? It was wrong and so many levels and they had no right to decide Michael's future.

"I'm not going." Michael was adamant that he would stand his ground, he refused to go to New York if it wasn't with Hannah. "You can fuck right off if you think I am leaving Birmingham without Han. It's just not happening and never will."

The better part of Tommy was telling him to drop the subject and allow Michael to stay in Birmingham but of course, the nasty part of him was telling him to continue. Tommy just kept telling himself that it was for the best.

Polly couldn't even stand to be in the same room as both of them, the pain was just too much. She had never wanted it to get to this, she treated Hannah like a daughter and loved her deeply, it was never her plan to break the two of them up. Michael would never speak to her again. The only reason any of this had happened was because he was trying to protect Polly and yet she had gone behind his back like this, made plans with Tommy to send Michael off without even thinking of the consequences.

"Michael - "

"No, mum, just don't talk to me," Michael cut off, angrily pointing his finger towards Polly. He didn't want to be angry, he wanted to be happy. "I'm not going and that's final. If you are that desperate for me to go then you will arrange another boat, this time with two tickets, and you will give me time to tell Hannah so she can come with me."

He didn't want to do it but Tommy had no choice but to blackmail Michael.

"If you don't go to New York right now then I will walk round to convent and I will tell the nuns everything. I'll tell them about Hannah knowing everything about Father Hughes, I'll tell them that she had allowed a gangster in the convent, tell them about how she protected you, every single little detail - "

"Tommy." Polly tried to stop Tommy but the look that he gave her instantly silenced her.

"I know that Hannah had a gun in her hand, ready to shoot Luca." Tommy was spinning the truth, making it so that it worked for him but it was the only way that Tommy could get Michael to move to London. "I can get Hannah fired from that convent within ten minutes of me stepping into it. Is that what you want? It will ruin her career forever."

Tommy looked up at Michael, his expression hiding his real feelings. Tommy didn't want to do any of this but he was in too deep.

Michael knew how much Hannah loved her profession, she wouldn't be able to live without it. Every single morning, she would wake up in high-spirits, singing along to some song as she put on her work uniform and prepared herself for the day. Every night when she would come back, they would have a good half an hour conversation about Hannah's day, her telling Michael every little detail about a birth. It was what she loved and Michael didn't want to take that away from her.

Even though she would be able to get a job in America, when they eventually returned to the UK, she wouldn't have a leg to stand on. If the Sister's knew the complete and utter truth about everything then they would be sure to tell others and Hannah wouldn't ever get a job in nursing again, they would make sure of it.

"Why are you doing this to me?" Michael asked, his voice quiet as he mentally went through the pros and cons. All he wanted was Hannah, that was all he had wanted for years and when they were finally in a good place, they were always ripped apart from each other.

"I don't want to do this," Tommy replied after lighting another cigarette. "In fact, it's the last thing that I want to do but you have a lot of making up to do and I think New York is the right place to start."

Michael nodded, he had no choice. All he could do was risk it and hope that Hannah would understand and forgive him in the long run, maybe she would be there when he arrived back from New York. Michael could always send Hannah a letter and explain everything to her properly, make her see sense and understand why he made the choice that he did.

"I'll never forgive either of you for this," Michael sniffled as he wiped away a few tears. "Can I at least phone Hannah?"

Tommy closed his eyes and shook his head.

"Let him," Polly said sternly.

Once again, Tommy shook his head. "There's not enough time." Tommy stood up at that and looked at Michael. "I'm sorry," he said quietly before walking out of the door and towards the front of the house where the car would be waiting.

There were a few moments of silence before Polly finally found the courage to speak up and try and make peace before Michael left.

"I'm so sorry," Polly wept as she wiped her face clear of the tears. "I didn't want to hurt you like this, never in my life. Please forgive me."

Michael raised one hand in the air before shaking his head. "I can't, Polly, not yet." It had been so long since Michael had called her Polly, it felt alien. "Well, it looks like I've got to fucking go."

Michael began to walk out of the door but he was quickly turned around and smiled softly at Polly who was a complete mess at the kitchen table. "Will you tell Hannah that I love her and that I always will, no matter what happens."


	45. the truth.

Every day at five o'clock, Michael would ring the convent so he and Hannah could have a swift chitter-chatter about their day, it usually happened when Hannah was unable to get to the safe house due to work commitments. It ran the phone bill up big time and the sisters usually had a grumble about it but it wasn't the company phone that Hannah was using and Michael always gave Hannah some money towards the cost of the phone call which was very sweet of him. It had become a nightly routine, so when Michael didn't call, like he said he would, Hannah instantly thought of the worst possible scenario.

Hannah had been sat by the phone for ten minutes, fingernails in her mouth and leg bobbing up and down, scared stiff that she would get a knock on the door and it would be one of the Shelby brothers to inform her of Michael's demise. Even though Luca had made a deal with Polly, it didn't mean that he wouldn't change his mind in the long run and would go after Michael, all it would take was one wrong word from either Polly or Tommy. If Luca could find out information about Hannah that hardly anyone knew, then he would easily be able to find out where Michael was hiding. All it would take was a little bit of cash and some kind words to desperate people who would do anything to survive financially.

With her mind all over the place, Hannah picked up the phone and dialled the telephone number before asking the person on the other side of the phone line to be connected to the safe house where Michael was meant to be staying. It was a long minute as she waited for someone to answer, she tried to block the images of Michael's murdered body out of her head but it was becoming impossible, every second that was passing was just another second of Hannah not knowing what was going on and why he hadn't called like he usually did.

It could be a simple misunderstanding, Michael had probably taken a nap and had overslept or he was busy doing something and hadn't noticed the time. When you dated a member of the Shelby family though, something like this always meant that you thought of the worst thing possible. It was hard to have common sense after everything that had happened over the last few years.

"Oh, hello, I was just wondering if Michael was in," Hannah said to the women who owned the house. She had been sworn to secrecy by Tommy and so far, she had kept her promise to protect Michael from any wrongdoings. Maybe she was a bad person though who had snitched on Michael to Luca and the Italian's, you couldn't trust anybody.

"No, he's not in love. He left a few hours ago and hasn't been back since."

"Left?" Where could he have gone? If he had come back to Small Heath then he was an absolute fool. Hannah believed that Luca was still knocking around, the vendetta not over and done with yet. "Where did he go?" If Michael was in Small Heath like she hoped then he would have popped by the convent to inform Hannah of any updates, he wouldn't have just left it because he knew that it would worry Hannah.

The woman thought for a moment as she tried to recall what had happened earlier on in the day. "An older gentleman came and picked Michael up and took him to see his mother and cousin."

"Oh," Hannah said quietly - there was nothing to worry about. Hannah's imagination had just got the better of her again. "Thank you for your help and I'm sorry for wasting your time."

As Hannah put the receiver back on the hook, she chuckled quietly to herself. Michael would probably be around any minute then or he would go back to the safe house and call her from there. Hannah felt like such an idiot for being dramatic and worrying about him but she had ever right. There was a wide-spread panic in Small Heath and surrounding areas, almost everybody knew about the Italian's vendetta with the Shelby's - mostly because Tommy wanted to show off and have shootouts in the middle of the street. If everybody else was worried then you could only imagine what Hannah was life. She wasn't much of a religious person but every night, she would walk with the sisters to the chapel in the convent and pray that Michael would be safe and that no harm would come to any of the Shelby's. Even though her dislike for Tommy was very strong, she would never wish death upon him. He was a father, with a child on the way, and she didn't want any devastation left behind for any members of the family.

But then it got to eight at night and there was still no phone call and no visit. As clingy as it sounded, it was unlike Hannah and Michael to go more than a day without speaking to each other. There was always something to discuss, whether that was happy things or bad things that had kicked off throughout the day. Hannah knew that Michael would never purposely ignore her so of course, the bad feelings started to come back. She struggled to eat the dinner that had been made by Sister Maria and Sister Margaret, she couldn't even focus on the book that she was reading about midwifery, all she could think about was Michael and what he was doing.

"Am I alright to use the telephone when you are finished?" Hannah asked as she stood halfway down the stairs, interrupting Alexandra who was lovingly speaking with someone that she had recently been seeing. The sister's approved of this gentleman, Hannah had never met him, and they said that he was a respectable man. At least someone in the convent was having a happy relationship, Hannah could only dream of it.

Alexandra nodded and held five fingers up. "Won't be long," she mouthed before turning back around to continue chatting to her mystery fella.

All Hannah could do was pace the hallways and calm herself down as she waited. It was tempting to run over to Watery Lane and see what was happening in person but she didn't want to intrude on any family business that was happening and disturb something that was important.

"Did you hear the news?" Alexandra said from the top of the staircase, watching Hannah pace around with a worried face. Alexandra watched Hannah with concern, she could sense that something bad was going to happen.

Hannah froze and looked at Alexandra. "What news?" She asked, fearing that Alexandra had heard some terrible news from her partner.

"That Luca Changretta was shot earlier on this morning by Arthur Shelby. I overheard one of the girls talking about it in the clinic. I was going to tell you earlier but I didn't want to say anything in front of the other nurses and Sister's and to be honest, I thought you already knew but judging by the way you've been acting for the last few hours, you didn't."

Hannah shook her head. If what Alexandra was saying was true then Michael would have been round at the convent within minutes to tell her the good news - at least that's what Hannah kept telling herself. If she continued to think awful things then she was sure she would end up having a breakdown.

"No, I didn't know but thank you for telling me. Is the phone free now?" Hannah asked as she pointed down the stairs. She was in a rush and wanted to get there before any of the other nurses decided that they needed to make some calls.

Hannah couldn't even think about the death of Luca. She was glad that it was over and done with, just another chapter of their life closed, but the concern over Michael's wellbeing was much greater to Hannah. There would be a time to think about the death of Luca and how things would be starting to be good again but that time wasn't now, it was for a later date.

Alexandra nodded, her eyes never leaving Hannah's as she flew down the stairs and straight towards the stairs. A part of her wanted to stick around, be nosy and listen in on the conversation in an attempt to figure out what was wrong with Hannah but she knew better and she did not want to get involved with whatever domestic Hannah was having. It was none of her business.

When Hannah finally got through to the betting shop, Hannah let out a huge sigh of relief. Polly was on the other end of the phone and she didn't sound too upset and maybe it was a stretch but Hannah took that as a good sign. If Michael had been killed before Arthur was able to take down Luca then Polly would be distraught.

"Who's this?" Polly asked when Hannah didn't say anything, she had been in her own world.

"Oh, sorry. It's Hannah, I was just wondering if Michael was still there?" Hannah asked cheerfully, everything would be okay - at least that's what Hannah thought. There was silence from Polly, too much silence for Hannah's liking. "Polly?" There was more silence until Hannah heard the faint sound of a sob. "Polly, answer me, please! What's happened?"

On the other end of the phone, Polly wiped away some tears that had fallen and stood up straight, she had done too much crying. "I'm going to send a car around to the convent, the driver will take you to Tommy's house."

"Tommy's?"

"Everything that has happened today was Tommy's idea so he can be the one to break the news to you, not me. Just know that Michael is alive, that's the most important thing." Polly was speaking in riddles leaving Hannah in a state of confusion. Why did she need to go to Tommy's? "Michael told me to tell you that he loves you very much and always will."

Hannah giggled before shaking her head, not understanding anything. "Well Michael can tell me that when he next sees me, can't he? Is he over at Tommy's now?"

Hannah truly believed that nothing had happened, this would be some elaborate joke and that everything would be okay. It was nothing, Michael would be at Tommy's, drinking some expensive alcoholic drink that Tommy had got to celebrate the death of Luca. John, Esme and their kids would be there as well, thankful that they all got to see another year. Arthur would be drunk as anything and Linda would be watching with a smile on her face as she held their son close.

It was all going to be okay.

+++

It wasn't going to be okay.

Hannah had expected to pull up to Tommy's and see plenty of cars, maybe even the sound of music but there was nothing. It was as if she had arrived in hell. Hannah knew instantly that she had a right to feel worried the first time around. She had realised that to be called to Tommy's house meant that something awful had happened, people didn't just go for the fun of it. Tommy wasn't the type of person to invite someone around for tea and cake.

A maid opened the door with a smile, immediately allowing Hannah in. "Mr. Shelby told me to let you in, he's in the office waiting for you."

Tommy was a nervous wreck in the office, sat behind his desk with a large glass of alcohol, it was his fourth one since Polly had rang to inform him that Hannah was on her way up. Tommy had no problem with Hannah, in fact he quite liked her, so to break her heart was going to kill him. He knew that Hannah hated him with a passion and he accepted that, Tommy had done wrong and he was fully aware that it would take more than a couple of sorry's to get Hannah to forgive him. This next conversation was just going to make things about ten times worse but he was prepared for whatever came his way - he had even gone to the effort to hide some glasses so Hannah wouldn't throw them at him. He was sure that her temper was going to be at an all-time high tonight.

"Tommy," Hannah said, walking straight towards the desk to sit down. She did a quick scan of the large room, there was no Michael, none of the Shelby's were there. "What is it you need to tell me?" Hannah wanted to get straight to the point and not mess around.

Tommy looked up and gulped before moving his eyes back down to the desk again, he, on the other hand, wanted to put this off for as long as he could. "Would you like a drink, Hannah?"

"No, I wouldn't. I'd like to know where Michael is seen as he has vanished off the face of the earth."

"Are you sure? I have some nice whiskey that I got - "

"No," Hannah cut off, her gaze stuck on Tommy as she tried to read him and figure out what was going on in that messed-up head of his. "Where's Michael?"

Tommy leaned back in his chair and took a deep breath, he might as well get it over and done with. "Would you like a cigarette?" He couldn't do, he couldn't tell her.

Hannah shook her head; her patience was wearing thin. "Where's Michael?" she asked again. Tommy avoiding the conversation was just making her feel worse, it was obvious that he had something to hide. "Just tell me!" Hannah shouted as Tommy attempted to stand up.

He quickly sat back down and nodded his head. "Michael left Small Heath this afternoon," he mumbled. Hannah couldn't understand a word that he was saying but she knew that it wasn't good.

"What?" Hannah asked, leaning forward a little. Tommy remained silent again and look down at the floor. "Tommy."

"Michael left Small Heath this afternoon," he said, this time louder.

Hannah furrowed her eyebrows in confusion, where had he gone? "What do you mean he left Small Heath this afternoon? I rang the safe house and they said that he was with you so where has he gone from the betting shop?"

"Liverpool."

Hannah laughed in disbelief, this had to be some joke. "Why would Michael be in Liverpool? I'm positive he doesn't know anybody up there and I know for a fact that you don't have any business up in Liverpool."

"He went to the docks."

"The docks?" And that's when the penny dropped. Hannah straight away went mute as she leaned back in her chair, trying her hardest not to cry in front of Tommy. Why had Michael gone without telling her? "Has he gone to America?" Hannah's voice was timid, her life was falling apart and she didn't know what to do or how to react. Maybe it was all just a bad dream and she would wake up any moment now and Michael would still be in Birmingham, not on a boat to America.

Tommy nodded. He truly didn't know what to say without making things worse. Hannah would never understand Tommy's reasons for sending Michael to New York which was fine, she just saw it as Tommy taking away the one good thing in her life. Bitterness, which Tommy had, was not a good emotion to carry around.

"Was it your idea?" Hannah already knew the answer, she could tell just by looking at Tommy. What had happened earlier that afternoon had affected him more than he was willing to let on but Hannah could see right through Tommy, she could see that he was upset about sending Michael away. "Why, Tommy?"

Hannah didn't know who to be angry at. She was angry with Michael for leaving her without warning, there wasn't even a phone call or a note which explained why he had left, it was just so unlike him. Then there was Tommy - she was always angry at Tommy. But why didn't Polly put up a fight? She would never just allow Michael to go to America, not without kicking off and doing everything that she could to make Tommy see sense. Polly must have had some part in it which shocked Hannah, she didn't think Polly was like that at all.

"Polly made a deal with Luca, it was made-up deal that me and Polly created in order to protect everyone. Michael knew about this deal - "

"I already know all of that," Hannah interrupted - it was old news at this point. "Luca is dead now so why does it matter about this deal? Everybody is still alive, you are still here, so why isn't Michael? Why did you send him away?"

"Michael didn't know that it was fake, did he?" Tommy raised his eyebrows as he leaned forward, his arms resting on the desk. Hannah could have smacked him straight across the face there and then but she held herself back. "He was willing to let me die and he betrayed our trust."

Hannah scoffed before chuckling. "You have some nerve, you really fucking do," Hannah snapped, finally releasing the anger that had been building all day. "Do you remember last year at all, Tommy? Do you remember sending all of your family to prison and then leaving it till the last fucking second, waiting until they had the rope around the neck. You have selective memory."

"That was completely different!"

"Was it? You could've fought for your family but you chose not to. You had to wait until there was something in it for you and congratulations on your OBE, you really deserve it," Hannah said sarcastically, holding a hand to her heart. "I was going to vote for you in the elections but you can piss off now! Someone else is having my vote!"

"Don't be like that..."

"Don't be like that? You deserve a lot worse than I am giving you. Do you know how this feels? You've ripped away the one truly good thing in my life."

"Yes!" Tommy shouted slamming his hands against the desk. "It fucking hurts and it's pain like you'll never imagine but it will get easier." Hannah stayed quiet for a second, of course Tommy knew. You could see the pain every time you looked at Tommy, he missed Grace more than anything. Maybe that's why he had become so angry in the recent years, why he had given up on protecting his family and doing the right thing. "Sorry, I didn't mean to shout."

"It's okay, I should have been more careful with my words." Hannah was still sulking, obviously, and even though she felt bad, she wasn't going to let Tommy get away with it. "You know I feel then, you know what it's like to have someone ripped away from you and yeah, Michael might not be dead but what if I never see him again? Why would you pass that pain onto me?"

Tommy shook his head, he didn't have an answer. It was a bad idea but he couldn't have Michael around him after what had happened. "I never wanted to hurt you, please understand that but I did what I thought was best."

"Well you were wrong, completely wrong. You should have at least given me and Michael the chance to see each other before he left. I would have gone with him straight away, I would have given up everything and you know that which is why you went and did all of this secretly. You didn't want me to go with him, you wanted Michael to be alone in New York."

"You would have been a distraction, Hannah."

"A distraction? I'm his fiancée, I have every right to be with Michael." Hannah couldn't express herself enough, she had gone from being angry to frustrated. "I just want to know why," Hannah said, her voice breaking as the tears finally started to spill. "You took him away from me last year and you've gone and done it again."

For the first time since Grace's death, Tommy felt as if he was going to cry. "I don't know what to say, Hannah, I really don't."

"How long is he going to be away for?"

Tommy shrugged, he couldn't give a definite answer but he knew that it could be more than a year. "Probably sometime next year."

Hannah laughed but not in an amused way. "Great! He's probably going to find some lovely, rich, American who will sweep him off his feet. Michael will forget all about me and Birmingham, won't come home and I'll be left here with nobody." Hannah could barely see Tommy, her vision blurry for the tears, they just wouldn't stop coming.

The idea of Michael with another woman made her feel sick as she thought about him touching her and loving her, taking her out for meals and holding her hand. She could picture another woman and Michael in bed together, talking until the early morning about whatever came to their head or Michael and this new woman walking home after a drunken night out, stopping for kisses at the end of every road. It was what she did with Michael but now he was probably going to go and do with somebody else. Somebody better than Hannah.

"He wouldn't, trust me. He was heartbroken today when I told him, he just wanted to talk to you."

"Why didn't you let him then?"

"Because it would have made things harder for the both of you and I didn't think that was fair." Tommy paused and tried to collect his thoughts, there was so much that he needed to say but he couldn't bring himself to vocalise his thoughts. "I've had a few hours to think it over and maybe I should have gone about it all differently but at the time, I was just angry and upset. I didn't want to send Michael to America, it was the last thing that I wanted to do, but I couldn't have him hanging around Birmingham," Tommy explained, the words not really coming out right.

Hannah squeezed her eyes shut, she just wanted to wake up from this evil nightmare. "We would have moved away, gone to the countryside or something, I don't know. America should never have been an option, not without informing us both properly and letting us go about it the right way."

"There's no going back though, is there? I can't change what has happened over these last few years and trust me, I want to change a lot. I just want to ask for forgiveness, maybe not now, but eventually."

"I don't think that I can forgive you for this..."

Tommy nodded, he understood completely but he hoped that it would change eventually. "I've always liked you, Hannah. You tried to save my wife, you've looked after Michael through his darkest times and you've cared for Esme. What's not to like?" Tommy chuckled before smiling across at Hannah. "That's what make this so hard. When I fuck my enemies over, i don't bat an eyelid, couldn't care less about what I do to them but when it comes to people who have done nothing but treat my family with respect and love them, that's when my consciousness starts to get to me."

"And I hope it stays with you forever. I am sorry about what happened to Grace and I hate the fact that I couldn't save her but it doesn't give you a right to put your misery onto everybody else. You need to stop putting the business first all the time and focus on your family for once because before you know it, everybody will turn their backs on you. They all have the money now to live a comfortable life and not worry about their future, they don't need the business to survive and the only reason they stay around is because of you."

"I know."

"Do you know what makes me so angry though?" Hannah asked as she reached over and grabbed one of Tommy's cigarettes, she needed it desperately. Hannah shakily lit the cigarette, the first drag making her shiver as she tried to calm down.

"Go on."

"Michael adored you for some odd reason, don't ask me why. He looked up to you, dreamed about being as successful as you and you fucked him over big time. I know exactly what he is thinking right now because I know that boy so well and I can guarantee that he is devastated that he couldn't impress you because that's all he ever wanted, right from the moment you went up to Sheffield to speak to him." Hannah took a long drag on the cigarette as she looked across at Tommy. The man was broken but Hannah had no sympathy.

"I know and that's what makes this harder."

Hannah was struggling to see a future without Michael. How was she supposed to go over a year without seeing him? Every single day she would wonder what he was doing, who he was with and if there was a new lover in his life. The thought of being like that was horrid, she didn't want to live in constant worry because it wasn't right, she didn't deserve it at all. Ever since she met Michael, all she had tried to do was protect every member of that family. She had been there for Esme through her birth and afterwards, she had lied for Michael and put her whole career on the line, she had put Polly to bed when she couldn't cope with what had happened with Inspector Campbell, she had been there for every single one of them and this how she ended up. A part of her, a very small part, almost wished that she had never met Michael.

"Do you regret it?" Hannah asked.

"Yes."

"Good, I hope you feel like that for a long time." Hannah leaned over and stubbed her cigarette out in the ashtray before grabbing hold of Tommy's drink and taking a large gulp. She wanted to leave but she also wanted to stay and have things out with Tommy. Leaning back in her chair, with the drink in her hand, Hannah simply stared at Tommy. "Is he going to get in contact with me?"

There was a shrug from Tommy, typical. "He said that he was going to write to you and explain everything properly. I suspect that will be within the next couple of weeks."

Hannah could not go a couple of weeks without knowing the truth, it would end up killing her. The not knowing was the worst thing - where had she gone wrong with Michael, why did he not make more of an effort to stay? It was just so unlike him to give into Tommy's instructions so quickly, he would have put a fight for the sake of their relationship.

"Okay." Hannah bit her lip as she tried to think of other things that she wanted to say to Tommy. She knew that she probably wasn't going to get the truth or the reasoning for Tommy sending Michael away but she wanted to get as much information as possible. "Did Michael willingly go or did it take a lot of coercion?"

Everybody knew that Tommy would say anything to get his own way.

"I, erm, I guess you could say that I blackmailed him. I'm not proud of that one bit but what can I do?"

"Now that is low, fucking blackmail. What did you say to him? I know for a fact that he wouldn't have took money."

"I told him that if he didn't leave for New York there and then, I would go around to the convent and tell Sister Maria and Sister Margaret everything, the whole truth."

"Why would you do that?" Hannah asked thoroughly baffled by the way Tommy had gone about things. "The Sister's know everything."

Hannah was starting to feel guilty. Michael had given up everything in Small Heath for her, to protect her from what the Sister's what do if they knew everything about the last couple of years. Hannah hadn't told them to complete truth about Luca and to Hannah's knowledge, they still believed that Christmas Day was a case of mistaken identity although they probably did make the connection at some point, they might have just not said anything.

It was Tommy's turn to snigger - he wasn't a halfwit. "Me and you both know that the Sister's don't know everything. You've just given them your version of events, haven't you?"

Hannah rolled her eyes. "What I have told them is beside the point. Maybe we should focus on the fact that you blackmailed your own family member so you could get your own way."

"I'm not proud of it."

"And I'm not proud of lying to the sister's but you shouldn't have used me to get what you want." There was so much that Hannah wanted to say, needed to say but she couldn't bring herself to do it. All she wanted was Michael but she wasn't going to get that again or at least not for a long, long time. There was no guarantee that he would wait for her but Hannah knew that she would wait for him. "Can I have the number for the offices in New York?"

Tommy shook his head. "No." He hated how cold hearted he was being but he didn't want anything to come between the business in New York, especially now the big boys were involved. A personal relationship, one like Hannah and Michael's, would only cause disruption and misery and that would lead to a disastrous start for the business. "Give it a few months and you will forget all about it, Hannah."

"Really? I don't think that's the case at all. Every time I look down at my hands, all I will think about is the fact there's supposed to be ring there. I'll dream about our wedding day that won't be happening again because of you. It's just little things you know, like walking past our favourite cafe, that will remind me of him so don't you dare sit there and act as if I will just stop loving Michael with a click of my fingers because I won't and I never will. The sooner you realise that me and Michael are meant for each other - "

"I do realise," Tommy interrupted, his voice louder than Hannah's to silence her. Throughout the conversation, her voice had become louder and croakier, her throat sore from the shouting and weeping. "And there's only so many times I can say sorry before the word becomes pointless to you. I can't change what has happened and I'm sorry about that but you can move on with your life and move onto better things."

"I don't want better things, I want Michael."

"Well Michael isn't here anymore."

"And whose fault is that?" Hannah snarled as she stared at him with the most hate she had ever felt. "I'm going now before I say something, I regret but I just want you to know that I hate you, I always will and I think that you are a shallow, bitter man who would do anything to stop others from being happy because you are jealous that you will never have that. There's a reason almost every woman leaves you Tommy, have you ever thought about that? It was nice knowing you and I hope you do well in the elections and live a happy life full of money while me and Michael will be living in misery because of YOU."

And with that, Hannah stood up and walked straight out of the office, not once looking back at Tommy who was a desperate mess, silently pleading for forgiveness. She couldn't stand to be around him, or any members of that family at that particular moment, all they did was cause unhappiness and Hannah should have never got involved. Instead, she should have listened to the Sister's very first warning about them. Maybe then, she wouldn't have been such an idiot.


	46. october nights.

It was October 1927 when Michael came back to Small Heath, almost a year and a half after he had first left.

Hannah had slowly found herself moving on with her life, very slowly. She had promised herself that she would no longer cry over Michael Gray after the fourth month had passed, she was better than that and she also deserved better than him. There were times when she loathed Michael and would curse his name to every person who mentioned him but Hannah knew deep down that she was still completely in love with him and that when he did finally return, she would be straight into his arms if he felt the same. If he didn't, then she would fight for his love with every fibre of her body.

The nights were starting to draw earlier, the streets of Small Heath becoming dark at around 5pm, leaving Hannah to tackle home deliveries in the pitch-black darkness. She was frightened anymore, and she didn't care for any trouble that started, she was like a machine. After a birth that was close to Watery Lane, Hannah would always walk the long way back, even if the sky had gone down and the chances of something terrible were increased, just so she could avoid reliving memories that she shared with Michael.

Everywhere she went, people would look at Hannah and they could all see the sorrow in her eyes. No matter how hard she tried, Hannah could not hold up the wall she had built constantly and it occasionally fell down, usually in front of Alexandra who had spent so many nights comforting Hannah during her darkest of feelings. Hannah did not want to feel like this, she wanted to be over Michael and move on with someone else but she couldn't, even if she did try, which she hadn't.

Betty and Sophie had tried to set Hannah up on a blind date at the start of the year but Hannah full on refused, she truly believed that Michael would come back and be with her instantly. The engagement ring was always on her finger also, just in case he randomly turned up and whisked her away. Hannah was completely delusional and was a fool to think that it would ever happen.

It was a hard move, going from having someone by your side constantly, a protector and a lover, to nothing but loneliness. Hannah missed Michael the most at night, when she was cold and eager for the touch of his skin on hers, warming her up in an instant. She missed the feeling of his mouth on her neck and she often daydreamed about those times they spent together, wrapped up in bedsheets and doing sinful activities before work or after a taxing day. Hannah just missed Michael more than she had missed anything in her life.

When Hannah first saw Michael for the first time in over a year, she was unsure of how to react. It was pitch black and she struggled to make out if it was him with another person but then the figure down the road laughed and her heart stopped, it was Michael and he was back. All she wanted to do was run over and embrace him but she was stuck on the pavement, probably looking like a weirdo to anyone who was watching from their windows. She had waited for this moment for months but now that it was here, she was clueless on what to do. She wanted to run away and not confront him but she also wanted to run over and kiss him like he had never been kissed before.

Hannah had no choice but to walk over, her patient was in the house next door to where they were stood. It was inevitable, she would have to face him, even if it wasn't a positive experience. She was sure that Michael would be happy to see her but she could already imagine how awkward things would be, what would they talk about?

Hannah finally braved it and began to walk over, keeping her head low and secretly hoping that Michael wouldn't recognise her, she needed time to think things over before she had a discussion with him. Hannah wasn't that far away from Michael though when she saw a female laugh and lean over, kissing Michael on his lips which Michael seemed to enjoy, his mouth moving along with the mystery females. Hannah bit her lip as she tried not to cry, she was better than this, she didn't need to feel upset about a boy.

Michael moving on had been one of her biggest fears and Hannah truly thought that she had prepared herself but clearly, she hadn't. There was tears in her eyes as she approached the couple, why did they have to stand in the way? There was nothing in this area for Michael anyway, she couldn't understand why he was there. Hannah did know that the woman's laugh was aggravating and Hannah wanted nothing more but to run up and smack her around the face, her jealousy at an all-time high.

"Move!" Hannah said rudely to the woman who was stood in front of the doorway. Hannah needed to give Mrs. Jenkins her injections and she also did not want to be stuck in between the couple for too long.

The American woman rolled her eyes before nodding towards Michael. "Someone's got an attitude," she sniggered, her New York accent thick and strong and she the words rolled off her tongue.

"Yeah? And you'll have a broken nose if you don't - "

"Move, Lily," Michael interrupted, it was all he could say. Hannah chuckled darkly at the mention of the woman's name before snapping her eyes to Michael, quickly looking him over. Michael remained as calm and collected as ever on the outside, his hands stuffed into his coat pocket as he smiled at the sight of his true love, although on the inside he was trying not to explode from a mixture of excitement and nervousness. It was not meant to go down like this but here they were. "How have you been?" Michael asked quietly, the question directed towards Hannah.

Hannah laughed before shaking her head. "Fuck off." Hannah barged her way past Lily and headed straight towards Mrs. Jenkins door, only to be stopped by a hand on her elbow. She turned around and closed her eyes at the sight of Michael, why was she still in love with him? Michael's mouth was slightly open as he tried to resist the urge to kiss Hannah there and then. "Don't, Michael," Hannah whispered quietly, glancing over at Lily who was looking at the exchange with confused eyes.

"I'm sorry," his voice cracked slightly as he spoke, moving to hold Hannah's elbow with a better grip, he was terrified that she would leave. "Can we talk about this and I'll explain everything?"

"Explain everything? Like you were meant to in that letter that you never sent." Hannah scoffed, remembering the many times she rushed over to the postman in hopes that Michael's letter had been delivered. It never came and it just signalled an end to their relationship.

Michael moved his hand down to Hannah's hand, glimmers of sadness in his eyes as he looked at the engagement ring that Hannah still proudly wore. She hadn't given up on him but he had given up on her.

"Who is she, Michael?" Lily asked, jealousy and scepticism mixing together.

Michael left Hannah's hand drop to her side before turning to look at Lily, a lie easily coming from his lips. "An old friend, that's all."

Hannah clenched her jaw, she wasn't going to cry, especially not in front of them. "You haven't introduced me to your friend, Michael," Hannah spoke up, a friendly act of her face as she looked over at Lily.

The American woman was everything that Hannah wasn't. Lily's hair was neatly put into place, her nails painted with a luxurious red colour, a silk dress on with a fur coat and make-up that looked like something a movie star would have. Hannah was wearing her work uniform, baby sick down the back on her cardigan, her hair was stuck to her forehead due to the long and exhausting day, her nails chipped and hands dry from the constant washing of the hands. Hannah was trying not to compare herself to this Lily but it was hard not too, she could understand why Michael had gone for the beautiful woman.

"I'm his fiancée," Lily said, holding her hand out for Hannah to shake - it was also an excuse to show off her diamond ring which plainly showed that Michael was doing well for himself over in America. Hannah had a glance at her own engagement ring and smiled proudly, she adored hers despite it being nothing but an embodiment of her heartbreak.

Hannah faked a smile before nodding once, she didn't know how to react or what to say but she certainly wasn't going to shake this Lily's hand. "Goodbye," Hannah said before opening the door to Mrs. Jenkins house, entering and slamming it shut before Michael could say anything else.

Hannah had her back against the door, a hand to her mouth to hide the sobs, as she listened to Michael curse and shout out her name, he didn't want to leave it like this. Michael wanted to discuss things with Hannah properly like adults and explain everything that had happened over the last year and a bit.

"Lily, take the car and go back to my mums. I'm going to wait out here for Hannah," Michael instructed as he fished out the car keys from his pocket.

"Is she that important, Michael?" Lily asked before snatching the keys out of Michael's hands, there was a venomous look in her eyes.

"Yeah, she is."

Hannah was on the other side of the door, listening in on the conversation. Mrs. Jenkins was stood in the kitchen watching Hannah with an amused look on her face, clearly more entertained than Hannah was. All Hannah could think about though was the fact she was going to have to see Michael and actually speak to him about everything. She knew that he wouldn't give up and would most likely end up round at the convent which wasn't good for anybody, especially not Sister Maria who had sworn to give Michael a huge lecture if she ever saw him again.

Hannah knew what she wanted to say, she had been given over a year to plan her speech but she knew that when it came down to vocalising the words, she would be an absolute mess and would either cry into Michael's arms or scream and shout at him. Either way, she was in for a night of it and she wasn't prepared at all.


	47. resentment.

Hannah took her time giving Mrs. Jenkins her injections in hopes that Michael would eventually give up and leave. Every part of Hannah wanted to go outside and forgive him straight away but she wasn’t going to be taken for a mug, not anymore. It would be painful but Hannah was determined to hold her ground. 

 

Mrs. Jenkins thought the whole thing was hilarious. She had kindly made Hannah a cup of tea and gave her some advice which Hannah was grateful for, she needed an outsiders point-of-view, someone who did not know the ins and outs of their relationship. 

 

“I don’t want to talk to you, Michael,” Hannah barked once she had left the house to see Michael still sat in the doorway with pleading eyes. She ignored the groan from Michael as he stood up and began to follow her through the posher area of Small Heath. 

 

“Liar.” 

 

Michael wasn’t an idiot and he knew Hannah more than she knew herself. Hannah could sit there and say that she never wanted to speak, or see, Michael ever again but he saw the truth and he was going to get it out of her, even if it meant following her all the way back to the convent and disturbing the residents who were trying to settle down for the night. 

 

“I’m not lying. Just go back to your mums with your new fiancée and leave me alone because I don’t want to talk to you or see you.” Hannah hated using the word fiancée, it felt like poison in her mouth. 

 

“Hannah, stop running away.” 

 

Hannah was about ten steps ahead of Michael, she had never walked so quick. Her bag that contained all of the medical equipment she needed was bashing against her thigh but Hannah couldn’t feel the pain, her main focus was on getting back to the convent with a murder charge looming on her head. 

 

“Running away?” Hannah shouted, spinning around to look at Michael who immediately stood still. “You were the one who ran off to America without even informing me, you were the one who didn’t bother to write to me to let me know that you were okay so don’t you dare stand there and say that I am running away.” 

 

“I had no choice - “Michael started but Hannah’s loud scoff cut him off. He knew that this wasn’t going to be easy and that it would be painful but it would be worth it in the long run, the two of them would have the chance to sort things out properly, even if that meant they never got back together. 

 

“You had no choice? You always have a fucking choice, you just have no backbone.” 

 

As soon as Michael had stepped on the boat at Liverpool docks, he had hated himself wholly. Every night, he would lay wide awake and think of Hannah and all of the things that she would be doing, his heart heavy and full of sorrow. He should have fought harder, Michael knew this, but no-one would ever understand how he felt when Tommy had informed him of the new business venture. Michael truly believed that he was protecting Hannah - if anything, he had only ruined her. 

 

“Don’t be like that.” Michael moved a few steps forward, stopping when Hannah backed away. It killed him to see, she was usually the one running over to him but she couldn’t even stand to be near him anymore. 

 

“Don’t be like that?” Hannah mocked, her voice brash which would bring in a few noise complaints but, in the moment, she was too heated up. “I will do and say what I want Michael, alright? I want you to leave me alone because I don’t want to do this.” Hannah turned back around again and continued to walk on. The sound of Michael’s footsteps had her breathing heavy, a tiny part of her happy with the fact he wasn’t giving up. 

 

“Han, please - “ 

 

“Don’t call me that,” Hannah bellowed, her feet moving quicker. Michael was faster though and soon enough, he was stood beside her. “Why are you still following me?” 

 

“Because I’m not giving up on you, never in a million years. I want to explain everything so you can understand why I did what I did. Look.” Michael took hold of Hannah’s free hand, stilling her movements temporarily. A sigh of relief came from him when Hannah made no attempt to move away. “I’m sorry, alright? I am so fucking sorry for everything that happened. Not just New York, right from the very start. I didn’t treat you right - “ 

 

“You did treat me right and that’s what makes this worse. I loved you Michael, more than anything and anyone and I never would have given up so easy. You, on the other hand, you just left Small Heath, ran away from your problems like a typical Shelby man.” 

 

“I’m not a Shelby.” 

 

“Stop acting like one then,” Hannah spat, venom in her tone. “You are just like Tommy and I hate that about you.” The look on Michael’s face was killing her. Hannah wanted to scream and shout, kick off and curse his name but she would always end up crumbling when she was with him. If you took away all of the anger, which was mostly there because Hannah did not know how to express her feelings, you would find an impressionable girl that just wanted to be loved. Hannah just wanted to know where she went wrong. “Did you ever care about me?” 

 

“Now you are just asking daft questions, I cared about you so much and I still do which is why I am trying to tell you everything.” 

 

“Tell me about you and Lily.” 

 

As much as Hannah didn’t want to hear about Michael’s new love interest, she felt the need to know so she could figure out where she stood in Michael’s future. One day she would forgive him, maybe she already had but she wasn’t willing to admit it. Either way, she wanted to know if they would ever go back to being lovers or if Michael’s relationship with Lily was a forever thing. 

 

“It just happened, I didn’t plan it or anything. I got drunk one night, not an excuse, and Lily was just there at the bar, we got speaking and I don’t know, things just developed quicker than I expected. Next thing you know, we are engaged and I’m on the next boat to England to tell my mum… and you. I was going to tell you, I promise.” 

 

“Did your love for me just go that quick?” Hannah asked, her voice cracking. She pulled away from Michael’s grip, his hands in hers was just making her weak and she wanted to be tough, she wanted to prove a point. 

 

“No and it still hasn’t, probably never will. Lily was a distraction at first. I got it into my head that when I came home, you wouldn’t have waited for me. It sounds stupid now,” Michael sighed as he rubbed one hand over his face, something that he did whenever he was anxious or scared. At that present moment, he felt both of those emotions. 

 

If Michael couldn’t have Hannah as a lover because of his own stupid mistakes, then he needed her as his best friend. It was already a struggle living without Hannah, he missed everything about her from her silly jokes to her good-natured personality, and he couldn’t picture his life without that. 

 

“Yeah, it does because I have waited and you should have known that. How many times have I said that I loved you and that I never wanted anybody else because you were the man who made me so happy, nobody else? The nurses have tried setting me up on blind dates and I declined every single one because I stupidly thought that you would come home and everything would be completely fine. Now look at me, I look like a complete and utter idiot.” Hannah pushed Michael away before sitting down on the memorial bench that was on the pavement. Her medical bag had been slung to the side as she placed her head in both of her hands. 

 

“You don’t, I promise.” Michael sat down next to Hannah and took hold of her hands, moving them away so she couldn’t hide herself. “I don’t know what to say or do to make things better but I want you to know that I love you, despite everything that has happened over the last few years. Hannah, you will always be a part of me, you were my first love and I’ll always love you, always.” 

 

“Platonically though, yeah? Do you not want me anymore?” 

 

Hannah didn’t care that she sounded weak anymore, she just wanted the honest truth. She would always go back to him like the idiot that she was but that’s the way it would always be. Michael had impacted Hannah so much and he was all that she knew. The plans that they had made together were still fresh in Hannah’s mind, she would often run through the daydreams when it was a slow day at the clinic, a smile on her face. 

 

“I don’t think we are good for each other.” Michael was half telling the truth, half lying. They could be together if they tried, things just always seemed to get in the way. 

 

“Is it because I’m not like Lily?” 

 

“What’s that supposed to mean?” Michael asked with a baffled expression. 

 

“I’m not as pretty as her or as rich - “ 

 

“Don’t do that, don’t,” Michael interrupted. With hesitation, he moved his fingers to lightly grip Hannah’s jaw so she was looking at him. “I don’t give two fucks about that and you know it. You are beautiful Hannah and you are smart and intelligent and you have so much potential. I don’t want to hold you back.” 

 

“You wouldn’t be.” 

 

“I would though, wouldn’t I? Something always goes wrong for us - “ 

 

“And whose fault is that?” The anger came back which was no surprise. Hannah’s emotions were all over the place, up and down like a yoyo. She wanted to scream at him but she also wanted to kiss him. “You could have stayed.” 

 

There was more frustration than anything. Everything could have been perfect if Michael had just fought harder. The Luca situation was over and done with, Michael easily could have left the business at that stage and they could have moved on with their life. They would have been married and had a child if Michael had just stayed. 

 

“I wanted to stay so badly but at that time, I saw no way out. I thought it would be for the best and I was so wrong but there’s nothing I can do to change what has happened. I just want forgiveness.” 

 

“You sound so much like Tommy,” Hannah scoffed, remembering how many times Tommy had tried to make things up with Hannah. 

 

“Don’t compare me to him.” 

 

“Why? I thought you looked up to him.” 

 

“Maybe we would still be together if it wasn’t for him, I don’t know.” 

 

Michael’s lack of responsibility was infuriating Hannah, why wouldn’t he just own up to his mistakes? 

 

“Oh, stop being a halfwit. Yeah, Tommy played a part but it was you who came back here with a new fiancée, it was you who never got in touch with me.” Defending Tommy was something that Hannah never wanted to do again but as much as she despised her for everything that had happened, he wasn’t the only one at fault. 

 

“Why didn’t you get in touch with me? You can’t pin all the blame on me!” 

 

“I tried. Every time I saw Tommy, I would beg him to give me the number to the offices. No-one would give me any information and I just kept hitting a brick wall and I didn’t know what to do. I couldn’t get an address or anything but I still fucking tried, almost every day for a couple of months.” Hannah smacked Michael’s hand away, her pitch increasing as she pushed his body away from hers. “You knew where I was, you knew what numbers to ring and the address for the convent. It was YOU who gave up on us.” 

 

“And I will regret that every single day for the rest of my life.” 

 

“Good, I hope you suffer.” 

 

“Do you hate me?” Michael’s eyes were fixated on Hannah, taking in her face as he remembered the cherished times when life was simple and all they had to worry about was Hannah getting to work on time. Michael had missed Hannah more than he would let on. 

 

Hannah shook her head before wiping away some tears. “No which is annoying me because I really want to hate you.” 

 

“Do you love me?” Michael dared to ask, mentally praying that the answer would be a yes. His voice was low and rough as he leaned down a little so he could look at Hannah whose gaze was stuck on the floor. 

 

“Yeah.” There was another sob from Hannah before she coldly chuckled. “God, how pathetic is that? I’m still in love with the man who ripped my heart and stamped on it.” 

 

“It’s not pathetic.” 

 

“It is.” Hannah looked up at Michael, trying to resist the urge to lean over and kiss him. It had been so long since she had been this close to him, physically and mentally. It felt good to get everything out in the open, even if it was going at snail's pace. “Do you love Lily?” 

 

“I don’t know,” Michael answered truthfully. “Lily is nice but she’s not you.” 

 

“Why are you with her then?” 

 

“I don’t know.” 

 

“You don’t know a lot.” 

 

“I know that I love you.” 

 

“It’s too late for that though, isn’t it?”


	48. resentment p2.

The night was chilly and all Hannah wanted to do was wrap her body in Michael’s so she could feel his warmth but the tension between the two of them was harsh and cruel, Hannah didn’t want it there but she didn’t know how to remove it. She had caused it with her words, which she didn’t completely mean, Michael’s love was all Hannah had ever wanted. Michael could probably leave England for ten years and when he’d returned, Hannah would still be there waiting. She found it mortifying - she had always thought of herself a free-spirited woman, and she still was, just not when it came to Michael. He made Hannah feel special and loved regardless of everything that he had done. 

 

Hannah didn’t want to blame Michael entirely. She understood that the business had a strong effect on their lives, it persistently took over and vandalised relationships but it was paramount to the Shelby family, it had them who they were today. That wasn’t necessarily a good thing but it wasn’t bad either. It made Hannah feel safe knowing she was involved with Michael and his family members even if they did cause her more hassle than needed. 

 

The conflicting feelings were getting too much for Hannah though. One minute she wanted to kill him, the next she just wanted to be with him. It had been this way for the past year. At some evening meals with the nurses and the nuns, Hannah would slate Michael until she was blue in the face. Move forward to the next day and Hannah would be praising him like nothing had happened. 

 

“It’s never too late for us,” Michael mumbled, refusing to believe the words that came from Hannah. 

 

“It’s not fair on Lily.” 

 

“I’d leave her in a heartbeat.” 

 

Hannah shook her head, she didn’t want to be a homewrecker. “The idea is appealing but I won’t have it. I don’t want Lily to feel like this because it’s not nice and I wouldn’t wish it on anybody.” 

 

“I didn’t think that you and me stood a chance, I really didn’t. I expected you to hate my guts which is understandable if you did - “ 

 

“There’s not one bone in my body that hates you,” Hannah interrupted as she shuffled closer to Michael. Every part of her was screaming to run away and to not get involved but it was physically impossible, Hannah needed to be close to him again. 

 

“And that’s what makes this worse. I will always love you more than I will every love anybody in whole life. You’re so thoughtful and sweet and beautiful and it breaks my heart because I did this to you.” Michael wiped away the tears from Hannah’s face, his own tears could wait, he was more bothered about Hannah. “I knew I was going to make you mine from the moment I saw you and I thought that I could make you happy but I was wrong about that one.” Michael paused before laughing, confusing Hannah. “I still have that lighter that I gave you in the alley.” 

 

“Really?” Hannah asked with a raised eyebrow, not expecting Michael to be such a nostalgic individual. 

 

“Yeah, it broke a few months afterwards but I still kept it.” 

 

“Where is it?” 

 

“In one of my draws back at my mums, I tried to fix it but it was no use,” Michael said. It went hushed again, neither one of them knowing what to say or do. Without properly thinking, Hannah leaned over and grabbed Michael’s hand, the action bringing her solace as soon as his fingers linked with hers. “Will you ever come back to me?” 

 

“I don’t know, I really don’t. If you weren’t with Lily then I’d be straight in your arms but I don’t want to be a homewrecker. I also don’t know if I can put myself through all of that again - the business, the heartbreak and everything else that comes with dating a Shelby family member. I mean, you live in New York now. Everything is such a shamble and I don’t know how to feel about any of it.” 

 

“I’d move back, they don’t need me over there anymore. Everything is set up, we have workers and money coming in. If you really wanted to though, you could come over with me and live me. I have this flat that overlooks central park and you would love it. There’s a hospital about ten minutes away from me - “ 

 

“It’s not going to happen, Michael. All of those things sound nice but they are not realistic,” Hannah interrupted with a sad heart. Everything that he was saying sounded magnificent and she could imagine herself and Michael walking around central park with their children but things had changed. 

 

“They are, you just need to let it happen. We’ve spoke about moving away before, remember?” 

 

“That was before you fucked off and left me with nothing but memories. I’ve built a life here now, it’s not the best but it’s something. There’s a promotion coming up, I’ve been looking at buying a flat somewhere so I don’t have to keep depending on the Sister’s.” Hannah reluctantly moved her hand away from Michael’s as she wiped down the tears that represented her downheartedness as she thought about everything they had lost. “My hopes and my future is in Birmingham.” 

 

“And they don’t involve me?” Michael sniffed as he turned to look away, his ego telling him to not show too much emotion. He pulled out a cigarette and lit it with ease before taking a long drag, the nicotine running into his bloodstream and calming her nerves. “And that’s my fault, I know. I should have stayed and put my foot down but I was a coward.” 

 

Just like she used to do all the time, Hannah took Michael’s cigarette from between his lips and used it for herself. If there was anyone who needed to calm down, it was Hannah. 

 

“I know why you left and maybe that’s why I don’t hate you as much as I should.” 

 

“What do you mean?” Michael asked, tilting his head to the side to look at Hannah. 

 

“Tommy blackmailed you, he told me everything. It was wrong of him to do and I could have killed him with my own two hands when he told me.” 

 

Hannah handed the cigarette back to Michael, the smell making her feel nauseous. She had always admired Michael whenever he smoked. It didn’t look good on everyone but Michael suited it especially when he did all his little tricks with the cigarette smoke. He had tried to teach Hannah once when they were alone in the office but it ended up with Hannah coughing and spluttering everything. 

 

“I knew what the consequences would be if the Sister’s completely fired you and kicked you out. You’d have nowhere to go, there would be no progression in your career - “ 

 

“My qualifications would all be taken off me.” 

 

“Exactly and if there’s one thing you love more than me, it’s midwifery. I couldn’t be the reason that was took away from you.” 

 

Hannah smiled at that. If there was one thing that Michael and Hannah did well, it was that they respected each other's profession. Hannah wasn’t always happy with the things that Michael did but she understood that he loved his job and the fact that he worked with his family. Michael also acknowledged Hannah’s passion for midwifery. Even though he didn’t understand a word of what she was saying sometimes, he still listened to everything she said and it took it in, eventually learning some medical things himself. 

 

“Well, thank you but you're not entirely to blame for that. It was me who lied for you and covered up a murder, it was me who went along with all of the shady business dealings that you told me about, it was me that kept my mouth shut.” Hannah stopped and chuckled before shaking her head. “I’d do it all over again.” 

 

It was getting colder as time passed on, the chill bringing goose bumps to Hannah’s uncovered arms. It was warm when she first set out on her rounds but now the chill was becoming unbearable. Without even realising that she was doing it, Hannah was slowly working her way closer to Michael until he eventually pulled her into his body, his arm wrapped around her shoulder and Hannah’s head resting on arm. 

 

The scent of Michael made Hannah want to cry even more. 

 

“Why are you still wearing your engagement ring?” Michael asked as he absentmindedly played with Hannah’s ring, the rock tiny compared to Lily’s. 

 

“I’m scared that if I take it off then everything will become more real and I don’t want to face reality yet, not completely anyway.” Hannah smiled down at the ring with grief, she had once looked at it with contentment. “Do you want it back?” 

 

Michael shook his head. “No, I want you to keep it.” 

 

“Why? I’m never going to need it, am I?” Hannah began to take the ring off but was stopped by Michael, his thumb rubbing over her skin. 

 

“You might do, one day.” 

 

Hannah knew that she had to get back home. A huge mistake would be made if she stayed in his arms on the bench, a mistake she was willing to make but one she would regret. Michael’s words were just tempting Hannah, making her think uncontrollable things that shouldn't have been in her mind in the first place. Michael was engaged and he was due to wed Lily but that didn’t stop Hannah. She needed just one last reminder of all the good times her and Michael spent together. 

 

Not giving herself a chance to debate it, in fear that she would not go through with the sinful act, Hannah moved her head up and captured Michael’s lips, taking the boy by surprise. It took him a few moments to realise what was going on - was he in a dream? - but when he heard Hannah moan softly into his mouth, Michael moved to Hannah’s rhythm. 

 

Michael’s hand was on the back of Hannah’s neck as he moved her impossibly closer. If they weren’t in a public setting, she would have been sat on his lap by now with her hand running through his hair. Hannah was feeling needy, her wanting so strong she couldn’t control it. It was sloppy kiss, their tongues mingling together as they drank the taste of each other. 

 

Their breathing was heavy as they pulled away, Michael attaching his lips to Hannah’s neck where he pressed open-mouthed kisses, the perfumed taste of her skin making him hum softly. Hannah’s fingers were soon in Michael’s hair though as she pulled him up to reconnect their lips. It had been so long and Hannah had missed it so much. Michael always got Hannah going with kisses, he knew exactly what to do when it came to making her intoxicated with his lips. 

 

Realisation hit Hannah sooner than she had hoped. Quickly, she pushed Michael away before jumping up off the bench, stumbling as she leaned down to grab her medical bag. Lily’s face was running through her mind along with so many questions. 

 

“We shouldn’t have - I shouldn’t - fuck,” Hannah shouted as she touched her lips. “I have to go, I’m sorry.” 

 

“Han - “ 

 

“Please don’t follow me. I’m so sorry.” 

 

Hannah rushed off, her feet going exceptionally quick as she tried to get away with Michael. All she truly wanted to do was run back and embrace him for longer but they had done something wrong, something cruel that would surely break Lily’s heart if she was to every know the truth. 

 

Michael was left alone on the bench, slightly out of breath, as he thought about the last hour and how he was going to make things right. 

 

+++ 

 

Alexandra’s eyes instantly went to Hannah’s tear stained face and without a second thought, she dragged Hannah into her body so she could embrace her. The sound of Hannah sobbing killed her, she hated seeing her best friend in this way, especially over a boy. 

 

“I heard rumours that he was back,” Alexandra said as she swayed Hannah from side-to-side slowly, an attempt to calm the shaking girl down. “Have you seen him?” 

 

Hannah pulled away and wiped her face clean of any tears, it would only take another ten seconds for her face to be completely soaked again. 

 

“He’s getting married to another woman,” Hannah cried. Her head was hurting from all the crying, her body was weak and tired and her mouth was dry and sore from the sobbing. “I just love him so much.” 

 

Alexandra grabbed Hannah’s hand and moved her towards the kitchen area of the convent. The sisters were in the chapel and they would not be impressed if they were disturbed. There was a teapot in the middle of the table, along with some clean cups that were there if anyone needed a hot drink after being out all day. 

 

“Sit down,” Alexandra whispered before moving a chair out for Hannah to sit down on. “I think there’s some lemon drizzle cake around here somewhere. Try and calm down while I find some.” 

 

Hannah could not calm down, no matter how much she tried. The feeling of Michael’s lips on her neck was still lingering as she remembered how she felt alive when he was kissing her. It had been so long since had been intimate with him, too long for her liking but then she thought of Lily, and Hannah instantly felt guilty. Hannah would never want to the other woman, even though it was completely tempting. 

 

“We kissed,” Hannah blurted out. She could trust Alexandra completely but she didn’t want to be judged. 

 

There was a disapproving look from Alexandra before she sighed deeply, pouring the tea into a cup and adding milk. “And how do you feel about that?” 

 

“Guilty, happy, ashamed - I don’t know. I just know that I liked it when I shouldn’t have.” 

 

“Of course, you liked it, that’s not surprising. You’ve been waiting for Michael to come back for over a year now.” Alexandra pushed the cup towards Hannah before taking her own seat. “You have to ask yourself if Michael is worth the pain?” 

 

“One hundred percent,” Hannah said without hesitation. “I just have so many conflicting feelings and my god is it dragging me down.” 

 

“You have to do what’s right.” 

 

“That’s the thing, I don’t know what’s right,” Hannah exclaimed, frustration levels rising. “I want to be with Michael but I don’t want this Lily to be upset.” 

 

“Is that his fiancée?” Alexandra asked. 

 

“Yeah, fiancée,” Hannah said, the word ‘fiancée’ coming out in a mocking tone. “Whatever way I got about this, someone is going to end up hurt and knowing my bloody luck, it will be me.” 

 

“Are you going to take that risk?” 

 

Hannah thought for a few moments, her mind all over the place as she debated what to do. There was a list of pros and cons in her head, the pros easily outweighing the cons. 

 

As if someone had completely taken over her body, Hannah nodded her head. “Yeah, I am.”


End file.
